Disclaimer: Restlessly not mine.

A/N: This came about as a request fic for Polkera, who wanted Jounouchi/Mai, though it's also a sequel to a fic I wrote last year, entitled Sisters Under the Skin (FFN id: 3731850). That fic revolved around Téana (Anzu's past life self according to the video games) and Kisara. You don't have to have read that one to understand this one, but it might give a clearer understanding of what's going through Téana's head here. However, since she isn't the focus of this fic that's rather incidental.

Though I've altered the names, the appearances of the characters were very much influenced by a piece of fanart by SetsunaKou, which can be found at setsunakou. deviantart. com/art/Jono-x-Maya-Egyptian-Portrait-38047448

Sometimes It's Got to Hurt Before You Feel

© Scribbler, October 2008.

And I found something that was always there;
Sometimes it's got to hurt before you feel.
But now I'm strong and I won't kneel,
Except to thank who's watching over me.

-- From Always Know Where You Are by BBMak

Joun stood at the edge of camp. His arms were folded and his shoulders so stiff his neck had almost completely disappeared. The only things that moved were his hair and the hem of his clothes. His body was totally still – a stark contrast to his usual fidgetiness.

Maibe approached cautiously. "Joun?" she said, voice softer than a single grain of sand falling onto a dune. Nobody else was awake yet, but they were far enough from the tents not to be overheard even if they spoke normally. Still, Maibe somehow felt the situation demanded whispers. "Joun, speak to me."

"I went to see Otog."

Otog Strange-Eyes was the tribe seer. He alone was able to see the future, and so had been elevated to a position amongst the elders despite being only a few years older than Maibe herself. He also had an apprentice – the equally strange-eyed girl Téana – who had already told Joun what Maibe suspected Otog had now confirmed. Joun sounded flat and emotionless, which was as out of the ordinary for him as his stillness.

"What did he tell you?"

Joun said nothing for a long while. Maibe followed his gaze out across the desert, to where the dawn had smudged the horizon, turning it the colour of fresh blood and Nile mud.

They sometimes travelled along the banks of the great river when it wasn't flooded and no Egyptians drove them off. When she was only a few winters old Maibe had seen the goatherd, Joun's own father, ripped apart by hippos when he strayed too close to the edge. The shallows had churned like storm clouds, swirling brown silt and reddening water together, and it was this she thought of as she watched the horizon and waited for Joun's reply.

"He said Seren's eyesight will be completely gone by the next full moon." The fist around his spear tightened. "And her left leg will begin to fail soon after."

"Oh, Joun …" Maibe searched for words that wouldn't sound hollow and ridiculous. She could find none.

Seren was Joun's little sister, though he was protective of her as any parent. Their mother had died of sunsickness several years ago, so Seren was all the blood-kin Joun had left, but she was barren and had never been very strong. The tribe tolerated her only because life had been fruitful over the past few years, ever since her health started to fail dramatically. Even so, she was nearing the age when she would traditionally be married off to provide warriors for a new generation. Since she could make no sons she was worthless as a mother, and also as a wife. Losing her sight would be the final straw. Otog had warned that the time of plenty they'd enjoyed was coming to a close. Life as a nomad was harsh anyway, and the tribe could tolerate no burdens if it was to survive any period of scarcity. Seren would be cast out as soon as word spread.

"Otog said he tried his hardest to find some speck of greatness in her, but she has no gifts or talents like him or Téana that could save her. She has no worth," Joun said bitterly. He didn't need to add the 'except to me' onto the end of his sentence. Maibe heard it clearly enough. "I … I begged him not to tell the elders what he'd told me." Joun's voice cracked a little. Begging came as easily to him as altruism did to cats.

Maibe gently touched his arm. He flinched away. The corners of her mouth hardened and her hands clenched into fists, but she said nothing more. There was nothing to say. Otog was bound by the laws of the tribe, just as they were. Even he, their precious and renowned seer, had to defer to the elders.

"It isn't fair." The words came out unbidden. Maibe was a little surprised to find she'd said them. "It isn't fair."

Joun snorted. "Téana said the same thing when I came out of Otog's tent. She was listening outside. She told me she wished there was something she could do to change fate." He snorted again, and spat in the sand at his feet.

Téana hadn't been the same since the pale, white-haired stranger wandered into their camp several weeks ago. The elders had sent that girl away, but Maibe knew Téana had tried to convince them to let her stay. They had, of course, refused. They'd already received Otog's warning by then and had no sympathy to spare for hungry strangers, especially a foreigner, however pathetic she may have been. Since then Téana had been distant and thoughtful in ways she hadn't before, sometimes watching her tribesman with a pensive, revolted expression Maibe couldn't even begin to understand. Téana also spent a lot of time tending Seren even though there was no need. Téana had her own duties, but Seren's plight had caught her – or maybe her soft heart, made sore when she was unable to help the pale stranger, had latched onto Seren after she saw a vision of the poor girl's cruel future.

A sudden strange urgency gripped Maibe. She seized Joun's wrist. He turned at last and stared at her, not just because women weren't supposed to touch menfolk who weren't their husbands, but because of the tightness of her grasp. Neither he nor Maibe were married, though there had been talk of their union once Joun passed the Warrior Test and became a proper man. Maibe was of childbearing age, after all, and Joun promised to be a fine figure of a man once he'd finished growing into himself. Their children would be fine additions to the tribe.

"Let's leave," Maibe hissed.

"What, now?" Joun blinked at her, nonplussed.

"If we have to. Let's take Seren and leave before the elders decide all our fates for us."

"Leave the tribe?" Joun was flabbergasted. "B-but -"

"Do you want your sister to die?"

His face darkened. "Of course not."

"Then let's take her with us and get away from here."

Joun tried to pull away. "We can't leave the tribe."

"Why not?"

"Because … because we can't!" The idea was clearly unthinkable to him. "We wouldn't survive half a day in the desert alone. You know that."

"Téana would go with us. I know she would. She's as dissatisfied with life here as we are. She could lead us through the desert safely with her inner eye."

Joun became quiet. "Are you dissatisfied with life in the tribe, Maibe? I thought you were happy. You always appear happy whenever I see you."

"Appearances can be deceiving," Maibe said cryptically. She had no desire to tell Joun of how she longed for something other than motherhood and wifely duties. No woman ever wanted more than those sacred things – they were the highest accolade imaginable, after all. But Maibe did. She wanted more than that, though even she could put no name to what she wanted instead. All she knew in that pre-dawn instant was that she wouldn't find it here. "I'm leaving. Will you go with me, and bring Seren?"

Joun hesitated only a moment longer, until love for his sister won out over common sense. "Yes."

Maibe nodded. "Then we leave tomorrow morning, before the rest of the camp wakes. Bring enough food for a few days' travel. You guard the food stores, don't you?"

"And Téana?"

"Leave her to me." Maibe thought of the apprentice seer's faraway gaze, and the way she always seemed to be looking away from the camp instead of inwards at her own people. Wanderlust was only a hairsbreadth from that kind of expression. "I'll take care of Téana."

Joun looked at Maibe strangely. "Thank you," he said at last.

"Don't thank me," Maibe replied. "We may all die yet."

"Better to die protecting what you love than watching others crush it." Joun looked towards Seren's tent, leaving Maibe to study his profile in the encroaching light. Despite the iron knowledge that she didn't want any of the regular roles reserved for women, something inside her still clenched at the clean line of his nose and the determined set of his jaw. The horrible stillness of before had been replaced by fresh resolve, and it suited him much better.

"Yes," she murmured. "Much better."

Fin.

A/N: Maibe is a genuine Egyptian name for a girl. It means 'grave'. Joun, on the other hand, is a play on the name 'Jounouchi', whom Joun will eventually be reincarnated into, and Seren is based on Shizuka's dub name Serenity, the same way Téana is based on Anzu's dub name Téa.

I might carry on with this universe if inspiration strikes, actually. I like these characters and the way they're developing. Still, we'll see what reader-reaction is like first. Reviews very much appreciated, everyone!