This is pure, absolute fluff. Be warned, it's sugary sweet.
I own nothing, gain nothing (Shucks, if I did, we would have seen a tinsy, tiny bit more of what led us to the baby Booth. BTW, I don't envy HH for casting babies, can you imagine? I say just get rid and put ED own's offspring as I'm sure he or she will be nothing but beautiful)
I dedicate this to Colette Marie, the recently turned one-year old daughter of one of my greatest friends, Alex, and to Nele, whose unrelenting faith in me always pushes me to be better. This is to you, my dearest partner in writing-crime.
I wrote this as I write many things, stream of consciousness, and not looking back, so sorry for any mistakes you find, as I feel I owe you, my dear readers, my respect in trying to do my best.
Here it goes.
The lights dancing across her blinds told her it was time for her to wake up and get on with their day. However, she found her body was achingly reluctant to move from her position. She inhaled deeply and let her senses get drunk on sensation, as she soaked greedily in the feel of the warm body next to hers, strong arms engulfing her from behind, large, soothing hands resting solidly on the expanse of her bulging midsection, cradling her protectively.
For someone who had never enjoyed the closeness of another human body, she had done a complete turnaround, and now she relished in the gift she had been given, the gift of love and of life. She would have never thought she would find such release by giving herself completely to someone else, but as the days passed, she could see every merit of sharing a life, of letting yourself be vulnerable and putting your heart and trust in the hands of someone else. Of course, she had been trusting him with her life from practically day one, but her heart had been a different matter. She had regretted so many things, so many lost opportunities, but fate, or providence had given her another chance to find the life she never knew she craved.
Hearing a hum behind her, she smiled softly, his hands tightening slightly over the taut skin of her expanding stomach, proof of the miracles their love could achieve. Just one night of indulging in the comfort they could have only found in each other's arms, and life had blossomed. Cam and, remarkably, Sweets had joked that indeed Booth had to have super sperm to get her pregnant on their first night together, and though she knew they would have both liked to get into their relationship at a much slower pace, they wouldn't change a thing.
She could only marvel at the sheer adoration that shone in his eyes whenever he stared at her. Despite her arguments that the baby's hearing wouldn't be developed until much further, from that night where she had shakily announced that she was pregnant and that he was the father, he never missed a night chat with their unborn child, telling "her" things, talking about the mundane and the serious. While she had found it silly, she couldn't deny how her heart warmed every time his lips ghosted over her growing bump, how his hands stroked every inch of her skin, trying to communicate with their child, and she couldn't make herself deny him of something that made him so happy.
Of course, there had been bumps on the road. The huge blowout and consequent crying fit that had ensued the announcement that she would no longer go on the field. He had tried to reason with her, let her see it was the sensible thing to do but all his arguments fell flat when she shakily told him she was afraid no one would be as devoted to protect him and "have his back" as she could, that she feared that she would be getting a call saying he was hurt, because their girl needed him, she needed him, and she couldn't deal with it all if he wasn't there to lead the way. His heart had ached too much to hear the fear in her voice he had immediately called both Hacker and Cullen to tell them he would be out of the field as well, at least until she could come back full time and support him.
But it was the little things that had built their relationship. How he would indulge in her every craving, and then how he would not even bat an eyelash as she literally threw her guts up at the most random times. How he would massage her back and shoulders as the weight on her front made her increasingly uncomfortable. It was also in the tenderness she showed him, as summer gave way to fall, and the dropping temperatures bothered his aching feet. She had always thought him so brave, as he soldiered on, pretending he was in prime shape when she knew that a few degrees lower, and he was returned to that dark place where they had broken his feet, but not his soul.
It was in the look of awe and the tears he failed to hide whenever they caught a glimpse of their growing baby. Of the joy he had never tried to conceal as they saw their baby sucking their thumb, to later learn that it was indeed a little girl.
It was in everything they did, on how they eased Parker into the news, and how he had practically shouted in glee that at least he was going to be a big brother, and how he grew concerned of being the best big brother to his little sister, also talking to her belly and explaining how to throw the best balls when she played, warming both their hearts.
It was on how he ran to get her middle-of-the-night weird cravings, how he didn't care that he had to get up from their warm bed to get her the spiciest Mexican he could find, or to find her Rocky road and pistachio ice-cream if they had run out. It was his willingness to make sure her every need was tended to that made her realize just how truly ok it was to let go of her control and let him in the driver' seat, in all ways that mattered.
She never thought contentment was an emotion she was capable of, but in this moment, his warm embrace making her feel adored and secure, she realized that as with everything before, Seeley Booth had the ability to change her outlook on life quite fast.
"What got you thinking so hard so early, baby?", he kissed the spot below her ear softly, rubbing his hands over her belly, making her smile.
"I was thinking that I don't want to get up", she said tenderly, "I feel so… content here", his hands tightened his hold on her, and he whispered huskily, "We don't have to get up. We can let the world keep on turning while we lay here", he pressed a second kiss, this one feeling moist and achingly tender, enticing her to shut her brain off and let him drag her into the promise of more bliss and to hold on to their contentment.
She groaned regretfully, "I wish we could, but you have a meeting with Hacker and Cullen, and I'm receiving 2,000 year-old Incan remains that we've been waiting for 2 months", she tilted her head to meet his eyes, and moved her hands, one to rest atop his on her belly and the other to cup his jaw, seeing his puppy-dog eyes, she relented, "Tell you what. I promise I won't step a foot in the lab this weekend, no matter how interesting this remains seem, I will even leave at 5 on Friday, and I will let you pamper me to your heart's desire, no complains on my behalf", his eyes lit up with the same childlike wonder that Parker displayed whenever he was told he was getting a treat. Her heart ached, as she knew that he hadn't had the chance to smile like that when he was a little boy, and feeling their daughter move against his hand, she felt a murdering urge to go and find his father for what he had done to his precious, brave little boy. She knew it was his own past that made him so determined to give his children only the best, to be the best father he could, to make sure they knew they were loved and cherished.
"That sounds amazing, and don't doubt for a second that I won't hold you to that. I will be as alpha male as you need me to be", she huffed, but her smile betrayed what she really felt. A deep satisfaction that it was her, not Hannah or Rebecca or any other woman, giving him this. A family.
They shared a kiss tinted with lazy satisfaction and tender devotion, lips, tongues and hands mapping every crease with the craving that was always there, the spark that had come so close to being extinguished, but that now roared to life each time they stared into each other's eyes, beautifully free to do so.
When their lungs were screaming at them for air, they broke apart, but he pressed his forehead against hers, eyes dark and glittering as he said, "Don't make this harder, Temperance", he groaned as the evidence of his desire was pressed deliciously against her belly.
"And can it get… harder?", the mischief was clear in her eyes, now a deep, stormy blue that made him think the most beautiful seas had nothing on Temperance Brennan.
"Much", was his only reply before he enticed them both to succumb to the fire that would always be there.
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"I blame you for this, you know?", she sighed, but despite the ire she wanted to infuse into her words, her eyes were glittering, her cheeks still beautifully pink, her whole skin glowing even more than usual, and he felt a surge of alpha-male pride as he thought, "Damn, I made that", his loins stirring, as they always did, as he was hit, for the millionth time, that she was finally and irrevocably, his.
"If blaming me is saying, "Harder, faster", you're right. I'm totally guilty", her cheeks tinted crimson, and she chuckled, giving up the charade.
"Angela says we need to go on a babymoon", she said pensively, resting her head against the seat, tilting it towards him, their hands meeting over the dashboard, fingers entwining of their own accord.
"Babymoon?", he asked, and she nodded, "She said that we should take some time off, before the baby comes, and things are too hectic. I think she's right, Seeley", it warmed his heart whenever his given name fell from her rosy lips. It just sounded so right.
"You do?", she nodded again.
"While I would never regret any of this", her free hand went to rub her abdomen, "We haven't truly taken time for ourselves, and Angela has told me that when she comes, things will become quite hectic, and it will be a while before we can take some time for ourselves", he looked thoughtful, and while his eyes never lost that adoring look, she could see the seriousness behind them.
"Would you change, any of it?", she dislodged her hand from their hold and moved it to his cheek, and shook her head.
"No", she said resolutely, "I would only change how long it took me to realize what you are to me. I could never regret us", her words, spoken with such love and certainty made his insides turn, and his heart beat almost painfully against his sternum.
"My beautiful Bones", they engaged in one of their timeless stares, their eyes saying everything their lips couldn't, and leaning over the middle, he pressed his lips against hers, sharing the same breath, heart beating in unison.
He exited the SUV and moved to her side. Her independent streak had to give way to his gallantry, as her growing middle was making it more difficult to get out of the car.
When she was safely on her feet, bag over her shoulder, he gave her a light peck and said, "I'll bring lunch, ok? Remember to munch on some fruit", she nodded.
"I have my apples and my lemons ready", she lifted a small container where she carried her morning snacks to show him she was following the doctor's instructions to a fault. She hsd suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum, meaning, morning sickness at its most severe, making it impossible for her to gain the necessary weight. However, their little peanut, as Booth had called their baby before they knew it was a little girl, had held on strong to her mommy, even when it was clear, for a terrifying 4 days, that she was in distress, a fighter just like them, Max had said, claiming that his late wife had also suffered from HG when pregnant with their daughter.
He kissed her again, and getting on his haunches, he raised her flowing shirt to kiss her belly, "Be good to mommy, sweetheart, ok? I love you to the stars and back", he whispered, making her smile.
"Bye, Seeley", she turned on her heels, and as she knew, he was still there, her knight making sure his princess got into her palace safely. So she gave him a smile and a wave before disappearing from sight.
Feeling pleasantly full, he got on his SUV, ready to deal with boring meetings, knowing he had every single thing to look forward to when the day was over.
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The meeting had dragged, but whenever he found himself feeling swamped with boredom, all he had to do was think of his Bones, and a goofy smile would instantly come to his lips. He knew most of his fellow agents envied him, solely because he had "bagged a rich, beautiful scientist", and that was without them knowing just how blissful their life was, even with the bumps that would naturally come.
He was in one of his happy bubbles when his phone rang. They were all engaged in a struggle about a certain department policy, his own department saved from scrutiny as it was the most productive in the Bureau, so he could tune them out knowing he was safe, when his phone rang discreetly.
His smiled waned a bit when he saw it wasn't who he expected, but he put on his best charming tone for his Bones' best friend.
"Hey, Ange", but it wasn't the usual sassy, charming tone that met him, and his smile disappeared completely as he heard her.
"Booth, you need to come, now!", the worry in her voice was palpable, and without thought, he was already standing.
"What happened?", he asked frantically, noticing his bosses had stopped chatting and were looking at him. He knew they both grown a huge soft spot for her, and that they were happy they were finally out of "denial land". It didn't hurt that he had made them win the $1,000 pool at the Hoover.
"We were laughing, on our morning break for snacks, Cam rips open a bag of cookies, and suddenly, she ran for the nearest bin. She started throwing up, only stopping when there was nothing else to throw up, but now she's crying in her office", his heart picked up speed, afraid that something was wrong with their little one, "And she doesn't want us to go in", he heard how helpless Angela was feeling.
"I'll be there in 10. Don't let her out of your sight", and hung up.
"Is everything all right, Booth?", Cullen asked, and he shook his head.
"Something is wrong with Bones, sir", he didn't need to ask for permission, and Cullen only nodded, understanding that the family man came before his top agent.
"Go, then, Booth. And good luck. Make sure they're ok", Booth nodded, but was practically running towards the elevators and into his car.
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When he entered the lab, he could see the squints huddled in front on her door, keeping silent vigil over her, looks of helpless despair on their faces.
Cam, Angela and Jack, Daisy and Arastoo were looking inside her darkened office, and as he reached them, he could hear her sobs even through the tempered glass that made up her office.
"What happened?", they jumped slightly at his voice, but instantly turned around.
"I don't know what happened, Seeley", Cam began to explain, "We were having our morning snack, as usual", ever since they had all learned she had HG they had decided a morning snack ritual was in order, and it became mandatory. They all knew she hated to be babied, and it was a good way to keep an eye on her without being obvious, "We were all joking and laughing, and then I ripped open a pack of cookies Paul gave me to share with the group, and when I offered her one, suddenly, she became deathly pale, and she ran to the nearest trash bin, and threw up everything, and I mean everything. She started breathing hard and fast, and before we know it, she started crying her eyes out, and hasn't stopped. She only allowed Jack to lead her to her couch, but ordered him to leave, and hasn't allowed us, not even Angela, to go inside. I don't understand, Seeley", he could see the fear in the pathologist's eyes, and was grateful that they had such loving, loyal friends.
"It's not your fault. Perhaps she's just scared. You know how difficult it was for us to wait for her to get better, and how scared she was when the baby was in distress", Cam nodded.
"Booth, you have to go in. You are the only one who can figure it out", Angela said desperately, and he nodded.
"Thanks, guys", he said and walked to her door, opening softly, so she wasn't startled.
He walked inside, and saw her on the couch, cradling her belly protectively, while her hand steadily wiped the current of tears flowing from her eyes. His heart ached at seeing her so hurt, huddled in a fetal position, like she was afraid someone would hurt her.
He kneeled right before her, and wiped a sweaty bang from her forehead, and she slowly opened pained blue eyes on him.
"Hey, baby", he said tenderly.
"Booth", was her only response, and her tears started flowing even more, as she hid her face against the cushions from him.
He continued caressing her hair, knowing she loved when he ran his fingers through her scalp, "What is it, honey? It breaks my heart to see you like this", he started moving so he could sit her on her lap, and surprisingly, she willingly went into his arms, hiding her face against his neck, inhaling deeply, her hands holding on to his like they were a lifeline.
"Tell me about it. You promised me", they had vowed that whenever she felt scared or insecure, she would share her fears and emotions. They had decided that honesty was always the best policy, and after the 6 months that had followed their return from the opposite sides of the Earth, they had learned their lesson the hard way.
She tried to control her breathing for a few minutes before she began speaking, "You'll think it's silly", she tried to deflect, but he only rubbed her back more purposely, and shook his head.
"Don't care. Tell me", with a heavy, shaky sigh she began.
"We were having our snack. We were almost done, but I was still a bit hungry. Cam recalled Paul had given her a pack of cookies, and she opened them, so we could share", she explained, her voice still filled with tears, "When I went to take it, I… I couldn't", her tears started anew, and he tightened his hold.
"Aw, honey, what is it?", he still didn't understand what was it that had her so upset. "Was it because it made you ill and you are scared you are going to get sick again", after a few moments, she shook her head, and sniffled.
"It wasn't that", her voice was so low he was thankful for his sniper training, otherwise, he wouldn't have heard it, "It was fig".
He was certain that his heart had skipped more than one bit, his own eyes filling with tears.
"Aw baby", he cradled her tighter against his chest, rocking her like he did Parker whenever he was upset, "I am so, so sorry", his voice was so filled with pain, she raised her head, and met his eyes, which were filled with shame.
"It's not your fault, Seeley", she said softly, and he shook his head.
"I rubbed my relationship with her in your face every chance I could. I… I hurt you so much", she shook her head again, and cradled his face in her hands.
"If we are trying to place the blame somewhere, then it lays on me. I was the one to reject you. You were only reacting", the sadness in her eyes rivaled the certainty that shone in them.
"You rejected me, but I… I didn't give you the respect you deserved, as my friend, as my partner. I betrayed every single thing I told you. God, I was the one to talk to you about love, and I debased it completely. I shattered everything I had lead you to believe", she sniffled, but fixed her eyes on his heavily.
"I was hurt. I knew, rationally, that for every action, there has to be a reaction, and you had warned me that you would move on. I was glad to see you had found someone to love you, and that you loved, for you, because I would have rather see you happy with someone else that miserable with me", his eyes widened, "But you're wrong. You never shattered anything, because, no matter how hard things got, I never stopped believing in you. I always saw beneath the surface, and I only hoped… that Hannah was everything you wanted her to be. I didn't want to see you hurt again, but I can't deny that I ached to be in her shoes", she admitted, and he couldn't resist giving her a bruising, desperate, passionate kiss.
When they broke apart, her lips were bruised and her eyes were wide. His eyes were so filled with love, so open the tears in her eyes started again, "She could never be in your shoes. No one could. I am sorry, because I was the one to get trapped in a shiny bauble, Temperance", he said, taking them back to that fateful birthday celebration, and her shameful admission that she had been wrong to doubt him, "I needed to feel something, and Hannah was there. I made myself believe I could love her the way I loved you, and I was angry, but I never told you it wasn't with you. I was angry with myself, for being so stupid, for hurting three people in my haste to forget about what I felt for you, when I knew, here", he took her hand and placed it against his chest, which was thumping wildly, "You were etched so deep I couldn't get you out, no matter how hard I tried. No matter how many times I was inside her, I never made love to her. I can be mature enough to realize that it was sex. Great sex, yes, but only that. She never made me feel the way you do. She couldn't get under my skin the way you do. She couldn't make me as happy as you've made me. One tiny smile from you is enough to make my day better, and being inside you… It is heaven to me. She was fun, it was fun to be with her, but at the end of the day, you were the only one to stand by my side, even if I was treating you like shit", he caressed her soft cheek, damp with tears, "You never lied to me, always honest", she shook her head.
"But I did", at his confused look, she tearfully admitted, "I lied. That night, on the Hoover, I told you I couldn't change, but I knew I could, but I was terrified, Booth, of losing you, of losing us", he closed his eyes, letting her words soothe old wounds, "I lied because I acted like you were the only one who… had feelings, when I was already drowning in them so much, I even couldn't stay knowing I would have to see you move on", their embrace was filled with tenderness, but also with the freedom of finally having aired the issues they had dodged for so many months, thinking that they were past them, and finally realizing that they had acted on wrong assumptions.
Love had always been there. Right from the beginning.
"And even if I don't believe in heaven, feeling you, with me… it has to be the closest definition of it I could find, Booth. Feeling you close to me, waking up to you… I wouldn't change the past because somehow, it brought us here, and now I know I can't live without you, or without her", Booth let his tears fall, feeling his chest about to burst at her admission, awed at the love pouring out from her.
"And I can't live without you, or her either, Bones. I lost sight of it, for a while, but deep inside, I knew all roads would lead me back to you, and a thousand Hannahs couldn't change this. I always knew, and I promise you that my eyes will never, not ever, be caught by those shiny baubles again, because that's all that she was. You're the real thing to me, Temperance. You're it", their eyes met, and this time their kiss was filled with the sense of the healing they had so badly needed, the last of their respective walls falling safely knowing the other would be there on the other side.
After some minutes, they again searched for air, and her head fell on his shoulders while he held her protectively against his frame, infusing her with warmth.
"Booth, I intensely dislike being pregnant", she whined, and he smiled, knowing where it was coming from.
"Why?", he couldn't help but ask.
"I am prone to emotional outbursts. Look what a single cookie did to me", she pouted, and he had to kiss her plump lips again, smiling all the way.
"Aw, Bones. It's nice to know you care. I have to admit that when we let you in that bit of information, I secretly wanted to see if you were jealous", her head snapped, and she gave him a disbelieving look.
"You, the prude, who always refused to talk about sex, told me you had her against a fig tree to see if I was jealous?", he nodded, not an ounce of remorse on his twinkling brown eyes, knowing they could look back on those moments and not feel the hurt that had poured out moments before.
"Did it work?", he asked, raising an eyebrow, and after a few moments of staring into each other's eyes, she dropped her head to his shoulder again, caressing his chest over the light fabric of his pristine white dress shirt.
"I would so kick your ass if I wasn't so heavily pregnant and if you hadn't redeemed yourself. You are not a prude, Booth, so stop being so squimish when sex talk comes your way", she admonished, but there was no real ire behind her words.
He rubbed her back soothingly, elated that they had finally left the past in the past, and whispered, "I am no prude, Temperance, but what goes on between us…"
"is just ours", she said.
"is just ours", he finished at the same time.
"If that is the case, I have to tell you, I think I finally found the perfect name for our little girl. That's perhaps why I was so emotional", she explained, and he tilted her chin so he could stare into her beautiful eyes, which were now a sparkling blue.
"Really?", he beamed at her, and she nodded.
"I loved Les Misèrables when I read it first. I was 17, and still in the foster system. There were so many lies, and Colette always searched for the truth, and at the end, she realized all she needed was love, as I did", her eyes lowered, suddenly shy, and he caressed her jaw, making her face him, "She never stopped fighting. It's silly, but… it was what pushed me to want to be a writer somehow, to create a world where good can overpower evil, and where good people win at the end", he pressed a tender kiss against her forehead.
"So, Colette?", he loved it, it was so lyrical, "What about a middle name?", he teased.
"I actually thought of that as well. You are deeply Catholic, and while I have mocked your faith, I can see how it has contributed in shaping you into the man you are, and I wanted to honor that. It's not that I believe in God, but I do believe in you, and all parts of you, so… I thought…", she seemed shy, and he pressed tenderly, "What?"
"Colette Marie", his eyes lit up, the same smile he had gotten on that sidewalk when she had blurted out he was going to be a father again, and her heart instantly was at ease.
"It's perfect, Temperance, it's perfect", he said cradling her against his chest, rubbing her neck and shoulders, his fingers caressing her jaw like gossamer wings, and feeling her breath even out, he whispered, "perfect, and so are you, my Bones".
He let sleep take him too, unwilling to let go of this contentment, and unaware that outside the glass doors, even the most logical squints had tears in their eyes as they fully accepted that the two people inside were the sun, and they were just pure planets, hopeless to resist the pull of their gravity.
I felt this was a good place to stop, and perhaps, as with a lot of fellow ff writers, I could possibly turn this into a series, since this was only intended to be a one-shot. You'll tell me if this is worth following.
Musie loves reviews, and she's greedy! (LOL)
Really, your words are the fuel I need to keep on giving this a shot.