Lost To Me Forevermore
Rin peered out of the clearing as she picked up the fallen arrows. Sango, Miroku and Kohaku were full clad with their weapons, and with an acknowledging nod from Kohaku, the party of three set off.
No doubt to aid another village in the extermination of yokai, thought Rin. Funny how Naraku's death resulted in the increase of yokai sightings. That's where Kaede-sama went too.
"There's a weird aura around here," Kaede-sama had said. "Rin, return to the village. We'll practice another time."
And with that, the heavy footsteps faded into nothingness.
The wind blew in her face, bringing the scent of food to her. The villagers waved, wet clothes hung on lines, children played, and someone dressed like Sesshomaru-sama stood at her hut… Wait a second! Sesshomaru-sama at her hut?
"Sess- Sesshomaru-sama!" she called, wide eyed. "Sesshomaru-sama!"
She rushed forward, her bow and arrows bouncing and clattering against her back, threatening to contact the grassy surface below.
Sesshomaru looked up, in time to see Rin ramming into him, arms around his middle, causing him to stagger backwards from the impact.
"Now, Rin-" Sesshomaru started, putting on a stern face, but Rin cut across him.
"I've missed you so, Sesshomaru-sama!" cried Rin, gazing up at Sesshomaru. He felt his heart beat vigorously as he forgot what he was reproaching her for.
"You did?" he asked, stroking her hair affectionately, but blinking his eyes in disbelief.
"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama!" replied Rin. "And I made clothes for you too!" she added, holding his hand gently as she led the way in.
Despite the numerous times he had gone to the village to give things to Rin, this was the first time he had entered her room, on top of the fact that it was the first time they were so alone. He usually stayed at the doorway, and they'd be surrounded by some of Inuyasha's lot, not to mention Jaken. He had the tiny green yokai wait outside the village this time. He had a feeling that Jaken would be nothing short of a hindrance, but why? And why is it that visiting Rin today felt vital, but a bad choice?
He looked around as he felt Rin look expectantly at him.
"Rin…? These are all done by you…?" he asked, rooted on the spot.
There, on at least three surfaces of the wall, were hand drawn pictures of himself… In great likeliness too!
"Hai! Sesshomaru-sama!" said Rin, smiling angelically. Something told him to remember that smile… that unnerved him tremendously. Why?!
"Kagome-san brought colours and paper from the well, Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin said, happily. "I missed Sesshomaru-sama and Jaken-sama very much, and Kagome-san suggested me to draw, and I did! Do you like them, Sesshomaru-sama?"
He looked down at her eager face.
"Yes, Rin. I like it. Very much." One hand strayed to her cheek. Somehow he just couldn't put down the feeling that something would go wrong.
Rin beamed, then retreated out of the doorway, leaving him with the newly made clothes.
Sesshomaru pulled on the clothes absent-mindedly. Come to think of it, why had he come? He hadn't anything for her, something unprecedented. Furthermore, this instant and his heart differed… Instinct told him to leave, but his heart made it his duty to come- but whatever for?
"Fits well," he mumbled, as he sat on the grass alongside Rin.
"You look perfect, Sesshomaru-sama!" squealed Rin, and he twitched in irritation. No, not of Rin, but of his heart. It felt as if Rin was going to leave soon, and felt the need to remember every detail- her voice, her eyes, her cheeriness, her scent…
Talking about scent, the acrid smell of burning meat came wafting towards them.
He wrinkled his nose. That stupid frog of a yokai must have overdone the fire.
Ignoring the pungent smell, he returned his gaze to the girl.
Rin was bending over a flower bush at the edge of the forest, from which a slight smoking smell issued. In that fraction of a second, something clicked into place, horrifying him.
"Rin!" he shouted, as he sprinted over.
Rin looked back in surprise. The shock and horror etched into Sesshomaru-sama's usually emotionless face scared her. Before she could run to him, reassuring him that she was fine, something heavier than water enclosed her. Instantly, she sensed strong youki from the suffocating brown mass. No, it was many youki infused in this shapeless mass!
Sesshomaru-sama was beside her in a flash- but inside the yokai. Clutching onto him tightly, she managed to breathe, and the suffocating mass was lifted off her. Tensaiga's barrier!
One hand secured on her shoulder, as if Sesshomaru-sama was reassuring himself that she was around.
Toxic fumes irritated her eyes and started a coughing fit. She looked up to see Sesshomaru-sama pausing in the act of using his poison laws. She read anguish in his eyes as hers watered.
"Rin, take Tensaiga," he ordered, himself reaching for his other blade.
But as soon as Tensaiga was removed from his hip, she was thrown out of the yokai altogether, and could only let feelings overwhelm in her as she saw Sesshomaru being absorbed.
Desperation, helplessness… Hope.
A golden arrow had shot out of the woods, hitting the yokai exactly.
Rin ran towards Sesshomaru with a cry of relief which turned into a gasp of horror.
The strong purification powers, which had disintegrated the brown yokai, began purifying Sesshomaru, entering through his injuries. His eyes widened and turned red, before he shuddered violently, as if electrocuted. His glowing eyes turned onto her, and an inexplicable calm filled him.
Now he understood why he needed to remember her details. It was not Rin leaving, it was he. No wonder Jaken would be a hindrance. Thankfully, she was not hurt- he would die if she did.
The corner of his mouth twitched as he realised that he was dying. His eyes closed, and another uncontrollable shudder erupted in him.
Then he moved no more.
Denial vibrated in every fiber of her being as her mind started pounding. It couldn't be, it couldn't be… Sesshomaru-sama was just feigning, it couldn't be, it couldn't be…
She fell to her knees by the limp body, her trembling hand contacting the icy face.
The golden eyes didn't open.
"Sesshomaru-sama! Sesshomaru-sama! Sesshomaru-SAMA!"
Why didn't Sesshomaru-sama stop pretending? Here she was, screaming so hard her voice broke, shaking him so hard it could've been mistaken for an earthquake, and there he was, pretending to be asleep…
…But Sesshomaru-sama had never ignored her like this before. Sesshomaru-sama, who had given up a fight with Naraku just because she screamed for help, Sesshomaru-sama, who had always protected her, who had always been there for her…
"Girl, are you alright?" asked the wandering miko. She ignored her.
"Girl, stop shaking him… he's dead."
Sesshomaru-sama. Dead.
The buzzing in her head rose to a peak, and she heard no more as she succumbed to the darkness.
Was she alive now? She didn't know. Only that it could only be heaven, the place where Sesshomaru-sama was carved exactly into her memory, solid-
"So that's what it was," came Kaede-sama's somber voice.
"What I don't understand is how that bastard could get absorbed!" said Inuyasha-san, frustration saturated in his voice. "He's no pushover. So why-?"
"Theory has it that when a yokai loves and cares like humans, they become more like humans, and yokai powers of protecting itself could be greatly reduced, making one behave more like humans- others before self. Yokais are essentially more selfish than humans,"said Miroku-san.
"Who cares about theories?" squaked Jaken-sama. "It comes down to the same thing! You caused the death of poor Sesshomaru-sama!"
Death. I cringed. He can't be… not because of me… No… He isn't-
"My apologies. I didn't know," came the voice of the wandering miko. "My priority was to save the girl and to destroy the youki absorber. We cannot afford hem around. One day they might absorb enough youki to pose a significant threat. Their intellect is not to be underestimated-"
"That's why it went for Sesshomaru-sama! But Rin is still injured, isn't she?" Jaken-sama said.
"No, Rin's in shock. She's just fainted," came Kagome-san's voice, closest to her.
"What are we doing with Sesshomaru's body?" whispered Shippo. "Bury it?"
I sat up, and the sudden movement made me light-headed.
"No."
I staggered to the interior of the house, ignoring the concerned voices surrounding me. Somehow, I knew that he was there.
Upon the sight of Sesshomaru-sama, my skin broke out in chills. Not of fear, but of icy sorrow that enveloped me. Somewhere deep in an icy void, I felt my heart pump. The breeze felt cold to me. The feeling of emptiness.
My legs wobbled, and I reached out to steady myself, to hold myself up. Because he never would again. Pain exploded as the truth forced itself onto me, the truth I tried to deny. He was gone. Lost to me. Forever.
With that, she fell. Into a seemingly endless depth, nothing to hold on to, nothing to stop her. Nothing. Nothing to live for anymore.
Nothing at all.
Notes:
Please forgive any spelling error- but do point out grammatical errors, if any... My first Inuyasha onshot... Reviews (and criticism...?) appreciated! Lastly, thanks for reading my oneshot, but more thanks if you review... chuckle Thank you! )