A/N: I'm not quite sure where this idea came from, but I have to say, the episode "Lucky Stiff" gave me all kinds of hope for my favorite L&O couple. I guess that's sort of where this one was born. I'm not too happy with the end, but let me know what you guys think. I love constructive criticism. And I guess you could consider this my Valentines Day contribution.
Disclaimer: I don't own it. Of course.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers tossed the fake report on Mike Cutter's desk with a frown. "Don't do it again," she said softly, shooting a scathing look in Connie Rubirosa's direction as well.
Connie pursed her lips and watched as the annoyed M.E. stalked past her to the door. She glanced back at her boss and raised her shoulders in a shrug, barely suppressing a smile. "Unless we absolutely have to."
A small smile played at the corners of Mike's mouth. "Right."
She furrowed her brow at her boss, noticing the way he shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks like he always did when he was upset about something. This case had gotten to him for some reason. And she had no idea why. "Cake?" she asked.
Mike looked up at her, a distracted look in his blue eyes. Yep, something was definitely bothering him. "In a minute."
Connie nodded once, her mind whirling. She knew that they'd experienced some rough cases lately, but Mike never really got discouraged. It wasn't in him. He pushed and pushed until he got the result he wanted – a trait she admired about him. So what was the big deal now?
Victory shouts and singing wafted through the open door of the office they shared, signaling Jack's return from Washington, D.C. "Just… save me a slice," Mike said quietly. "Go enjoy."
She gave him one last look and nodded again before she turned and walked out of the office toward the sounds of the party. This definitely wasn't like him. She thought they'd done quite well during this case, exposing Kline for the greedy jerk he was and avenging two murders. What was it about the case that got Mike so upset? Was it the trick he'd played on Rodgers? Usually antics like that didn't bother him, especially if they got the result he wanted.
Maybe all these tough cases – the attempt on his life, the obsessed professor, Carly – maybe they'd been wearing on him more than she thought.
But surely she would've noticed. Lately, he was all she could think about. And it bothered her to no end.
She knew about his attraction to her from the beginning. He'd never kept that a secret from her. But Connie was the consummate professional… at least, last year she was. Now he'd been rubbing off on her. Last year she would've never dreamed of going out for celebratory drinks with him or going to dinner with him after a case. Last year she'd ignored the comments he made about being an incredibly attractive woman (even though she'd secretly thought he was an incredibly attractive man) or about possibly having a chance with her back in high school.
And then… something changed.
Connie could pinpoint exactly when her feelings toward him changed. It was during that case with his friend/girlfriend/whatever clerking for Judge Reynolds. Something about her surreptitious glances toward him and that annoying "Hey, Mike" got to her. Mike had asked her if she was having jealousy problems, and she'd categorically denied it, giving him some smart-aleck remark to get him off her back. But the truth was she had been jealous. Very jealous.
After that she'd taken a long hard look at the way she felt about him. She could admit to herself that she was attracted to him too, but she could stamp it down well enough. Office romances didn't work.
But then that lawyer tried to shoot him in the men's bathroom of the courthouse. Connie had always heard stories of how a near-death experience could make a person reevaluate the people in his or her life, but she'd never really bought into it. Until now. Even hearing the story from Mike scared her half to death. Mike had been just about two seconds away from being taken from her forever. If it hadn't been for Lupo and Bernard's quick thinking, he would've died. And then how would she have felt? Never even giving him a chance, never telling him the way she felt about him. It would've killed her too.
Maybe it was time to surrender to the inevitable. Maybe in the name of love, she could stray from the boundaries she'd set. Hell, if this wasn't love, it was definitely the closest thing to it she'd ever felt. All those sleepless nights, that feeling in the pit of her stomach whenever he walked by, that sputtering of her heart when he leaned in close to whisper in her ear…
"Connie!"
Jack's voice rudely jerked her out of her thoughts, and the startled ADA looked up sharply. A wide grin spread across her face when she saw Jack holding a piece of chocolate cake in one hand and a glass of scotch in the other. "Hail the conquering hero!" she said exuberantly, her grin widening as he quickly crossed the room toward her.
Jack wrapped up his favorite ADA in a bear hug, taking great care not to get icing on her sweater. "God, it's good to see familiar faces and not have to plaster on fake smiles."
She chuckled as she pulled back. "So how was D.C.?"
"Oh, the usual. Wolves in sheep's clothing, con men, politicians."
Connie laughed and shook her head. It amazed her how Jack could have so much contempt for politics, and yet he was well on his way to becoming a politician. She gratefully accepted a glass of champagne from one of the secretaries milling around.
"I take it you two behaved yourselves while I was gone?"
She choked immediately on her sip of champagne, cursing her inability to lie to her boss. "Of course," she replied in between fits of coughing. Connie blushed a little at the knowing smirk that split Jack's face.
"Never mind. I don't wanna know." He glanced around the room, his bushy brows knitted together. "Where's Mike?"
"He said he was on his way." Connie glanced around too, confused. Where the hell could he have gone?
"I just walked by his office, and he wasn't in there," one of the paralegals piped up.
Connie groaned. He must've slipped out the back stairwell, avoiding the party. That really wasn't like him, especially since it was for Jack. Despite their issues in the past, Mike and Jack had come to a tentative understanding, and it wasn't like him to leave without congratulating the wizened DA. "I'm sorry, Jack," she said quietly. "I really thought he was coming."
"It's fine." Jack paused for a moment, looking at her with his intense gaze. "Is everything okay with you two?"
Connie looked at him sharply, her brown eyes narrowing. "Yeah. What's that supposed to mean?"
Jack set his plate and his glass down and folded his arms across his chest, ignoring her obviously insubordinate tone. "It means that you two have had a lot of tough cases lately. Especially Mike. It can wear on a partnership."
She looked away from him, feeling more than a little chastised. "We're fine."
"And Mike?" Jack prodded.
A sigh escaped her, and she turned toward him again. "I don't know. He hasn't really talked to me about it."
Jack looked at her for a moment before a knowing smile spread across his face. "I have a feeling he will."
She gave him a curious look, her lips forming a thin frown. What did he mean by that? Surely he couldn't see the way she felt about her boss. Jack wouldn't approve.
Although… he did have his own office trysts in his repertoire.
She pushed it to the back of her mind and sighed again. "I guess I should go hunt him down."
"Do you know where he went?"
Connie thought about it for a moment, then she set her glass down on the table next to her. "I have a pretty good idea."
*****
Mike Cutter slid his empty glass toward the bartender and sighed slowly, resting his elbows on the bar. "Fill 'er up," he said, only slurring his words a little.
The young bartender gave him a strange look, but did as he asked, sliding the glass toward the ADA. Mike brushed his fingers against the cool surface, feeling the warmth from the scotch radiate through his fingers. It seemed rather ironic to him. Just a few days ago, he'd sat with Connie in this very bar, celebrating a small victory in this war on crime.
The words he'd said echoed through his mind.
"Connie, we lose too many close ones. I learned a long time ago to celebrate my victories."
A smile quirked the corners of his mouth as he remembered her response. "Your victories?" she'd asked, an eyebrow elegantly raised at him.
"Our victories," he'd replied, a grin spreading across his face. He liked it when she sassed him back. It made their odd relationship so much more enjoyable. He could still remember the sweet scent of her perfume mingling with the smell of alcohol.
Sitting that close to her in this bar, close enough to have her perfume overpower his senses… it had been almost too much for him. Mike had resigned himself a long time ago that he had no chance with Connie. She was the consummate professional, ambitious and determined. He respected it; hell, he admired it. But then there was that look on her face when he'd introduced her to Carly, and it had given him just the teeniest bit of hope in the power of love.
But then there were cases like this. Cases where greed overcame love. Cases where obsession was disguised as love in the twisted passages of the mind. Cases where love or affection became the impetus behind all kinds of evil.
What kind of person would kill for love? Chad Kline disguised his greed in the name of love, perverting the very meaning of the word. It disgusted Mike, because behind all his world-weary cynicism, he really was a hopeless romantic.
"You all right there, pal?"
Mike looked up to see the bartender looking at him curiously as he cleaned a glass with a towel. "Yeah," he muttered, returning his gaze to the amber liquid in his glass. "Just dandy."
"So which is it?"
The EADA looked up again, his brow slightly furrowed. "Huh?"
The bartender grinned, gently setting the glass onto the counter. "In my experience, people who come here and down three scotches in less than an hour either have girl problems or work problems. So which is it?"
Mike harrumphed and ran a hand through his hair. "A little of both, I guess."
"What do you do anyway… uh…?"
"Mike," he supplied.
"Jeff," the bartender replied, sticking out his hand.
After taking it and giving it a firm shake, Mike sighed, taking a sip from his drink. He really didn't want to get into a conversation like this, but he guessed he was stuck. "I'm a prosecutor."
The bartender gave a low whistle. "Tough job."
"Something like that."
"But you like it."
"Most days."
"So what's bugging you?"
He sighed again and shook his head. "You know, I swore this job wouldn't make me cynical."
Jeff laughed and shook his head, his long dark hair falling into his face. "I could've told you that wouldn't happen."
Mike chuckled dryly and took another drink. "When you're in my line of work, you see all sorts of crap. And you think, there's something better, something higher. Something I can live my life for. And for the longest time, I thought that was love. And justice."
"Don't we all."
"But then, I saw how love can turn into something…" He searched in vain for the right word.
"Unholy?" the bartender supplied.
Mike nodded slowly. "Yeah. And justice doesn't really exist. No one ever really gets justice for what they've done." He sighed again. "It just kinda starts to wear on you after a while, you know?"
Jeff nodded too, running a hand over his handsome face. "And this girl of yours?"
He snorted into his glass. "I've pretty much given up on that one."
A knowing smile spread across the younger man's face. "Coworker, huh?"
"Is it that obvious?" Mike said with a humorless smile.
Jeff shrugged. "Only a little. She must be something pretty special."
The young man had absolutely no idea. "She's amazing," Mike murmured. "She's got the most compassionate, deep brown eyes I've ever seen. And when she's looking at you, it's like you know she's giving you her undivided attention, and she cares about you more than anything else that's going on in that moment. And she's got more brains than I've ever seen in a woman."
The bartender stared at the ADA for just a moment before responding. "You've got it bad."
Mike chuckled. "Yeah, I know. But she's also the consummate professional. Ambitious, dedicated. There's no way in hell she'd ever go for that."
Jeff glanced up at the cheerfully tinkling bell over the door, and a wide grin spread across his face. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."
Mike turned his head to see Connie standing in the doorway. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the chilly December air, and her short dark hair gently brushed against her perfect skin. He wasn't sure if it was her or the alcohol, but the room suddenly got incredibly warm.
Connie smiled softly at him as she approached the bar, not bothering to take off her coat.
"Can I get you something, Miss?" Jeff asked, his smile ever widening.
"Thanks, but I'm driving," Connie replied with a smile.
Jeff nodded and gently patted Mike's arm. "Good luck, pal."
Mike nodded his thanks as he drained the last of his scotch, slamming the glass onto the bar with a resounding clank.
"You disappeared," Connie said softly. "Jack asked about you."
He looked up at her, his blue eyes meeting her brown ones. To his surprise, he didn't see reproach or disappointment there. Just concern. And his heart skipped a beat. "I didn't feel much like celebrating."
"Could've fooled me." She gestured to the empty glass. "How many does that make?"
Mike sighed and thought for a moment. "Three, I think?"
Connie chuckled and shook her head. "You're drunk."
"Maybe." Mike thought again, his brow furrowed. "Yeah, I guess I am."
"You wanna talk about it?"
He sighed again, scratching absently at the back of his head. "Just the case."
Connie paused for a moment. "Yeah. Me too."
"I'm beginning to think that maybe love is just a fairy tale, you know? We see it go wrong so much. The affairs, the greed, the obsession. This world is so screwed up, and it's like no matter how hard we try to fix it, we can't. People do… everything in the name of love. Even kill people." He took a deep breath, exhausted from his tirade. "All in the name of love."
She paused thoughtfully for a moment, absorbing his words. Finally she looked at him, her deep brown eyes full of compassion and understanding. "Love isn't a fairy tale," she said quietly, so softly he had to strain to hear her. "Sometimes it's all we have to hope for. It's a beautiful, wonderful, powerful thing when it's true and right."
"How do you know?"
Connie smiled at him gently, and there was something else in her eyes he couldn't quite place. "C'mon. Let's get you home."
She helped him up, tossing a twenty on the bar to cover his drinks. As they made their way out the door, Mike glanced back at the bartender, who was watching them with a huge smile on his face. In his alcohol-addled brain, he didn't quite get what the smile was for. But it helped.
That and Connie's arm around his waist. He slid his arm around her as well, relishing the way her body fit into his. It was perfect.
Connie led him outside into the freezing air. Clouds gathered in the distance, possibly bringing snow to the city. He breathed out once, steam forming in the air and dissipating quickly. "You never answered my question," he said softly, tilting his head down to look at the shorter woman.
She looked up at him with a smile and stopped suddenly, her hand gripping the fabric of his coat to stop him too. "Because without love, life would be absolutely and incredibly worthless. And when I see you, I know that's impossible."
He stared at her, stunned. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? His heart jumped, and he could've sworn he'd heard her right, even through the alcohol.
And now she was moving even closer to him, her hand gently cupping his face. He shivered at the touch. Surely it was the alcohol. Surely he was imagining things. But then again, he wasn't that drunk. And he had a feeling that he would definitely remember this in the morning.
Connie brushed her lips lightly against his, the hand on his coat sliding inside and wrapping around his waist. She slowly slid the other hand behind his neck, pulling him down to her and entangling her fingers in his hair. Mike breathed in the intoxicating sense of her perfume – the same perfume she'd worn at the bar the night before, and he wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to his chest. As she deepened the kiss, he could feel her heart beat in sync with his, quickening as their tongues melded together.
Oh yeah. He would definitely remember this in the morning.
Finally, reluctantly, they broke apart, breathless. Her cheeks were flushed from more than just the cold, and she stayed in his embrace. A soft smile touched her kiss-swollen lips, and Mike struggled to catch his breath. She'd never looked more beautiful.
Maybe with all the things wrong in the world, some things were worth fighting for. Especially in the name of love.