Author's Note: So yeah, this is my first stab at writing any type of FF and actually publishing it. I'm hoping it's not complete shit, so I figured I may as well post it. The idea came from a facebook note published by facebooknotes*tumblr*com. You can find a whole bunch on there. This one just caught my eye for a new Klaine story. I haven't seen one like this done before, so I figured I should write one. I apologize if you read this and it seems like your own story. Absolutely NO plagiarism was intended. Hope you enjoy my little ditty!

P.S.: Usual disclaimer applies to any and all parts of this story. The only character I "own" is the dog!

P.P.S: Let me know if there are any mistakes or if the formatting is wonky. This hasn't been read by anyone by myself and my imaginary roommate, Brian. :)

"Blaine, honey?" Kurt called out to his boyfriend of almost a year and a half, Blaine Anderson, who was somewhere in his spacious house.

"Yes Kurt?" Blaine yelled back.

"Where are you? I have something I want to show you."

"Are you naked?" Blaine yelled with a smirk.

"You'll have to come find me and see for yourself."

Blaine rushed up the stairs and checked the second floor of the house, where Blaine's parents' room was located. No Kurt there. So he ran up the next flight of stairs to the top floor, where his room and the library were located.

"Kurt, baby, where'd you go?" Blaine called after he couldn't find Kurt in his room.

"Library." Kurt said back. Blaine went through the door in his room that connected to his library and found Kurt sitting in the big chair that Blaine just recently purchased for the room. Blaine and Kurt both loved spending time in Blaine's library. Kurt would sit for hours in their chair, which was big enough for the two of them to sit comfortably, and read fashion how-to's and Vogue and Blaine would read his books for school. The room was small, but not too small, square with big windows that face out toward the back yard. Book shelves lined the walls, the shelves organized alphabetically by author within their respective genres. Before Blaine began dating Kurt, he never had much of a system. When Kurt first saw the library, he was horrified by what he saw and begged Blaine to let him organize it, so Blaine and Kurt took a Saturday afternoon and organized the library and Kurt helped Blaine to decorate. Now the library was their favorite room in the house, besides Blaine's bedroom of course.

"Hey," Blaine said, sitting in the chair in Kurt's lap and kissing him on the cheek. "I got a little worried when I didn't find you. It's a pity you aren't naked."

"Maybe later, hon. I want to do this survey with you. I got bored while you were down working out and was flipping through some of Rachel's Facebook notes that she updates daily, and found one that I want to do with you. Sit and do it with me real quick?"

"Sure. Do you have a pen and paper?" Blaine asked, holding his hand out for the paper.

"Yep. Here ya go. Now go over to the desk so we can do them separately." Kurt said, poking Blaine in his sides to get him off of his lap.

"Finnneee." Blaine grumbled. He walked over to the desk and sat down with the list of questions that Kurt gave him to answer. They were just random questions from a note entitled "Things about my man 3" that he was sure Rachel found off of some website. For someone who was supposedly so busy, Rachel certainly had time for lots of crazy random things. Blaine started in on the questions and then, when finished, looked over to Kurt, who was looking over at him expectantly.

"Ready to switch?" Kurt asked.

Blaine giggled a little at the innuendo and then nodded.

"Oh dear lord Blaine, could you maybe try to act like a grown man instead of a 14-year-old puberty-stricken teenager?" Kurt said, rolling his eyes and handing over his questions. Blaine started reading and what he found honestly didn't surprise him in the slightest.

Does he ever sing in the bath or shower?

-All the time. It's kind of endearing.

Blaine didn't know that Kurt was actually listening to him when he showered alone, which was a rarity this summer. It made him smile that Kurt thought that something so simple and commonplace was endearing.

Would he consider you to be a good driver?
-Yes, but he prefers to drive. He's a closet control freak.

"I am not a control freak!" Blaine scoffed.

"Yes you are honey. Keep reading." Kurt replied, not looking up from Blaine's answers.

Has he ever made love in the open air?
-Yes, last week when his parents were away.

Has he ever made a fraudulent insurance claim?
-Of course not.

Is he generally a tidy person?
-No. Not at all.

Does he know your mother's maiden name?
-Yes. He visited her with me last month.

That was a game-changing day for both he and Kurt. It was the first time that Kurt had ever felt comfortable enough to take Blaine with him to the cemetery. It was Kurt's mom's birthday and Blaine wanted to leave flowers at her tombstone, just as a small gesture of gratitude for her giving Kurt life. Blaine asked Kurt if he would take the daisies (her favorite flower and Kurt's favorite) to the cemetery when he went and Kurt had asked him, timidly, if he wanted to go with him. Blaine replied that he was honored that Kurt asked him to share in such an important experience in Kurt's life.

The ride to the cemetery was quiet, Blaine driving and Kurt reflecting. Blaine heard sniffles coming from the passenger's seat and took Kurt's hand and entwined their fingers. He just let Kurt cry and when they pulled up to the site of Kurt's mother's grave, Blaine reached over and handed Kurt a handkerchief that he kept in the glove compartment and then got out to open the door for his boyfriend.

The pair, still silent as they made their way over to the tombstone hand in hand, were thinking about what this day meant. To Blaine, it was a new step in their relationship, that Kurt finally trusted him with this part of himself. To Kurt, it was the day his mom was born. It was also the day she died. Kurt's mother, Elizabeth, died in a car accident when she and Kurt were on their way home from the park from a birthday picnic. Kurt suffered a few broken bones and had a permanent scar on his neck, but his mother died on impact.

The boys approached the plot of land where Elizabeth was buried and Blaine saw the tombstone. It read:

ELIZABETH CECILIA RineHart-HUMMEL

25 JULY 1973-25 July 2002

Beloved Wife, Mother, Friend, and Daughter

"Hey Mom. Happy Birthday," Kurt said, laying down the flower bouquet that Blaine asked to bring. "The flowers are from Blaine. I told you about him. I brought him here with me so you two could meet. Between you and me, Mom, I think he was really nervous. Almost as nervous as he was meeting Dad for the first time."

Blaine smiled at this. It was true. Kurt's mom was a big part of Kurt's life, even after her death. "Hello, Mrs. Hummel. It's lovely to finally meet you." Blaine said, ever the charmer.

"I think she would have liked you, B." Kurt turned to him and said. "Anyone who could make me as happy as you do would have been a second son to her. She knew before anyone else did, even before Dad. She never treated me any different. I still played with action figures, but if I wanted a Barbie, she bought me one. She would have tea parties with me and smile the whole time. She even tried to get Dad to join us once. He didn't, but he at least watched from the recliner. After the accident, I was so lost. I don't think I really even recovered until I met you. I mean, there's still a part of me missing, but it doesn't hurt so badly anymore. Knowing that she would approve of my choice in men helps a lot too."

Blaine smiled and sat with Kurt at the cemetery until he was ready to leave, enjoying the quiet and reveling in the feeling of peace that the pair felt.

Has he ever collected stamps?
-I think he and his dad did in an attempt to bond.

Does he believe in god?
-No.

Does he always remember important dates such as anniversaries and birthdays?
-Of course. He's great about those things.

Does he watch too much TV?
-No, not really. We usually just watch it after dinner.

Does he eat too much fast food?
- Not when he's with me he doesn't. I don't let him. If he had his way, he'd be eating Taco Bell and Wendy's every night for dinner.

Is he a good lover?
-Absolutely ;)

Has he ever been in a sex shop?
-I would have to say yes, because he bought those toys that we used last night.

Does he like foreign foods?
- His stomach is like a bottomless pit and he'll pretty much eat anything, so I would have to say that he does.

Do you know exactly how much money he earns?
-Yes, and it's an obscene amount of money.

Does he try and speak a foreign language on holiday?
-We've never been anywhere foreign together, but I know he speaks some Spanish and I'm attempting to teach him French.

Does he swear too much?
-Yes, but I like it ;)

Does he waste time and money on computer games?
-Yes, but he enjoys them, so I don't really mind.

Does he find any of his friends sexy?
- Do I count?

Blaine thought to himself "Of course you do, Kurt."

Does he regularly suffer from flatulence after a meal?
-Not only after a meal. All. The. Freaking. Time!

As if to prove Kurt's point, Blaine broke wind loudly, the sound echoing off of the wooden desk chair he was sitting in.

"Really Blaine? Are you 6?" Kurt said, rolling his eyes again, looking slightly disgusted.

"I can't help it. My great-grandma always said 'Wherever you be, let your wind go free!'" Blaine replied with a smirky grin.

"We're going to kill each other if we ever live together full time."

"Nah. You love me and the sex way too much."

"No. Just the sex."

"You can't mean that." Blaine said, a little hurt.

"Of course not, sweetheart. I'm just kidding. Now, finish reading." Kurt said, blowing Blaine a kiss.

Does he pick his nose in public if he thinks nobody is looking?
-Definitely not.

Does he ever pee in the shower?
-Not when I'm with him, he doesn't. He wouldn't dare.

Does he moan?
- ;)

Does he like women with tattoos?
-He's gay. That would defeat the point.

Does he like shopping with you?
-No, but he doesn't despise it either, because I always end up buying him something in the process.

Does he help with household chores?
-Yes, because I withhold sex until they're finished.

Does he control the TV remote?
-Yes, but I let him now. He knows what I'll watch and what I won't watch.

The first time Blaine stole the remote, he thought Kurt was about to skin him alive. Blaine had put on a basketball game and Kurt HATED basketball. He didn't mind football or soccer, but he drew the line at basketball.

"NO! No, absolutely not! I refuse to watch this. Change the channel now!" Kurt commanded.

"But, Kurt, I really want to see the game. Please, just for a few minutes?" Blaine said, pulling out his old standard: the puppy dog eyes. He knew Kurt couldn't resist those. He'd been using them since the first time he ever hung out with Kurt.

"No."

"But baby, it's just a silly basketball game. How bad can it be?"

"Blaine Michael Anderson, I will not watch basketball. It's boring as all hell and completely pointless."

"Kurt, please? Only 10 minutes and then we'll turn the channel, I promise." Blaine said, turning up the intensity of his puppy dog eyes.

Kurt looked over at his boyfriend, seeing that Blaine had turned on the puppy dog eyes. "Fine. Dammit Blaine. I hate it when you do that."

"I know. Now come cuddle with me." Blaine said, opening his arms to envelope Kurt. Kurt laid back against Blaine's chest and Blaine ran his fingers through Kurt's hair, hoping to lull him to sleep so he could watch more of the game.

Does he have a good singing voice?
-It's magical.

Does he talk in his sleep?
-I've only ever heard him once. It was an…interesting…dream he was having. ;)

Does he snore?
-YES! It's ridiculous. He sounds like an old man with emphysema.

"HEY! I do not snore!" Blaine said defensively.

"Yes, Blaine darling, you do; quite loudly actually. I'm pretty sure Esmerelda has heard you and left the room because you were so loud, and you know she doesn't leave the bed when I'm over."

Esmerelda, Blaine's beagle, rarely left Blaine's side when he was home alone, but when Kurt was in the house, she begged for Kurt's attention and denied Blaine's existence. Kurt loved her though. He spoiled her rotten, even more than Blaine did.

If Esmerelda left the room because of Blaine's snoring, it had to have been absolutely unbearable.

Does he ever sniff his underwear and socks to see if they are clean?
-He'd better not. I've taught him better.

Does he ever sniff his armpits to check for body odor?
-All the time. That's honestly a daily occurrence for him. He sweats a lot, my own personal space heater.

Does he ever scratch his nether regions?
-Umm. He's a guy. Duh…

Does he ever wear pants with holes in them?
-No because either Elaine or I patch them up for him.

Has he ever driven whilst over the alcohol limit?
-No. Absolutely not. Never.

Does he enjoy watching soaps?
-He doesn't mind them when I'm watching them.

Does he continually sniff rather than use a handkerchief?

-No. He keeps handkerchiefs everywhere. He and I basically trade off colds.

Does he have a high sex drive?
-Yes. He's just as insatiable as I am.

Is he argumentative?
-Only with me.

Does he ever suffer from road rage?
-No, not really.

Does he always wash his hands after using the toilet?
-He'd better.

Does he always leave the toilet in the condition he expects to find it?
-You mean does he put the seat down? No. But he has his own bathroom, so it doesn't bother anyone.

Could he cook a roast dinner on his own?
-Yes. He's actually a wonderful cook.

Does he ever drink too much alcohol?
-Not since Scandals and Rachel Berry's House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza.

Is he grumpy in the mornings?
-No, but he's kind of like a puppy, snuffling around with his eyes half closed, running into walls until I put a cup of coffee in his hand.

Does he regularly iron his own clothes?
-Yes. Almost religiously. He may just be worse than I am. Especially with his bowties.

Is he good at DIY?
-No, but he's really good with cars.

Is he afraid of heights?
-Not that I know of.

"Yes." Blaine said aloud.

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I am afraid of heights. Well, not really of heights, but of falling from heights."

"Oh, I never knew that about you. Well it's a good thing I couldn't convince you to go to Six Flags with us. You wouldn't have enjoyed that at all."

"Probably not." Blaine laughed.

Is he a hypochondriac?
-No. But he is a big baby. He whines when he gets even the tiniest of paper cuts.

"Rude." Blaine said. "I do not whine when I get a paper cut."

"Yes you do. Just the other day, we were in Spanish and you got one and you whined at me until I kissed it and made it better. Doesn't that sound like a big baby to you?"

"No. But your kisses do have healing powers." Blaine said, getting up from his chair and leaning over the back of Kurt's chair to kiss him upside down, Spiderman style. "Can I sit with you now? My back hurts really bad from that chair." Blaine griped

"Yeah. Not a big baby, my ass." Kurt said, but granting Blaine's request to join him in the chair.

Would he or does he play an equal part in the rearing of his family?

-We haven't really talked about it, but I think that he would be a fantastic father.

Would he act in a blue movie if the price was right?
-No. Not unless I was in it too.

Would he perform a base jump for $1 million?
-A what?

Does he ever worry about his finances?
-I've never really asked him and it's never really come up in conversation.

Would he mind if his in-laws moved in with you both?
-No, I don't think he would mind too much. He and Dad get along pretty well.

Would he mind if his boss was a woman?
-I honestly don't know.

Would he like to occasionally spend a week without you?
-I don't think he would. Maybe a day or two, but not a whole week. I think it would remind him too much of when I moved back to McKinley without him.

"You're not planning on going on any vacations are you?" Blaine inquired timidly.

"No honey, why do you ask? That's a bit of a random question." Kurt replied, kissing the top of Blaine's head.

"Because I don't want to have to spend a week without you. The next year is going to be bad enough. I want to spend the entire summer with you by my side all the time." Blaine said quietly.

"Oh sweetie, I promise, this summer is going to be great. We'll be together so much that you'll be ready to get rid of me once I figure out what I'm doing in New York." Kurt answered with a chuckle. "So, relax, okay honey? Everything is going to be fine, I promise. I love you so freakin' much, you know that?" Kurt cooed to Blaine, running his fingers through Blaine's curls and kissing the top of his head again.

"I love you too Kurt, so much."

Is he compassionate and understanding if you are suffering the 'time of the month'?
-I'm a man. I don't get those.

Has he ever farted audibly in front of you?
-Yes. All the damn time.

Does he think that he has a reasonable body?
-He has the body of a Greek god, even though he doesn't think so. He is absolutely stunning and a year and a half later, he still takes my breath away when he walks into a room.

"Aww. Thanks Kurt!" Blaine said, "Just so you know, you're freaking gorgeous too. You don't think you are, but really, you don't even understand how incredibly sexy your body is." Blaine finished his sentence with a kiss into Kurt's neck.

"Sure, sure whatever baby. Keep reading. You're taking forever." Kurt said.

Has he ever used illegal drugs?
-I doubt it. Blaine isn't really into that.

"Actually babe, when I was back with the Warblers, we went to this party one night and I kinda sorta…umm…I don't really know how to put this…smoked something that I shouldn't have and…ummm….ended up pretty high and…umm…yeah…sorry 'bout that." Blaine stammered, realizing that he and Kurt had never really talked much about it.

"Well, can't say I'm shocked Blaine. I was a Warbler once too and I remember how those guys are. What did you smoke?"

"Just weed, but I can't remember if it was laced with something. That whole night is still a blur."

"Oh. Well, you haven't smoked since, have you?"

"Of course not, Kurt. Not since before I met you." Blaine replied instantaneously.

"Okay. Were you afraid that, if you told me, I'd be disappointed or something?"

"Well yeah, because I know how you are about that kind of thing." Blaine said nervously.

"Baby, as long as you're not doing it anymore, I would never hold your past against you like that." Kurt reassured Blaine.

"Just another reason why I love you." Blaine sighed, snuggling into Kurt's arms as he held him.

Is he moody?
-Sometimes. Usually when he's tired or not feeling well.

Does he know how much you weigh?
-Yes. He thinks I don't weigh enough. He constantly worries about whether I'm eating enough. I really like that he does that. It makes me feel taken care of, even if I get snarky with him about it.

Has he ever been on a blind date?
-I'm sure he has, but I don't want to know about it.

Does he consider himself generous?
-He doesn't, but he really is.

Does he consider himself competitive?
-Absolutely.

Would he consider having the snip?

-We don't have to worry about things like that. Aren't we lucky!?

Would he consider doing a free fall parachute jump for charity?

-Probably not.

Would he confront a burglar in his own home?
-Only if he was trying to hurt me or Esmerelda.

Would he agree to be hypnotized in front of an audience?
-Hmmm. Good question.

"No. No hypnosis. Ever. Just sounds too hokey for me." Blaine said.

"Noted. Keep reading." Kurt answered in reply.

Has he ever made love in a public place?
-Not yet.

If Liz Hurley offered herself to him, do you think he would accept?
-No.

Have your parents ever seen him naked?
-Well…there was that one time when we thought that Dad and Carole weren't coming home until the next day and we were cooking breakfast in the kitchen and we were naked and…yeah. Let's just say that they were scarred for life and we're required to keep our clothes on while they're in the house.

Does he consider himself romantic?
-He doesn't think he is, but he's actually quite a sappy romantic.

Does he regularly give you flowers?
-No, but he doesn't have to. He bakes, so I don't mind.

Whilst on a bus, plane or train, has he ever stared at a woman's chest so much that she's noticed?
-Not since I've known him.

Has he ever watched exotic dancers?
-Not quite sure I want to know.

"Well….there was one time when I first joined the Warblers and one of the seniors hired a stripper for our "orientation" thing. That was the party to end all parties. I'm pretty sure the Dean was called and the senior was suspended for, like, a month."

"Really?" Kurt looked at Blaine with a quizzical look.

"Yeah. It was kind of awkward. I was the only out gay kid at the time, so I was kind of just chilling there in a corner while all the other guys were dancing and having a good time. I think the girl tried to give me a lap dance, but the guys sorta pulled her away yelling 'Not your team, not your team!' It was kinda funny, I guess." Blaine said, sheepishly at first, but then his expression turned to one of discomfort.

"Did what she did bother you, or what the guys did?"

"What the guys did, I think. I was still pretty self-conscious about being gay, so even though they didn't mean for it to sound like they were teasing me, it kinda did."

"I'm sorry sweetheart. That must have really sucked. Did you ever tell them how you felt?" Kurt asked.

"Nah. I wasn't a big deal. They were drunk and stupid and I knew they didn't mean it in a bad way."

"Well, I still think you should have said something."

Blaine ignored Kurt's final comment, choosing to let the inevitable argument die instead of continuing to play the last word game.

Does he know your shoe size?
-Yes because we wear the same size in almost everything.

Does he know your bust size?

-Doesn't really apply to me, now does it?

Does he have fewer than 5 annoying habits?
-No, but I've gotten used to the habits, so they're really not as annoying anymore.

Does he know the date of your father's birthday?
-Yes. He was so sweet this year. He made Dad a cake and brought it over the night before because Dad had to be in D.C. during his birthday. We celebrated with dinner and Dad, Blaine, Finn, and I watched a basketball game together. I think that was one of the very few times I've ever watched a basketball game with my dad.

Does he always cast his vote?
-Yes. He's a big believer in doing his civic duty, even if he isn't as interested in some aspects of politics as he is in others.

Does he think he is funny?
-Depends. If you mean stupid funny, then yes. But if you mean could he be a stand-up comedian, probably not.

Does he like cheese?
-He's lactose-intolerant.

Does he have a huge appetite?
-He eats like I never feed him. It's ridiculous. Between Blaine and Finn, no one else in my house ever has any food.

Has he ever fantasized about one of his work mates?
-Haven't the foggiest.

"No. I haven't really ever fantasized about a co-worker. Unless you count." Blaine said with a wink.

"Well, do you want me to count?"

"You always count, Kurt. You always have and you always will, no matter what." Blaine said, smiling up at his boyfriend and chastely kissing him.

Does you think he is handsome?
-Handsome doesn't even begin to cover it. He is spectacularly stunning, compellingly beautiful, wonderfully magnificent, and freaking sexy all rolled into one, compact package all for me. And for no one else.

Does he regularly speed on the motorway?
-Not at all. He drives like an old woman, but insists that he drives.

Has he ever shaved other parts of his body apart from his face?
-Not since he's met me. And I hope he never does.

"What, no manscaping?" Blaine said, smirking and snickering.

"Absolutely not. I prefer you hairy." Kurt replied, biting at Blaine's neck.

"You'd better stop right now if you want me to finish reading this thing." Blaine said, moaning slightly when Kurt bit on the tendon that stuck out from his neck.

After a few moments, Kurt finally pulled off of Blaine's neck, admiring the decent-sized hickey that he left there.

"Kuurrrt. Now I have to go into work looking like this."

"Good. That way those girls will stop flirting with you and know you're mine."

"Jealousy is hot on you. Please, never ever stop that." Blaine said, now attaching his lips to the small patch of exposed skin on Kurt's chest.

"Blaine Michael, stop that and keep reading. You're almost done." Kurt said, gently pulling Blaine's head up.

Does he have a pet name for you?
-Several. Kurty, Babycakes, Sweetie, Sex Monkey, Sex God. Yeah, more than a few of them involve the word "sex" actually...

Does he ever avoid the question for a quiet life?
-If you mean "Does he avoid proposing?" No. We're waiting until we're on our own to get married.

Is he over weight?
-No. He's actually just slightly underweight.

If he won the lotto jackpot would he give some to charity?
-Of course.

Does he usually leave the loo seat up?
-Asked and answered

Does he spend more than 2 hours watching TV each night?
-Some nights yes, others, no.

Does he spend more than an hour exercising each week?
-Yes. He boxes every day for at least a half hour.

Has he had sexual relations with more than 10 different women?
-No. Just. No.

Could he be a hangman?

-Not quite sure what that is.

Can he stand the sight of blood?
-Yes. He takes care of me if I'm bleeding. I can't handle it very well.

Has he ever had an autograph book?
-Yes. He doesn't know, but I found his autograph book from his last Disney trip.

Has he ever won a competition?
-Several.

Blaine set the paper down on his lap and twisted his torso to see that Kurt was starting to doze off. Blaine craned his neck in order to reach Kurt's lips. He placed a small kiss to his boyfriend's lips, which woke Kurt up.

"Hmm! I'm awake, I swear!" Kurt said, startled out of his half-sleep.

"I'm sorry love. I didn't mean to wake you up or anything." Blaine said quietly.

"It's fine, B. Did you finish reading yet?"

"Yep. Just finished. I'm actually kind of shocked that you knew that much about me."

"Oh, well I'm sure that you knew just as much about me." Kurt replied with a chuckle. He kissed his boyfriend's head before Blaine got up to retrieve his paper from the desk.

Another Author's Note: If you enjoyed this, feel free to leave a review. If you hated it, be nice and just leave. I'm in no mood usually to deal with even more "haters." I'm a Music Education student with a minor in Theater, so my schedule is pretty freaking nuts, so I will hopefully be able to have a new chapter up within a week or 2, depending on the outcome of my auditions. Thank you so much for reading. You're all wonderful angel cupcake faces and I love you to pieces! xoxo Maggie