THE YEAR IS 189X!
The name is John Fucking Watson!
On this day I manage to break my own pull up record, 360 over the pussy 290! While that sexy teaser Sherlock is using his fabulous mind on some wired shit his been working on.
Good my muscular bisexual body rages with sexual tension when I look at him! I know his he wants none of my ass but god help me I want a piece of his! But thin I hear the door open and comes in Mrs. Hudson, that cranky old bitch!
"Hay asshole! You got a cop looking for ya!" She yells at MY Sherlock!
"Please let him in thin." Sherlock said nice and come like.
Every little gets on Sherlock's nerves. But let me tell you I was tempted to smack that bitch around a few times, land lady or not. But she steps aside and let one of our bros in blue come in.
"Sherlock, Watson my bros how are doing this glorious day!" It was Smith Fuck Yeah Robinson! He was only on the force for about a year at this point but he proved himself quite the bro! Also a had hard body much like my that was giving me some seriously dark and naughty thoughts, but sadly he was straight.
"Bro! How you been!" I side as I walk and give him the THE BRO hug.
"Every will bro, hay you been lifting?"
"You can bit your sweet little ass I have been! I just bet my own pull up record!"
"Awesome bro!"
"Excuse me" Sherlock side interrupting us "I imagine you have a reason for coming here."
"It better be pay because this dip shit is three months behind!" Mrs. Hudson yelled before finally leaving us.
New life goal find a way to kill that ratty old bitch in way not even Sherlock couldn't figure it out. By god help me as long as I live no one talks to him like that!
"Right, you both remember Professor James Moriarty?"
"Remember?! How could I forget!" I yelled out. While I have sexual manly love for Sherlock I have nothing but unstoppable fury force of rage every time I think of that little shit! "That little asshole was harassing us for months after we bust up his dame network!"
"Yes, Suffice to say Morirarty has proven himself a massive sore loser. Specially when send us letters full of crude drawings." Sherlock add in.
Sherlock left out that most of the letters were full of either dick pictures or insults written so poorly that a child could do better.
"Right, will you bros will happy to know that thanks to Sherlock help we manage to raid the man's last safe house."
"Glad to the boys in blue can learn a new trick." Sherlock side with a big old shit eating look on his face.
"Sherlock!" I side.
I know I love the man but god dame he be quite the ass and the BRO CODE says you don't be an ass to your fallow bro in less he gives you a good reason to be one.
"It's all right." Smith continued "Anyways we manage to capture the few agents he had left but the man himself got away."
Sherlock had a hard look on his face do to the fact he saw Moriarty as one of his most dangerous opponents. Me? I just crack my knuckles and look forward to knocking that little shit's teeth out.
"But we did find this and sadly can't heads or tails of it." Smith side giving Sherlock a folded piece of paper that sure as hell seen better days.
Still the great detective grab it and open it. Showing the two of us the following massage, Leave me the hell alone! With a small horrible drawing of the man himself in the counter, giving us the bird.
I just roll my eyes at it while my friend/crash did his thing and look every detail, when I say every detail I really mean EVERY,LAST,DETAIL. God it was mean reason I didn't sent nor receive any packages here at Baker street. For it was both amazing and terrifying what he could find out with a sheet of paper.
" Watson" Sherlock turn to me "I thank it's high time we ended this little game with Moriarty once and for all."
I shook my head to say yes while my body is was getting pumped with a cocktail of my rage, bloodlust, and EVEN MORE RAGE!
SOME TIME LATER!
By following the clues that Sherlock had found on the letter we arrived at shit hole of a mansion in the middle of bum f Egypt around say midnight in our sweet ride I like to call the Pussy Destroyer! But Sherlock like to call the Black Horse Special the name his brother Mycroft give it.
I will say this about Mycroft he may be fat son of bitch but he was a will connected fat of a bitch for the Black Horse/Pussy Destroyer had every modern convenience at the time including cup holders. Now if it had a golden stripper pole in side I be a happy man.
But none the less we both exit the carriage and told the driver to head off and not come back for two hours. Smith and the bros in blue were told to stay back and wait for our driver to tell them that we either seceded or failed in our mission. In case the whole thing was a trap.
It make me happy for it give me plenty of time for me and incredibly strong hands of my Herculean body to bust some heads.
But instead of going in gunz a blazing like it was 4th of July in this bitch as I hoping for Sherlock said it would be better to sneak in I reluctantly agreed. What suck was the fact he force me to bring only my trusty revolver in stead of the hundred other guns I brought along.
Really man I had real itchy trigger finger for trying out my new Winchester 189X Model 4000. A lever action machine-gun that could only have been the product of both a incredible genius and twisted mad man.
Still we sneak all the way up the main building through what was one time a beautiful front yard that now like the rest of the place a massive shit hole. Remind me all too will how my last relationship want down.
But when got to edge of the front yard and on to to front porch we got a bad even when we got to the rusty ass front doors completed with broken glass the mansion there was no sign of activity.
Still we decided I should go in the front and Sherlock go in the back, it was more like I decided on this. For I had no fear of getting the living shit either beat, stab, or shot out of me for I know dame will my glorious body could take it. I even the scars to prove it. Besides I couldn't stand Sherlock getting hurt on my watch.
So I want in with my trusty and golden plated Smith&West Colt 188X revolver in hand. This bad boy was another gift from Mycroft after I beaded him over a bet we had going on at shooting range. Inside the mansion was a horrible mix smell of decay, animal feces, and pure regret. Ah the sweet smells of my old childhood home.
The large room I was in was so ragged and there was so many cracks in the floor and ceiling I really thought the old place was going to fall down on me. That or some how I got sent back in time to my old college, now that college was a joke.
Specially given that place look whole lot like my side college front entrance with that massive stare case that seem to almost touch the ceiling and two long side rails on either side. All supported by massive white columns that were once white but now we're mostly a sickly green. The only thing was missing was a desk in front of the stare case with old woman who had a twitchy eye.
Still I keep my guard up and walk forward like the boss know I was. Next thing I noticed was a flash of light on the top right side of the room. Over on the railing.
Not taking any chances I duck behind the closest column and moment later I hard a loud gun shot ring out and something hard hitting against the column.
"Ed! You blasted idiot you ruin it!" I hard a voice yelled out.
"But Pa it wasn't my fault!" I hard another voice this one I wasn't sure of.
"Open fire!"
Thin I had to guess was another five or so other guns opening fire on me. Thankfully all of there shots were hitting the column, but a few shots did get close to there mark. Thankfully my time in army teach me how to keep a cool head in such a spot.
But while I focus on were the shooters were I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone running up to me. I only had enough time to notice the person was bold before fist came flying my way.
A fist I had to say was at least twice the size of my own and was so powerful that it seem to knock the column in half. I manage to get be hind the person and with gun in hand I got a good look at, will I use the term 'person' but I think 'thing' would have been a better description.
Because I think either God was really drunk or Satan had a little too much fun beating this poor soul with the ugly stick because I saw what look like what happened if you melted a man's face with a blow torch.
Didn't not help that this guy's body was a total train wreck with the life side of his body too large while the other half was too small for him or it to walk right.
But yet it move with such strength it's miss up shape body did not slow it down.
"Yoll bab mam!" It side as it give another punch in my direction.
Problem being that I so distracted by it's ugly face I didn't react as fast as I should have and all I could do was to try guard his attack by blocking. Of course the punch dame near broke my arms and I lost the grip on my gun.
Next thing I know I was flying across the room and right through the front doors. Again my incredible body serve me will as all I got was my clothes getting cut up.
But with cat like reflexes I manage to duck and roll back on my feet, because that's how awesome I am! But I was kicking my self for losing my gun. Thin the freak show came walking towards me.
This time I was ready for it's ugly mug and while I will say he did put up a fight he didn't last long. After all I'm John Fucking Watson! It sure as Hell going to take more thin some living pile of broken flesh to stop me! But yet I fleet little sorry for the guy.
Still the good little soldier I am I rushed back in side, realizing too late that maybe I should have look first or remember that this guy was not alone. As I walk in on a dozen or guys in the room standing there at the front door.
Some of them were better looking while others were worst off the guy I just fought. But one did not be Sherlock to notice something was off about this guys. Still they turn there guns on me and I really feel my blood lust kick in.
I won't bore you with details for I don't remember much except all of the screaming and the sweet glorious shiny blood flying all over the place.
When I came to I noticed I was covered in thick layer of crimson and the walls plus floor was covered in blood. With me feel like I just spend the last 8 hours making hot rough monkey love.
I noticed body parts all over the place with only one body still intact and being the only one I recognize. Drake Edward, the head of the Edward crime family.
To make a long story short the Edwards were a bunch inbred woods men from the American south who left the good old usa after there civil war. Drake being being there brother/ father /son/ uncle all in one and amongst them one of the few who look human. He die by me ripping his heart out.
Showing that Moriarty was really getting desperate if he hired these guys for protection.
"Like I side asshole leave me alone!" And speak of the devil here he comes a top of stare case. "Ok Drake get your county lo-OH SHIT NOT YOU!"
Not going to lie I wish I had a camera on me so I could for the rest of life enjoy that scared shit-less look on Moriarty face. But sadly the little bastard ran so fast on the right railing I probably won't get a clear picture.
But while I did my best to chase him I was really feeling drain after my blood lust. But when I got to the top of the stare case Sherlock nearly ran in to me.
Thankfully he only had a few cuts here and there but look just about winded as I did.
"Watson, good we need to-OH MY GOODNESS! Sherlock said as noticed both the blood on me and horrible mess at the front door. "Who's Blood is that?"
"Will to be honest with you I think some of it is mine and the rest belonging to jackasses down there."
"Are you hurt?"
"Not sure."
"Right, l-let's get Moriarty." Sherlock side as he led us.
Sherlock all ways had a rather weird relationship with death. I mean he is sort of a person who's not afraid to beg up a body do some wacky experiments on it and having the balls to tell the family/ friends of the poor devil he did it in the name of solving the case.
But when it comes down to killing some buddy he can't bring himself to do it, not even in defense of himself. But I like to think more thin I have the right to defend my self at any cost, plus I might have did humanity a favor by killing the Edwards.
But none the less I fallow Sherlock deeper in to the mansion. Boy let me tell you I thought the smells were bad in the last room but here in the hall the smells were a thousand times worse. The house it self at this side was nothing more thin a massive cluster fuck of broken floors,walls, and sheer darkness.
I don't really know how long we ran around in that twisted maze. Seriously that dame place was massive death trap! I dame near got my self killed on a few broken floor boards.
But eventually we manage to get the only doors in the right side of mansion that didn't looked like it was damage all that much. I want to grab my revolver only to both find and remember that I left it down on the first floor.
"Not a word Sherlock! " I yelled at him.
Sherlock gust smile at that, for the man who usually got 50 different guns for once came in unarmed was ironic thing and ironic was the sort of humor he like. Still when he found the doors lock it fall on my shoulders to open it. With one massive kick I got the doors to fly open showing what was once a office and there a cross the room was Moriarty himself trying to get a jetpack on his back.
"Why you two ruin every thing!" He side as draw out a pistol and open fire on us.
Thankfully both of us found some cover behind the old furniture in the room.
I was surprise that they were just strong enough to stop the bullets. Then I heard of the familiar clicking sound of a empty gun.
"All I wanted to do was run a five star hotel! With a big pool, a sauna, and high class work ethic! But no you had to ruin it Sherlock! You ruin a man's dream for your ego!"
"More like a massive underground hide out for the worst criminals of our age!" Sherlock argued.
"Hay man we all have to make sacrifices to achieve our dreams and besides I don't know who they were. I offered my services and they paid for it no questions ask, like any other business!"
Of course we heard all of this before and to be fair he wasn't wrong per say. After all I didn't start out the glorious piece of man meat I am to day. But did not excuse him for the shit he pulled to get his 'Hotel' including black mail, arson, and assassinations.
But when I look over my left I see Sherlock standing behind a book case. I noticed the cold look on his handsome face. It was look he had when he was thinking of a solution or had already had one in mind. He turn his eyes towards my and I know in my gut it he had a plan.
"Oh really how about you say to our faces!" Sherlock said as I watch left him leave his spot.
I wasn't sure to do but if Sherlock was sure of his plan who was I to question it?
But as was about to leave my spot Sherlock led out a scream. A little known fact when Sherlock screams it sounds like a little girl who just found candy.
I would have laugh in other circumstance but when I turn to Moriarty I notice that in fact he another jet pack laying on the ground next to him while another was on his back. The horrifying part was that it had a mass hose was coming off the back and in to a pipe of some sort.
"Really Sherlock you didn't think I wouldn't come prepared? Now both of you can brun in the fires of hell and my undying hatred!"
Moriarty side as let loose a massive blast of fire like a dragon! I manage to jump on top of Sherlock and shield him from the fire, but I sure as hell felt the flames on my back. It didn't take a genius to realize the fire didn't have go far nor take very long for the old mansion to consume by it.
I ripe off my jacket and before he could resist I grab Sherlock and throw him over my shoulder not giving faintest of fucks if Moriarty survive. Thankfully after arguing with me for about five minutes Sherlock eventually told me how to get out of the mansion apparently by memorizing the same way we came in.
By the time we got the front porch the upper half of the place covered by flames with massive black smoke floating in the night sky. But on the porch I could see our bros in blue running up towards us and with Smith in the front ask.
"What the fuck happened?"
TWO DAYS LATER!
"You know brother I'm starting to run out of favors I can ask for." Mycroft said as he sit at his brother's favorite chair all the while it made cracking noises. I fear the poor thing was going to be crush by man's fat ass.
Sherlock just sit there in the chair I usually sit looking like much a little kid who just got called in the principal's office. With me standing behind him mostly due to brun scars on my back not fully healed yet.
"But more troubling it seem that James Moriarty had escaped, again."
"What? How!" Sherlock yelled "There shouldn't have been anyway for him to escape! Not after I temper with the one jet back and he using the other as a home made flamethrower!"
"Will while I covering both your ass's from the charges you two were facing for both arson and murder I manage to get a copy of a field report. It side the bodies of the deceased members of the Edward family were recovered but the body of one was not."
"It could've been buried under the rubble or brun to ash."
"That's what I thought so I sent two of my best agents to look over the crime scene. They didn't find it either but did find the two jet packs. I will say dear brother it was not a bad idea when it came using those chemicals of yours. But you made a rather rookie mistake."
Sherlock as this point look like he was going to smack his older brother. For I like I said there was every little that got on his nerves but the one thing that did was his brother. For as Sherlock he said once was that his brother all ways take any and every chance to criticize him.
Why? Will I ask Mycroft that once it was to make his brother better nor it was out of spite. Apparently he graduated from the school of tough love. Much like my own father.
But to let the readers know and hopefully keep this short that during our time at the mansion Sherlock had snuck in to the office and saw one of the jet packs laying next to the window. So thinking he could pull a fast one on his old enemy he pull out a little side project of his.
He calls it Dragon Blood, a special blend of chemicals that when put against a flame it exorbitant the thermal energy. But he failed to check the room for the other jet pack. With his task done he left the office he saw Moriarty and give chance. Not giving time for his self enough time to memorize the lay out of the mansion.
"But none the less I have some rather important business to intend to." Mycroft said as he try to get out of the chair. Only problem being that it was stuck against his ass.
After hour or so us trying we manage to pull the dame off of him. He thin said thank you and was about to leave when I ask.
"About that revolver?"
"Oh that, don't worry Watson it's fine. But I'm afraid you wanted back you have to bet me first."
I just smile at that guessing that the guy really like our bets. After he left Sherlock fix his chair and want back to work about another project of his.
Me I just want back to work on my body.
The end.