Title: What I'll Forget to Say Tomorrow
Author: LashanaPairing: H/D
Rating: PG -13
Warnings: major angst, implied slash
Disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to her. *Points at JK Rowling* Though I'm not so sure she'll want Draco back by the time I'm finish with him. ^_^ "Janie Don't You Take Your Love to Town" is property of Mr. Jon Bon Jovi.
Summary: Draco sits awake one night contemplating his lover.
A/N: The lyrics are really important to the story. If you, like me, tend to ignore lyrics while reading songfics…well, please don't. It won't make much sense without them. ^_^;
Blah = lyrics
/…/ = thoughts
*…* = emphasis
-------------------------------
/Not real. This can't be real. It's all an illusion. *You're an illusion. Never. It doesn't work like this. My life doesn't god damned work like this!/
It was 3:00 am. Draco Malfoy sat in the corner of the dark room watching his sleeping lover. He watch him breathe, the rise and fall of his chest fracturing the sense of utter stillness. A muggle tape played softly in the background.
Sitting here just watching you sleep
Wish I could slip inside and be
In some Technicolor dream
But the air's too thick for one of us to
breathe
I'm not fool enough to think
You couldn't live life without me
/I can't do
this. He'll kill me. He'll kill you. He'll make me kill you. And then he won't
kill me./
Draco looked down at his palms to see the blood well up where his nails had penetrated the pale skin.
/I have to do this. I have to, or I'll become him./
I didn't come this far to throw the
towel in
I didn't fight this hard to walk away
If I ain't smart enough to say I'm sorry
It's just because the words got in the way
/Before all
this started everything made sense. It was all clear and well defined. We were
rivals. Equal and opposite./
He sucked at the torn flesh, savoring the coppery taste of the red fluid.
/No, that's a lie. We were never equal, you've always been so much more than me. And opposites? Not when I look into your eyes and see the reflection of someone I might have been, in another life./
I remember how it used to be
I was you and you were me
We were more than just the same
Now these shoes don't fit, my skin's too
tight
When you want a kiss, I take a bite
Let your heart call up the cops, read me my
rights
/You
stole my mask. Who am I supposed to be now? Your boyfriend? No, they'd never
let me. Your enemy, like nothing's changed? No, you'd never let me. I can't be
who you wish I would. You saved me, you're still saving me, but you've left me
nowhere to hide./
Last night I drank enough to drown
Raise a toast to your good looks and to my
health
Look, we both know how much I've let you
down
Janie don't you take your love to town
Lightening
flashed in the window above his head, briefly illuminating the figure on the
bed. Draco watched as the fleeting brightness seemed to caress the curves of
the body beneath the sheets, the lips that had tasted so sweet only a few short
hours ago.
Janie don't you take your love to town
Janie don't you take your love to town
If I've got to beg, I'll beg, just don't
walk away
Janie don't you take your love to town
/you're so beautiful, so…pure. Despite all that you have had to face, you experience hasn't marred you. You're still clean, still perfect…Then again, I'm stained enough for the both of us./
As if echoing his thoughts, a few drops of blood began to run down his arm, to trace the multitude of tiny scars already adorning the thin wrist.
You deserve a shooter, a saint
Someone to give it to you straight
To find the soul through flesh and bone
/I don't deserve you. You're too good. You should have someone who can truly love you. Just love you, without any of this secrecy and hiding bull shit. You shouldn't have to carry around my baggage. You deserve to be happy./
My life's a treasure, full of sunny
weather
But it's left me feeling cold
Now all you want to do is take me home
/I've
always had the best that money can buy. As a child everything I wanted was handed
to me on a silver platter. Now my name, and my fortune, and my family are
what's separating me from the one thing I couldn't bear to live without./
I hated you, the night you said you loved
me
I hated you, 'cause I couldn't love myself
I'm begging you now, baby please just hold
me
I got one foot in, one foot off the ground
Draco stared at the crimson tracts on his arm, entranced by the beauty of the blood, which was now dripping off his elbow to form a small pool on the cool floor.
Janie don't you take your love to
town
Janie don't you take your love to town
If I've got to beg, I'll beg, just don't
walk away
Janie don't you take your love to town
/I
don't know what it is you see in me. Why, after everything that has happened
over the years, you're willing to risk so much for this, for *me*. All I know
is that I need you, and I refuse to give you up./
Sitting here while you're fast asleep
In the bathroom by the sink
Trying to write the right words down
/I love you./
I turn out the lights, close my eyes
There ain't no prayers or kiss goodnight
What I'll forget to say tomorrow, I'll say
now
Janie don't you take your love to town
Suddenly
Draco got to his feet and strode across the room.
Janie don't you take your love to town
Janie don't you ta -- *click*
* * *
Harry Potter awoke to a surprisingly cold and empty bed. On the pillow next to him, he found a cassette tape and a note, which read:
"I know your name's not Janie but…"