Passcode Lock

Summary- Ianto and Jack
There's a key to all of Ianto's secrets. A combination on a computer program. The last hope for Jack to figure out why Ianto killed himself the night before. The only way Jack could understand why his love for Ianto just wasn't enough. Hidden by only a few letters of computer code. Computer code that would unlock Ianto's world.

Disclaimer- I don't own Torchwood, or the Welsh poem below. Sadly...

A/N- I have been wanting to write for a while but I have a writers block and school just started. I have literally no time between marching band, homework, and passing out in my world cultures book. So. Enjoy :) I'm going back to sleep now

Jack sat in his office, unable to take his eyes off his coffee mug. The last thing that Ianto did, before he left. The coffee still sits there. Becoming colder every minute. Just as full as when it was set down. Jack didn't know that the long passionate kiss that came with the coffee, would be his last. The colors started to blur as tears streaked down his face. He didn't know that he would find Ianto, lifeless on the floor of his apartment. Jack was alone. Owen and Tosh refused to leave at first but Gwen thought that he needed time alone. She convinced them to go and Jack could only agree. He knew he was going to do something, something terrible, but he would just come back. And he rather not have poor Tosh be there when it did happen. But for right now, he could only sit there. As his vision clouded by vials of tears. He couldn't believe Ianto was gone. He wouldn't believe Ianto was gone. But he was. Jack finally blinked. The tears started to dissipate and Jack eventually stood up. He went over to Ianto's computer and logged in. He had to change the personal file. He had to add a date of death. When he finally typed out the date, something popped up on the screen.

"This thing on? ...hello! Well since this is on...I guess I'm dead. Any other person in the world would find this a depressing topic, but the moment you join Torchwood you realize it's just a fact of life. Everybody dies. And Torchwood doesn't, exactly, have high age expectancies. But since I'm dead I hope it was good. Wasn't something like tripping over a brick or getting poisoned through coffee. Hopefully something more exciting. Like I was riding a unicorn through time and died trying to defend the earth by invaders from Mars. See. Exciting. Anyways, I did have something planned out to say but I don't know anymore. Gwen..."

Jack paused the video. He just took in the sight of Ianto for a while. It felt like forever since he had held him in his arms. He skipped through the video. Ianto was saying goodbye to the others. It wasn't for Jack, it was for the them.
"Jack. God Jack. Saying good bye to you will be the hardest. Because after saying this, I know I can just run up to your office and you'll be there. But you can't. After I say this, I won't be there to comfort you anymore. You'll be all alone. And the times you wake up in a puddle of your own blood, with a knife sticking out of your chest, I'm not going to be there to help you. You shouldn't be alone though." Ianto shut his eyes. Jack could see the tears glistening beneath. "Baby, I love you. But you have to move on eventually. You're immortal. You'll live forever. Don't let me hold you back. You need someone too, just like anyone else. And since I'm dead, I can't be that someone anymore." Ianto looked straight into the computer camera, his eyes looked so full of pain. "I hope you'll remember me Jack, even if it's only for 20 years, please. Remember the Welshman that stole your heart." The screen went blank and another box popped up. It was asking for a password. Jack didn't know what it was, but he wanted to. There was a password hint at the bottom so Jack clicked on it. 'The one good memory' Jack stared at the screen. He wasn't sure. The password could have been any number of words or letters. Jack had to think about all the little things about Ianto. All the words that slipped. Jack realized that Ianto talked in his sleep a while back. Said something about a poem. From what he remembered it was welsh. He tried to think of the title. But he couldn't remember. That's when he heard the pterodactyl fly by.
"Myfanway, you know the password?" Then Jack thought about it. Ianto named the pterodactyl this and everyone else just agreed, maybe that's the password. He typed in the letters and the program unfolded and a note appeared flashing on the screen.

Dear Jack,

Paham mae dicter, O Myfanwy,
Yn llenwi'th lygaid duon di?
A'th ruddiau tirion, O Myfanwy,
Heb wrido wrth fy ngweled i?
Pa le mae'r wên oedd ar dy wefus
Fu'n cynnau 'nghariad ffyddlon ffôl?
Pa le mae sain dy eiriau melys,
Fu'n denu'n nghalon ar dy ôl?

Pa beth a wneuthum, O Myfanwy
I haeddu gwg dy ddwyrudd hardd?
Ai chwarae oeddit, O Myfanwy
 thanau euraidd serch dy fardd?
Wyt eiddo im drwy gywir amod
Ai gormod cadw'th air i mi?
Ni cheisiaf fyth mo'th law, Myfanwy,
Heb gael dy galon gyda hi.

Myfanwy boed yr holl o'th fywyd
Dan heulwen ddisglair canol dydd.
A boed i rosyn gwridog iechyd
I ddawnsio ganmlwydd ar dy rudd.
Anghofia'r oll o'th addewidion
A wnest i rywun, 'ngeneth ddel,
A dyro'th law, Myfanwy dirion
I ddim ond dweud y gair "Ffarwél".

That's my last good memory from so long ago. That's my only good memory from my childhood, to when I met you. If you read what's in here, you'll get why I did what I did. You'll also get that poem in English. I'm so sorry. I love you.
Ianto

Jack started reading about Ianto's childhood. It was all here. None of this was on his file. All the gaps on his file, accounted for here. So many secrets locked away. So much Jack didn't know. He was crying halfway through. Ianto never spoke. His childhood was traumatic. Bullies destroyed his life and both his parents died when Ianto was young. When Ianto was adopted, he was separated from his sister, the only one who loved him. She used to read welsh stories and poems to him. His new parents got very angry with Ianto when he did something wrong. He hid from them on most nights but he couldn't hide from the nightmares. Fast forward a couple years and it was worse. He was getting into things he didn't want to be involved with. Started doing drugs and drinking to cope with his life at home. Had a couple friends, but not much. Torchwood took him soon after to file things away in the archives. Only took Ianto because he didn't do anything else. No one would miss him if a Torchwood accident went on, and he would have no one to tell about the mystical things Torchwood provides. That's when Ianto met Lisa. Jack read through the end. Ianto had started drinking again. But Jack never saw it. Before Ianto killed himself, he was distant. Jack was so caught up in Torchwood, he never noticed. Something had happened, but it wasn't written down here. Jack didn't know and he never would. He could only imagine. Imagine what had happened. Imagine how he could not have seen Ianto, broken. Jack only saw him as the Welshman. The Welshman that stole his heart.

Why is it anger, O Myfanwy,
That fills your eyes so dark and clear?
Your gentle cheeks, O sweet Myfanwy,
Why blush they not when I draw near?
Where is the smile that once most tender
Kindled my love so fond, so true?
Where is the sound of your sweet words,
That drew my heart to follow you?

What have I done, O my Myfanwy,
To earn your frown? What is my blame?
Was it just play, my sweet Myfanwy,
To set your poet's love aflame?
You truly once to me were promised,
Is it too much to keep your part?
I wish no more your hand, Myfanwy,
If I no longer have your heart.

Myfanwy, may you spend your lifetime
Beneath the midday sunshine's glow,
And on your cheeks O may the roses
Dance for a hundred years or so.
Forget now all the words of promise
You made to one who loved you well,
Give me your hand, my sweet Myfanwy,
But one last time, to say "farewell".

-Ianto