I do not own Roswell or any of the characters. No matter how much I wish to...

I should really be continuing the chapters on my story that I should be writing about now but I had this stuck in my head. I hope you enjoy this at any rate.

WARNING: Slash. Well, not too much, more of Michael's thoughts rather than actions...kind of. Set during Season One. Anyway, enough of my ramblings the pairings are:

Michael/Max with mentions of Max/Liz Max/Tessa and Michael/Maria

This is a two shot - next chapter will be Max's POV.

Part One

I lie awake and listen to you sleep. I wonder if you ever realise what I do. A part of me hopes you do but the other, much larger part, wishes that you never find out. It would be harder too, I think, if you knew. I turn on my side in the sleeping bag. It smells like you. I bury my nose in it and inhale. You smell like grass and Tabasco hot sauce. I grin into the fabric softly at that. I close my eyes and imagine you covering your food with the sauce, even more so than what I would use, and I smile every-time. I hide it though, especially when we're at the CrashDown.

The CrashDown. That reminds me of Liz. Your precious love. It hurts to think about that but I can't stop but think about all the times you've been with her. I remember when you saved her life. I didn't want you to because I knew how you felt but you did so anyway. I let you believe it was out of fear of everyone finding out what we are. Maybe part of it was in a way, but it was not what first came to mind. It didn't matter anyway in the end, you told her our secret. I know i'm acting selfish, but it was something that we shared together, not including Isabel. I honestly thought that she would spill our secret; she only told Maria and Alex.

Slipping out of the thin sleeping bag, I sit up. I look at you again but your head it turned away. I don't move. You confuse me sometime, do you know? That's one of the things I like about you even when it frustrates me to no end. You're the only person to ever make me feel the way I do. It both scares and excites me. I wonder if it's wrong to feel this way, but in the end I find that I don't care.

I rub a hand over my face tiredly, but know I won't be granted anymore sleep. You allow me to stay here whenever I have a fight with Hank or because I just wanted to talk. Sometimes you don't even ask but just let me in before you go back to sleep. It is times like these that I think about what could be. I know I shouldn't but I do anyway even if it creates more heartache. You're worth it. I should stop coming and you should stop letting me in to stay. I know i'll be too tempted one day and give in to kiss you while you sleep.

You say that I let my emotions control me, but I think it's the other way around. I may be more reckless but you allow your feelings to get in the way. A bitter smile finds it's way onto my face as I think back. You allow your feelings, your love for Liz has compromised everything. You really love her and that hurts me more than I wish to admit. She loves you too. I can see it whenever she looks at you. I hate the thought. There's nothing I can do, is there? Too much has happened now I fear. You and Liz, myself and Maria. There's something.

Maria, my girlfriend you could say. My stomach drops slightly at the thought of her. She's different and unpredictable, not like you. I like her, but I don't love her. Definitely not as much as I love you. I can still see your face even now when I told you about Maria and I. I hope I really did see the jealousy that flared up in your eyes. I enjoyed telling you what we did together just to see that again. I don't anymore, though. I thought that I saw hurt in those times and I didn't like it.

I don't register getting up and moving to the side of your bed. I only realise what I have done when I kneel down at the head of your bed. You are truly beautiful when you're asleep. I won't call you handsome because you're so much more than that. I don't mean in the conventional way either. I sound sappy now and I blame it on my lack of sleep. I'm glad that you cannot read my mind, for if you do I doubt you'd ever speak to me again. I believe that you would be disgusted with me. I can't stand the thought of that. It's too late now, though, you'll realise soon enough. I think Isabel has, but she won't tell. It doesn't seem to bother her anyway.

I hurt you when I went to Maria instead of you the night I left Hank's.I had to get away and you were with Isabel. She would act like an over-protective mom. I didn't even realise where I had gone to until I saw her in the window. When she held me as I fell asleep, I pretended that it was you. It was always you. It will always be you. I can never be rid of you. I must be masochistic.

You appear to be oblivious to my feelings and I think that is for the best. If I have to see you and Liz together...but it makes you happy. Or it did until Tessa came along. Not only did Liz's heart break the day that you kissed her. Mine did slightly too. It shouldn't have. You weren't mine in the first place, but it did anyway.

You breathe evenly and your chest rises and falls slowly under the covers. I stand back up and lean over you. My hands are on either side of your face now. your head moves slightly with the weight and you are now facing me. My heart skips slightly. It always does now when i'm with you. I move closer to you and feel your breath on my mouth. I hold my own. I didn't want you to wake. I bend my arms so that our mouths are nearly touching. I torture myself with this. The temptation. I've finally given in. You won't know what i'm about to do. You're asleep and I hope you don't wake. For if you do i'll find myself facing disgust and anger. You'll never hate me though, I know that much. You're too kind-hearted to feel that in my opinion.

I shrug away my worries and steel myself before I close the gap.

I touch your lips.

End of part one...Please review.