Not Me


My memories of Before sit in the back of my mind, perfectly categorized, in perfect condition, filed and waiting for me to draw on them.

I do, but I do it as if I am looking up the answer in a computer, because these memories don't make sense.

I know that, logically, they must be true, as much as anyone's memories are true…

And yet, I cannot bring myself to believe it. Did I really do such things?

Lying and smiling and fighting, practicing deception, feeling.

It does not make sense. It is as if I have someone else's memories sitting in the back of my head.

It is strange, disconcerting. So I ignore them.

Surely I can make my way without these remnants of who I once might-have-been.

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