My first story coming up! AU-story, as canon as possible. Read to find out who is what and where is why :-D. Judging and reviewing after reading ;-).

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor will I ever do, Harry Potter. Sad but true, it is all J.'s...

Prologue – The first tears

1981

It was cold, windy, rainy and perfect for this one day. The rain wasn't pouring down, just slightly teasing the ground with its touch, and tempting the earth with water, but it was still a little uncomfortable for the people wandering outside the village, which was littered with rather small individuals, who were dressed funnily. They had capes and weird pointy hats on, some had empty pumpkins filled with good-smelling candy and there was one zombie with a vacant expression, a few ghosts and even a black cat.

Two miles away from the village there was a field, that was at the same time experiencing an unusual occurrence: a flying motorbike came from the skies with little noise, which was surprising considering the condition of the bike. On top of the bike was the rider, who was laughing. It sounded like barking, to be perfectly honest. The rider wasn't wearing a helmet: his face was visible in the faint light of the evening, dark hair with glowing gray eyes, laughing lines at the corners. A handsome face. Before him sat a little girl who was, unlike the man, wearing a helmet. Apparently the girl's safety was more important than the man's, since she was also pulled tightly into the man's chest with a warm coat on her.

They landed smoothly and kept on going on the road towards the village that had no idea what was coming into their midst. The man's smile grew wider and underneath the helmet you could see the girl smiling the same smile of enjoyment. The man slowed down when they drove nearer the village, Godrick's Hollow, and when they reached it he started pointing out funny things, like the zombie and a witch – that one had the girl laughing for some reason.

Sirius Black slowed down even more when he was a couple of streets from James and Lily's house because he wasn't in a hurry. In fact, he and Ariana were doing something very unusual for both of them – being early for something. But Ria was anxious to see Harry and tell Lily about something (she never did tell him what it was) and show James the new move she had pulled on her toy-broom yesterday. She had practically towed Sirius out of their apartment to his bike. Scary for a two-year-old of two days. It had always been like that, Ria was so grown up even at the age of two while her father was desperately trying to keep his girl as a child, even in the midst of a war. James said it was funny how Sirius, the most childish Marauder, was acting like a very responsible father. Sirius smiled a little cruelly when he thought about that comment because James didn't know how bad Mary was getting. She wasn't acting like a responsible mother, hence Ariana's need to share something with Lily, her godmother. But they had time, Sirius had to think like that, because otherwise his feared Black temper would come out and start yelling at Mary to actually take notice of her own daughter instead of just being afraid of everything. Yes, they were in the middle of a war but that didn't mean they had to stop living, Sirius thought angrily.

He looked down on Ariana, who was always called Ana by everyone except Sirius. Ria was his little star. Rather ironic when considered the fact that the Black family named their children after stars like Sirius, or galaxies like Andromeda, and when the tradition is broken by the black-sheep of the family (again the irony), the child has a star in her eye. Ria was a beauty in the traditional Black way: dark hair, gray eyes, high cheekbones, even features… Sirius wondered why he was even contemplating this, usually he didn't care. Maybe it had something to do with Ria's birthday that had been two days ago and went without a notice from her grandmother. The live one, Mary's mother had died two years ago. He hated his family so why did he feel disappointed when his mother didn't try to meet her only grandchild? He had tried so hard not to care but still he had somehow thought that motherly instincts would rule even his mother. But then again, maybe this just proved that the witch had no heart. She hadn't even come to her own son's funeral. Sirius felt the grief once again at the thought of his brother. Regulus, who had, at the end, come to his senses and switched sides. Regulus, who had died not six months ago.

Ria twitched suddenly in front of him and Sirius slowed down entirely when he felt the tug on his sleeve. He looked down with raised eyebrows and met the frightened eyes of Ria's and felt panic once again.

"What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" he asked in a rush while moving his hand to his wand.

"Something bad, Dad. Feel strange, something missing", she answered through the helmet she had on. She frowned and wrinkled her nose in confusion. Sirius felt cold, because this wasn't the first time Ria had had one of these feelings. And she was always right. "Harry scared", she finally stated with a nod. "Hurry."

Sirius pulled one arm around her while he kicked up the engine and started driving faster. He knew not many people would believe Ria but after she had known that Lily was pregnant (by stating she was growing big and happy and that she was eating for two) Sirius had asked Dumbledore what was going on; why did his not-even-one-year-old daughter predict and know something like that, he had gotten the answer that she was just very bright and developing early. Both in magic and in life. Needless to say, Sirius could and did believe his daughter was capable of this.

He felt anxious. Why was Harry feeling scared? Where were Prongs and Lily? They were safe so what was going on. He and Ria finally got to street were the Potters lived and there Sirius could see what was wrong, dreadfully wrong.

The right side of the top floor had been blown apart, pieces of the wall were scattered around the yard among Harry's toys and the front door was blown off. Sirius didn't know if he imagined the smell of smoke or not, but it burned his nose. His eyes blurred when he stopped at the front gate, like he always did. He pulled his wand out and scooped up Ria and held her tightly, not wanting to let go. Anyone could be here, he wasn't going to risk her life by leaving her alone. He yanked the helmet off and could hear Ria muttering "empty" and started running to the house screaming Prongs's name, and calling out Lily. But he got no answer.

He came streaming inside and then he saw it, the sight that turned his blood cold and his eyes to tear up even though he never cried. James was lying in the hallway, eyes empty behind the glasses which always had been a little lopsided. Sirius didn't feel anything, his legs gave and he knelt beside his best friend and brother, shaking uncontrollably. They had always been closer than just best friends. They had considered each other the brother they never had, even though Sirius technically already had a biological brother. Or had had. Ria tumbled out of his arms and for once Sirius didn't realize this, until she took James's hand and said softly "Uncle Prongs". Sirius felt the tears fall down his cheeks, when he reached out his hand and closed James's brown, kind eyes that would never again meet his own with that little sparkle that showed him they were yet again thinking the exact same thing.

Sirius looked, without really seeing, at James and remembering how he six months ago came home to find the Dark Mark above his house and Regulus dead inside with empty eyes and terror written all over his face. Regulus had feared for Ria, who was with him at the time, but he had protected her, she had been okay. But Sirius had lost his biological brother. And now another, perhaps the one he had been closer to. He couldn't remember getting up, but when he did, Ria was already running up the stairs. Sirius looked at James and started running after his daughter, to find Lily and Harry although he feared this even more than he had feared for James. Lily and Harry had been James's everything, if they weren't okay he would always blame himself, even in heaven. He had been the protector of them all.

Sirius heard the scream and this made him run faster than he ever had in his life. He ran into Harry's room and collapsed right there on doorway. Lily was lying on the floor with the same glazed eyes as James, her long, red hair streaming around her. Ria was shaking her, trying to get her to wake up, even though she had to know it was useless. She kept screaming "Aunt Lily, Aunt Lily" but for the first time in her life, Lily didn't answer back with a kind word.

Then Sirius heard the cry. He looked up at the same time as Ria and he saw a sight that made him cry all the more because it was the last thing he expected to see. Harry had risen and was standing up in his cot, crying and holding out his arms, when Ria ran to him. The instant their hands connected, Harry quieted and just sniffled with his eyes still wide. The two of them had always been close, rather like siblings than just plain friends. Sirius got up and walked towards the children, lifted Harry out of his cot and pulled him tight towards himself, wanting to make sure he was okay, he was alive. Then he put him to the floor where Ria pulled him into another hug. Harry stood there, green eyes, Lily's eyes, wide and still scared. Sirius didn't think when he closed Lily's eyes, lifted her in his arms and started carrying her downstairs. He could hear Ria and Harry following but for the first time in his life, he wasn't thinking about Ria first. This moment was for James and Lily, the people he had considered as his family, his brother and sister-in-law. He carried Lily to the hallway and laid her beside James. Why he did this he couldn't say, he just felt this was right, this was something he had to do.

He turned around, not wanting to look at them and feel the raw pain that was starting to crack the earlier numbness. He walked upstairs with a sense of helplessness. At the landing he saw Ria and Harry, both with the same air of loss and confusion he himself was feeling. He held out his arms for both of them, they climbed into his arms and tightened their arms around him. He went once again downstairs, passed Lily and James and went into the living room where he put down Ria. Harry wouldn't let go of him, while Ria wanted space. She sat beside Sirius with unfocused eyes staring into something Sirius could not see.

Suddenly Ria started shaking and her face showed utter terror while her eyes were getting wider and darker. Sirius panicked, he could feel his own terror rising, the raw pain he was feeling multiplying when he saw the grief on his daughter's face. Her eyes were nearly black now and Sirius could see a bloody tear forming in the corner of her eye. He pulled Ria into his lap, trying to shake her out of this but nothing happened. Harry, who was still so little that he couldn't understand much, understood that something was wrong with his friend, his sister, and started crying again. Then she started screaming, she screamed for Lily and while Sirius sat helplessly just holding her another bloody tear formed in the corner of her eye. As he watched the bloody tears fell down her cheeks and onto the floor, where they turned into two roses with blood-red petals. Then Ria stopped shaking and screaming and sagged against her father, while her breathing tried to slow down to normal.

Sirius hugged her, hugged them both for a long time until he felt they were both as okay as they could be. "What happened, my little star?" he asked gently when he felt Ria was calm enough. She never liked it when people rushed her. "You're okay, right?"

"Yes, Daddy. Me fine. I saw what happened. Not nice", she said with a small voice that didn't sound at all like her. "The bad man came. Took away Aunt Lily and Uncle Prongs."

"You mean Voldemort?" Sirius asked shocked.

"The bad man", she repeated.

Sirius felt pain, loss, numbness and finally rage. If this had happened there was only one man who could have done this. Only one man with the tools to betray his friends and sell them to Voldemort. Peter.

How could he have been so stupid as not to see it? It wasn't Remus, it had never been Remus. He wasn't the one who was dirty, he had been a friend. It was Peter, the quiet one, the one who was perhaps the most prone of them to cowardness, and now cold-blooded deceit. There was no way a true friend would betray his friend to a murderer. And he, Sirius, had helped him in that. He had… He had suggested him as the Secret Keeper because it was the most diabolical explanation, the least likely. He had helped the traitor.

As Sirius sat for a long while with the two silent children, there finally came a noise from the outside. He stood up, without even bothering to wipe his tears off his face, grabbed the wand from the table next to the sofa, could see it was James', but knew he wouldn't have cared if it kept them safe, and went to the hallway with the children left in the living room. What he saw wasn't a Death Eater though. It was Hagrid.

"What-. What are you doing here?" Sirius asked, while still pointing the wand at Hagrid. He knew it was him because no one could imitate the presence that was Hagrid, plus someone had once told him that Hagrid was half-giant, and thus Polyjuice Potion didn't work on him. But right now he didn't trust anyone. "Who sent you?"

"Dumbledore", he answered before he started sobbing when he saw James and Lily. "He… He sent me. To see what's happened."

By then he was crying so hard it was hard to understand him and Sirius wasn't in the mood to even try. He was tired, he was emotionally drained, he felt like he had nothing to lose, nothing to give. "Why?"

"What're ye mean why?"

"Just that. Why did Dumbledore feel it necessary to send someone here, today?"

"Don't know. Jus' told me. And I do what Dumbledore asks. He heard rumours of You-Know-Who being defeated. Here."

Any other day Sirius would have been glad to hear these kinds of rumours but not today. Today was turning out to be the worst day of his life. And he had had his share of those already.

"How're ye here?" Hagrid asked when he finally calmed down, he had always liked Lily and James.

"Ariana and I, we were on our way to spend Halloween with them, you know. Lily was- She was excited about us doing it the Muggle way", Sirius explained when he felt the tears starting to fall again. "When we came, we saw the roof, the front door. Ria was getting that feeling again, knew something bad had happened…"

Hagrid, who had been present at the Order meeting where Ria had told Lily she was pregnant, just nodded stiffly and looked at the still bodies of Lily and James.

"What's going to happen?" Sirius asked Hagrid, for once feeling the helplessness that showed his years of one and twenty. But Hagrid wasn't looking at him but at something behind his back. When Sirius turned to look he saw Ria and Harry who had come out of the living room when they heard a friendly voice. Ria was keeping Harry slightly behind her, just like she had heard Sirius tell Mary to do when you weren't sure someone was a friend. She also had a wand in her hand, he could see with a glance it was Lily's wand. He felt sad at the thought of a two-year-old, so used to war that she knew what to do when danger came.

"Daddy?" she asked hesitatingly. "Okay to come?"

"Yes. It's just Hagrid, he's fine."

"Harry tired. Me too."

"I know. It's going to be okay", Sirius came forward and once again took both kids into his arms. He saw Hagrid, but his vision was getting blurred.

"I'm sorry, Sirius", he heard Hagrid say. He just nodded back, unable to speak. "Dumbledore tol' me to get Harry. He's to go to his aunt and uncle."

"What? No, I'm his godfather, give him to me. I'm supposed to look after him. He's going to be fine with me", Sirius recoiled fast while his eyes flew open. "Lily's sister hated her, she always said so. She's not going to take care of him. I was always supposed to take Harry if something happened."

"I know", Hagrid said sadly. "But Dumbledore's orders. Ye know him. Never could tell what's going on in 'is mind. Great man though, Dumbledore."

Sirius couldn't help himself, but for the first time since the age of eleven, he felt anger towards Dumbledore. So it was okay to send Harry to someone, who was going to hate him because of his parents, but not to someone who would love him? They were never going to let Sirius, or Ariana, visit him. They would lose him.

"Why would he say that?"

"Don't know. Jus' need to get him there."

It was useless, Sirius knew it. Hagrid was loyal to Dumbledore and if he told him to do something, Hagrid would do it or die trying. He was just going to hope there was a really good reason for this. And that Dumbledore would give it to him, instead of talking about how it was better for everyone not to know just yet. Albus was annoying like that.

"Fine", he sighed. "But take my bike, it's going to get you there faster."

"Thanks. Ye wanna say goodbye?" Hagrid said. Sirius knew he didn't mean to be disrespectful, he just didn't think at this point. And if he wasn't nearly blinded by tears already he would have told him so. Just not today, so he just nodded. Ria was looking at him with sad, understanding eyes.

"Not forever goodbye, Daddy. Just a while. We'll see him again", she said comforting him. Sirius was once again struck by the majority of his daughter, that never failed to surprise him. "Promise?" she continued and looked at Hagrid, who nodded.

"Yeah. Hogwarts, remember?"

"See, Daddy. Ten years, not so long."

Ten years can be a life-time, he thought to himself. I met Prongs, Moony and-. I met them ten years ago. And my whole life has changed. And it's Prongs' son. He's going to grow up so fast, and I won't see it. I've already lost so much, why him as well. But there was no point in arguing, Hagrid wouldn't budge and if it kept Harry safe, Sirius wasn't going to say no. "Right, star. Ten years will fly by and then you'll see Harry again. But right now you have to say goodbye."

Ria hugged Harry. Sirius knew she was feeling the loss as keenly as he was, after all, he and Prongs had always tried to get them to be like brother and sister, instead of just friends. But she was such a Black, not showing it. It was frightening really, how she managed to keep her feelings in check, but that was what a war did to a naturally resilient child. Ria let go of Harry and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"Now I know if Harry not okay. He safe", she said. Sirius didn't have the heart to tell her it would probably not work, just nodded. He gave Harry a last squeeze before letting go of him and holding him out to Hagrid, who took him gently into his large hands. Sirius couldn't follow them out of the house, he couldn't make himself watch them leave. So he stayed behind, hugging Ariana until they heard the sound of the engine start and then fade away. Sirius felt Ria touch the necklace he always had on, the black dog Moony made him for Christmas in sixth year. Prongs had one of a brown stag, also made by Moony. He should take it and keep it for Harry, Prongs would have liked that. He walked over to him and gently took the necklace that had been the identifying mark between the Marauders, pocketed it carefully and walked out of the house. Later he would think about the funerals and all that, but now he had to take care of something. He had to take care of a traitor.

Sirius Side-Along apparated with Ariana to their apartment. For once, he thanked Alastor for his obsessive, paranoid training, because it meant he had an emergency kit always at hand for quick getaways. Thank Merlin Mary wasn't home, because that way she stayed safe.

"Go get your important things, star. We have to leave. We're not safe yet", Sirius said to Ria, who quickly ran to her room. Sirius, on the other hand, went to the cupboard and pulled out the bag he had hid there for over two years ago and hoped never to use. He wrote a quick note to Mary to tell her where they were going. He heard Ria's footsteps behind him and turned to see her stuffing a photo of him, Prongs, Harry and her into a bag Moony had given her just two days ago as a birthday-present, the one, only she could put stuff into. She stuffed Lily's wand into it as well and it was then, that Sirius realized he was still holding Prongs' wand. Wordlessly he gave it to Ria, who put it into her bag. Without thinking Sirius grabbed his uncle Alphard's old wand from the cupboard and gave his own to Ria. She looked at him funnily, but again just packed it to safety. Ria was holding her own bag and Sirius could see her stuffed animals: a black dog, a brown stag and a gray wolf. They had always gone a little over with the whole Animagus-thing. Just another thing for Lily to scold them about. Sirius smiled wistfully at the sight of the solemn girl, who was still a child in so many ways and a mature girl beyond her years in others. Stuffed animals as her most prized possessions, indeed.

"Where we going, Daddy?" she asked as she hopped into his arms. They had always made this routine of Ria jumping into his arms look so easy, so natural, that even Lily, the most perfect parent ever, had envied them.

"Aunt Meda. You remember her, right?"

"And Cousin Dora?" she asked, eyes bright. The novelty of a cousin never got old with her, seeing as she wasn't acknowledged by most of his father's family and her mother's side consisted of only Mary and Ria. The only children she saw were Harry and Meda's daughter, Nymfadora. What possessed Andromeda to name her daughter Nymfadora, Sirius would never know.

"And Cousin Dora", he sighed. "But you have to be there on your own for a while, star. Aunt Meda will take care of you, until your mother or I will come and get you, okay?"

Ariana wasn't happy about this, that was obvious, but even though Sirius wasn't the strictest of parent's (he was, in fact, nearly hopeless), Ria always knew when she could argue with her father about something and when she couldn't. Now was not the time.

"Fine", she mumbled.

"And you promise to be a good girl, right? No pranks, no Marauding", Sirius told her, trying to win a smile from her. It was an old ingrained habit of his, to push away bad things from his mind, until there was no escaping them.

"No Marauder", she replied with a ghost of a smile in her eyes. Good enough, Sirius thought and once again got pushed into the squeezing darkness.

They found themselves in the middle of the trees that were located behind Meda's and Ted's house. Sirius began running towards the house and when he reached the front door, he started knocking loudly, not caring if he woke them up. Finally a very angry-looking Andromeda came to the door with her wand at the ready, but her look changed to one of concern and anxiety when she saw the two Blacks.

"What has happened? Who's hurt?" she asked at once.

"James and Lily", Sirius answered. "It's Voldemort, he killed them."

Meda paled, opened the door wide and ushered them inside. When she had them in the neat living room and sitting down, she asked what had happened.

"I thought they were protected. You said so yourself. How could he get to them?"

"They had a Secret Keeper. They asked me… Merlin, they asked me, Meda, but I said it would be cleverer to use Peter, no one would think they'd choose him. Everyone else thought I was the Secret Keeper, even Dumbledore, but I convinced them to switch to Peter", Sirius explained. He was starting to feel like the little cousin again, the one who could tell his sorrows to the kind older cousin, who always played with him and Reg. But there was no room for comfort, not yet anyway.

"We came to their house and the roof had blown off. Front door shattered. James-. James lying in the hallway, Lily in Harry's room. I don't know how, but somehow Harry was okay. He's alive. But Dumbledore took him, he's going to his aunt and uncle's."

"Oh, Sirius", Meda said sadly. "I'm so sorry."

"Will you look after Ria? I have to find that traitor, I have to find Peter", he spat the name. "Otherwise they'll think it was me. And I want to find him and know how he could betray his best friends!"

"Of course", Meda said without hesitation.

"Swear to me you will look after her, Meda. No matter what. Look after her until I, or Mary come and get her."

"I swear, Sirius. You have my word on it", again without hesitation. "But you don't have to go, wait for Dumbledore, find out what happened."

"I can't. I have to find that coward myself. For Prongs and Lily. Just, try to understand, please", Sirius pleaded with a desperate look in his eyes.

Meda nodded sadly and Sirius turned towards his daughter. Ria looked small, delicate and sad that it nearly tore his heart to bits. He lifted her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. Gray eyes met gray eyes when Ria looked at her father, silently pleading him to stay. She knew it was useless, she knew her father well and she wanted Peter down as much as he did.

"Be a good girl, Ria. I love you."

"Love you too, Dad. Promise to back?"

"I promise. I give you my word, that I'll be back."

"Good. You never break promise. You back", she said proudly, it had always been something she could count on. Sirius never lied to her, never broke a promise. "Be safe, Dad."

"I'll be safe, dear. You look after yourself as well and I'll see you before you notice any time has gone by."

Sirius hugged his daughter, kissed her forehead and received a kiss from her in return, before he turned to Meda, hugged her as well and apparated to Peter's apartment with the images of James, Lily and Harry with him. The last thought he had before vanishing, was of Ria crying two bloody tears for her godparents. And the memory shattered his heart.