To those who are reading my other DN fiction: I'm working on it, I promise. I got a bit stuck though, so I was hoping that cranking out a one-shot would help. I'll post soon.

To those who randomly found this: thanks for reading! ^-^

I do not own Death Note!

There are those moments...those moments when you want to stop and just breathe. Those moments where you can feel the edge of your smile slipping, and feel the nervous tic kicking in. I hate those moments.

I am perfect. Perfection is what I do, the name of my game. My name is Light Yagami.

There is nothing more perfect than me.

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Things could have been different if I didn't have the book. Between us, I mean. If we'd have met under normal circumstances, then it wouldn't have been so wrong. We would have just been friends, plain and simple.

But that's not how it happened. My first thoughts of you had murderous intent. Looking at someone like that can change everything. You don't start on the surface and work your way in; you dive straight for the heart. I spent every day wondering how to trick you, trap you, or kill you. When I found out who you were...the moment our eyes connected, something happened. But then you turned away, and I followed suit.

We played tennis as 'friends'. That was the first time that it ever even crossed my mind that you could possibly be better than me. Don't get too far ahead of yourself, it was only a few seconds.

I didn't like that. I didn't like you.

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The farther into the future we go, the more time we spend together. My acting was and still is flawless. Perfect, of course. I did eventually have to give up possession of the death note, but I knew that it would be temporary. Things went wrong once I lost my memory, though. I couldn't forget the way that I used to look at you. My eyes weren't full of hatred anymore. They now only had long, curious stares. You rarely caught me watching you. The handcuffs changed that.

When handcuffs were added to the equation, you began catching me more and more. Even my quick glances were observed by your dark eyes. One night when we were alone, you decided to respond to my eyes. Sliding your legs across my chest, you sat on me. You leaned down untill your face was inches from mine, and simply stared back. I blinked twice.

We stayed there that night. Neither of us dared to break the contact for fear of 'losing'. This was a challenge now. Since I am Light, I do not lose. No, I am perfect. Perfection does not lose.

But if that were true, how did you beat me?

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Our staring contests became a nightly ritual. You always won. This went on for a week. One night though, you wouldn't even look at me. I poked and I prodded, but you were set in keeping your back towards me. I was finally reduced to purely begging. You slowly lift your head. In a swift move, you jumped onto me. With your hands holding my wrists, you kissed me. I was shocked, but I didn't stop you. Instead, I rolled us over, so I could gently pull my hands free to cradle your face.

I can't honestly say how long this went on. It became our nightly ritual. We'd start by staring into each other's eyes, and then it would escalate, going farther each night. I'd fall asleep to the sounds of your moans, and wake up to the taste of your tongue in my mouth. You and kira were my world. My safe, perfect little bubble.

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Catching Kira was the best feeling of my life...until I touched the Death Note. Everything came back to me. I'm not sure how I kept a normal face through that. I could almost feel my memories twisting and becoming ugly. Every beautiful thing between us was being tainted with hatred. I was terrified, but I held out. When we got home, I took a long shower alone. I knew what I had to do.

I let myself have one more night with you. I let you have one last night where the old feelings were set aside, and only the love and lust were there. That was your last night.

That was the night when I began to lose faith in my own perfection. It was the night where I began to see it so clearly in you.

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I have no idea what to do with myself. I won. My enemy is gone. I stand over your grave, and am lost. Where do I move from here?

I visit you a lot. It used to be to gloat only over my victories, but more and more it has been long sighs mixed with memories.

You visit me as well. Every night in my dreams, we dance. We stare at each other. We kiss.

The bed seems colder than it used to.

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My name is Light Yagami. I am dying. The only person who could've ever figured that out is already dead. I killed him.

I am not perfection. I can't believe that I ever thought that I was. I have only met one person in my life that actually was the embodiment of perfection. I killed him.

I am in love with someone that is now only a ghost, or a whisper in the dark. That is my fault. I never told him that I loved him, but I did.

It has been two years since you died. I think that it's time I come find you.

I had to retype that...my computer stopped working right as I was about to save it, so I lost it. Started over from scratch. Hope you liked it.