Why Harry Potter Is Afraid Of Beavers
Summary: Well? What is the strange and unveiled reason for Harry's greatest fear?
Harry Potter faced Lord Voldemort, battered, bruised and defiant. He even smirked at Lord Voldemort, which kinda infuriated him. Oh, Lord Voldie want to get that smirk and stuff it where the sun don't shine.
Anyway, it was the last battle and, after heavy casualties on both sides, it would be determined who was the ultimate: Light or Dark. Lord Voldie was pretty sure HE was going to win. After all, what could that Potter kid do? ( . . . . there was silence in Voldie's mind as he realized the implications of that mental statement.)
Well, 'that Potter kid', was fairly certain HE was going to win - you see, he had a secret weapon. It had taken many months to acquire, a long time to learn and even longer to sort out his mind after. Harry shuddered as the past few years flashed through his mind. No, never think about that again, he told himself.
But now, Harry 'Freaking' Potter was ready.
Quickly going into a fighting stance, Harry muttered the incantation: "Slice and Dice it NEKKID!"
Lord Voldie began to shrink - he shrank to the sie of a dwarf and then somehow grew blonde hair in a second. A nose appeared on his face and so overcome with shock of having said nose that he dropped his wand, losing his magical connection. When the transfiguration completed, Voldie's face was different - it had transformed from his pale and scary face to the kinda handsome face of Gordon Ramsay, miniature style.
As Harry stared in horror at the sight in front of him, a beaver suddenly appeared. Where it came from, nobody knows, but it's a story that will be retold for many years to come. The beaver approached Voldie in a kind of innocent only animals and little children can achieve. Then, the beaver pounced on Voldie and tore him to shreds! Blood and guts were everywhere, like some crappy horror film. In the end . . . . Lord Voldie was dead.
Epilogue:
Harry Potter suffered from mental trauma after the defeat of Voldie. The beaver was never mentioned to him, for fear of stealing him of his glory and reminding him of the terrible events.
The End
This was random shit. It came from this 'breaking news' thing my friend gave to me - a thrilling tale of a porn star Gordon Ramsay mini look-a-like being found in a beaver hole. It was assumed the beaver ate him. So yeah. Random shit.