Disclaimer:I don't own EA or Bioware. All characters that are cannon to the Mass Effect series are not mine, simply being used for my own nefarious purposes.

Chapter 1: Feet First Into Hell

Commander Katherine Shepard never pegged herself as a day dreamer, and yet she was not fully aware of what happened until a sudden explosion in one of the lower decks jared her back to reality.

"Dee! Status!" Shepard yelled to her combat VI.

"The Normandy is under attack by an unknown enemy. Barriers are down, engineering and the bridge both have multiple hull breaches. Electronics are overloading and causing ship-wide fires. All crew are currently evacuating." Delta, her combat VI, replied in it's deep mechanical voice.

Shepard processed all of this and quickly slapped her hardsuit on. With her hard-suit on she rushed over to the main battery. Luckily, the launcher for the ships various beacons still functioned. Shepard quickly typed in the codes to launch the Normandy's distress beacon. The rational part of her brain told her that this attack against her ship wouldn't end well no matter what she did. She shoved that thought to the back of her mind. Shepard was never one to quit even when all seemed hopeless; she still pressed on, her success in the Skyllian Blitz was proof of that.

"Shepard!" the voice of her lieutenant Kaidan Alenko called out behind her over the blaring sounds of the ship wide alarms.

"Beacon is being launched. I take it Joker's not leaving?"

"No he's not, and neither am I." Kaiden replied with duty and defiance filling his voice.

"I need you to get everyone off this boat, Alenko. I'm not letting anyone die on my watch. You get the rest of the ship cleared and get out. I'll deal with Joker."

Even though his face was hidden behind his helmet Shepard knew he was about to protest.

"I gave you an order soldier!" Shepard snapped at him. She may not have liked taking on the aura of a hard assed leader but in a combat zone it got things done.

"Aye aye Ma'am." Kaiden replied still hesitant but ran off to do as he was ordered.

Shepard rushed off behind him but headed to the port side stairs leading to the bridge in place of the escape pods to the aft of the ship. Biotic energy sprung to her command and flowed into her legs increasing her speed. In no time at all Shepard reached the bridge, any air that was left in the crew deck rushed out as the last air vented. Her mag boots automatically activated however, she had had no time for the near molasses pace that came with using mag boots. Shepard made Delta turn the magnets in the boots off freeing her of all but the faintest gravity that still clung to the ship while the ships engines tried to keep gravity active on low power. Still filled with biotic energy and the lack of much gravity on the deck made her journey to the cockpit much shorter, completing it in only a few long bounces.

"Come on Joker! We need to go!" Shepard yelled out to her pilot having reached the cockpit.

"No! I can still save her! I just…" He never got a chance to finish.

"The Normandy's lost Jeff. Wasting your life going down with her won't change that." Shepard wasn't sure what did it, the usage of Joker's real name or the concerned mothering tone her voice took on.

"Alright, help me up." He replied accepting her words for the truth they held.

The deck rocked violently as whoever or whatever was attacking them made another pass.

"AH! Watch the arm!" Joker yelled out in pain when Shepard roughly grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his chair.

Shepard had no time to apologize for the broken arm she had likely just given him, people with brittle bones were easier for her to harm than other humans with her strength and the biotic energy that still flowed through her. Shepard shoved Joker into the bridge's escape pod making sure he was secured in before she even sat down.

Shepard was suddenly thrown out of the pod, the renewed attack having caused another explosion. She cursed realizing that this wouldn't have happened had she left her mag boots active.

"Shepard!" Joker called out. She saw him trying to unstrap himself to try and help her.

"Dee! Seal and launch his pod!"

"Yes Ma'am." Delta replied. Shepard watched Joker's pod seal and launch as she asked.

Another explosion rocked the Normandy. Shepard was once again thrown about, her back hitting the bulkhead behind her. Hard. She started spinning out into the black, away for the ship and towards the planet below. She quickly used her biotics to slow then stop her spin.

"Hardsuit air seals cracked. Sealing them. Stand by."

"Air tubes have been sealed. I am sorry Commander but there is only 20 minutes of air left." For once she actually thought that Delta's voice had an amount of concern in it. She quickly shoved that thought aside. Delta was a mere VI not an AI, the Alliance never would have given her one even if it was legal to have in Council space, otherwise there would have been no reason for her to be apart of a team.

"What's the status on the rest of the crew?" Shepard asked, the lives of her crew and friends came before hers. Always.

"I am picking up all pods, all but Mr. Moreau's are full to capacity."

"Thank god." She mumbled under her breath. "Alright lets see if I can survive an orbital fall."

"I would not recommend that course of action Commander. The likelihood of you surviving entry into the planet's atmosphere is…"

"Never stopped me before." Shepard yelled and she pulled a nearby hull plate to her.

Grabbing onto the hull plate Shepard could not help but grin as she thought of the lecture she would get from Garrus next time she saw him. Once again using her biotics Shepard pushed herself and her makeshift heat shield into the planet's orbit and felt herself quickly being pulled to it.

Her plan worked, but not for long. The planet's gravity was higher than she expected and the atmosphere wreaked havoc on her electronics. By the time she discarded the hull plate it was too late to slow herself down.

Her senses however, had other things in mind for her last moments. Shepard had faced death down before and had always come out on top This time she knew there would be no escaping the cruel hand fate had dealt her. nothing compared to the dread she had felt. Shepard had grown up as a navy kid, never having to time to become "normal" and that hadn't slowed her down, only made her more determined to excel. Her mother was never around as much as either of them liked but that did nothing to stop her either. Being flooded with Ezzo radiation as a young teen had given her the biotic power she had now. Unlike others she didn't fear being labeled as a biotic, but embraced it and turned it into a strength not a weakness or a disease like so many other humans. Even the event that was traumatic to all those involved on the ground on Elysium seemingly hadn't phased her. Elysium, the main and only world to be attacked in the Skyllian Blitz was Shepard's defining moment as a soldier and the first in a long list of successful military operations. On Elysium Shepard was on leave when he Batarians, a race of four-eyed slavers, attacked. Despite the hundreds maybe even thousands of Batarians Shepard slaughtered defending the civilians of Elysium she came out of the ordeal with only a broken arm, a mild concussion and a few new scars from grazed bullets and knife wounds.

Not even facing down Saren, the rouge turian Spectre had done much to stop the machine of a woman that is Commander Shepard. Shepard's mind lingered on her most recent mission, her hunt for Saren In her mind's eye she saw glimpses of one of the happiest times of her life. Shepard saw her friend Wrex, His weathered scared face grinning with battle lust. The large older krogan that was a wealth of knowledge and advice for her.

Shepard saw her friend Tali'Zorah. Despite being one of the space nomadic quarians and thus being forced to live in an environment suit her whole life except for in the cleanest of clean rooms, Shepard and Tali had become close. To all but Shepard, Tali was shy and withdrawn, Shepard pulled Tali out of her shell and even got her to talk about mundane things. Things Shepard hadn't talked about much since her childhood, things like boys, music, bands, Boys in said bands and other things of the "girly" sort. Shepard and Tali had become as close to sisters as two could get without being actual sisters. They each leaned on each other and were the feminine influences to each other they each sought out on a ship of almost all males.

She saw her friend Ashley William, a Gunnery-Sergeant and a soldier to the core. Ash was an attractive woman with dark hair that was usually pulled up into a bun. Ash's looks were where the woman of her stopped and the soldier began, she wasn't much like any woman shepard had met. Ash was a very strongly willed person and the only part Shepard ever got to know of her was the soldier air she held when Shepard was in the room. She was the only loss her team had suffered, but it didn't make the blow hit home any less. Shepard had been forced to make a choice no one should need to make but one that all leaders were forced to. Shepard had been forced to chose between Ash and Kaidan on one of their missions while hunting Saren.

Kaidan Alenko was another of the soldiers under her command but unlike Ash he was closer to a little brother than Shepard cared to admit. In the end she was forced to chose, and it nearly destroyed her making that choice. Kaiden is one of the few biotics Shepard had seen with a knack for tech as well as combat skills and competent use of biotics.

She saw Liara's smiling face. It was rare for Shepard to see liara without a smile on her face, at first Shepard had no clue why. It wasn't until much later that Shepard realized that the young, naive asari wanted more from Shepard than to be just friends. Shepard had been stunned and blindsided. It wasn't that Liara was a woman or even that she was an asari that caught Shepard off guard. It was the total suddenness of it. Other than being perpetually happy any time Shepard was around Liara had never given any hint that Shepard could see as to her desire. Shepard had admitted that she wasn't very good that the whole "romance" thing and let Liara down gently managing to keep their friendship intact at the same time.

Shepard's mind finally rested on her closest friend Garrus Vakarian. Shepard and Garrus were two of a kind. Both were great soldiers, both had the leadership traits in them, and unfortunately both were a bit thick headed. Garrus had quickly become her best friend and most trusted ally. Towards the end of their journey Shepard had come to realize that Garrus was more to her than just her best friend, she however had no clue as to what "more" ment. Garrus is a turian and despite the bad blood between the turians and humans the two became close. Garrus always had her back both in and out of combat. In a fight Garrus saved her life dozens of times picking off enemies that had flanked her with his sniper rifle while she waded into their foes with her biotics and shotgun. During down time Garrus was her support when things went to hell, keeping her spirits up with jokes and just being there if she needed him. After Ash's death Shepard had needed him more than she'd admit to him. After She was forced to sacrifice Ash, Shepard had spent time sparring with Garrus working off stream and making a game out of it. They agreed that the loser of each round would owe the other a drink next time they had down time. They ended it completely even by the time they arrived at Ilos and the last leg of their journey.

Shepard felt her mouth turn into a smile at the memory. The smile was full of happiness at the memory, sadness and regret at the knowledge of what was to come.

"Looks like I'll owe ya Garrus." Shepard mumbled, the ground rushing up to met her.

Shepard hit the planet with enough force to create a small crater around her now mangled body. Her hardsuit shattered and absorbed much of the impact but not enough. The chest peice of her armor turned to dust as it took the brunt of the impact. Her chest was on fire as her ribs shattered upon striking the frozen ground of the felt the fragments of her ribs puncture her heart and lungs. In her last breaths she clung to the memories of Garrus before darkness swept over her. Her mind faded into darkness and death embraced her.

It wasn't the first time in his life where Garrus Vakarian felt wrong. It wasn't the usual feeling of being a "bad turian" as he had so often told his friends and shipmates on the Normandy. It wasn't the lack of duty, real responsibility or it was more a feeling of something being missing from both his life and the galaxy as a whole. He couldn't quite put his talon on what it was that was nagging at the back of his mind, but he was at least able to not dwell on it with his most recent case in C-sec. Garrus absently ran a hand over his fringe, the spiked plates that protected his head, as he tried to pin down what had been bugging him that day. The odd feeling he had was not just a nag in the back of his mind, but a feeling of something that had gotten under the hard metallic carapace that covered his leathery skin.

It had been nearly a week since he had said his temporary farewells to the friends he had made in his time aboard the ship he had come to call his home. It felt strange to admit it but Garrus felt more at home on a human ship with a mixed race crew than he had in his family home on Palaven. After his departure from the Normandy he had gone back to his old job in Citadel Security but it was still nothing like what he had become used to while hunting down Saren with Shepard.

Shepard. His mind dwelled on her and he couldn't think why in the hells he would. Shepard was his friend and comrade in arms. A bit more reckless with her own life than he liked but the two of them had made quite the team, add in the power house that was Wrex or the skills of Kaidan and they were nigh unstoppable.

There had been rumors on board the ship that there was something going on between Shepard and either Liara or Kaidan and for some reason (another thing he couldn't pin down) he was more unsettled by them than he should've been. These rumors, and subsequently his unsettlement, were dashed as on the final stretch of their mission starting with their race to Ilois Shepard had come to spar and work out stress with him in the cargo hold instead of working it off in other ways with her, what did humans call them? Suiters?

In the end other than some scrapes and bruises everyone but Ashley made it out alright. Garrus could tell that a lot of what Shepard needed to work off was her rage and grief at the loss of one of their friends and crew mates.

Garrus was forced out of dwelling on all this when he finally reached his apartment. He found that he was not alone as well. Standing outside his door leaning against the wall next to it was a tall man. Garrus' instincts cried out for him to snap up his pistol at the man until he saw who it was. Standing outside his door was non other than the human Councilor, David Anderson. Shepard's old mentor and friend.

The look on Anderson's face made Garrus' heart sink. Anderson's entire being conveyed a sense of regret and sorrow, both for what Garrus knew he was about to say and that it was even about to be said. Garrus motioned for Anderson to follow him into his apartment, not wishing this to be overheard and not trusting his voice either.

"I'm sorry I need to say this son, but you were the closest to Shepard and she spoke highly of you. I didn't want you to hear this over the news. Hell I had never thought anyone would ever need to hear this." Anderson spoke, his tone matching his entire demeanor.

Garrus nodded fearing that his voice would give away how hard this was hitting him.

"I'm sorry son. Today at 0700 hours the Normandy was attacked by an unknown vesile. Only five people did not survive the attack. Shepard was among the last to leave the ship but she is Missing In Action, and is presumed dead."

Anderson paused, to try and compose himself.

"I felt it best you hear this from mean and not from a vid."

Garrus was shocked. He had never thought it was possible for Shepard to be killed. She had seemed like the kind of person that was an ever lasting part of the galaxy, one that would be there always. Garrus felt Anderson's sympathetic hand on his shoulder before leaving him to his thoughts.

While Garrus processed all this held felt as if half his soul had been stolen from him. He didn't know how long he sat there, but by the time he come back aware of the reality he still refused to accept it was light out once more.

The week between Anderson's visit and Shepard's memorial service went by in a dull, numb blur for Garrus. Until he heard it from Joker and watched the man as he told Garrus and the others of what happened could he finally accepted that his friend was gone. Joker looked like a man that was visibly defeated and wouldn't look Garrus in the eye, proving that Joker felt it was his fault that Shepard died. Garrus knew this wasn't true after seeing how Shepard always put her crew and friends' needs and wants and even lives above her own.

The memorial to Shepard was a joke. Garrus and the others all agreed that it was just Shepard being ceremonially swept under the rug and made a hero for the Alliance to use. The Council had seen to it that Shepard would be remembered, but not for what she had truly done. The Council had the nerve to claim that Shepard had saved them from a geth attack and not the first battle in the war against the Reapers, a race of sentient machines that wanted everyone in the galaxy dead. As for the memorial, it was really just a political move for the Council to actually accept David Anderson as the first human Councilor. As for the Alliance they took Shepard's image and used it for recruiting ads. Garrus couldn't walk 10 feet without seeing some sort of propaganda with Shepard's face on it.

The memorial itself was nothing like Shepard would have wanted. it was rows upon rows of "fans" of Shepard all crying at the loss of their hero. The only ones that Garrus had paid any mind to was those that actually knew Shepard. Her friends and comrades and her mother. The memorial Shepard would have wanted, Garrus thought, was one of her friends laughing and sharing stories of her over pitches of drinks not the "service" she was given. The public memorial that was held for Shepard was an empty casket with a podium next to it for any that wanted to speak about her. Garrus thought it only fitting that, though he was given some odd looks, played the role of honor guard throughout the entire service only time he moved from his place to the left of the casket was to speak with Shepard mother. Garrus invited her to the crew's own memorial later that night which she had accepted. The crew did what they all knew Shepard would have preferred, which was to party and reminisce about Shepard's life and not her death. By the end of the night Garrus had ended up comforting Shepard's mother as she released her sorrow to the one person Shepard had trusted the most. Garrus had thought that maybe she would turn to Tali or, more likely held it in until she was alone. The elder Shepard gave Garrus a sad smile that a mother gives to a child that lost a loved one or a lover not of someone that lost a close friend. Garrus puzzled over this for quite some time but could never figure out why. The elder shepard never offered any answers so he didn't bother asking.

Roughly a year after the memorial Garrus finally lost it. He was fed up with all the red tape and garbage that was the illusion of the Citadel. Even while being apart of the training to become a Spectre, by Shepard's earlier recommendation, Garrus could no long stand to live on the place that swept his friend and it's hero under the rug like so much dust.

Garrus left the Citadel in pursuit of Omega in order to do the good he wanted but couldn't on the Citadel. Omega was lawless and thus he had free reign to do as he saw fit.

Every ounce of her being was floored with pain. This however, wasn't anything like she had felt before. This was total and absolute death pleading pain, even for someone of her background that was able to withstand weeks of torture. Her mind was flooded with this pain and she tried to beg for release back into the warm embrace of peace that she had been so rudely ripped from. Nothing of her body would obey her commands. She faintly heard frantic voices about her before her mind slipped back into the bliss that was unconsciousness.

"My god! Miranda, I think she's waking up!" She heard a masculine voice a couple meters to her right.

"Damn it! She's not ready. Give her another dose." This time it was a harsher voice, one of power, demands, and command. This voice held a mild Australian accent to it and was the voice of a woman in high power.

She tried to open her eyes and was met heavy resistance from her lids, but they slowly obeyed. She only was able to catch a glimpse of a woman. This woman, who Shepard assumed was Miranda, apparently saw her and leaned over her, whispering soothing words in a much more pleasant tone. She had no time to do anything before her mind once more faded into unconsciousness.

A/N:

Thank you for reading the first chapter in my first ME fanfic. (My first published fanfic as well)

Please let me know what you think, what I could do differently and if you have any suggestions please leave them! I'm more than happy to receive any and all criticism.

As for how this story will go it will be written and released along side my most recent play through of Mass Effect, starting in ME 2. The story will mostly be written about the time in between missions aside for some missions that I really enjoy.