Doubtless

A UKHK Fanfic
Rated M

Fanfiction commission for charmedtalisman (Tumblr)

Hong Kong was sitting across England, sipping his tea. The kind of tea he drinks is almost always different from what England drinks. England drinks English tea, like English breakfast, or Earl Grey, but Hong Kong drinks Green Tea, or Oolong. In a way, it's his little, but somewhat playful, rebellious act against England. Sometimes, they would talk to each other about mundane things, or profound things, or even silly things. Sometimes, they would enjoy each other's quiet company. Every afternoon, there was always tea, and every afternoon, they would drink tea together.

He observed the way England drinks his tea, the way he crosses his legs while he reads the daily paper, how he usually leaves the tag of the tea bag on the right side of his cup… Little things like that. He's quiet, and silent waters run deep. He was observant to the tiniest detail. He can't even stop himself; he doesn't even voluntarily do it. He just watches him, and the information registers in his head, and realizes that he's noticed these things when it's already far too late.

He tries not to notice! He really tries. He doesn't want to admit that the little things England does, from the cute things, to the peculiar, to the mundane, have stuck to his brain, and every day, he learns more about him. After all, that's what living with someone does to you, right? But it's another story when you start to develop feelings for them.

Hong Kong sighed and shook his head. No, no. He quietly chided himself for being so foolish. He'll never admit it, not in a million years. Lest he risk England looking down on him or acting harshly towards him for the way he feels. Hong Kong is just a stranger to this whole game. He is quite young, while England… Oh, he is another story altogether. He was a former empire, and he's already old, one of the older nations in fact, not to mention, romantically and sexually experienced. But all those years have left England hardened, and dense, whether intentionally or not, he doesn't know.

England and Hong Kong finished their tea a bit later, and England excuses himself to clear the table. Hong Kong politely offered to wash the cups for him, but England turns down the offer. He retreated to his room, shut the door, and didn't come out until dinner time, when he had to stomach whatever concoction England managed to screw up.

"Hong Kong, what do you think about my new dish? I just learnt it today." England said, sitting across the table, facing Hong Kong with hopeful eyes. He was always one to seek for opinions about his cooking, most preferably a favourable one. What he cooked for tonight was some ghastly looking slab of meat, hardly identifiable through all those charred parts. It was as tough as rubber, and as hard as rock. The gravy poured onto it was inconsistent; it was thin and then lumpy in some places. Hong Kong winced but thankfully, England did not notice. He tried to slice some, and then eat it.

"It's okay." Hong Kong said casually in between bites. Luckily, he was trained enough to take this like the real British colony he is. He wondered how England's former colonies actually endured this.

Hong Kong randomly spaced out in the middle of dinner, and England tried to get his attention. "Hong Kong, are you all right?" He asked worriedly. Hong Kong snapped out of it, and nodded before looking away. He suddenly got lost in thought, thinking about him and England, maybe Hong Kong trying to teach him how to cook. It would be cute, he thought. He used to live with China, after all. He must've picked up a thing or two. Or three, four… It was enough to get him by with decent cooking.

England looked at him a bit strangely before going back to his dinner. When Hong Kong was done with his meal, he thanked him for the food (even if it was utterly horrible) with a mutter before hurriedly heading off to his room, shutting his door, looking as if he wanted to retire for the night. England shook his head and sighed. Maybe he's going through one of those phases or whatever.

Hong Kong got ready for bed, and hurriedly climbed into the bed, burying himself under the sheets. No, no, no, stop thinking about him. You don't want to like him, remember? He's your coloniser, for God's sake! The mere idea of you even liking him is totally improper and unthinkable. He won't reciprocate. He scolded himself over and over until he sighed, gave up, and slept.

The next few days, he would go out to the garden, sit outside, and appear spaced out, when really, he was thinking about England. Then he would get some tea or maybe a light snack, bump into England, but not really say much. He normally really didn't say much, other than the occasional 'hello', but at that time, when England talked to him or asked him something, his answers were shorter or quite vague and avoiding.

Until England confronted him about it, it stayed that way. England brought it up during their traditional afternoon tea time, "Hong Kong, are you all right? You seem quieter lately, and more shifty." He frowned lightly.

Hong Kong frowned back. "I have no idea what you're talking about, England."

"Oh? Really?" England said testily. "You may not notice it, but I do. Is something up?"

Oh, it looks like he got caught. Hong Kong tried to rack his brains for something, anything to deflect this question. It was too direct and confrontational. "Nothing is up, England. You're worrying about nothing." He's not going to give himself away so easily. "What are you even noticing?"

"I already said it. You space out more often and talk less. You're quieter than usual." England pointed out. It was true, and Hong Kong knew it. In his defence, though, he's not even loquacious to begin with. But if it was a change enough for England to see, worry about, and point out, maybe it is noticeable enough.

"Maybe I'm meditating and being philosophical. You just don't know." Hong Kong shrugged. England sighed; it was typical of him to answer like that. Sometimes, he is just like that. He jokes a lot with England, light, casual jokes. Nothing of the funny sort, just playful countering.

"Well, I'm worried." England raised a brow. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He only said that when he was genuinely worried. It irked Hong Kong a bit, but of course, he showed no reaction towards that.

Hong Kong decided he would tease him a bit. "Playing mother again, England? I'm all right, mother; there is nothing to worry about." He sounded like he wanted the conversation to be over, or to switch topics, at least. He doesn't want to tell him. Especially not now, he's just not ready for that. And he doesn't know when he will be, either.

On another day, after breakfast, England asked Hong Kong, "I'm going out to buy groceries, would you like to come along? I need to buy milk, eggs, bread, meat, and vegetables. Maybe you'd like some other things."

Hong Kong was pre-occupied reading a book on the couch. "Oh. All right, then." He replied and nodded noncommittally without even looking up from his book. When they got to the supermarket, Hong Kong only picked up more Oolong tea, and a new bottle of shampoo since his last one was running out. On the drive home, England turned on the radio. It was rare for him to turn the radio on to play some music while driving. It was playing some ballad song they were both familiar with. England sang along absent-mindedly.

"You don't usually turn on the radio when you drive." Hong Kong remarked casually, raising an eyebrow at him. He tapped his finger along to the beat, something he does subconsciously.

"I don't?" England turned around to look at him quizzically for a second, then back at the road. "Hm, maybe so. You noticed?" The corner of his lips twitched up to smile a bit.

"I notice lots of things. A lot of things you do, even."

"Why? Are they peculiar things?" England asked, looking alarmed. If there was anyone conscious about their self-image, it was England.

Hong Kong leaned his head against the window. "No, not really. It's not just the peculiar things, actually. It's pretty much anything. I don't even try to notice. It just sticks in my head on its own."

"Why so?"

"I don't know." Hong Kong paused for dramatic effect. "Maybe it's because I like you." Hong Kong said jokingly with a tiny smirk, even if it was true. He hoped England recognised it as a joke and nothing more. Please, nothing more. Well, that's too bad, since England tended to over-analyse things. Add to that his incapability of recognising some jokes.

"Do you?" The joking tone flew past his radar, and he took it seriously. "Well, um… I…" He inhaled deeply, trying to look like he only had his full attention and focus on the road. England mentally prepared himself. "I like you too. But I didn't say anything because I thought you wouldn't return it." He frowned a bit, mainly to himself, though. His cheeks were pink and his fingers were gripping the steering wheel tighter, something he does a lot when he's nervous. Another thing Hong Kong noticed about him.

Hong Kong stayed silent for a few moments. "England, I'm glad you didn't think I was joking." Hong Kong smiled, looking at him. "I thought you didn't like me back, either. Since, well, I am your colony and all."

"Well, that's one thing we have in common, then. Ironic, isn't it?" England chuckled. "Silly, though. You being my colony doesn't really hold much water right now."

"It seems I have worried myself over nothing, then."

He parked his car in the driveway of their house, and they both unloaded their groceries, exchanging light smiles along the way, as they went back and forth from the house.

They placed the newly-bought items in their proper places before they both sat on the couch together. England said, "Maybe you should have confessed to me sooner."

"Maybe I should say the same for you." Hong Kong countered.

England shook his head and said, "No, I don't think I would have ever confessed in a million years." He laughed nervously. It was true. England was quite dense, and he doesn't usually make the first move. "I'm glad you were the one who got it out in the open. If you never did, and we never knew we felt the same way, I would never have gotten the chance to do this..." He then leaned forward to gently kiss Hong Kong on the lips for a few seconds. Hong Kong kissed back, and he silently hoped there'll be more of that soon, or that it'd last longer. He pulled back, leaving the colony flushed, and quite pink in the face.

Hong Kong smiled a bit, which told England that he liked that, and it was okay between them to do that. It was not official, there aren't any labels, but it was common ground they shared.

In a few minutes, they found themselves in a comfortable position on the couch. They were lying down next to each other, Hong Kong's face against England's chest, and England's face buried in Hong Kong's soft, brown hair, as they dozed off with content smiles on their faces, napping until afternoon.

Hong Kong was really relieved, though. He thought England would not take too kindly to his feelings, him being his colony, after all. Although the confession was quite weird, at least he got it off his chest.

I really like you, England.

I'm not denying it anymore; I'm admitting it now.

…and I'm glad you know.