First do no harm
He sat on the cold tiled floor of his bathroom. Breathing heavily from the effort. It was the body's natural reaction. The little he had eaten that day now decorated the white porcelain of the toilet. It was late; he didn't know what the time was. He didn't care. Death, he had seen many. Some, more peaceful than others, but the outcome was always the same. Always ugly. The one thing he could not cure.
The oath he had taken, a long time ago had never really made much sense to him. 'First do no harm.' Most, if not all of the treatments he knew did harm to the patient, even the examinations caused pain, which in turn causes harm to the patient. He had bent so many rules in his time, but this was no curve or deviation. This was one line he thought he would never cross. Death, he had caused a persons death. Indirectly but it was his fault. He had told him how and what to do, and then left.
Was he Right? He had saved his son, the alcoholic. Even alcoholics have a right to life, but to cause his father's death to give him that. Cause death to give life, he wasn't religious but he knew it wasn't his call. His body shook as it heaved again. Yellow bile splashed into the sides of the toilet. He tried to rid the image of the coma guy hanging from the ceiling in the hotel room from his mind. Banish the sound of the stool hitting the floor as they sat outside and waited, counting the minutes until he would be dead.
Nothing was working. He reached up and flushed the acidic liquid away. Coma guy had wanted to die, he reminded himself, he wanted to die. You didn't ask him, he suggested it. The image remained burned to the back of his mind. He surrendered one more haunting image that would follow him forever, the faces he would never forget. He wanted to wash the bitter taste from his mouth but he was too exhausted to get up. He sank back against the wall, closed his eyes praying for daylight too wash away his doubt. One question there was no answer to.