I know I haven't written one of these in ages, but, what the hang? Lol... inspiration struck, so... Here we go.
--
Mark walked around the loft, filming whatever he could find, trying to amuse himself as his best friend got ready for the Christmas party. "December 24th, 1991, 9 pm, eastern standard time... From here on in... I shoot randomly, see if it speeds up time... because Roger takes longer than most women do getting ready. Zoom in on Roger's door... it's very prettyfull, covered in angsty love songs and numerous sticky notes." Mark turned his camera off, and just stared at the door for a while, fantasizing about the man behind the door, with his long, luscious blond hair, his perfect face, his sculpted body...
Suddenly, the loft's door slid open with a BANG, causing Mark to jump and lose his train of thought, and Mimi stomped in angrily. "COHEN! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM?" The dancer shrieked.
"I swear to god, your thongs ended up in my room ACCIDENTALLY!" Mark shouted back. Mimi raised her eyebrow and tilted her head. "I was talking about my shoes, you pumpkin head... but I will talk to you about the thongs later. I am missing my sparkly pink stilettos, the ones I saw you ogling the other day. They are the only thing that goes with this outfit. Now, tell me. Where are my shoes?" Mimi asked menacingly. Mark just shrugged.
"I don't know... have you checked on your feet?" He asked. Mimi looked down at her feet, which were bare.
"I can't find them anywhere. If I don't have them, and you don't have them... then who has them?" She asked. Just then, Roger opened the door of his room, dressed in a fluffy pink bath robe, his hair in curlers, singing to himself and dancing
"So I put my hands up, They're playing my song, And the butterflies fly away. Noddin' my head like yea, Movin my hips like yea I got my hands up, They're playin my song I know im gonna be ok Yea, It's a party in the USA. Yea, It's a party in the USA!" He was interrupted by Mimi and Mark clearing their throats at the same time. Roger blushed. "YOU GUYS ARE THROWING OFF MY GROOVE!" He whined.
"Oh no! We've thrown off the pissy rock star's groove! Everyone, stop what you're doing because we've thrown off the washed out rock star's GROOVE!" Mimi yelled angrily. Roger winced, expecting Mimi to chuck a shoe at him, like she usually does after outbursts such as that. When no shoe was thrown, Roger stood up straight.
"Why didn't you throw a shoe at me?" He asked. Mimi sniffled and pointed at her feet.
"BECAUSE MY SHOES ARE MISSING, YOU INSENSITIVE JERK!" She cried out. There was a puff of smoke, and then Maureen, fully decked out in detective gear appeared, chewing on a toothpick.
"Did someone say that something was missing? This sounds like a job for Maureen Johnson, Private Eye!" Maureen exclaimed. Mark slapped his forehead, and Mimi and Roger looked up at the crazy cow woman with matching expressions of horror.
"NO! Nothing is missing!" Mimi said nervously, not wanting Maureen to help out. Maureen scratched the back of her head.
"That's funny... I could have sworn... Hey Mimi, where are your shoes?" Maureen asked, pulling out her spyglass. Mimi opened her mouth and closed it several times like a fish. "They're... uhm..."
"They're on her feet!" Mark interjected. "But you can't see them, because... uhmmm..."
"Because you can only see them if you've been hit on by Benny!" Roger exclaimed. "Which you obviously haven't been." He added as an afterthought. Suddenly, Maureen's bottom lip started quivering.
"It's because I'm a lesbian, isn't it? That's why Benny hasn't hit on me! I knew it! I knew it! I hate him! I hate that bald freak! Him and his stupid bald head can go EAT A COW!" Maureen cried out, stomping her way out of the loft. It was silent for a few moments until...
"Well, I think that went very well." Mark commented. Mimi and Roger nodded in agreement. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, so Roger went over to open it. He slid it open, but no one was there. There was only a box with Roger's name scribbled on it, and an abnormally large green bow on it. He picked it up and brought it into the loft.
"Hey guys! I think that I got a Christmas present!" He yelled. He opened the box and saw a white rectangular paper resting on some green tissue paper. Roger picked up the paper and read it.
My dearest Roger,
I have recently acquired this from one of my unworthy tenants. I hate this tenant with a burning passion. I really hope that you enjoy them. I picked them out, personally, from this tenant's closet. There were several others I could have picked, but these just screamed 'Roger Davis- Sex God'. I hope that you enjoy the bow, I picked this one because it matches your eyes.
Love, Benny-Wenny
PS. DUMP THE TRAMP!'
Roger dropped the note and removed the tissue paper from the box, and then squealed happily. "NEW SHOES! Awe, Benny's the best!" Roger exclaimed, pulling out a pair of sparkly pink stilettos from the box. Mimi glared at Roger, and Mark smiled happily.
"Mystery solved." Mark said.
--
I hope that you enjoyed reading, because I sure enjoyed writing. Please review! Reviews are like sex! Very pleasurable!