There was always a sense of darkness in Belleville, Gerard remembered that. You could go up to one of the towers and look out across the city, and both the ground and the sky were dark. He remembered looking out across his homeland as a boy and wishing that he could stay within the centre: within the light. He didn't want to drift into the darkness below, or the darkness above. He wanted to stand out, be different, and be a beacon for others to follow.
He didn't just want to be a number. A victim.
Every now and then, balloons would fly above the city, carrying important people of some kind: reporters, lookouts, policemen. Gerard wondered what it would be like to fly, all through his childhood. He would watch the balloons as they drifted above everyone else, thinking it would be wonderful to be up there among the clouds. He could only imagine the views, and he did frequently, though that had somewhat diminished as he grew older.
The more he grew, the more he realised that the views would only be spectacular in their destruction; he learned all you would see was bodies in the streets, and those who knew the deceased screaming in defiance. His dreams of flying were decimated. They weren't the only dreams to have long since died.
Gerard's father – Captain Donald Way – was a highly ranking official in the army; the Great War had raged for far too long and been far too bloody for anyone to relish or celebrate such a job. Humanity had long been bombarded by destructive, monstrous creatures – demons, as humans had so eloquently labelled them – to the point where the remaining cities cowered behind a series of giant walls, guarded by members of the army known as Bulwarks. Captain Way was not a Bulwark though, he was a Squad Leader in the Killjoys division: those from the army who travelled and attacked the demons further out – they aimed to travel, discover more about the demons and their weaknesses, and fight back against them.
It was the division of the army that suffered the highest casualties – as well as having the highest MIA record – and ultimately had gained very little that was measurable in humanity's favour. However, they were highly regarded among lay people for both their bravery and their sacrifice. Gerard – along with his younger brother, Mikey – looked up to their dad, and cared very dearly for him: despite this, they hated his job. The uncertainty, the danger, the distance – they worried a great deal over him during his tours.
One of Gerard's cheerful teenage memories was of the three of them going into the city on Parade Day. Once, each and every year, members of the Army and their families and friends put on a parade – The Black Parade – in order to celebrate the one thing they all clung onto dearly as the line that separated them from the demons. Their humanity. Gerard didn't care much for the sentiment – if anything, he spent much of his childhood wondering why such a celebration would focus on the colour black – but he enjoyed spending the time with his father and brother.
There was a band that played morbid songs of hope at the front of the parade, followed by a variety of costumed people, dressed as skeletons. It all seemed so melancholic, rather than hopeful. Most years, his dad was on tour on Parade Day, and so he and Mikey would do other things to keep their minds off of the possibilities and the worries.
However, Gerard could recall that that was when his father expressed his desire for his sons to follow in his footsteps. After the parade, as they approached their home, his father turned to the two boys and spoke of his desires. The words stuck with Gerard for the rest of his life.
"Sons. When you grow up, I want you to honour my legacy. I want you to achieve greatness. I want you to be the best of what humanity has to offer." Captain Way looked to his children with near desperation; he knew they'd suffered at the hands of his position in the Army but he had to convince them to do good in the darkness of the world. "Would you do that for me? Would you be the saviour for those who are broken, beaten, those who are damned to suffering?"
Neither Gerard or Mikey had known how to respond, but they knew that they had to do something; they couldn't just stay living in the basement that they had adopted as their home during his tours. There was a whole world out there: they wanted to travel, to explore, to do good.
"I believe you have the power to defeat them. It's inside of both of you. You have the hope, the goodness, the love. You are the best humans I've ever met." Tears rolled down the battle-hardened skin of Captain Way's cheeks. "I want you to join the Black Parade."
Gerard never forgot this moment: those very words pushed him and Mikey to train together over the next years – muscular strength, endurance, mental discipline – and eventually to enrol in the Army together. Gerard swore he could hear his father's words as they stood in line, in uniform, as they were formally accepted into the Army. The day they joined the Killjoys.
Their father was no longer Squad Leader – he was MIA, presumed dead. It was first tour after encouraging his sons to join the Army that his squad failed to make contact, and didn't return. After weeks of hopeful waiting, Army officials told the boys that he was being replaced as Killjoys Squad Leader under the assumption he was dead. Apologies were made, condolences given, but the Way brothers knew this day would come eventually: they had prepared through the uncertainty of all of his previous tours.
They were prepared for the grief too, as when they were just young children, their mother was taken from them. If the winds were still and the room quiet, Gerard could focus very carefully and bring back an image of his mother, Donna Way, from before the incident.
A few more intelligent demons had banded together to attack, and one had made it past the Bulwarks: it had sharp black wings, allowing it to fly over the preoccupied Bulwarks and make it into the city. Its black legs faded into an electric blue body, muscular despite its thinness. Its demonic grin was only worsened by its extra set of arms, which had dragon-like mouths rather than the claws of its hands.
It knew who Captain Way was. It knew he had a family. It knew where he lived.
What it didn't realise, was that Captain Way wasn't at home at the time it attacked: he was a short distance away in the town attending some business when the fiend landed into his home. Gerard and Mikey had been playing in the back garden, but their mother was in the front room, where the demon had crashed. It checked the other rooms and saw that Captain Way was not around, before attempting to leave through the whole it had created; it wanted to find the soldier, only he had found it, and attacked it before it had processed the situation.
He fired a shot at it, decapitating one of its arm-heads, before readying a shot at its head: it pushed him to the ground, scratching his chest in the process. He was still able to get his shot away, but it missed the head and scratched the demon's shoulder instead.
At this point, the demon decided it was better to retreat as Officers began to arrive and draw their weapons: it flew off, out of gun range before they could kill it. There was no telling whether the Bulwarks would catch it, or if it would fly off to live another day.
Gerard and Mikey came into the house, responding to the commotion: they saw that the front room had been trashed, the outside wall decimated. And... their mother lie in the space of the room, impaled on chunks of debris that were scattered across the room when the wall imploded. She had stopped gasping for air, and was in some form of peace, despite the fact her blood stained the carpet below her.
Neither of the brothers, nor their father, were prepared for that day. It deepened Captain Way's hatred for the demons, and his desire to go out and rid the world of them. It led Mikey to reclusiveness when not around his brother. It led Gerard to look upon the bleak world and wonder why things happened the way they did.
Both brothers spent weeks in hospital recovering from the trauma and shock, while Captain Way – somewhat selfishly – returned to the Killjoys on the battlefield as soon as he was medically cleared, in order to hunt the demons responsible for the attack. While in hospital, it was broadcast speeches from the Army Captains that both encouraged and terrified Gerard at the prospect of joining the war effort. The nurses offered the support that they could, but comfort and consolation could not help Gerard now.
However, not once did his mind envision stories of wonder and awe. Great battles, yes, but never of heroic status or glory. He wanted to be useful, he wanted to do something for the world.
Upon being initiated into the Army, each soldier was given a set of dog tags with their details; it could sometimes be difficult to identify bodies of soldiers, but the tags survived pretty much anything that the demons had thrown at humanity thus far. On the back, each soldier was given the opportunity to engrave a short message, to carry with them throughout their work. Many added the names of those they loved – however, it was incredibly personal and it was frowned upon to ask others what they had written, even if they were family. Only you and your Captain knew, and that was so that they could engrave the dog tags.
Since the day she died, Gerard sensed that his mother was watching over him, somehow. It gave him comfort at times, as he wondered if she would be proud that he'd managed to look after Mikey as they'd grown up. He often debated whether she'd want to be avenged, or she'd prefer the pair to remain in Belleville and avoid an untimely death like her own.
He felt her presence during the initiation ceremony. Towards the end of the occasion, the Captain that was initiating Gerard asked what message he wanted to be engraved on his dog tags. Gerard looked up from his own fidgeting fingers and jet black military suit to the ageing man above him, draped in fanciful silks and trinkets, wondering where the money for all of the ceremonial pomp could have gone. One idea and one idea only came into Gerard's head. It was the only thing that seemed right.
And so, Gerard Way of the Killjoys Division, had words hung around his neck to honour his mother, to remember his past, and to motivate his future.
Though you're dead and gone, your memory will carry on.