AN: So this is my first Hobbit fanfic, so be sure to tell me how i did! (Sorry in advance for any errors)
This is in a timeline where Thorin Fili and Kili dont die, but are still wounded badly after the BOTFA.
NAMED AFTER AND INSPIRED BY THE SONG: My Immortal by Evanescene
ENJOY!
Bilbo Baggins was finally home. Back in the Shire with his warm and comforting hobbit hole. It was funny though, it didn't feel like home to him anymore. Bilbo felt cold and hollow, like something (or in this case someone) had stolen his heart, after all home is where the heart is, and Bilbo's heart had been stolen by the nephews of Thorin Okenshield. Bilbo smiled fondly as memories of his Fili and Kili play in his mind. Yes his. His because he saw a different side to the one the rest of the company was used too, the side that was always smiling and laughing. He saw the side that was worried, tender and extremely protective over their hobbit. Tears well in the halflings eyes as memories from The Battle of the Five Armies begin to play. Repeating the scene that very nearly took his two lovers away from him.
Bilbo sprints the last few steps two his green door. Wrenching it open and then slamming it closed again, Bilbo collapses on the floor in a fit of sobs. Why can't he just leave them behind?! Why must his memory constantly trick him into thinking they're right in front of him?! It had been two and a half weeks since he set-more like thrown- out from Erebor and back to the Shire, so why did it still hurt so much? He clutches the small metal bead that hung from his neck, given to him by them as a token of their intentions to court him. It was originally made to be weaved into a dwarfs hair, but as Bilbo's hair was a little too short, Fili and Kili had put it on an exquisitely hand crafted chain. The hobbit remembers the time when they had found him in a similar situation in the forest… Him on the floor while experiencing unimaginable pain.
"Bilbo?" Came a soft, yet familiar voice. It appeared directly behind him, causing the Halfling to jump and crawl away slightly.
"Bilbo what has happened?" Came a second voice. This one was slightly deeper than the first, but it was equally familiar. These were the voices that came to him in his dreams.
"Nothing." Bilbo replied, looking down at his twisted and swollen ankle.
Two figures bend down and sit next to him. One looks at his feet, checking them gently, while the other questions the hobbit some more.
"What happened?"
"Well… I heard noises coming from the woods and I panicked. I tripped over a fallen branch and twisted my ankle." Bilbo finally looks up and sees Fili and Kili sat in front of him. They share a look and they take both of his hands.
"You've been avoiding us Master Baggins." Kili starts.
"Every time we approach you mumble an inaudible excuse and scurry off." Fili continues.
"We want to know why. Have we offended you in some way? Do you just dislike our company? Tell us and we shall leave you be." Kili finishes.
Bilbo wished he could tell them how he felt, but the fear of rejection was too much for him, so he tried to subtly change the conversation. "Why do you care so much?"
"We care for you."
"Dwarfs only ever love one person. That person is you Bilbo, for both Fili and myself."
"We have been discussing it for a great deal of time now…" Fili holds out a metal bead on a chain to him.
"We would like permission to court you Bilbo Baggins."
Bilbo swallows the lump in his throat and blinks back the tears in his eyes.
"Oh god yes." He replies in a rush.
The twins grin and they fasten the bead around his neck, tucking it underneath his shirt. They stand up, then with hardly any effort, help Bilbo stand and help him hobble back to the camp.
"Where have you three been?" Thorin asked coldly when he saw them all together.
"We though Mr. Baggins was lost in the woods Uncle." Fili replies as he helps Kili but Bilbo on his bedroll.
"It turns out he twisted his ankle and was stuck." Kili finishes.
"Since you've taken such a liking to the burglar, you two will be responsible for making sure he keeps up. I will not slow down because he can't even watch his own feet."
Fili and Kili nod silently and unroll their bedrolls on either side of Bilbo, and for the first time since starting this journey, Bilbo went to sleep without a single fear or worry.
Bilbo takes several deep breaths before standing up again. He walks to his study and drops his rucksack on the floor with a thud. He gently runs his fingers along the smooth polished wood that has collected a thin layer of duct while he was away. He suddenly bends down and takes out two drawings of Fili and Kili Ori had made for him before he left the Lonely Mountain. He looks at them and smiles softly. This was the only way he would ever see them again seeing as Thorin banished him from Erebor. His hands scrunch in anger as he begins to pace his study. It wasn't his fault Fili and Kili was protecting the fatially wounded Thorin, and by doing so, becoming fatally wounded themselves. Bofur had stopped him from running out to help them. Bofur knew what Bilbo meant to the twins, and had promised to protect them if ever they couldn't.
After the battle, Bilbo had stayed by their bedsides for the duration of their recovery. In that time Fili's heart had stopped beating twice (Luckily though he recovered both times) and Bilbo had cried more times than he'd care to admit.
Bilbo was reading to Fili and Kili. It was the first time since the battle they had been able to stay awake for longer than five minutes. Both dwarfs were happy and smiling, they loved hearing Bilbo's voice, and Bilbo loved the way they resonated light. Light which always seemed to pull him towards them, no matter how dark the shadows are that are holding him. Bilbo looked up from his book and smiled softly. Fili and Kili were both sleeping peacefully. Bilbo gently places his book on the bedside table and walks out of the room they were staying in while they were recovering. Walking down a dimly lit corridor, Bilbo was suddenly thrown up against the cold stone wall. He let out a yelp of pain, but was quickly silenced by a large hand covering his mouth. He struggles and glares up at his assailant. His eyes connect with blue and his blood ran cold. His assailant was Thorin Okenshield, King Under the Mountain.
"You've outstayed your welcome burglar." Thorin snarls at him. "I have only allowed you to stay while my nephews were recovering. You shall receive your fourteenth of the gold and then I want you gone. Never to return nor ever to see my nephews again."
Bilbo makes a noise of protest, but Thorin tightens his hold over his mouth and leans in close. "I AM KING UNDER THIS MOUNTAIN! If you do not do as I suggest, you shall be killed and nobody will even know!"
Bilbo silently nods, his heart filled with fear as tears shine in his eyes. Thorin removes his hand.
"You must allow me to see them before I go though."
Thorin nods, "I want you gone by sunset Halfling." With that Thorin turns away with a flourish of his fur lined coast and walks back down the corridor and out of sight.
Bilbo rest his hands on his knees and struggles to maintain his breathing. After getting it under control and opens his eyes as his wave of dizziness finally disappears. Mechanically he walks to his room and begins packing. Once finished he picks up his walking pole and silently makes his way to Fili and Kili's room. He kisses them both on the forehead gently, covering his mouth with his hand to muffle his ragged breathing and choked sobs. Bilbo all but runs from their room, rushing past the shadows were Bofur was hiding, and where he saw what Thorin had done.
Bilbo arrives at the stables and sees that a pony has already been saddled for him, with a few bags on her back full of food and surplies he would need to get back to Bag End… including the gold. He climbs up onto the horse's saddle and gently kicks her flanks. She walks on slowly. Bilbo pauses in Lake Town briefly to give the men a little of his gold to help rebuild the town. He also looks back at the Mountain. The sun was setting behind it, and Bilbo could distantly make out the figure of a dwarf on a balcony… Probably Thorin making sure he was gone. Bilbo continues riding through the night. He hopes that by the time he gets back to his home the pain will be more bearable… but he should have guessed it wouldn't have been that easy. There was just too much that time could not erase.
Opening his eyes again, Bilbo quickly leaves his study. He walks down dim and familiar corridor's and goes directly to his bedroom. Not even bothering to change, he climbs under the sheets and closes his eyes. Hoping that sleep will bring him a few hours of blissful sleep, but he should have known better by now;
His dream started out perfect. He was walking in the woods with the sun shining brightly down through the trees as a soft breeze plays with his hair. He hears a twig snap and panic and fear grip his rapidly pounding heart. Two dwarfs emerge from the treeline in front of him, and he breathes a sigh of relief upon seeing Fili and Kili. He smiles, but that smile fades when he sees the look on their faces.
"You left us." Kili says unemotionally.
Bilbo frowns and quickly tries to explain, "No. No Kili Tho-"
"We don't want your excuses burglar."Fili cuts in, "It doesn't matter what our Uncle did, you could have slipped on that ring of yours and become invisible. You could have stayed with us."
"He would have killed me!"
"HE COULD HAVE TRIED!" Kili yells back, tears filling in his beautiful eyes. They turn their backs on Bilbo and walk back into the forest, taking all the light with them. Bilbo stumbles after them, trying to catch up.
"No please wait!"
Bilbo woke screaming and sweaty, his breath rages and his eyes frantic. It was now a year since Erebor, and he was still plagued by the same dream, night after night. Bilbo struggled to get out of bed. He hadn't had much of an appetite since he was back, only eating a little here and there, so he was slowly wasting away. Every morning he would wake screaming, then he would wash, change and sit in his armchair until late at night (only on rare occasions getting up to go to the toilet or have something to eat or drink), when he would have another wash, change into his night clothes, have the same dream and the cycle would repeat itself. It was on one of these rare occasions Bilbo would eat, when there came a loud impatient knock on his door. Bilbo stayed silent and ignored it, in the hopes the person would go away and leave him alone… But to no avail. The knocking just became more frantic and loud.
"Alright, alright I'm coming!" Bilbo yelled as he made his way to the door. He unlocks the deadbolt and opens it slowly.
"Bilbo…"
"Oh Bilbo, what have you done to yourself?"
Bilbo blinks back the sunlight, not believing his ears. There in his doorway, was Fili and Kili.
"No… No it can't be them?" Bilbo mutters to himself, "They are far away from me…"
A large hand reaches for his face and gently forces him to look at them. Two kisses were planted on his forehead as he was pulled into strong comforting arms.
"Bofur saw what Thorin did, and told us when he was out on diplomatic duties. He told us he had never seen such a broken look in all his life, and feared for your health… We only packed our clothes and rode for three days." Kili says.
"No matter what our Uncle says, or threatens you with, we will never leave you again. Even if it means they have to pry our dead bodies away from you." Fili finishes sombrely.
A chocked sob escapes the hobbits mouth and he clings to both dwarfs like his life depended on it. Fili and Kili were here… they were home, and Bilbo was complete once again.
A/N: Soooo what did you think?
If you didn't get the story here's a little summery:
Fili and Kili make there emotions clear to Bilbo early on in the journy.
Thorin, Fili and Kili had been wounded badly in TBOTFA, and they were recovering in Erebor.
Thoring recovers first, and because Bilbo basically betrayed him, banishes him when Fili and Kili are definetly going to be ok.
Bofur saw how Thorin threatened Bilbo, and told Fili and Kili while Thorin was away.
Fili and Kili had been lead to believe that Bilbo left them because he had never cared about them in the first place.
Hop that helps a little. If you have any questions or requests, dont be shy to ask!