Confronting Lies, Fears, and Love.
Emma was sitting in her English class. They were supposed to be writing a poem of some type, but she was already finished, now left focusing on how she was feeling. Tired, stressed, and bored. She loved English but right now her mind was taking a toll on her. See here's the thing: there's this girl. Ugh, that sounds so cliché. But nevertheless it's true. Regina Mills: Class President, head of Student Council, Homecoming Queen, and Head cheerleader, AKA Emma's crush and friend since the 7th grade. They weren't really close friends but they certainly weren't enemies. They had a connection that not many people knew about. They don't always hangout and go places like regular people do. No. They hadn't had a regular conversation since Emma's 7th grade sleepover. They shared glances and small smiles and that was enough for them. They brought peace to each other in a way that neither of them understood. However, to Emma, Regina meant more to her than just small smiles and glances. Emma wanted so much more with Regina. And to be honest, to say the blonde had a "crush" on the brunette, was the understatement of the century. And there she was, Regina, sitting at the front of the class with Mr. Gold, chatting as if they were old friends.
Why she was in there and not in her own class, Emma didn't know. But you don't know stress until you're sitting in the same room as Regina Mills and it's taking all of your will power not to stare at the goddess that she is. Fortunately, Emma's thoughts were interrupted by Mr. Gold.
"Alright class. Pens down. I've given you plenty of time to have at least written a few sentences. So, as you all know, Regina here, helps with the afternoon tutoring sessions, and she needs someone to help tutor other students in writing on Tuesdays. Specifically poetry. Now I know we haven't gone over poetry this year yet, but as Seniors, I figure you all know at least a little about poetry. We'll go one by one, reading what we've written and she'll make a decision based on what she's looking for. If you are chosen to help with tutoring, you will be provided with the opportunity to enter a poetry competition."
"Will there be anything else we'll get out of it? And how long is the gig?" a boy named August, Emma's bestfriend, asked.
Regina rolled her eyes and spoke up. "It's for the rest of the year, and you'll get free food." she said.
There were murmurs of complaints and some students seemed to be very interested. However, Emma just wanted class to be over.
"August, since you seem to be in such a talking mood, why don't you come up here and read the poem you have written." Mr. Gold said.
August strutted up to the front of the classroom with a smirk.
"Alright peeps. He said we could write about anything so I decided to write about my art. It's called "Strokes".
"Stroke stroke stroke.
Long strokes.
Short strokes.
Defined strokes.
I paint my canvas. Up and down.
I cannot erase my mistakes.
I can only paint over it and make it better."
Fin."
The class snapped their fingers and August turned to Regina and bowed dramatically.
"That was very well written. Tell me August, what was that poem about?" Regina asked.
August blinked. "Uh art. Duh! I'm an artist Mills. It's about how I paint."
Regina rolled her eyes. "Yes August, I'm aware. But what else could you apply your poem to? Does it have a deeper meaning?"
August shrugged. "Nah it's just about art."
"You can have a seat now." Mr. Gold said. "We would like for you to be able to dissect your poem and explain it thoroughly. Now raise your hand if you think can dissect your poem and such."
3 students raised their hands, including Emma.
"Alright Miss Lucas. Come on up and read us your poem."
Ruby walked up to the front of the class, giving Emma a fist bump on her way up. "Okay, so this is called "Beast"
"Growl. Whimper."
Fin."
She bowed towards the class and turned towards Regina and Mr. Gold.
The class was silent.
"Um Ruby...i...is that it?" Belle, her girlfriend asked. Ruby nodded with a smile on her face.
"Explain." Regina more commanded than asked.
"Well you see, a beast can be threatening. It can turn heads and stop armies. A beast is strong and fierce. But a beast can also be threatened. It has weak points and soft spots. Just like a beast can rise, it can also fall. Just like a beast can scare, it can be scared. And just like a beast can roar, it can also cry." Ruby said, rather proud of her logic behind her poem.
"Nice thought process behind that Ruby. Now tell me why it's wrong." Regina said.
Ruby shrugged. "I know I know, I didn't use enough words." Ruby went to go take her seat, before anyone could respond.
Thankfully Mr. Gold called on the other kid instead of Emma. She honestly doesn't know why she raised her hand. But in all honesty she knew her poem. She knew what she wrote and what it meant. Honestly, poetry isn't that hard.
"Miss Swan..."
Like it's basically just writing what you feel right? Or what you see? Whatever.
"Miss Swan..."
Emma was jerked out of her thoughts by Mr. Gold's voice. When she looked up everyone was looking at her. "Huh?"
"Your poem please? And before you read it, could you possibly tell us what was wrong with Ruby's poem?"
Emma stood up, and headed to the head of the class. Trying her best to avoid looking at Regina.
"Um...okay. Well, to answer your question, there was nothing wrong with Ruby's poem. Poetry is an art form and when you create art, it can't be wrong. That's like telling someone that the way they feel is not valid or incorrect. And THAT is wrong." Emma said with a shrug.
Mr. Gold smiled and hummed in agreement. "Okay Miss Swan. Go ahead and read your poem."
Emma took a deep breath. "Okay, here we go.
It doesn't have to be.
Hard, I mean. Love. Respect. Honesty. Commitment. Life.
It doesn't have to be hard.
And to be honest, it's not.
Loving her? Easy.
Committing to her? Piece of cake.
Respecting her wishes and desires and needs? Simple.
But telling her that I love her?
Telling her my heart, mind, and soul is already committed to her?
Letting everything off of my chest that I've been holding in for way too long?
Well, my friend, it would be easier to fly.""
Silence.
"Um…that's it." Emma said, after no one responded.
"I don't get it." one of her classmates said.
Emma sighed. "Well it's simple. I already know I'm in love with the girl. Knowing is easy. I know I'll be there for her, committed, respectful, and honest. I already know. Look, things are hard but they also aren't. We say stuff is hard, but honestly we're just scared. You're not necessarily afraid of heights, because honestly? You like the view. You're more afraid of falling from those heights. The same goes with the love in this poem. I'm not afraid of falling in love with her...I'm already in love with her, I'm afraid she won't return it. I'm afraid that I'm falling in love with her and when she finds out, she won't catch me. That's simply fear. And facing this fear is harder than flying my friend."
There was a short moment of silence.
"But that's not what this poem is about, is it Emma?" Regina asked slowly.
Emma turned around to see Regina looking at her intently.
"No, it's not."
There were murmurs of confusion around the room.
"Tell us what this poem is really about then, Miss Swan." Mr. Gold requested.
"It's simple. I'm a liar. I say that I'll be honest with her, but by keeping this secret and not telling her how I feel, I'm not being 100% honest with her am I? No I'm not. I'm a liar."
Before anyone could respond, the bell rung, dismissing class and school finally being over.
"Okay class! I'll see you all Monday! We'll start going over poetry next week! Have a good weekend."
Emma hurried back to her seat and gathered her things. She was tired and honestly just wanted to get home and chill. She was about to catch up with her friends who had already headed to the parking lot, when a hand grabbed her wrist. She turned around to see Regina looking at her.
"Hey, I want to talk to you for a moment. Do you mind walking with me to my car?" the brunette asked.
Emma shook her head and walked with Regina. "So what's up?"
"If you would like to, I'd like you to help with the poetry tutoring after school on Tuesdays. I really liked your poem. You seem to know how to dissect feelings and thoughts."
Emma gaped and smiled. "Thank you Regina. I'm no Shakespeare, but I'd be happy to help."
They walked in silence for a while.
"Then why won't you be honest?" Regina randomly asked.
"I'm sorry?" Emma turned to look at the brunette.
"If you know you're lying to her by not telling her how you feel, then why won't you tell her you're in love with her? Why won't you be honest?"
Emma shrugged and leaned against Regina's car. "For the reason I said. Fear. What if she doesn't return it?
Regina looked the blonde deep in the eyes. "But what if she does? What if you find out she felt the same way and you missed the chance to tell her? You can't let fear hold you back."
Emma looked at Regina for a long moment, trying to decide if she would finally confess her feelings to the brunette.
"Okay, how about this. If I face one of my fears, you have to face this one. That way you won't feel like you're doing it alone." Regina said with a smirk.
Emma smiled. "Okay, but you have to go first Madam Class President. So what's your biggest fear?"
Regina swallowed hard and avoided Emma's intense gaze. "My biggest fear...is loving someone. Because I become vulnerable and I don't like being vulnerable. So I guess I could say my fear is more so being vulnerable."
Confusion crossed Emma's face. "I understand that...but how exactly are you gonna face your fear of being vulnerable?"
A small smile spread across Regina's face. Before she knew what was happening, red lips collided with Emma's pink ones. Emma leaned into the kiss but it was soon ended by Regina pulling back.
Emma stood there in shock. A tingling sensation still moving throughout her body. "W..wh...wha-" Emma stuttered, trying to form a complete sentence.
"You, Emma. I like you...like is actually too light of a word. But nevertheless, You make me feel vulnerable. Which is crazy because we haven't even spent that much time together over the years of being in the same schools, but every time I'm near you or around you? I feel...free, and my walls are ready to come down when I'm around you and I don't understand how you can make me feel this way. We've never even really hung out outside of school. We've never even sat together at lunch for crying out loud. But...do you remember that sleepover we had at your house in 7th grade? When your mom invited all the girls from our class over?" Emma nodded her head. Of course she remembers that. That's when she knew she had a crush on Regina. That's when she realized how breathtaking the brunette was. "Well that was when I first realized how you made me feel. We stayed up all night talking and you let me sleep in your sleeping bag, and I loved it. I've known since then that you make me feel things, but I never wanted to accept it. I couldn't allow myself to feel vulnerable. I didn't want to feel it. It scared me. It still does. But 5 years later, and you're still the only one that can make me feel safe and nervous at the same time."
Emma lunged forward capturing the brunette's lips. The kiss was passionate and this time Regina didn't stop the contact early, Emma did.
"Regina, my poem is about you. You're the one I'm committed to. You're the one I respect. You're the one I love. You're the one I've been lying to. Ever since that sleep over. It's always been you. But I was so scared that you wouldn't like me back that I just...didn't say anything. And you always acted weird around me, so I just assumed..." Emma shook her head. "I'm an idiot when it comes to you. You make me feel...warm inside and it feels like my body is being invaded my butterflies and it's scary but also intriguing. It's a feeling that i try so very hard to ignore every time I see you or hear your voice during the morning announcements. When I walked in Gold's class today and saw you sitting on his desk like you ruled the world, I literally turned around to run out, but Ruby grabbed my jacket and pulled me in class. I was literally running from you Regina. Because any other day, hour, or second, I'm in control of what I do and say, but the moment I get around you...when you look at me...when you smile at me...everything in me seems to dance around and forget how to act."
There was a long silence. Both girls standing there hand in hand thinking of what to say or do next. How do you go from small smiles and glances, to kisses and holding hands and declaring love for each other? I mean, I guess it's not completely ridiculous, but it is most definitely surreal.
"What are you thinking?" Emma asked.
"I'm relieved. I knew that when I kissed you, there was a chance you'd reject me. I knew that there was a chance that the girl you were in love with was someone else, but I went for it anyway. I'm glad I went for it…I'm also thinking that, I'm no walk in the park Emma. I'm not an easy person to be with. I'm not a walk in the park...more like a drizzling rain." Regina responded softly.
Emma tilted Regina's chin up to make eye contact. "I'm glad you went for it too Regina. And I'm no walk in the park either. You know what I do when it's drizzling in the rain? I go outside and I dance. I dance in the rain Regina. And I'd be more than happy to dance in the rain with you until the sun comes out."
Regina smiled widely. "I would respond to that, but it was too perfect to comment on. So I'll just ask, what are you thinking?"
Emma laughed. "Well I'm thinking that I probably should have told you how I felt sooner, because I love seeing that smile on your face."
Regina giggled. "Such a Charmer. So...would you like to go out with me tonight?" Regina asked shyly.
Emma blinked and grinned slowly. "Like...like on a date?" the brunette nodded. "Yeah...yeah, most definitely. On one condition though."
Regina eyed the blonde suspiciously. "I'm listening."
"No more lies. No more hiding feelings from each other. No more fears holding us back from one another. We tell each other the truth and we listen to each other. Deal?"
Regina grinned. "Deal. But I have one more thing to add."
Emma raised an eyebrow. "Shoot."
"We have to help each other face our fears. No matter how small or big they may be. I don't care if it's 15 years from now and we're married and have kids. If one of us has a fear of something, even if it seems ridiculous, we will help each other through it. Deal?"
Emma smiled. "Deal." The blonde opened Regina's car door and watched the brunette get in and settled. "So...you think we'll be married in 15 years? Where do you think we'll go for the honeymoon? You think it'll be good?" Emma jokingly asked, wiggling her eyebrows at the brunette.
Regina rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Oh Emma, our honeymoon would be beyond anything you could imagine." the brunette winked. "Now go home and get dressed for our date tonight." Regina leaned out of the window of her BMW and gave Emma a kiss on the lips.
Emma watched as Regina drove away. She started walking to her own car, her mind filled with many different ideas and images of what a honeymoon with Regina would be like. "Man I love that girl..." she said aloud before she drove off.
A/N: Should i continue this? or leave it as is? Let me know! I hope you guys enjoy it!