Notes:
"Verständnis kommt uns durch die Liebe."
(roughly translated: Love helps us to understand.)
Quote by Richard Wagner - composer
1. I only played "The Beast Within" (and I did read the novel), but I am no expert in Gabriel Knight's biography and I don't know the other games.
2. Gabriel has not read Friedrich's letter.
3. English is NOT my first language.
Verständnis kommt uns durch die Liebe.
Love helps us to understand.
(Richard Wagner)
Being forced to turn into a werewolf wasn't a pleasant experience at all. Of course, no one had told him what it would be like, but it was the most painful thing he had ever experienced. Gabriel didn't know what exactly made him change. Grace had tried to explain him everything about the Wagner opera, the crystals and some old diagram, every time he wasn't unconscious, but he hadn't understood anything at all. It was hard to focus anyway. After he had been bitten, his whole world consisted of agony. He had felt weak, shivery and very, very cold. He couldn't eat, he didn't have any strength left, and he didn't feel like writing, reading let alone talking.
Most of the time, he had been sleeping, dreaming of that night in the woods. Friedrich von Glower was always in his dreams, smiling at him. Somehow seeing his face made him feel comfortable. But then he dreamed of von Zell, who was chasing him through the woods, his face smeared with blood.
He vaguely remembered Grace wiping his forehead and whispering soothing words.
Sometimes he wished, he could wake up and be the Gabriel Knight he had once been, but sometimes he was looking forward to the new challenge. Grace told him they would find a cure, but Gabriel wasn't sure, if he wanted her to end the curse. It was his life, goddammit.
When he wasn't feeling well, he yelled and screamed and tore up his blankets. He was so frustrated. They had locked him up in a stinky cell. What did they think he was? A monster? They already were afraid of him.
"It's for your own protection," Grace had said to him, but he knew she was lying. Sometimes he stared out of the window, waiting for the sun to set so that the darkness could engulf him. Sometimes he stayed up all night to see, if he could endure the sunrise. He hated being alive, and yet he didn't want to die.
He was so angry at Friedrich. That bastard had left him alone. Why hadn't he tried to contact him? Why hadn't he visited him? He knew where he lived. Even when he had driven him back to Munich, Friedrich had barely spoken to him. Gabriel, although mostly drifting in and out of consciousness, had wanted him to talk to him. They had to talk about what had happened in the woods.
But the only thing the baron had said, was: "Shall I take you to Schloss Ritter?"
And Gabriel had thought of Gracie and Gerde, and that he didn't want to see them right now (not that he had succeeded. Grace was a fabulous detective, and she had been there the very next day). "No. To the Huber farm. I have stayed at the Huber farm near Lochham."
Friedrich's only answer was a brief nod, and then he had basically dumped him at the front door, and had rushed off.
Once or twice, Gabriel thought of calling Friedrich, or sending him a letter, but he never did. He wanted Friedrich to make the first step. It was his goddamn duty. He was responsible for all this mess.
##
And now Gabriel was in the same theatre as him, lured into the trap, Grace had set.
As Gabriel stumbled on the stage, wearing that ridiculous costume, he had immediately tried to make eye contact. Friedrich von Glower was in the Mittelloge next to Kriminialkommissar Leber. Gabriel wasn't sure he did see him, but he noticed that he was restless, too.
And then Gabriel had turned into a werewolf, and his mind went blank for a few seconds. His body convulsed, his muscles contracted, and his skin was on fire. He could feel his teeth sharpen, and his hands and feet turning into claws. He had seen Friedrich climbing over the rail, and jumping down into the auditorium. At first he had thought, von Glower wanted to help him, but then he realized he was trying to escape.
"We are not enemies," Gabriel thought. His instincts drove him back into the basement of the theatre. He knew von Glower would have gone there. He could smell his fear and his hatred. Slowly, he padded through the different rooms, trying to find him.
Grace and Leber would be here any second. They would still try to kill von Glower. Gabriel didn't want them to do it. While he was lying on the sofa in the theatre office, he had thought of the time he had spent with Friedrich. He could almost hear him chuckle. And every time he had looked at him, his eyes had been full of happiness and desire. No, he couldn't let Friedrich die. That was why he had fled from his own prison and onto the stage. He had wanted to warn Friedrich. But then he had felt the power of Wagner's music and König Ludwig's clever brain.
"Friedrich," he whispered, although he didn't actually know if the other werewolf could hear him. "Friedrich, we have to get out of here."
And then he heard footsteps and shouting. Grace and Leber came running. Leber had his gun drawn, and Gabriel wondered if the policeman had actually used his gun before. He was lingering in the darkness, watching them. He had to do something, but he didn't really know what. The two humans spun around, when they heard a faint growl. Friedrich, the black wolf, was standing in front of them, all tensed up. Saliva was dripping from his flews, and his dark eyes were darting between Grace and Leber.
Grace let out a shrill shriek, and Leber raised the gun.
"No," Gabriel shouted, but – of course - his warning turned into an angry howl. So he jumped. Leber fired anyway, and he was a crack shot. Hadn't Gabriel slammed into Friedrich, he would have killed the black wolf. The bullet missed Friedrich's head, and hit his flank instead. Friedrich yelped, and began to change back into his human form just as he hit the floor.
It took Gabriel all of his strength to make himself human again, too. He had never done it before. He didn't even think about how it had to be done, he just needed to tell them to not kill Friedrich. Shivering and sweating and very much naked, he cowered before them. "Don't," he rasped, his voice barely audible. "Don't kill him, please. Grace… we need to help him."
He felt nauseous, and staying consciousness seemed a very hard thing to do. "Grace… don't let him kill von Glower," he whispered.
Suddenly, his eyes rolled back, and he slid to the floor, resting his head on Friedrich's back. He could feel the faint heartbeat of the other werewolf, then he knew no more.
##
"Gabriel?"
"Gabriel? You have to wake up."
Gabriel's eyelids fluttered, as he slowly came to. Tiredly, he lifted his head. He was back in Schloss Ritter, lying on his bed.
"Gabriel."
He felt as if he had been driven over by a huge truck. Every muscle trembled with exhaustion, and the splitting headache had not vanished.
"Gabriel. Please."
Groaning, he turned his head. Friedrich von Glower was sitting in a chair next to his bed. A blanket was slung over his shoulders, and he looked pale and tired. But the warm smile had not left his face.
"Friedrich," Gabriel whispered, his voice hoarse. "What are you doing here?"
Friedrich sighed. "I shouldn't have left you. I'm sorry. I should have stayed with you, helping you, but I thought you would hate me. And when you didn't reply to my letter, I…"
Gabriel's head shot up, and he almost instantly regretted the quick motion. "You sent me a letter? When?"
"After I've brought you back to the Huber farm. I wanted to explain everything to you… You didn't read it?" Friedrich lifted his hand, and began to massage his forehead. Gabriel could see that his right shoulder was bandaged.
"No. I didn't get your letter. I was so angry, because you threw me out of your car, and disappeared. I wanted to talk to you about von Zell, about what he did to me. And you didn't seem to care." Sighing, Gabriel lied back down. "So you are the black wolf then?"
"I'm so sorry about Garr. I should have known better, but I just ignored the things he had done. When he bit you, I felt my heart break. You weren't ready, and I should have been the one… never mind. I got rid of his body. I told the hunting club members that he had to leave, and that I don't know where he is, or if he is coming back. I don't know if they believed me, but they couldn't stand him anyway, so maybe they are glad he's gone," Friedrich said.
Carefully, Gabriel propped himself up on his elbow. "You wanted to turn me into a werewolf? That's why you invited me to join your little club? And I thought I could trust you… but I guess one should never trust a werewolf." Gabriel laughed bitterly.
"No… Yes… It's not that easy. When I first met you, I could feel that you were different. So young. So eager. Sparkling with energy and thirsting for knowledge. Adventurous. Special. Carrying a burden. Just like I did. I thought we could become friends," Friedrich replied quietly.
Gabriel said nothing. He felt flattered and a little bit proud. On the other hand, he was still angry that Friedrich had let von Zell bite him.
"Gabriel?" Friedrich was eying him nervously.
"What do you want me to say? You knew von Zell was out there, and you didn't give a fuck. You didn't tell him to leave me alone. You just stood by and watched." Gabriel's voice had risen, and he was breathing heavily.
"I know. I tried to explain everything in my letter, but since you never got it…"
"Well, I'm right here. Tell me!"
Friedrich pulled the blanket tighter around his upper body. "Of course, I didn't want von Zell to turn you. When you told me what you had seen, I knew I had to stop him. He was a monster. He couldn't control himself. But since he was my creation, I could not do it. I needed your help. And I thought that was why you had come to the hunting club in the first place. You wanted to find the werewolf that was responsible for all those killings, and finish him off. I was kind of surprised that you weren't an experienced hunter. I admit this was my mistake."
"We all had our own little secrets," Gabriel chuckled.
"I never wanted to kill you. You have to believe me. I could have done it. You passed out before we reached the lodge. I could have woken the other members, and tell them that you killed von Zell. But I didn't."
"But you wanted to turn me into a werewolf," Gabriel stated, looking worn out.
"I was lonely, Gabriel. So lonely. I changed when I was twelve. My father had been captured by a Schattenjäger and was sentenced to death. I was alone ever since. I didn't know what was going on, but over the years I learned to live with the curse. I have to admit that I tried to change people to make them my companions, but the werewolf blood was too strong for them. Some died, others went crazy…"
"And Ludwig?" Gabriel asked.
"Ludwig was a huge mistake. He was the king, and I adored him. I couldn't deny his request to become like me. His eccentric personality couldn't handle the curse. It drove him mad."
"And yet you did turn von Zell, too," Gabriel said.
"I didn't want to be alone anymore. After Ludwig died, I retreated back into the woods. I hated myself for being a werewolf, I hated humanity. No one on this earth cared for me. No one loved me. Then the two World Wars happened, and I experienced so much pain and misery. So many people died. I didn't even have to kill anyone. I wandered through the destroyed cities and took the dead bodies with me. I learned a lot about humans. Most were scared and anxious, others were angry and aggressive. And some didn't even flinch when they had to kill someone. In fact, they did enjoy it. I realized that I wasn't the only monster around. Human beings were worse than me. They didn't follow their instincts like the wolf in me. They didn't even need a reason to hurt, torture and kill. I already told you that animals only kill to survive, but those human beings slaughtered thousands of other people. Having experienced the horrors and terrors of the wars, I traveled around the world. I was restless. I wanted to find out more about the different cultures and societies. I wanted to know, if evilness is part of human nature, or if there are some parts, where people still relied on their basic instincts. I wanted to study wild animals in the foreign countries and compare them to human behavior. I wanted to learn everything about human and animal psychology and philosophy. And then I knew what to do. I returned to Munich, and revived die Königlich Bayerische Hofjagdloge. I just had to find the right people. People, who would share my beliefs. I was careful in choosing the new members. When I met von Zell, I really thought he would be the one I had been looking for all this time. I was wrong." Friedrich said, stifling a yawn. The baron was tired, but Gabriel still wasn't satisfied.
"But I was different? And you wanted me to take away your loneliness?" Gabriel asked, his heart beating faster. Friedrich's story was fascinating. It was not his fault that he had become a werewolf. He hadn't chosen to be a werewolf. It had been his destiny, and he couldn't have changed it. No one had helped him. No one had tried to explain it to him. He had only been a kid. And he had been alone for such a long time. Yes, he had made mistakes, but was he really to blame? Besides, Friedrich had been able to touch his talisman. He could not be evil.
Friedrich's eyes lit up, and he nodded. "I hoped we could be together. I hoped you would become the companion I was longing for. Call me desperate. Call me an idiot, but I just couldn't bear it anymore. After all these years, I deserved happiness." The baron fell silent again, absently rubbing his bandaged shoulder.
"I like you," Gabriel said after a while.
A faint smile crept over Friedrich's face. "You don't hate me?"
"I saved your life, did you forget that?" Gabriel replied.
"No, of course not." Friedrich sighed. "And I haven't thanked you for that. Thank you, Gabriel. You could have ended the curse. You could have ended everything."
"I made the right decision," Gabriel blurted out. "Yes, I was angry with you, but I do understand you. To be honest, I have never been happier than I was that night at your house. By the way, I was awake, when you came into the bedroom. Do you know that I can't stand, when someone touches my hair?" He looked at Friedrich devilishly.
Friedrich's cheeks turned bright red, and now he reminded Gabriel of a little boy, who had been caught stealing cookies from a jar.
"That's the second time, I made the famous black wolf lose his composure," Gabriel giggled.
Friedrich blushed even more. "Oh shut up, Schattenjäger. I didn't want to ask too much of you, but I couldn't resist your seductive charm, either."
"Never knew I had this effect on the male species," Gabriel said, and he slowly sat up again. "But just like you, I am lonely. I came to Germany, because I am a Schattenjäger, but I felt isolated. I didn't learn the foreign language. I hardly left Schloss Ritter. I am in the need of a… true friend."
"Do you want to join me, Gabriel?" Friedrich asked, leaning forward. His hand felt for Gabriel's, and he carefully grasped it. When Gabriel didn't flinch, he squeezed it gently.
"You will teach me how to… you know, live with that werewolf thing?" Gabriel asked, letting his eyes wander to Friedrich's hand.
"Yes. I will take care of you. But now you must rest. The first transformation is always the most exhausting one." Friedrich let go off Gabriel's hand, and made himself comfortable in the chair.
"What about you? You need to lie down. Aren't you in pain?" Gabriel quietly said, his eyes drifting shut.
"Don't worry. I will be all right. Just sleep, Gabriel."
##
When Gabriel awoke sometime later, the room was dark. He blinked a few times to get himself accustomed to the lack of light. Friedrich was still sitting in the chair, sound asleep. The blanket had slipped off his shoulders, and he was shivering slightly. The baron looked so vulnerable. More like an innocent boy than that charming man he was. Gabriel's heart twisted. He seemed to like him even more. Carefully, Gabriel swung his legs off the bed, and stood up. He felt dizzy but better. The headache was gone, and he was hungry. He remembered Friedrich brushing his hand through his hair. He had felt safe. He had felt loved. Slowly, he tucked the blanket around him, and when he saw Friedrich shift, he let his finger trail over his cheek in a soothing motion. Friedrich's lips curled into a soft smile, but he didn't wake up.
"Who would have thought that I could be attracted to an ancient werewolf?" he whispered, leaning forward. His pulse was racing, and his legs felt like Jell-O. He had never done this before. But then again, he had never been bitten by an insane werewolf before, either. Running a shaky hand through his tousled hair, he let out a tiny sigh. Then he bent down, and kissed Friedrich on the forehead. His kiss was tender, his lips barely touching his skin, and yet it sent tingling sparks through Gabriel's body.
"Trust me, the old wolf can still make you feel like a lovestruck teenager," Friedrich chuckled, causing Gabriel to jump back. The back of his legs bumped against the bedframe.
"Geez, I'm sorry, Friedrich," he stammered, and now it was his time to blush violently. "I didn't mean to…"
"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Friedrich interrupted him.
"I am not ashamed. I'm just confused." Gabriel sank back down onto the bed.
Friedrich nodded. "Take your time, Gabriel. You have been through a lot lately. I won't go anywhere. I'm immortal, you know? You don't have to make a decision just yet."
Almost frustrated, Gabriel chewed on his lip. Then he said: "I've already told you that I made the right decision. You and I, we are not that different. I understand why you did what you did. It's strange, but I almost feel proud. You chose me. You wanted me. I know I can be quite an asshole. Sometimes, I'm not a very nice person. And I'm certainly not good in dealing with my feelings."
"Oh, don't worry, you have already shown me what you are feeling. Verständnis kommt uns durch die Liebe."
When Gabriel looked at him blankly, Friedrich suppressed a smile. "Love helps us to understand."
"I don't love you…" Gabriel blurted out. "I… I… I just like you."
He was surprised, Friedrich didn't look hurt. The baron was still smiling at him. "Do you want me to leave, Gabriel? Or do you want to stay with me?"
Gabriel buried his head between his hands. "I want to be with you," he mumbled.
Suddenly, he felt Friedrich sit down next to him. The werewolf laid a hand on his thigh, gently squeezing it. "This means a lot to me, Gabriel. You are the first person, who really seems to care. And I'm sorry for what happened. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you. I will help you to cope with the wild beast. And then we can live together. Would you like that?"
Still not looking at him, Gabriel whispered: "Yes."
The mattress shifted, as Friedrich moved even closer to him, wrapping his good arm around Gabriel's shoulders. "I am glad that you understand me."
"You really think it's because I have feelings for you?" Gabriel asked doubtfully.
"You would have killed me otherwise. No rational human being would have let me live. But you did. Because you listened to your heart. Not to your perky little brain," Friedrich said.
"I guess you are right." He had stiffened, when Friedrich had hugged him, but now he slowly relaxed. It felt good to be in Friedrich's arms. Sighing, he snuggled himself up against Friedrich's chest, and the other man held him tight.
Gabriel could smell his sweat and his aftershave and the antiseptic. His skin was warm against his.
Friedrich let out a quiet moan, as the moon cast its silver light through the windows, but he knew the night couldn't harm them right now.
The werewolf would not strike.
And Gabriel was safe.
~fin.