Author's Note/Some things that didn't fit in the summary: Yes, this story is a little AU. Lily was sorted into Ravenclaw, and has always been rather shy. The confrontation with James after Fifth Year's O.W.L.'s never occurred and Lily's falling-out with Snape happened of its own accord when Lily finally got fed up with Snape's actions and apparent ideals. Feel free to ask any questions you might have if you are confused. Also, please review; I love receiving feedback (advice, reactions, favorite color… anything really).

Obligatory, yet somewhat unnecessary disclaimer (I mean, this is a fanfiction website, is it not? We would not be here if the original story was ours.): J.K. Rowling is our queen. I am not her, and therefore the Harry Potter series and attached ideas, characters, and events are not mine. Only the plot (and some characters) are mine.

"Lily! It's my turn, cover me!"

"I - I don't think I can, Clara. I'm exhausted; the patronus took a lot out of me. Just let me go get Alice or Dorcas."

"But the Death Eaters are retreating! We'll lose our chance!"

"We had our chance, and we succeeded! I think it's time to get off the roof and go back into the common room before Flitwick comes to check on us!"

The wind howled around them, and Lily took a step backwards to steady herself. It was cold on top of Ravenclaw Tower, so cold she could feel the chill in her bones.

"Lily, just one minute. You can hold a protego for a minute."

Lily could see Clara's pleading face, her eyes darting from Lily to the Death Eaters on the ground, who were scrambling to get away.

"Clara, did you SEE that patronus? I don't have the strength for anything else!"

Pause. Lily tried again.

"It's not safe!"

"It was never safe!"

"But at least we had a plan! They're going, they're scared, our plan has run out! The Aurors should be coming!"

Another pause. In the dim light, Lily could see that Clara's shoulders sagged.

"Oh, fine, let's go-"

FLASH.

Lily's eyes widened as she saw her friend engulfed in a purple light. The tower trembled from the strength of the blast and shook them both from their feet. In a panic, Lily grasped the trap door in the roof, and reached out for Clara's hand.

"CLARA! GIVE ME YOUR HAND!"

All she heard was gasps.

"CLARA!"

"I'm alright, just a little scraped! I'm holding on! Give me a second, I can almost reach my wand!"

"FORGET YOUR WAND, GIVE ME YOUR HAND!"

"I can almost reach it!" Lily heard some gasps and grunts and then suddenly, "There! Got it! Okay, here!"

Lily reached down below her, and felt around in the darkness for the hand being offered to her. She scrunched her eyes up tight and gripped the soft extremity. Her eyes flew open. The hand didn't feel right. There was something sticky and warm coating the fingers making it impossible to pull Clara up. Lily's eyes bulged.

"Clara. Clara, please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

"I'm FINE! It's just a scratch!"

"I can't see it, and I can tell it's more than that!" Lily heard a gasp of pain as she yanked upwards.

"JUST PULL."

But it was no use; Clara's fingers were sliding out of Lily's hand. A moment later, Lily could no longer feel the presence of her friend's hand in hers. She hazarded a glance down, tears already silently sliding down her cheeks.

Below her, she could see a figure falling, falling, falling down to the distant ground. She couldn't tear her eyes away, even when she heard (perhaps she imagined the sound - Ravenclaw Tower being one of the tallest) the distant thud as Clara's body crashed into the earth.

Lily woke up with a jolt. Her guitar, previously resting on her lap, slid onto the floor of the train compartment, smashing the body and snapping two strings. She shivered, still feeling the chill from the previous June's battle.

"Are you okay?"

Lily started again and nearly fell off her seat onto her smashed guitar. She focused on her two friends in front of her in her train compartment.

Dorcas Meadowes sat nearest the door where a book lay on her lap, forgotten. Her long brown hair was shut between the pages almost as if she was using it as a bookmark, and her eyes were big, staring at Lily. Alice Fortescue sat next to Dorcas near the window, and on her jumper was pinned a shiny badge with the letters "HG" inscribed on the front in blue and bronze.

Lily considered lying. A simple "I'm fine," would have sufficed, but her friends would have seen through it immediately. These girls had shared a dorm with her since First Year, and knew her closely (if not as well as Clara had). So instead, Lily just settled with, "No. I don't think so," and bent down to retrieve her guitar. She turned it around in her hands for a second, surveying the damage, and then slowly waved her wand over it, carefully knitting the material back together.

Alice looked at her pityingly, and tears came to her eyes, no doubt knowing exactly what Lily was referring to. Dorcas looked around, not knowing how to respond, so she slowly opened her book and went back to reading.

"You know it's not your fault," Alice stated quietly.

"You weren't there! I should have had the shield up! I should have been paying attention!"

"You were exhausted. If anyone's fault it's ours for not forcing you to rest after you cast that massive patronus."

Dorcas looked up and interjected, "Are you ever going to tell anyone that was you? The prophet's been scouring the school trying to find out who cast it, and I'm sure I saw at least 20 Aurors questioning other Ravenclaws."

"I don't need the attention. I'm more than happy to let them come to the conclusion that Clara cast it on her own."

Alice raised her eyebrows. "Really? I mean, there were thirteen Ravenclaws who tried to claim that patronus - I counted. You're going to let them steal that from you, especially when you want to be an Auror when you graduate?"

"I… I'm not sure I want to be an Auror anymore. Maybe I'll just…" Lily bowed her head and went back to fixing her guitar, her red hair shrouding her face from her friends' views. Even without looking she could tell they were exchanging significant glances. When she said it, she knew they wouldn't believe her, and she anticipated the indignant questions that were sure to follow. She thought back to her summer, and quickly changed the subject.

"So, Alice, Head Girl? Does this mean you get your own room now? Are you going to abandon Dorcas and me to sleep alone in our slowly emptying room?" Lily meant it as a joke, she really did. It shouldn't have sounded so bitter, but with Clara gone…

Lily had been offered the position of Head Girl. She couldn't remember a time when she hadn't been working for it. Her grades were the best in her class, but only because she worked for it. Even with this ambition in mind, when she saw the badge alongside her Hogwarts letter in the bulky envelope, she froze. In the past when Lily had thought about being Head Girl, she had always thought that Clara Blackshaw would be standing there beside her to help her through the sudden influx of attention. Lily knew she would need Alice and Dorcas in the coming year, just to get through each day, so she had declined. She had declined so that she could spend each night near her close-knit friends. And now Alice accepted and left her behind.

Alice didn't seem to notice Lily's bitterness, but Dorcas shot her a questioning look, which Lily promptly ignored.

"Yes, I am. Get used to it," Alice cheerfully replied, "Anyway, you won't be alone; you have Sharon, don't you?"

Lily and Dorcas made faces at each other. Alice went on.

"Guess who I'm sharing with? You'll be jealous."

"The Head Boy?" Dorcas quirked a smile.

"Ha ha, Dorcas. Be more specific."

"Oh fine, let's see. Clarence Smithers?" Dorcas asked distractedly as she tried to pay attention to the conversation, her book, and Lily repairing her guitar all at the same time.

"Oh, shut up. Don't make me gag. If you don't want to guess, fine. I'm sharing a common room with James Potter."

Lily nearly dropped her guitar again, and Dorcas' mouth hung open, forgetting entirely about her book and Lily's guitar.

"I know, right? How great will that be?"

Lily was quiet. She continued repairing her guitar, but this time, her heart was threatening to jump out of her chest. Mentally, she chastised herself. She shouldn't fancy him. She couldn't fancy him, but this didn't change the fact that she did. She had for the last three years. Maybe it started when she heard him humming under his breath as he strolled past the Black Lake. Or maybe it started when she realized that he could light up any room with only his presence. However, if she was being completely truthful, she would say it was when she sat in the direct middle of the classroom, blending in. Unnoticed, she could observe how he smiled at his friends. He treated them as family - the family that Lily wished she could have - and yet, there was something else. She could see that there was something deeper there, and it intrigued her.

In the end it was Dorcas who asked, "Pretty great, but what about Frank? I thought you were seeing him."

Alice just laughed.

Lily gripped her wand tighter.

"I'm still seeing him, but he's off at Auror training. Who knows how he will have changed when he gets back?" With the last sentence, Alice's voice had dropped significantly. "What if… What if he doesn't -"

"Don't even think that!"

Both Alice and Dorcas turned startled to Lily, who they seemed to have forgotten about.

"You have a wonderful boyfriend who loves you very much. You should have seen his letters this summer. It was all 'Alice this' and 'Alice that.' There is no way he is forgetting about you."

It was true. Frank had taken the time to write all of them during the summer even though they hadn't really known him very well when he was at Hogwarts. He had always been "Alice's boyfriend." Lily imagined that he would be proposing as soon as Alice graduated.

Lily sighed to herself. What she would give for a relationship like that. She could imagine arms around her, but she had never felt it except from her parents. She could imagine holding hands and walking by the Black Lake with someone (something in the back of her mind whispered James), but she doubted that she would experience it soon, if ever. She had been imagining for the better part of three years. If she were asked what her biggest flaws were, first she would mention her inability to protect her friends, and then she would say her imagination. Her imagination hurt more than it healed, but she wouldn't stop using it. Not as long as she lived. Even though it hurt, it had saved her, and it would continue to.

"Thank you," was Alice's whispered reply, "I hope so."

Just then the train slowed and the girls began to gather their things. Lily struggled with her guitar case. She had learned last year that although trunks were transported to the dorms, the same could not be said for musical instruments, and as Lily had inherently objected to the shrinking of her guitar (lest it should distort in any way), she would have to carry it up to the school and keep it by her throughout the feast.

Lily was about to step off the train after Alice and Dorcas when a terrifying and lonely thought raced through her mind.
"What is it?" Dorcas had stopped and looked back.

Alice, noticing that neither Dorcas nor Lily were following her, also stopped and looked back.

Lily felt like her knees were going to buckle. She couldn't move her leaden feet another inch, and she clutched her guitar case in her right hand so tight that her knuckles were white.

"I'm about to see a thestral," was all she said.

Alice carefully pried the guitar case out of Lily's right hand and took the hand in her own. Dorcas already was holding Lily's left hand. The three took a deep breath and headed off to Hogwarts as one for their final, Seventh Year.