Author's note:
Now this could have gone down the 'Helena does not think she is worthy' road. It doesn't.
Also, I'm fangirling a bit about The X Files in this story but there is no need to be familiar with that show to comprehend this tale. No spoilers.
Season 5 did not happen.
/
"OK, you know the TV show The X Files?" Claudia started her briefing.
"Yeah." Myka smiled.
"I've seen a few episodes, yes," H.G. added.
"Isn't it great!? I mean it's kinda old and all but some of the things they thought of, especially in the later seasons are so cool! And you remind me of Scully!"
The last comment was addressed to Myka, who blushed.
"Really?"
"I can see that as well," Helena agreed.
"I love this artifact! It's frakkin' awesome!"
Myka and Helena exchanged an amused look, which unfortunately didn't go unnoticed by Claudia.
"Oh no, I've done it again… I promised Artie I would be professional while handling this briefing and here I am, totally geeking out."
"Claudia dear, we like you just the way you are," Helena assured her. "But maybe you could proceed to tell us what's so 'frakkin' awesome' about this artifact, hm?"
"Uhm… thanks. Eh. I mean uh yeah the case… It seems like the kid who played Gibson had this really great imagination, so much so that he acquired the ability to read thoughts, just like his character could do."
"Wow."
"Indeed."
"Yes, but then his ability turned the glasses he wore on the show into an artifact, and it seems like someone recently bought them on eBay."
/
It was Helena's first week back as an active agent. One day she'd simply shown up on the Bed and Breakfast's front doorstep, escorted by Mrs. Frederic, with no explanation other than "I was running, now I'm back. If you'll have me." The "if you'll have me" had been said while she looked Myka straight in the eye, and it had made Myka think that maybe there was a double meaning hidden in the words.
Myka had said yes – of course she had – and a couple of days later came the ping they were presently following up on.
Since they were now five agents, plus Artie, working at the warehouse, they had taken to partnering up with different team members on different pings, the special traits each case presented deciding which agents to send.
The unwitting artifact buyer of the mind-reading glasses lived in Orlando, Florida, and Myka and Helena were chosen to go there to investigate.
Pete had muttered something about their 'trip to the sun' being unfair, but that he would 'let it go' because he and Steve were on another case. Myka however suspected that her partner knew about her feelings for Helena. She had been a mess after their case in Wisconsin and Pete was no idiot. Hopeless romantic and good friend as he was, he was probably secretly wishing for them to get together on the trip.
/
Now Myka and Helena are standing in the entrance to their hotel room. It is a nice room, at least by Warehouse budget standards, but relatively small. Two single beds, two bedside tables with a lamp on each one, and… nothing else.
Myka picks one of the beds, sits down on it and starts to go through the file.
"Darling, you really are all work and no play, aren't you?" Helena asks with a smirk.
"Uh… well I thought it best we got started… we don't want people running around knowing what everyone is thinking, do we?"
"I don't know. I for one have always found the concept rather intriguing."
"Umm yes, so have I… But think about the consequences! What if someone violent finds out they've been lied to? Not to mention all these little things you keep to yourself to spare your family and friends from getting hurt."
"Yes I suppose you're right," Helena agrees with a sigh.
/
They soon find themselves looking through the office belonging to the professor who bought the glasses. Because of course it was a professor who bought them. Myka can almost hear the teasing voices of her old tormentors in her head… Professors are such nerds! Always with their books and their glasses, just like that dork Myka Bering. Well, not hearing those kinds of thoughts was probably a good thing. But then again, that was the way her old classmates actually spoke. Maybe, just maybe, their thoughts were more along the line of I wish I was that smart… That would've been good to hear back then. And just like that, Myka finds the artifact.
She is about to bag it, she really is, but the thought of mind-reading… That is just one of those 'if I could have one superpower'-things. Superpower, huh? she thinks to herself. Pete and his fascination with comics are obviously getting to her. She knows it isn't right, and it's certainly not like her to do something out of protocol, but it feels oh so appealing to get some things confirmed. Myka thinks about her mental check-list: Helena is back – OK. We are back to being friends – OK. Helena has feelings for me – OK? After the Sykes case, she had thought… but then Helena had left, and the next time they met there was a boyfriend and awkwardness and now that it's over she has wanted to talk about it, but she hasn't had the energy to do it. Myka is pretty sure she wouldn't be able to hide her feelings if that conversation ever took place, and she can't handle making herself that vulnerable. Not now, not after everything.
But here is a chance. Myka has an opportunity to find out if Helena has feelings for her – without ever having to mention it, should that not be the case. She takes the chance. Discreetly one of her purple gloves is slid off; she touches the glasses and puts them in her bag.
The reward is almost immediate.
Focus, Helena, focus. My God why is she wearing that white see through shirt? I swear it will be the death of me.
So this was a good idea. Myka holds her breath as the thought sinks in. H.G. Wells is checking her out. Helena is checking her out. She figures she should probably neutralize the artifact, but then again… maybe just a bit longer. For research.
… have to stop staring. She will notice. So perceptive.
Myka feels her heart rate speed up. Better act normal so that Helena doesn't suspect anything. But… a little fun can't hurt, can it? She stretches. Yep. Myka stretches.
What is she doing!? I… oh…
Helena's gaze follows her every move. Then Myka realizes where they are and decides it's probably best to go somewhere else. Somewhere private.
"It doesn't look like the artifact is here. Maybe we should go back to the hotel and go through the notes again?"
Lips. Lips. Myka's lips. Lips.
It's a really good thing Myka has found the artifact because working right now… well that would be hard.
… red, soft, wet…
"Helena?"
"Hm?"
"What do you think?"
Oh no she has been talking this whole time hasn't she? What do I do? Agree? Yes, Myka has probably said something highly intelligent, as usual.
"Yes, let's do that."
/
Since the day is warm (they are, after all, in Florida) and the hotel is close by, they agree to walk there.
They walk in silence, but Helena's mind is never silent and Myka is more than happy to listen in.
Should I tell her how I feel? No. I don't even know if she likes women… but I have caught her watching me with that look in her eyes… Is sexual preference even something you can ask a friend about nowadays? Bloody hell, when have I ever cared about what is proper to ask?
Myka smiles. No, being proper has never been Helena's strongest suit. That is one of the things Myka treasures about her.
… and what do I tell her if she asks why I asked? "Well I was just curious." Really Helena pull yourself together.
I want to smell her hair.
Myka ponders the idea of just grabbing Helena and kiss her right there. It is certainly appealing. Immensely appealing. But… she wants to hear more. And talking about the whole 'being gay thing' is something Myka has wanted to do with Helena for a long time. It just hasn't happened. Probably because (as she now knows) neither of them finds it an easy subject to bring up. Sure, Helena has mentioned once or twice she isn't straight, but it's one thing to offer up information about one's own sexual orientation, and a completely different thing to ask someone else about theirs.
Maybe, Myka thinks, if she can read Helena's mind while they talk, and hear every thought before it's been censored, she can stir the conversation away from awkwardness. She just needs a way to come out to Helena without revealing the bit about hearing her thoughts. Maybe by mentioning something about Dana Scully? The case is after all about The X Files; bringing Scully up might not be too weird.
A buzzing noise puts the question off for the moment, and she motions Helena towards a bench while pulling her Farnsworth out of her bag.
Claudia wants a case update. OK, I can do that, Myka tells herself. She starts to recap what they have done so far, careful not to let out the kind of major detail about having found the artifact already. Then her thoughts gets sort of side tracked because…
I love the way she interacts with Claudia. The way she's always cared for her and mentored her, but never in a diminishing or patronizing way, always valuing her opinion…
Oh dear, I'm in deep.
"Myka are you alright? You seem a bit distracted?" Claudia asks.
Myka naked.
"Hnnnh yeah Claudia. I'm fine! Gotta go!"
Focusing on the case is definitely not going to work anymore, Myka knows that now. The case, right, she thinks, I have already found the artifact. The case is practically over.
But Helena doesn't know that yet.
/
When they get back to the hotel room, Myka slumps down on her bed and picks up a folder. She doesn't really intend to read anything but having her hands occupied feels like a good thing. Helena sits down beside her and grabs some papers as well.
Talking is going to be hard, Myka realizes. But then again, Helena seems mildly distracted and might not notice her currently not-so-sharp mind.
"It reminds me of the work we do… The X Files I mean… not the aliens of course but you know, government agents handling weird stuff."
"Yes, I suppose it does."
Myka takes a deep breath. Now or never.
"Growing up, I always admired Scully… Such a great character; smart, confident, not accepting the men around her to rule her life… I might have had a small crush on her."
A crush? If I am right about this modern day terminology… "I agree. There really need to be more characters like her in popular media. I had of course hoped that by now the patriarchy would be nothing but a memory…" Helena winks to relieve the seriousness of her comment and Myka stifles a laugh.
Myka had a crush on a woman. What does this mean?
"When you said crush… did you mean… you fancied her? You find women attractive?"
I am going to faint. How very Victorian.
"Yes. I do."
Helena doesn't look like she is going to faint. In fact, her eyes are sparkling.
She is sitting so close. Maybe if I were to reach out for that pen and accidentally brush my fingers against her hand… then I might get some inclination as to how she feels about me?
"Why don't you try that and find out?"
"What!?"
Helena sounds horrified. Myka blushes and pulls the glasses out of her bag.
"I might have touched the artifact."
Squeaking is not a thing Myka thinks Helena would ever admit to doing, but the sound that escapes from her throat when she understands the full impact of what Myka is telling her sounds… like a squeak. Helena is suddenly very pale.
"You can hear my… you heard… what did you- … how long?"
Did she get the part about how I cannot stop picturing my hand inside her trousers?
"Oh my God!" Myka breathes, making Helena realize her slipup and cover her face with her hands.
At least she hasn't fled.
"Of course I haven't fled."
I am not thinking. No thoughts. No thoughts. No thoughts.
"Look, I'm sorry for intruding on your private thoughts… but … I'm not sorry about what I heard."
Helena looks up then, cautiously intrigued.
"I think it's time to neutralize these…" They both look away as Myka drops the glasses in the neutralization bag.
As soon as the sparks has died down, their eyes meet and the bag is thrown into a corner. Before Helena has a chance to react, Myka is kissing her.