Salvation in a Hug
Hunter was never one to like hugs; more than a small part of him said that was because no one ever hugged him. When he was a kid his mother rarely embraced him or had much contact at all as she preferred to let housemaids and babysitters watch all her children. The only time his parents took the time to hug him was to show off for the cameras.
When he was younger he and Frankie used to hug and cuddle all the time. As they got older, this faded into obscurity reserved only for the most awful of days.
Miles was different. As long as he could remember, his older brother was always just the mean older sibling who ignored him on the best of days and mocked him on his worst. That all changed when Miles decided to take over as the male role model for him - and sealed it with a hug. It was the first time a hug saved him.
He was saved a second time by a hug - also by Miles. It was a month ago that Miles saved him from killing himself.
Hunter always knew he was different. How many people preferred to be alone all the time? Only a cute face and some modicum of affection could drag him out of his fantasy world. Becky had been the first which was his introduction to sexual attraction outside porn. Arlene was the second, though there was something 'cuter' about what they had in a way his online tryst with Becky could never compare. Yael had been the most recent and the most significant. She understood him in a way no one had before.
It really sucked he had turned her against him.
Maybe, just maybe, that wasn't so bad. Normal people lose friends all the time. But Hunter wasn't normal. When he felt wronged, he didn't leave it at that. When he felt wronged, he had to hurt someone.
That's how he ended up at his school dance with a gun. Everything was so clear when he was making his list and checking it twice. Everything was so clear when he had stolen away into his father's study and found the gun he knew to be hidden there. Everything was so clear as he entered the school with his hand on the icy metal of the gun.
Everything changed when he saw Yael. Her words from earlier that day haunted him. "I just want to know if my best friend is a sociopath." Best friend. Sociopath. He wasn't sure which word hurt more. The thing he lost or the thing he was.
He felt sick to his stomach at the memory of being locked in the Student Council offices surrounded by people but more alone than ever. Tristan. Zig. He just wanted to shoot their fucking brains out. But he was too afraid. Not of killing so much, but of what the killing would mean. It would mean he was too far gone to save.
He was ready to end it all and kill someone that night. And when push came to shove, he realized that he was the only one who deserved to die. He was an awful person. Beyond redemption. Not worthy of being anyone's best friend. A monster.
Miles drove him home from school that night. Miles knew. Miles knew somehow the monster that he was. He had no one. Not even his big brother would love him enough to help him.
When he got home that night of the Snowball he rushed to his room to be alone. The door slammed behind him and he slipped his hand into the bag to pull out the gun. Salvation in death; better his than someone else's. He was nothing but a monster.
But Miles knew. Somehow, Miles knew. "Put the gun down, Hunter," his older brother said. And he did.
And then he collapsed into Miles arms and cried. "You can't tell anyone," a small part of him begged.
Because only the two of them could think he wasn't a monster. Only the two of them could believe Hunter was worth saving.
That's when Hunter learned that he liked hugs. A hug had been his salvation.
Fun fact: this started as a Hunter/Zig crack one-shot, but the first scene was so potent that I kept it as this.
I will probably continue that story as a sequel to this at some point.