Hiya, guys! This is my first story, and honestly…I have no idea if I'll continue it. It sort of depends on you and what kind of reviews I get. Let me know what you think! This begins where Bella was about to jump off the cliff, except it happened a bit differently. If I got anything wrong regarding the background information, please tell me! It's been a while since I read New Moon, I must confess.
Disclaimer: I don't own Jacob, Bella, or anything else related to Stephenie Meyer's vampire world, Twilight. If I did…a lot of things would be different, and the majority of Breaking Dawn wouldn't have happened.
My body shuddered instinctively as I gazed down at the ocean below, a churning dark abyss. One split-second decision and Edward would be with me, his voice a breath of fresh air in this dark stupor my body now possessed. Muscles tight, I swallowed hard, preparing for the plunge.
"Bella, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
The relief I had expected never came. Instead, the voice startled me and I felt my foot slide off the edge of the rock; I gasped as my face rushed toward the water below. Suddenly, a pair of arms shot around me and locked themselves against my ribcage, battling against the gravity that pulled me forward. My eyes widened as the familiar feeling of protection took over my senses. He was back; Edward had come and saved me. Or had my delusions finally converted my mind to insanity?
It was then that I recognized the warmth on my chest that I knew oh-too well. I looked down and saw the tan, muscular contours of Jacob's arms as he pulled me away from the edge. The strange feeling of security didn't leave, despite my savior not being who I'd originally thought. But I knew what this was, didn't I? Jacob was my safe harbor; it was natural that I'd feel protected by him. Annoyingly, though, some stupid and small part of my brain was telling me this wasn't the same feeling of safety as before. I could feel the heat of his body pressed against mine as we leaned precariously over the cliff. Suddenly I was aware of just how fast my heart was pumping...from the adrenaline rush of nearly falling, of course. Still, I couldn't deny that I trembled a little as his hot breath hissed with disapproval in my ear. "You didn't answer my question."
"Well, you...you just took too long. I wanted to see how it would feel," I stammered, mentally punching myself for not coming up with a better excuse.
A slight chuckle escaped his throat, making my cheeks grow hot. "What are you snickering at?" I demanded.
"Oh, nothing," he replied. Jake laughed again, though a little stiffly, and that time I realized just what he'd heard in my statement. I turned and glared at him with disapproval. Stupid boys and their sick minds, I thought. I felt my face burn as I pivoted and smacked his chest hard, probably doing more damage to myself than my target. His light sniggering stopped abruptly and his eyes lowered to mine, holding something similar to confusion as they gazed down at me. I looked back curiously, wondering what his problem was, when I became aware that my palm was growing hot.
Crap. I had forgotten to take my hand off of his chest when I'd hit him, and no doubt he'd misinterpreted my violence. He probably hadn't even felt the pain, just the pressure of my palm against his skin. I could feel him leaning toward me hesitantly, but with determination in his eyes. Uh oh, I knew that look; I just hadn't expected Jacob to succumb to his hormones so easily like all other teenage boys did at his age. Jake had always seemed more mature than that, like he was ready to wait it out and be patient until this broken old car decided to run again. Which it wouldn't...for him, anyway, and I knew that all too well. I thought I'd made him see that. But if I hadn't, how could I make him see that?
Wasn't he aware of the line I'd drawn? We'd certainly discussed it enough for him to know I didn't want this. Or maybe he's just tired of being hurt and wants to know the consequences once and for all, said the little voice in the back of my head. But I needed him, and I couldn't stand it if rejecting him ruined our friendship. Screw the friendship; I couldn't stand hurting him like this no matter what. There was no way I could stand seeing my personal sun flicker and whither until it was no more than a measly, disappointed candle flame. I tried to think of something to say to stop him as his face grew dangerously closer to mine.
"Aren't you supposed to be out hunting a vampire?" I blurted out quickly, trying to distract him. Even though I had asked just to make him talk, I honestly was curious. Why was he back so early? Had they already finished the mystery vampire off? I shuddered at the thought. My plan worked, sort of; Jacob stopped coming closer, but he didn't back off either.
"She danced around us and managed to make it to the water," he growled, his face taking on the wolf-like mask that, sadly, I was growing accustomed to. His head jerked toward the ocean that I had come so close to swimming in. "Bloodsuckers like her have the advantage there."
It seemed like he wanted to say more, but he just looked up over the top of my head. It was then that I noticed the red rims around his eyes. Now that I took the time to think about it, his amusement a second ago had seemed a bit off...almost forced. Concern flooded through me as I realized his eyes seemed a little glazed. Oh no. Had something happened to one of the pack during the chase? Was it Sam? Embry? I wrapped my flimsy arms around his giant torso; they looked like chalk against his dark complexion. "Jake, what's wrong? Did the vampire...did she hurt somebody?"
"No, nothing like that," he finally said with some effort. "But Harry Clearwater...he had a heart attack."
He looked down at the ground then, but he was so tall that I could still see his face clearly. It was screwed up in a grimace so pained that I felt the hot tears well out and over my own cheeks. Something must be really wrong with Harry if Jake was this upset. I just could not handle seeing him hurt. "Is he...?"
"It doesn't look so good right now."
"Oh."
"C'mon Bella, I'll take you home," Jake said, and I could tell he was trying to look strong, but he couldn't fool me. I just snuggled into his bare chest and hugged him harder.
I knew it was a lie, but I couldn't help adding, "Everything's going to be alright, Jake."
"Sure, sure," he said, touching his hot cheek to my hair. We stood like that for a while, inches away from the cliff side. I had hoped that Jake would be less upset by now, but nothing seemed to have changed. I wracked my brain for something to say, something to do to make his pain go away. Even his breathing was becoming slightly unsteady, though I didn't think he knew I was aware of that. Slowly I brought my lips to his shoulder, having no other ideas of how to comfort him.
That was a mistake. I should have predicted his reaction given what had occurred five minutes before, but in the intensity of the moment I'd forgotten all about Jake's futile wish that our relationship was more than just that of close friends. How I could forget that I'll never know, but the next thing I did know was that I was back in exactly the same situation I'd been trying to prevent before. "Bells?" Jacob said, confusion clearly present in his voice this time. Again, his face moved slowly towards my own. Whether it was purely the hormones or a yearning for comfort this time, I couldn't tell for sure. I edged back a tad. He inched forward. No, Jake, please don't do this!
"Oh shi-" was all I heard after that. I couldn't be sure if it was Jake or me that cussed; in my momentary panic I had taken a step backwards, and that was all it took. Jake stepped forward blinded by lust, no doubt, and suddenly I was rushing back-first toward the icy whirlpool below. The last thing I saw was Jacob's face before we plunged into the freezing depths, pain shooting through my whole body as I made contact with the waves. The next moment Jake and I were being tossed like the ocean's playthings.
I squeezed my eyes shut, begging for the pain to stop and pleading that we'd make it out alive. I could never forgive myself if I caused Jacob's death, no matter how stupid and high on testosterone he was. My lungs began to burn with their need of oxygen, and a snarl raged through my mind. Edward's voice rampaged through my entire frame. I thought I told you not to do anything reckless, Bella. Now look where you are!
I was sinking fast, and suddenly I couldn't tell which way was up and which was down. The growl turned into a moan, and then to a desperate plea. Bella, think! Please, Bella, use your legs! SWIM.
I tried to obey, I really did, but everything was turning black. The darkness seemed to be crushing my very being into nothing more than a walnut-sized pinch of pain. I didn't even know if Jake was still with me, or if we'd been torn apart by the waves. A strong surge of water knocked me forcefully into a hard, cold surface. Lights danced behind my dark eyelids, and for some reason I started apologizing to everyone I could think of. Charlie's face flashed before my eyes, and I said sorry for not spending more time with him. I begged Billy's forgiveness for hurting (and possibly accidentally killing) his son. I apologized to my friends for making them worry about my sanity. Most of all, I told Edward I wished I could have been all that he'd wanted, and that this wasn't his fault. More regrets tried to stain my mind, but darkness beat them to my consciousness.
"Bells," said something. I cringed internally as an annoying noise disturbed my peacefulness. There had been a lot of pain and a lot of water, and then it had disappeared. What if I woke up and it all came back?
"C'mon Bella, I know you're in there. You're too tough to bail on me now. Breathe!" I was dimly aware of the fact that my mouth was open and that something warm was pressing down on my lips, pressing hot air down my throat. I also became aware of when that warmth left and an icy chill replaced it, except this feeling traveled through my entire body rather than just my face. My muscles ached, and I was suddenly all too aware of a throbbing on my head. I tensed, and instantly regretted doing so as an agonizingly sharp pain on my right side made itself known. Then the warmth returned to my mouth and the pain subsided a little.
I smiled slightly at the pressure against my lips, regaining my senses somewhat. I moaned as it left again, reaching out with my hands to try and reel the warmth closer. Then I heard a sigh of relief, followed by "Like that, do you?"
Eyes still shut and mind still in a slight daze, I nodded. The warmth returned then, gently, and thankfully it didn't leave. I just let it spread comfortingly through my senses, bringing me back to the living. I felt more of the warmth slide around my chest and down my back. I winced a little as the heat passed over my aching side. Finally, my eyes fluttered open, only to be met by a mass of shaggy black hair and two chocolate brown pupils. There was Jake's face, not totally hurt-free, but better. At least he was smiling. His white teeth practically glowed against the rest of his face. "Awake, are we?"
"Uh, I think so," I couldn't be sure. It all still felt too much like a dream. The pleasant tingle of his warm hands on the small of my back, arching me closer to him; this moment seemed so perfect. Maybe it was the salt water, or maybe the lack of oxygen that hadn't come from Jake's lungs was making me loopy. He seemed pleased that my reaction was dazed, and leaned closer to judge my reaction while my eyes were open.
What are you doing, Bella? It's Jacob! He's your best friend. You love Edward. Edward...suddenly that name didn't seem as important as it had a few moments ago. Jake leaned closer. Edward...who was that again? His lips pressed cautiously against my own. I couldn't even remember what the name was. All I could think of was the press of Jacob's body against mine, propped up on his elbows so he wouldn't crush me. My instincts took over, and I started to kiss him back. Holy crap, what was wrong with me?
"Ouch! Dammit!" I had started to wrap my arm around Jacob's neck, and in doing so had caused another agonizing flare of pain in my side. I sat up abruptly, causing Jake's forehead and mine to smack together, no doubt adding another bruise to my count. My palms shoved at Jake's chest, and this time he read my implications perfectly. It probably didn't hurt that I shouted at him to get off, either.
I took a quick glance around, reorienting myself with my surroundings. I was on the beach; I assumed Jake had swum the both of us to shore. The waves licked the brown sand near my feet as if they hoped to drag me back into their depths.
I clutched at my side, trying to make the throbbing go away. "What the hell did you do to me, Jake?" I knew I shouldn't blame him, since the logical explanation was that whatever was hurting had been injured by the tide or something it had slammed me into. But now that I was fully aware of what was happening, I wasn't too keen on being nice, especially when I hurt all over in the first place. How could he use me like that, when I wasn't even conscious?
Jacob gaped at me with an expression of what could be nothing other than incredulity. My conscience told me that I was being way too hard on him; after all, I had started to kiss him back. What else would he expect? Certainly a reaction such as this wasn't exactly logical...for normal people. But since when had I been able to call myself normal?
What scared me the most was that I had actually enjoyed our mini-make-out, or at least what I could recall of it. Considering I hadn't actually been wanting his lips, however, I thought I had a pretty good excuse to act like a jerk. There was nothing wrong with wanting to be warm when your clothes were practically icing over, and Jake knew my boundaries. Why was it that he always attempted to push them over? It wasn't like it was some flimsy picket fence that a two-ton wolf could easily topple; this was the Berlin wall, the border between Texas and Mexico. It didn't just crumple that easily...it wouldn't.
Jake just continued to stare at me, his jaw still unable to locate the roof of his mouth. Finally, he managed to sputter out, "What did I do? I just saved your freaking life!"
"Yeah, but last time I took health class CPR didn't involve prolonged lip-lock," I countered, fuming. I could feel the angry color slowly rising to my moist cheeks.
As he stood there contemplating what to say to that, Jake eyed my blush with a smirk. "What?" I demanded.
Once again he replied with that simply infuriating answer, but drawing out the word tauntingly this time: "Oh, nothing."
"I cannot believe you!" I hollered, wincing as the spot where my rib was probably broken reacted to my inflated lungs. "If I hadn't been totally assaulted by those waves, I'd...I'd-"
That last, pained facial expression got Jake to pay attention to how bedraggled I really was. Finally, some sympathy, I thought. Not all of us could be invincible, freaky, mythical creatures. Unlike the majority of my friends, I could actually get hurt by natural disasters. His face took on a troubled, apologetic mask.
"Bells, I know you're mad at me, but at least let me look at that," he said, eying my side pointedly. I shot daggers at him with my gaze, hoping he'd get the message despite my lack of words. It seemed better to focus on breathing only and avoid any unnecessary lung-inflation.
Jake sighed and walked over to where I stood among the soggy sand and pebbles, ignoring my hostile behavior. I flinched away as he tried to feel where my ribcage threatened to collapse, or at least that's what it felt like. He looked up at me through his dripping hair with disapproval, "If it really hurts that much, you should let me take you to the doctor."
"Just leave me alone, Jake. I'm going home," I said, knowing all-too-well I was being irrational. The embarrassment of kissing my best friend still hadn't worn off. Stubbornly, I turned and began to walk toward where I thought the road was.
"Uh, Bella, you do realize your truck is at the top of the cliff, right?"
"Whatever. I'll walk back up there."
Jake rolled his eyes. "There's no way I'm letting you hobble all the way up there by yourself with a vampire on the loose, Bella. Be reasonable."
"You're welcome to follow, Jacob, but I am not using you as a personal crutch," I argued heatedly. The annoying voice in my head returned then, reminding me that I had been using Jacob as my crutch for the past six months and it was stupid to stop now. I yelled silently at the voice to can it and continued walking up the beach.
Jake huffed, realizing my intentions wouldn't budge. "Fine. Do what you want."
"Fine!"
But as I turned to keep struggling through the sand lamely, the world suddenly turned upside down. Before my slow, human brain could register what had just happened, Jake's face was staring down at mine. Having shoved his left arm around the crease behind my knee and his right behind my head, I now laid awkwardly next to his bare-naked chest, carried like a swooning damsel-in-distress up the hill. Despite our little spat, Jake chuckled at the shock plain on my face. "You didn't expect me to give up that easily, did you?"
Stupid, crazy-fast mutt. I elbowed him in the ribs, realizing too late it wouldn't make a difference. Great, another bruise. Just what I needed.
So there you have it! Questions, comments, praise, criticism? Anything's welcome, and if I do write another chapter I'll try to answer all of your questions at the bottom of the chapter. I've got lots of ideas, but I need motivation, so I'll see what reviews I get. Until then, happy reading!