Enter My Little Pony and Hannibal Lecter
AN: Another miscellaneous crossover. Me and my friend Sir Tonikoos wrote it together after he introduced me to My Little Pony and the Hannibal movies (even though Hannibal makes a cameo appearance in Tales of the Big Five). Both in the same day, and a year ago I never expected to watch either. I had to make a few modifications to tone down the violence, though, but it's still rated T for violence.
I will introduce six new characters that we made up: Giga, a man with green hair; Dan, a wizard with white hair; Max, a demonslayer with blue hair; Eyen, Max's friend with purple spiky hair; Max's girlfriend, an unnamed girl who is in love with Max; and Brantonne, an extremely fat man who weighs five hundred tonnes. The others will be identified after the story ends.
This may appear more random than my other stories. However, if you look hard enough, you'll find a certain other author who writes even more bizarre stories on here, which contain offensive elements I try to keep my stories clean of. Not naming any names, but if you've read his stories you'll know who it is.
"Fawful hungry. Fawful need food for hungry." The mad Beanish scientist was walking around looking for food. He intended to steal candy from babies.
"Shut up Awful Fawful!" said Rainbow Dash.
"I'll eat you," said cannibalistic serial killer Hannibal Lecter.
Rainbow Dash kicked Fawful in the face with her hind hooves, twisting his head 180 degrees.
"I CANNOT DIE!" said Fawful, and his head turned back to normal. "But I'm so hungry if this is the only thing I can do the eating of, I'll eat it like mustard!" He ate his heart, which he had cut out to become immortal.
"You dolt!" said Twilight Sparkle. With his heart and body reunited, Fawful was mortal again. Twilight Sparkle stabbed her horn into Fawful's throat. Applejack kicked him hard in the stomach, and he breathed his last breath.
"Thank you," said Dimentio. "He was going to take all the power for himself and use science to dominate the world. Now I'll use magic to destroy the world."
Hannibal injected Dimentio with a drug to weaken him. He cut open his head and fed him part of his brain.
"Tastes like gay," said Dimentio, who was secretly in love with himself.
"How absurd and vile!" said Rarity. She pulled out some scissors and repeatedly stabbed Dimentio in the chest. But before he could die, his heart fell out of his chest.
"OH NO!" said Dan, the wizard. "He's invincible."
"Doesn't mean he can't feel pain!" said Pinkie Pie.
Twilight Sparkle stabbed Dimentio in the trout with her horn. The trout flopped on the ground and died of blood loss. Pinkie Pie began eating it.
"NO!" said Dimentio. "Not my trout! I can't imagine a worse hell even in the fourth ring of the ninth circle!"
"Let's destroy the things Dimentio finds most dear," said Fluttershy.
They held out a mirror.
"OH!" said Dimentio. "I'M SO CUTE!" He kissed the mirror. Then Dan's friend Giga, a swordsman who stole from evil organizations to help foil their plans, took a hammer and smashed the mirror.
"NOOOOOO! I LOVED HIM!" said Dimentio.
Vaati appeared and stabbed Dimentio with a sword.
"Stop swabbing me!" said Vaati. "Everyone knows I'm the cutest creature in the galaxy!"
Hannibal cut off Vaati's head and put him in a frying pan.
"Yay!" said Dimentio.
Applejack kicked him in the chest, which shattered his ribs.
"I SAY yay AND ONLY ME!" said Fluttershy, saying "yay" a lot quieter than the rest of her sentence. She grabbed Dimentio and threw him off a cliff, and he landed in a pit of spiders.
"HORROR!" said Dimentio.
The spiders spun him up and gnawed at him repeatedly, but were unable to kill him because he was immortal. Then Princess Flame appeared and breathed fire, incinerating all the spiders and setting Dimentio on fire.
"Wait a minute!" said Flame. "Where did my tail go?"
"My tail's missing too," said Vegeta.
Hannibal Lecter was in his kitchen eating dragon tail soup, monkey tail omelet, and Vaati head.
Meanwhile Twilight Sparkle, figuring there wasn't much left to do to torture Dimentio, stomped on his heart, killing him. Almost immediately after, he returned as a ghost.
"I'll handle this," said Flame.
"NO ME!" said Spike. He breathed fire, destroying Dimentio.
Fawful returned as a ghost, but Flicker, Flame, Blaze, Burnevere, Allfire, Griddle, Galahot, Hotbreath, Loungelot, and Spike cornered him.
"Eat lead or we'll kill you!" said Spike.
Fawful ate some lead. Wolfgang from Hey Arnold jumped over to him but he dropped the bar of lead and flew through one of his ears and out the other ear.
"Yup," said Edmund. "Bad luck."
Wolfgang hit the ground dead. All 10 dragons breathed fire at Fawful, destroying him.
"Terminated," said the Terminator.
"SHUT YOUR FRIGGEN PIEHOLE YOU LITTLE…" began Azazel, but Rarity kicked him hard in the groin.
"No one dares call a girl that!" she said.
"In that case, I'll cut my arm and bleed into Edmund's mouth," said Azazel.
"I don't like Emos," said Edmund, and he stabbed Azazel with a knife.
"You can't kill me with that," said the yellow-eyed demon, and he sliced Edmund's chest with his power and incinerated him.
"You monster!" said Dan.
Azazel grabbed the knife implanted in his chest and began pulling it out.
"Oh no you don't!" said Giga. He ran at Azazel, jumped up, and kicked the knife deeper into his chest.
"You will pay!" said Azazel.
"Twilight! NOW!" said Giga.
Twilight used her magic and turned the knife into a Demon Killing Knife.
"MAGIC!" said Azazel. "It's hacking! HACKING I TELL Y…" He fell to the ground dead before he could finish his sentence.
"In your face Azazel!" said Dan.
Suddenly Azazel appeared in the doorway. Before everyone could get over the shock, Officer Krupke, the best police officer, entered.
"Doopliss, you forgot to give me a beer!" said Krupke. "I need one before I drive to Edmonton in five minutes!"
Doopliss grabbed a beer bottle, broke it over a rock, and stabbed Krupke.
"Doopliss!" said Giga. "Why did you do that? I thought you liked Krupke!" It was common knowledge Doopliss and Krupke would hang out, pull pranks, and drink beer.
"I am not Doopliss," was the response. What was initially believed to be the shapeshifting Duplighost with the party hat turned into Metal Sonic.
"HAAAAAAAAXX!" said Dr. Hax from the G-Mod Idiot Box. He threw a monitor at Metal Sonic, knocking him off a cliff and into another pit of spiders.
"What good is that gonna do?" said Dan.
Suddenly, Broly the Legendary Super Saiyan appeared and shot an energy ball at Metal Sonic and the spider pit, blowing it up.
"IT'S BROLY!" said Dan.
"I'm not Broly," said Broly. And he turned into Doopliss.
"I thought Metal Sonic locked you in the trunk!" said Dr. Hax.
"I transformed into Broly and punched a hole in the trunk," said Doopliss.
"HAAAA…" began Hax, but Applejack kicked him into a machine where his head was in a hole and a grinder slowly moved toward it, and in a few seconds, the hack officer was no more.
"I invented that you know," said a man named Max. He only wore blue. He had blue hair.
"Max!" said Eyen, Max's purple-haired friend who only wore purple. "I have terrible news!"
"What is it?" said Max.
"Snape is a vampire!" said Max's girlfriend.
"We must kill it!" said Max.
The trio ran at Severus Snape and threw garlic at him.
"What are you doing?" said Snape. "Stop it! I hate garlic! It tastes bad!"
"HE'S AN IMMORTAL VAMPIRE!" said Max.
"Quick!" said Eyen. "Stab him with a stake!"
Max grabbed a piece of steak and began slapping Snape with it.
"You fool!" said Eyen.
Slappy and Steak from Red Faction II appeared and threw Max, Eyen, and Max's girlfriend out a window.
"Not a moment too soon!" said Snape. "We need to kill Dumbledore and avenge the death of Voldy von Moldy!"
Rainbow Dash ran in and kicked Slappy off a cliff.
"TEAM WINNING!" said Rainbow Dash. She grabbed Steak and flew to the ground at full speed, causing a huge explosion of Rainboom that destroyed Steak instantly.
"NOT STEAK!" said Snape. "He was going to be the best man at my wedding with Brantonne!"
Snape had recently discovered that he was a homosexual and was in love with the fattest man in the city of Nockton. His name was Brandon, but everyone called him Brantonne because he weighed five hundred tonnes. This was because he stole food from every single person, including children, and would sometimes even commit cannibalism.
Snape jumped on Rainbow Dash and bit her in the neck. Before he could start sucking her blood, however, Dan jumped in and stabbed Snape in the heart with a stake, killing him.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" said Brantonne in anguish.
"NO!" said Rainbow Dash. "I'm gonna turn into a vampire!"
"No you're not!" said Giga. "Snape isn't actually a vampire, but anyone getting stabbed with a stake could kill you!"
"I'll get my revenge!" said Brantonne.
"No you're not!" said Fluttershy. "SIC HIM!"
A pack of rabid dogs appeared and began mauling Brantonne.
"SAVE ME RUTO!" said Brantonne. Half the men in Nockton were infatuated with Princess Ruto of the Zoras.
"You brought this on yourself you disgrace of a fat guy!" said Ruto. She watched as Brantonne died of his injuries.
Suddenly Broly – the real one this time – appeared.
"It's about time you showed up," said Myotismon, appearing from behind a tree. "They killed Snape, and…"
Dan stabbed Myotismon in the heart with a stake, and he exploded into data and disappeared.
"You will pay!" said Broly. He hit Dan, sending him flying into the distance.
"You jerk!" said Giga. He began kicking Broly's shins.
"You are weak and useless!" said Broly. He flicked Giga, sending him flying. "And just to spite Dan, in case he survived…" He brought back Fawful as the ghost of a ghost.
"The hell you are!" said Flame. She breathed fire and incinerated Fawful before he could say anything, and then punched Broly in the stomach.
Flame was powerful, but nowhere near powerful enough to affect Broly in the slightest with any of her attacks.
"You waste my time!" said Broly. He grabbed Flame by the neck.
"Die dragon!" said Broly.
Just then Twilight Sparkle stabbed her horn into Broly.
"WTF!" said Broly.
"No one does that to a friend!" said Twilight. She began casting a spell while the horn was still inside Broly, and he began to inflate like a balloon.
"WHAT IS… HAPPENING TO MEEEE?" said Broly.
Twilight pulled her horn out of Broly and he went flying away like a balloon into the sun."
"KAKAROT!" Broly's heart burst out of his chest and he disintegrated.
Hannibal Lecter was in the middle of eating Mark Hoffman when Flame entered and grabbed him by the throat.
"I see your tail has reappeared," said Hannibal. "How did you…"
"Magic," said Flame. Twilight Sparkle had used her power to regenerate Flame's tail. She grabbed Hannibal's arm and spun him around. Hannibal brandished a meat cleaver and chopped off his own arm to escape.
"You haven't seen the last of me!" said Hannibal, and he ran into an abandoned house and began to bandage up his wounds. Then he heard someone snickering.
"Welcome!" said the voice. "I made this party especially for you!"
"WHO IS THERE?" said Hannibal.
Someone knocked him out cold. He woke up tied to a doctor's bed.
"GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" said Hannibal.
"No one can hear you scream," said the voice. "Especially what I'm about to do to you."
Pinkie Pie appeared from the shadows, holding a tray full of doctor tools.
(AN: This part was inspired by the Cupcakes fanfics)
"WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" said Hannibal.
Pinkie began the operation.
"YOU CAN'T F***ING DO THIS TO ME!" said Hannibal. "F*** YOU! NO! NO!"
She began cutting him open and taking out vital organs.
Later, Pinkie Pie held a party in dedication to everyone's victory. Dan, Giga, Flicker, Flame, the other dragons, Max, Eyen, Max's girlfriend, Vegeta, Doopliss, and all the ponies attended the party.
"Pinkie!" said Dan. "This soup is amazing!"
"Ya!" said Giga. "What's it called?
"It's a secret," said Pinkie.
"Geez," said Dan. "After Broly hit me I flew through a window and got scratched pretty bad. CHECK OUT THIS SCAR!"
THE END
Starring:
Made-up: Giga, Dan, Brantonne, Max, Eyen, Max's girlfriend
My Little Pony: Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Spike
Hannibal: Hannibal Lecter
Blazing Dragons: Flicker, Flame, Blaze, Burnevere, Loungelot, Allfire, Griddle, Hotbreath, Galahot
Harry Potter: Snape
Mario: Dimentio, Fawful, and Doopliss
West Side Story: Officer Krupke
Sonic: Metal Sonic
Dragonball Z: Broly, Vegeta
Digimon: Myotismon
The Idiot Box: Dr. Hax
Red Faction 2: Slappy and Steak (computer players)
Zelda: Princess Ruto, Vaati
Hey Arnold: Wolfgang and Edmund
Supernatural: Azazel the yellow-eyed demon
The Terminator: The Terminator
Saw: Hoffman
AN: Last word is scar. I often do that in my stories to heal the scar (lol) from the last word in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows not being scar like she said it would. Also Hannibal's words during the Cupcakes parody are a reference to the end of Saw 3D.