1. Alone in the Dark

Stonepaw awoke in the silence of the apprentice den. It was just before dawn, and Willowpaw, the den's only other occupant, was already out for the dawn patrol. Shivering and stretching, he knew he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, so he poked his head out of the entrance of the den into the silent camp. There was no other cat around, and frost lay thickly on the ground of the clearing, broken only by the occasional pawprint of the recently-departed patrol. Stonepaw's breath made clouds in the frigid air. The pine needles of the surrounding trees were covered in a delicate lattice of ice, twinkling in the false dawn light. It was deep leaf-bare in ShadowClan camp. Picking his way carefully across the frozen ground, Stonepaw came quickly to the top of the hollow in which the camp was situated. At the top of the rise, he spared a quick glance back to his sleeping Clan, but then he was off, the excitement of a new dawn filling his pawsteps as he sped through the pines. Soon enough, he came to the thunderpath near the carrionplace, now entirely covered with the frost of a chill dawn. The delicate layer of ice flashed suddenly as the sun came over the horizon, and Stonepaw looked away, blinking. The warmth soaked into his black and gray tabby fur. How he loved these calm, silent mornings, where he could do as he pleased without bossy warriors to order him around, without Willowpaw telling him off all the time, without his mother, Dawnhope, fussing. He sat by the lake a little longer, but the knowledge that soon the others would be up, the day begun, forced him on. Besides, he'd promised Flight that he'd meet her at dawn, and it was past already!

When he reached their secret spot, a little cave made of bushes hidden away in the slope of a hill, she was there waiting.

"Wondered if you were coming at all," she said by way of greeting, a twinkle in her bright blue eyes.

"'Course," Stonepaw responded, his pleasure at seeing his friend evident in his tone.

"Well, we don't have much time," said Flight, shaking out her tortoiseshell coat and flicking her tail at him. "Shale'll notice I'm missing soon."

It was their time together that made life bearable for Stonepaw. Flight was a loner, her and her father Shale living together in the hills outside Clan territory. Stillpaw had met her when he'd gotten lost, a few days after he'd been apprenticed. He had wandered outside the Clan boundaries – which Flight and Shale were always careful never to cross – and ran into Flight, hunting rabbits in the bushes. After their initial surprise, the two had fallen to talking and become firm friends. But Flight was careful never to let Shale know. "He'd want me to stop seeing you," she had explained, but never said why. Stonepaw had never seen Shale, but he was scared of him all the same. He didn't want to have to say goodbye to Flight.

It had become their ritual, at the start of the day, to sneak away and meet in their secret den. They'd talk and play there, but it was always too short a time.

"Why don't you come join the Clan?" asked Stonepaw, sitting down and wrapping his tail around his paws to ward off the chill. It was an old debate.

"I won't leave Shale," said Flight firmly, as she always did. Stonepaw couldn't understand why, she seemed to dislike him so much, but that had normally ended the argument. Today, though, he had a plan.

"Shale could join too. Easy." he said smugly, although he didn't enjoy the prospect. Still, Flight was worth it.

But to his surprise, she still shook her head.

"He hates the Clans. He warned me to never go near them. He says that you, that you 'corrupt everything you touch'."

"That's not true!"

"I don't know! He must have a reason. If he found out I was friends with a Clan cat – " she cut off with a nervous hiss.

"If he's so mean to you – "

"He's not! He's just had a hard time with the Clans, is all."

"What did we ever do to him?"

"I don't know! But it must be something – "

"That's ridiculous; we never mess with loners."

"So are you calling him a liar, Stonepaw?" Flight was immediately hostile.

"I – no! Just – it's your life, Flight! Make your own decisions. What do you want?"

"I won't leave my father! He's been through enough already."

Stonepaw was a little hurt by the promptness of her answer. "So . . . you're choosing him over me?"

She became instantly contrite. "Oh no, Stonepaw! I still see you, but if I left . . . I'd never see him again. Don't you understand?"

"But it's just these short, rushed chats every morning now and then. I don't see you . . . not really. Please, Flight."

She shook her head. "No."

Stonepaw felt crushed. "Well. O-okay, then."

Flight sighed. "Well, what about you leave your Clan and come live with us?" she said, flicking her ears back.

Stonepaw paused, his mouth open in a snappy retort, but then Flight's words sunk in. Leave the Clan? Become a loner? No, not a loner. He'd have Flight. And Flight was better than the endless patrols, the hungry hunting without being allowed to eat your own prey, the condescension of the warriors and the sarcasm of Willowpaw.

"Alright," he said.

"See? You couldn't leave your family either – what?" Flight suddenly realised what he'd said.

"Yes, I'll come with you," said Stonepaw. Confidence was filling him with every spoken word.

But Flight's eyes went wide and she opened and closed her mouth, looking for something to say. She didn't look excited, as Stonepaw felt. She looked horrified, and he soon realised why.

"You didn't mean it." She shook her head slowly. "You just wanted to prove your point. You thought I wouldn't say yes." There was a horrible, terrifying emptiness inside him all of a sudden; the place which Flight had once filled.

"Stonepaw . . . "Flight's eyes pleaded with him. "You wouldn't like life as a loner. It's so different from the Clans'!"

"You don't think I could cope?" Stonepaw's voice sounded hollow in his ears. "Or that I wouldn't try? I think that leaving Shale's not your problem. I think it's loving me."

"Love?" Flight looked a little startled. "Stonepaw, we're so young. There's no such thing in our world."

"Yours, maybe." Stonepaw was morose now; he'd realised too late that Flight really had been more than a friend for him. "But there are other kinds of love. Aren't I your friend?"

"Yes! But – I like my life as it is. It works for me. Don't please ruin it, Stonepaw. I haven't been happy in so long."

Stonepaw would ordinarily have stopped at this point, but he was different now.

"You don't care about me. Why should I care about you?"

"Stonepaw, I do!" Flight was angry now. "But – Shale!" This ended in a gasp. Stonepaw spun around, Clan battle training making him drop instinctively into a battle crouch. And the sight of the huge tom pushing his way through the bushes into their hideaway just made him more nervous. He was slate-grey, strong, with a long scar over his left eye and a torn ear. His eyes too were the colour of rock, and just as cold.

"Shale, I – I . . . " Flight stammered, eyes wide. But to the surprise of both young cats, Shale just smiled, sadly, it appeared to Stonepaw.

"No need to be so scared, Flight, dear one," he said. His voice was quite rough, but Stonepaw could hear the music still in it.

"I'm not here to tell you off."

"Then . . . you're not angry?"

A laugh. "Why would I be angry you're making your own life, Flight?" Angry, no, but there was sadness in his eyes.

"What . . . ?"

"Oh, Flight, I knew I'd lose you one day."

Flight looked stunned, but Shale didn't seem to notice.

"The allure of Clan life is always strong. I know. And it's especially tempting when there's someone there for you as well."

Flight glanced, somewhat guiltily towards Stonepaw, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"How did you know?"

"Flight!" Shale looked exasperated. "You've been sneaking away almost every morning for how long? Can you imagine how I couldn't notice?"

Flight looked somewhat put down.

"But, dear one, I knew this would happen. You could never be happy with just your old father for company."

"Shale, of course I could – of course I am! What are you saying?" Flight was distraught.

Shale shook his head. "You don't have to pretend for me. Don't worry, love. You can go. Join his Clan. Be happy."

Stonepaw's heart gave a sudden leap, but he forced it back down. He couldn't let himself think this might change her mind, couldn't let himself hope . . .

"No!" Flight's emphatic rejection of the idea startled her father and crushed Stonepaw.

"Flight, you have to go. You have to be happy. Don't let me ruin your life!"

"I don't want to."

Stonepaw turned away. He couldn't take it anymore. Flight was his heart, his life, his love – his all. And she had turned him away.

Shale suddenly lost his look of complete assurance.

"But, Flight . . . "

"I want to stay with you. Please, please don't make me leave! I don't want to live in the Clan!"

"Not even with me?" Stonepaw croaked. His voice stuck in his throat. Flight squared her shoulders and bit her lip. Shale looked at Stonepaw, his eyes full of sympathy and sudden understanding, though Stonepaw knew he'd support Flight all the way – as he should. But he knew that Shale somehow understood.

"No, Stonepaw. Not even with you."

"Stonepaw . . . " Shale said quietly to himself, and he looked suddenly far far away, in the past. Then he flinched, and an ugly expression crossed his face.

"You're right, dear one. The Clan is not for you." he said harshly, glaring suddenly at Stonepaw. He couldn't fathom what his name meant to the big loner, but it had shattered what little good opinion he had gained.

"Let's go." And Shale left the broken bushes, crashing a new trail out through the walls of their hideaway.

"Goodbye, Stonepaw. I . . . don't think it would be a good idea for me to come back, 'kay? So – so I won't be seeing you again. But . . . ah! Goodbye." And Flight left after her father, angry tears clouding her eyes. Why had they all misunderstood? But Stonepaw . . . he'd been a friend, but he could never mean half so much as her father. It had been good while it had lasted, but – she was glad it was done. Things had really just gone on too long.

Stonepaw didn't know how long he stood there, in the broken bushes. He could hear his name being called in the distance, but he couldn't respond. His world had gone dim, and there was no-one else there with him. No-one at all.

Willowpaw found him first. An apprentice missing; the whole Clan had turned out to look for him. She scolded him firmly before the rest of her patrol got through the bushes. They were the ones who realised something was wrong; Stonepaw wouldn't respond to their questions, wouldn't look at them, and in his eyes was the awful knowledge of something lost.

Time passed, and things got better. But Stonepaw could never forget Flight, and even when he became Stoneheart, and took an apprentice of his own, he would always feel as if he was alone in the dark.