Summary: A mistake during a mission puts Jaune in the medical wing.

Shenanigans

RWBY

They say that it is important to live an interesting life with no regrets. That way when you have children, you can tell them about all the exciting things that happened to you before you had them. In turn, they could receive life lessons and learn key things about the world. That is why it is encouraged to live life vicariously.

… unless your name's Jaune Arc. Then most of your stories are how something incredibly stupid you did put you in a hospital, or in this case Beacon's medical wing.

…

Dammit Jaune.

"Dammit Jaune," Jaune said, staring up at the ceiling. "Why does this always happen to me?"

The rest of his team had come by earlier. Pyrrha was fretting over him, making sure he was comfortable and well cared for. Nora tried to keep a face but was utterly failing. Ren, ever the man of few words and keeper of a bro's honour, decided to say nothing.

That didn't stop Jaune from feeling his judgemental gaze.

Sometime later Ruby showed up, and then Blake, and finally Yang. It was only a matter of time before everyone was crowding over Jaune's leg cast, signing and doodling away. By the time the matron had come around to announce that visiting hours were over, Yang and Nora were engaged in a competition to see how hard they could punch his cast without shattering it.

Jaune would be forever thankful that the matron has stopped said game before round two.

And so the crew left, leaving Jaune in a pitiful silence.

"Idiot," he grumbled to himself. "Idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot."

He turned over to his side and closed his eyes. The moment played over and over in his head, each time more humiliating than the last.

"Gah!" he groaned. "Why am I such an idiot?!"

"I've been wondering about that myself since day one," a voice said dryly.

Jaune flopped around to his other side in alarm. "Aren't visiting hours over?"

"I'm a Schnee," she said, pulling up a chair. "Rules tend to not apply to me."

"You bribed the matron?"

"My family pays the matron."

"… touché." Jaune turned back onto his back, sinking into his pillow. "Wait, weren't you supposed to-?"

"His team's here for the whole week," she interrupted. "There'll be more time to see him later."

"Huh. Well, alright then," he said, closing his eyes. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, br- wait, something feels a little off… ah, of course, "You can say it, you know."

"Say what?" Her voice was peppered with false innocence.

"Your lecture."

"What makes you think I'm going to lecture you?" Sweet. Sweet. Too sweet!

"Because you tend to do so. And before you do," Jaune added hastily, "let me just say that there is a completely logical explanation for this inju-"

"You tripped over your shoelaces and fell down a hill."

"W-well," he said. "When you put it like that…"

A sigh. "I don't even know where to begin this time."

Jaune looked up at her. "Strategies."

"Strategies?"

"I didn't know which strategy to use."

"And that caused you to trip over your shoelaces?"

"Yes." Jaune was solemn

"I don't… how-?"

"It was between the Super Ultra Magnificent Jooney Purr Mark III or the Wham Bam Supa-slam Mark IV."

"… apart from your questionable naming conventions-"

"Hey! Ren liked them."

"Ren doesn't like hurting people's feelings," she said, rolling her eyes. "But apart from those, that's the reason you're giving for tripping over your shoelaces and ending up with a leg cast?"

"Yes."

"Do you realise how much more stupid that makes you sound?"

"Did you not catch my idiot mantra a couple of minutes ago?"

"I thought that was just a daily ritual."

"Ack…" Jaune grimaced. "Once again, touché."

"And somehow you're team leader and Pyrrha isn't."

"I'm just happy to be here."

"Yeah, and I bet she is too," she muttered under her breath.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. You should get some rest. The matron's going to come by later with your dinner."

"But… hospital food."

"Quit whining."

"But," Jaune squirmed on the bed. "It's hospital food!"

"Oh for crying!… I'll call in a favour."

"Yay," Jaune grinned up at her. "What would I do without you?"

"Like I said," Weiss sighed, giving him an exasperated look. "I've been wondering about that myself since day one."

Shenanigans Fin

Author's Notes: I do not know how to do story good.

- Narutochaos22