Title - Slightly Sea Salty Diaries of Cap'n Jack - The Pretty
Author - crazyEllie
Summary - Funny little insight into Captain Jack's very personal Diary.
Pairing - Captain Jack Sparrow and implied crush on Commander Norrington (but he won't admit to it!)
Catagory - Humour
Disclaimer -I don't own any of the characters in this fic, I just like to play with them
Author's Note - Hope you like stubborn!jack, bad-accent!jack and obsessive-compulsive!jackas much as me...Please review or send me an e-mail , as I am eager to know what I can improve in my writing and always happy to chat. - thanks- ellie
Slightly Sea Salty Diaries of Cap'n Jack - The pretty
7:26am Tuesday
Woke up this mornin' to find a bloody 'ole in ol' Jolly Mon. This is no' good, no' good at all my friend. Water level rose 'bout two inches afore I could scoop it out. I only paused for a bit o' salute t' me fellow pirateers hung outside th' Port Royal when the wave knocked me bucket right from me 'ands. No longer was there 'ope of getting' any water out, so I climbed up th' mast once more and tried t' get the water out o' me new Italian boots. (Which are only a recent acquisition of mine.) I reached th' dock just in time t' find the damned harbourmaster stickin' 'is nose int' business no' concernin' 'im. I'm thinking of changin' me name to Smith fo' inconspic'ous reasons. But 'ave already changed me opinion once more on the matter. Sparrow will do me just fine for now.
9:16am Tuesday
Well, it isn' 'ard t' find two men duller than ol' Murtogg and Mullroy. Two men I was privillaged to meet a little while ago. No' only did they mistake me fo' a common civilian, but they couldn't get it across tha' neither th' intercept nor th' dauntless would be a match fo' th' pearl on calm water. They argued amongst themselves for nearin' five minutes, givin me quite enough time to sneak past and ont' th' boat, er, ship. Stupid, Stupid men… We will have to talk about this, for surely Mullroy must've heard about m' pearl… surely…
9:45am Tuesday
I try to save a lass from drowning and nearly get me onesies hung in th' process. This worl' is up t' no good if you ask me. This Norrington bloke though, I think 'e might be a bit o' an interesting lad. I will have to keep me eyes wary on tha' one. Indeed…
1:04pm Tuesday.
Can an'thing worse 'appen today? I made my wonderfull escape from the charmin' Norrington bloke, still wearing handcuffs and th' like, but when I went t' remove them 'another young lad waltzes in an' catches me. Ongoing scuffle (with some amazing footwork by moi) ensues an' after I do astonishin'ly well I gets knocked ou' by th' drunken blacksmith. Oncemore I ge' to see the dazzling commodore in all 'is splendor, wha' ever 'ave I done t' deserve such an 'onour?
7:52pm Tuesday
I guess I was wrong. today can get worse. It is bad enough I 'ad to be locked up nex' t' those mangy bloody pirates, but now me camera's run out o' film. No photo from the cell, but I must say, it's dark wit' lots o' straw. Hang on, I think I hear me pearl in the distance. I will go out t' take me self a look see.
7:56pm Tuesday
Me Pearl is back!
7:58pm Tuesday
And She's blowin' 'oles in the fort!
8:07pm Tuesday
Those 'Mangy bloody pirates' managed a fine escape when a 'ole was blown through their cell wall. How bloody lovely. And now the keys run off. This is sooo not my day.
I wonder if th' commodore is alright…
8:09pm Tuesday
O' course th' commodores alright… 'E's a COMMODORE… I don' care 'bout commodores… an' I certainly don' care 'bout ones who try t' kill me.
8:12pm Tuesday
It was mo' imprisonment than death…
8:16pm Tuesday
I'm bored.
8:17pm Tuesday
Still Bored…
8:18pm Tuesday
Maybe I'll try the lock again.
8:19pm Tuesday
Nope. Still Bored.
8:49pm Tuesday
I'm goin' t' try 'ave a bit 'o sleep. Be no good t' be 'ung wit' bla' circles b'neath me eyes.
7:26am Wednesday.
Ol' Will 'appened by this mornin'. 'E really is a nice lad. I borrowed 'is Camera t' take a few 'appy snaps. I think 'E want's me 'elp wit' the strumpet.
7:43am Wednesday
Apparently it wasn't a matter o' lock pickn' or keys or any'ing o' the like. It was all about bloody "lev'rage". Will jus' sprung me from th' cell moments afore. I am no' quite sure about how t' take the young boy Turner. 'E's jus' like ol' bootstrap. It's rather disconcertin'. An' I was right… Th' boy did wan' somethin'. I fear tha' I'm goin' on a grand adventure an' I probably won' be takin' me diary wit' me as it may get a little bi' too worn if we 'ave a run in wit' any pirates… 'ang on… any scary pirates… oh, 'ang it. I jus' don't wan' me diary bein' nicked by Annamaria again. Las' time she found out about me fancy for ol' bootstraps. No' the righ' thing fer 'er discover, I guess- when your about t' marry th' man.
7:44am Wednesday
Changed m' mind. Mor' of a chance she'll get at it if I leave it behind.
7:52am Wednesday
Will is very confounding. I think 'e doesn't 'ave a clue about rescuing said fine strumpet.
7:53am Wednesday
Ah. Apparantly, 'e says 'e wants t' die fo' 'er.
8:17am Wednesday
Yay! I -we- just commandeered the HMS Dauntless. I want t' 'ave a nice party, but Will can't get th' sails up. 'E really is quite dim.
8:18am Wednesday
I'm startin' t' worry 'bout th' dim witt'd one.
8:20am Wednesday
We've set sail, but it appear Cap'n Jamie 'as it in 'is 'ead tha' we're... how should I put it... PIRATES! and he wants us DEAD!
8:27am Wednesday
It 'ppears tha' we are under not so very friendly fire.
8:28am Wednesday
Will thinks 'e can save th' day.
8:29am Wednesday
I am doomed.
8:30am Wednesday
I'm hiding.
8:31am Wednesday
On the en of th' pirate plank. Closest t' the' wat'r. Hell of a lot safer 'ere than wit' will. who is stil dancing around singin' pirate songs, trying to look tough. Scrawny dolt.
8:42am Wednesday
Nothin' is 'appening. Lots o' fire 'n such, but - No cap'n J! I miss 'im.
8:43am Wednesday
did I jus' say I missed 'im? EWW
throws book into water :mutters: shall ne'er be found, shall ne'er be found :shakes head: