"Just Once More"
July 23, 2006
A/N: Short, thoughtful one-shot I decided to do because tomorrow is my birthday, and I'm lazy, and I have finals to study for, and I haven't even had a chance to update anything else. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: (insert here).
Many times I've passed through this grove of trees, ducking under branches, leaping over upturned tree roots. I'm not sure why I've ever really liked to come out here, in the middle of no where, to have my peace. I suppose I just like it that way.
Today should've been like any other day, but we had a fight. And it wasn't just any fight really. Actually, I don't think we fought about anything at all. Probably something to do with training or Trunks or some immaterial crap. Or maybe, we just fought over the stress we're both going through.
To him, life just became dull, with one less goal.
To me, my childhood died. Literally.
It's hard to think that tomorrow it'll be my birthday, and my dearest friend won't be around to celebrate with me, to poke fun at just how much older I am. Yes, Goku died, only a week ago, come tomorrow. What a lousy present. Every time I think about it, I feel like I should be crying, or screaming, or shaking my fist at Kami…but nothing comes. Weird, that I, who usually cries and bitches the most, have no outward form of release. I haven't shed one tear since the funeral, when I was so sure I'd be locked up in our room for days on end, shutting out the world. They don't understand. No one will ever understand.
Chi Chi calls just about every day. She's probably lonesome, with Gohan gone, beating the pain away, and she only being a few months along. I can't imagine how she feels, just like she can't imagine what I'm going through. She says she's never loved someone so much, like she loved him. I don't doubt that. I never will. But Goku was my best friend, the only true friend, I think, that I ever had. She's coming today, you know, because she can't stand being in that big house, cooking aimlessly. I don't think I've ever seen her quite so busy. It doesn't matter anyway. There's no one home to appreciate her.
Vegeta…I don't know how he feels about this. He's never liked Goku, that much I know. Their friendship, if one could call it that, was more of a love-hate type of thing. But I think they understood each other best. Oh sure, I've known Goku for ages and ages, and I know him the best. But Vegeta understands Kakarot, that warrior buried beneath all of that goofiness and good-heart. Goku understood Prince Vegeta, the façade that covered up just plain ol' Vegeta. It's a shame really. Here I was, thinking that I was the only one getting the stupid ape to open up. In all truth, Goku started it. And now that he's gone, it's like we're at square one all over again. He hasn't trained since that cold, rainy day. I'm afraid that every single one of us has been hit one way or another by Goku's death. It's almost as if he were the glue that held us together.
No one's called, you know. Yamcha used to stop by every day, despite Vegeta's death threats. Tien and Chaotzu are in the mountains somewhere, for good I think. Krillen is sticking it out with Master Roshi, over on their island, close to Chi Chi if she should ever need them. Piccolo is off meditating somewhere, with Gohan training under his watchful eye.
So it's just Chi, Vegeta, Trunks, and myself. We're such an odd family. If Goku were here, he'd prolly get a kick out of all this. But no, he just had to get taken out, by a stupid virus, no less. Hard to imagine that the unbeatable, invincible Goku would get toppled over by a microscopic being.
Darn it all.
"So here you are," I jumped slightly from my seat on the ground. My hands have gripped the dirt as if it were my only lifeline. I glanced up, catching Vegeta's dark gaze. Trunks is perched on his hip, looking down at me, puzzled, most likely, at him mom being in the dirt.
"What is it?"
He snorted, a habit I've grown used to. For him it has many meanings, such as amusement, or annoyance, whatever. I think all Saiya-jins have a habit like this. Goku used to just quirk his mouth in a weird way. If there's one thing this warrior race does not possess, it's a way with words.
"She's here," he muttered, using his free hand to motion towards the compound. I only nodded, standing up and wincing as all my bones popped. My mind was only slightly purterbed at being disturbed. No matter. I'll have plenty of time to muse over these things again.
We head back towards the house, arguments forgotten. Funny how sad turns in life change your daily routines. Where we would pick up a fight where we had left it, we choose instead to let it go. It's like the life has been sucked right out of us. Who knew one soul could have such an effect as this?
Yes, tomorrow is my birthday, and there will be one empty seat at the table. Only, it won't be filled an hour later because he's off saving the world. It will be empty till we can join him, up in heaven. Death is never selfish in whom it chooses. It loves to take those that you wish you could spend more time with, laugh once more with, hug just one last time.
I gripped Vegeta's free hand as we passed the GR. We stopped short of the door, turning towards each other. There's an unreadable look in his eyes, almost as if he were thinking the same as I. "Never leave me," I whispered, finally feeling a tear trickle down my cheek. His hand gave a reassuring squeeze before he kissed me.
"Never, I promise."
And so we turned, going inside the house, to comfort the still grieving Chi Chi. Or maybe we're seeking that comfort from a woman who has already been through this before. I'll never know. But it's just like Goku had always said, after his first encounter with Death—"You've got to live every moment, as though it was your last." Our angel has gone away, but we've still got one guardian angel left.
Later Goku. I know you're waiting up there for us. Be sure to watch out for our little planet, just like you always have…you goof.
A/N: ok, so maybe this fic didn't have a direct point. It'll kinda be a little side note to this fic I'm writing (future timeline). Yes, this one-shot is part of the future timeline, as Goku has died from the heart virus. Everything else will be explained in that fic I'm writing, which might be out when school starts.
And yes, Bulma's thoughts kinda zigzag this way and that, but I think that's how she coped with Goku's death. She's a tough woman, but I'm certain that even his death took its toll on her mind for a while, especially since he died from a measly virus.
Ah well, hope y'all enjoyed. I'll try to update my fics soon (no promises though!).
Ja ne: Pearl