Jen and Roy both lie flopped across the old couch, head to head.
Jen: Oh, I'm so depressed. None of my love interests ever work out.
Roy: Me either. They always leave me.
Jen: Heh! Funny, I always leave them.
Roy: I don't know what to do. It seems like I've dated every woman in the building.
Jen: Why can't I find a nice unattached man who I can have a real relationship with?
Roy: Why can't I find a woman who will put up with me?
Moss walks into the room.
Moss: I have a solution.
Both: What?
Moss: Date each other.
Both: What!?
Roy: Moss, I can't date Jen ! She's my boss!
Jen: And he's my employee. It would be -
Moss: Uncomfortable. I know, I feel the same way about romantic relationships..
Jen: Unprofessional.
Roy: Thanks a lot Moss, are you saying I make my dates uncomfortable?
Moss: No, I'm saying dating in general is uncomfortable, in my experience.
Roy: When have you ever been on a date?
Moss: It was in a video game, Roy. A lovely lady named Lolita. We had a load of laughs, but I finally had to end it.
Roy: Was this Grand Theft Auto?
Moss: The same.
Jen: What does this have to do with our love life?
Moss: Oh, so you've already beat me to the idea. When I heard you complaining, I assumed that you hadn't gotten together yet.
Jen: What? No!
Roy: You did say OUR love life.
Jen: No I didn't, there are no romantic undercurrents here.
Roy: I agree. Moss, that's ridiculous.
Jen: Why is it ridiculous?
Roy: Well, you know -
Jen: No, what? Am I too posh for you, is that it?
Roy: No, no, not at all! It's just that - you're my boss. Like we said before.
Jen: Well then, I order you to take me out.
Roy: Jen, be reasonable.
Jen: No, I just realized that's there's absolutely no reason that you shouldn't want to take me out, except that I'm your superior. You've taken every other woman in the building out but me.
Roy: I've technically taken you out before -
Jen: Girls night doesn't count.
Roy: What about the time I -
Jen: No.
Roy: Fine, I'll take you down to the pub for a burger.
Jen: Is that what you normally do with your dates?
Roy: Well, no, usually we end up -
Jen: Nevermind, I don't want to hear the details. Just take me somewhere classy.
Roy: Fine, somewhere classy. How about my mother's?
Jen: Your mother's? Why would you take me to your mother's?
Roy: Well, you know. I have to visit her, and she likes me to have a date.
Jen: Why?
Roy: So she can look forward to grandchildren.
Jen: What! No No No! This is going way too far.
Roy: See, this is why I knew dating my boss would be a bad idea.
Jen: You have it all backwards!
Moss: Oh, come on. It's not like it's that big of a leap from your current state of affairs. Take a normal cozy movie night, take me out of the equation, and you have a date!
Jen: Sounds simple enough.
Roy: This is ludicrous.
Jen: Why can't you just take me out on a normal date!
Roy: We have different ideas of normal!
Moss: You two are over-complicating everything!
Roy: It's a complicated relationship, Moss.
Jen: Quiet, both of you! Roy, I care too much about our relationship to waste it on a cheap date.
Roy: I agree.
Jen: So we have to find out how we really feel about each other.
Roy: What?
Jen: And the only way to do that, is to kiss each other.
Roy: Jen, I'm sure there's another way.
Jen: No Roy, Moss is right, this has been boiling under the surface far too long.
Roy: What are you talking about?
Moss: It's been heating up.
Jen: Moss.
Can't you see it, Roy? The subtle flirtations.
Roy: I didn't notice any flirtations. he said in a high pitched voice.
Jen: That's right you didn't. Whenever I dressed up nice and smiled, you just eyed my rear.
Roy: You noticed that? [in horror].
Jen: Come on Roy, tell me you don't want to kiss me.
Moss: Yes, tell her Roy.
Roy: You, hush.
Moss: But it should be after the date. I could plan one if you like.
Roy: Would you Moss? Because frankly, this is getting kind of terrifying.
Moss: It would be my pleasure, Roy.
Jen: Look, Roy, this really shouldn't even be a big deal - unless you actually, feel something for me.
Roy: What? Me? No no. This is just a weird experiment, right? Do you -?
Jen: Nooo...No. of course not, I mean look at you. Haha. You're not my type.
Roy: You mean I'm not a sleazebag?
Jen: Now, I wouldn't go that far.
Moss: Whoah you two, save it for after the honeymoon.
Roy: We're not going to have a honeymoon!
Jen: Why not?
Roy: Because we'd have to get married first.
Jen: Well we spend enough time together we might as well be.
Roy: Is that all it is to you, convenience?
Moss: Do I get to plan a wedding now? Oh boy!
Jen: No Roy, our - whatever relationship - means much more to me than that. Whatever it is, I'd hate to lose it by doing something rash.
Roy: So we're on the same page then? We find out what all this is first, but no kissing.
Jen: Alright Roy, no kissing.
Roy: yaaay! I'm sorry Jen, it would just be too weird if we, you know. And then...
Jen: Yeah, I get it. It would be hard to go back to the way things were... before. If it didn't work out, that is.
Roy: It might not.
Jen: Why are you so against this? What are you afraid of?
Roy: ... I have commitment issues Jen. There, I said it. I'm bloody terrified of how I feel about you.
Jen: Why didn't you just tell me?
Roy: Because then you'd know I really don't deserve you.
Jen: Oh Roy. Of course you do. You're one of the greatest guys I know, next to Moss.
Roy: Ah, you're just saying that.
Jen: No, I mean it. You're funny, and smart, and kind. And brave too.
Roy: You're flattering me. And I suppose, when I think about it, you have some nice traits too.
Jen: Like what?
Roy: Your laugh.
Moss: *sniff* this is so touching.
Jen: What else?
Roy: Your sweet voice.
Jen: Anything else?
Roy: The way you save my arse.
Jen: Aw, now we're talking.
Moss: Come on, I'm getting impatient.
Jen: Ok, this is getting awkward. I'm going to go... type. I'll see you tonight. I trust you'll plan a nice date, Moss.
Moss: I will Jen, don't you worry. It'll knock your socks off.