DISCLAIMER: If I owned Bleach I'd be able to hire a professional to sperm-jack Gackt.
I came up with this the day after drinking, not while drinking, or while under the effects of drinking. If I had come up with it while drunk or getting there, I wouldn't have written it. I'm a good girl who follows the rules. Kinda.
KON AND ICHIGO'S DRUNKEN ADVENTURE
TIME: 12:34
STATUS: Sober
Ichigo Kurosaki returns from Soul Society, regains control of his body, and is greeted by the Kurosaki family. After getting rid of said family, swallows pill containing mod soul, hereafter referred to as "Kon". Shows Kon bottle of sake given to him by Renji Abarai. Drinking commences.
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TIME: 13:07
STATUS: Sober
The sake bottle is emptied. Ichigo takes advantage of his Soul Reaper-ness to rob a local convenience store. Leaves undetected with several bottles of a type of malt liquor known to some as "soda beer". Drinking resumes.
--
TIME: 16:52
STATUS: Buzzed.
Ichigo and Kon finish soda beers. Ichigo returns to convenience store; steals more liquor-type beverages. Returns to Kurosaki Clinic with several more bottles soda beer, vodka, gin; various flavors Pocari. Drinking resumes.
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TIME: 19:00
Status: Drunk
Yuzu Kurosaki comes to tell Ichigo that it is time for dinner. Mistakes Kon for Ichigo. Realizes Kon has been drinking. Kon sticks Yuzu in closet; barricades door.
--
TIME: 20:37
STATUS: Drunk
Kon sits slumped at desk. Ichigo lies on bed.
Kon: Is Yuzu still in the closet?
Ichigo: No, but Ishida is.
Kon: Buh-zing.
--
TIME: 22:42
STATUS: Very Drunk.
Ichigo sits at desk. Kon sits on bed.
Kon: Waaaah! Rukia! Come home!
Ichigo: Waaaah! Rukia! Bring Yuzu's clothes back!
--
TIME: 00:43
STATUS: Very, very drunk.
Kon and Ichigo lie on floor.
Kon: Is Yuzu still in the closet?
Ichigo: Who's Yuzu?
--
TIME: 02:32
STATUS: Passed out.
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There may or may not be a follow-up chapter of this. I haven't decided yet.
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Reviewers get booze. Unless they're underage- then they get sodey pop.