Disclaimer: No, I do not own them, although I would love to. Can you imagine all the possibilities?

A/N: Written shortly after 8th season without any information about 9th (except O'Neill's promotion and Vala and Mitchell´s presence).

Also huge thanks to Beka Alcott for beta-reading!

Samantha slowly closed the door and lifted the keys to lock it. She heard a familiar sound. Her body instinctively shook a little. Sam briefly breathed out and bent down, taking one big bag in each hand and turning around. Then she raised her chin, closed her eyes for a short moment and immediately felt something cold falling on her face. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up to the heavens. It was snowing.

A little smile showed on her lips, but she just shook her head and moved to the car. So many things happened last week and she hardly believed it was all true. But she'd known for a long time, that life and death go hand in hand and they don't get to choose who will be allowed to live and who won't.

Sam parked her car in front of Cheyenne mountain complex and turned around to reach her bag on the backseat. Her gaze stopped on an empty space right next to her car. ´His car used to be parked here… always.´

Lost in her thoughts she handed her ID to the soldiers and nodded to their greetings. She knew everything was going to change again and she also knew some other things must be changed. Yet she had her doubts and a little desperation. And there was also something else. Something, which she knew, but refused to admit. It was anger, hurt and desire for revenge. ´I'll never accept what happened. Ever. ´

She went into the locker room still deeply lost in her thoughts, but didn't wait too long to be brought back to reality; she crashed into Daniel and managed to knock a huge pile of papers from his hands.

"Oh god! Daniel, I'm so sorry!" Sam sighed and knelt down next to him. Daniel stared at her with a hurt expression.

"You weren't at the memorial, Sam." His voice seemed to her so... blaming.

"I know." She whispered. "I couldn't... I just wasn't able."

"It wasn't your fault, Sam," Daniel immediately reacted and put his hand on her shoulder. Sam raised her eyes to him, deeply inhaled and turned away eventually.

"I shouldn't have allowed this, Daniel. It was my mistake. He had absolutely no experience with this."

"Have you considered a vacation yet, Sam?" Daniel suddenly looked Sam in her face and she knew that he was able to see right through her. "You never could hide something from me, Sam, I can clearly see how exhausted you are."

"There are things, Daniel, which you can't just sleep off. " Sam reached up for several papers, which had flown under some locker and looked at them.

When Sam jumped up from the ground and ran straight to the bathroom, he was completely confused at first. Before he managed to do or say anything, one paper landed in front of him. Feeling sick, Daniel closed his eyes and crumpled it. After that he silently cursed and headed after Samantha.

"You loved her."

"Question or statement?"

Sam lightly smiled and rested her chin on her knee, "Question."

"I'm not sure. I felt something. I was attracted to her, but at the same time..."

"She was not Sha're."

"Exactly." Daniel shortly paused and blinked at her. He almost thought for a second that he saw tears. But the room was dark and they were sitting on the ground, leaning against lockers, so he couldn't be sure. Daniel stretched his legs. "How's Cassandra?"

"It's still difficult. You know, Daniel, sometimes I feel like I'll never be able to replace Janet in Cassandra's life."

"Sam, neither Cassandra nor anybody else wants you to replace Janet."

"Why does it still hurt so much?" Sam suddenly looked at him and he heard anxiety in her voice.

"Sam," Daniel sighed and immediately hugged her. "Maybe because otherwise we wouldn't enjoy happy moments."

"I lost everything, Daniel. At first you," she briefly smiled, "then Janet, my Dad..." Her voice died, she bit her lip. "Eventually he left too, without a single word." Daniel nodded, there was no need to say his name.

"Didn't you two talk about this?"

"About what?" Sam helplessly shook her head. "There wasn't the right opportunity, time... not even place. Now it's too late."

"Sam, I know this is none of my business, but for some things it's never too late."

"This is a lost cause, Daniel. I didn't handle it. I handled nothing. He had barely left..." She took a deep breath. "He had barely left, stopped keeping eye on us, on me, and now I have killed two members of my team. I lost them and I lost his faith in me. Sometimes even hope is gone."

Sam straightened herself, raised her eyes to Daniel, but she didn't see what she was expecting.

"Would you excuse us for a moment?" His quiet voice resounded in the room. All attendants nodded in an agreement. He pointed to General Landry's office. She followed him in silence. When the door closed behind them, he reached, drew the blinds and moved to face her.

"Daniel told me what happened." Sam said nothing. And she didn't show any interest in commenting on it. "Carter, whatever happened out there, I'm completely sure, that ´you´ couldn't have influenced it!"

"I shouldn't have allowed them to go there," she sighed and turned away from him. Suddenly she started to walk up and down the room like a wild cat in a cage. "I should have known... Neither Mitchell nor Vala were at the SGC longer than five months!"

"Sam." She stopped with surprise. They had known each other for more than eight years now and he'd called her by her first name just a few times in the entire time. Sam turned around. "You're behaving like me, do you know that? This was other people's decision, not yours. As well as their stupidity, giving the leadership of their flagship team to a complete tenderfoot."

"I didn't want it." Sam growled. He raised his eyes to hers. Well, ´this´ was even more unusual than his calling her ´Sam´. "It was your position."

"I'm sorry." He suddenly whispered. Sam looked in his eyes in confusion.

"For what?" Sam gasped out.

"For my leaving..."

"That is how it goes here though." She snorted.

"No, for leaving you, Sam." Her eyes went wide and she gasped. "I'm sorry I disappeared without a single word, or letter... I shouldn't have done it. I sorely paid, knowing what I did."

"I missed you, Carter." He smiled at her. Sam shrank from him though. He nodded and that smile vanished from his lips. "I understand, that you went through far more pain than I did. I left you, when you needed support around you."

"I didn't need any support, Jack." Sam hissed back at him. "I needed you! You nipped off the same night we came back from Minnesota, barely called once and didn't mention even one single little word about the two of us!"

"I promised you I'd never leave you and I failed. And you have every right to hate me for that."

"How could I? You know too well it's impossible."

"It's a tiny step to the opposite, Sam."

"No, if it's more than just love," she shook her head. "You have to decide, Jack, I gave up everything because of ´us´. So either prove that I didn't make a mistake, or let me go." Sam sighed and left the office. Then, without saying anything else, she went down the hall, leaving him there lost in the words she had said. She had given him an opportunity. The last one. And he had no interest in losing it. So he followed her. After all, it was more than time.

Fin

A/N: Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it and please, before you fly to another fanfic, leave a review:)