Broken Teacup

By: EclipsedWonderland

Inspired by: The Mentalist

Beta-Read by: EclipsedWonderland

A/N: This takes place after the season 2 finale. Spoilers ahead, you've been warned.

What the hell are you doing here Theresa?

That's the thought that continued to ram itself against Lisbon's mind. Of course, she had had a plan... when she had first arrived. It was clear that Jane was... Upset... Well "upset" was an understatement, but Lisbon couldn't conjure up a word that fit how Jane felt. Anyway, she not wanting the issue to affect his work ethic, decided to.. talk to him about it. At first, the stocky woman had felt perfectly comfortable about the conversation. She and Jane had discussed many things in their years together, they were comfortable... At least, as comfortable as colleges could be. Yet, now that she was here, Lisbon felt like a mosquito was feasting on her self esteem.

Seriously? You are Theresa Lisbon, hard ass CBI investigator whom has dealt with all kinds of dangerous criminals. Yet, you can't handle an arrogant, childish man (if you can even call him a man) like Patrick Jane? Lisbon attempted to pep talk herself.

Pace, pace, stop, almost ring the door bell, stop, pace, pace.

The cycle had been going on for at least an hour. She attempted to make the excuse that he was "asleep", but she knew he hardly ever slept at home. He was an insomniac, she didn't need to be a "hard ass CBI investigator" to figure that one out. Lisbon heaved a huge sigh that hurt her chest. This entire situation was ridiculous. She could beat him up with one arm tied behind her back...

Yet, he still frightened her.

Not the "I could get killed on this mission" fear, but an entirely different form. It was a form she was completely unaffiliated with... It was an internal feeling, a feeling like she was more afraid of her mind and soul then her physical body. Her physical body was well protected, but her soul... That was an entirely different situation. Also, the fear existed in the form of him doing himself harm because of something she did or said... Then again, that was a silly thought. He was too bent on revenge for that. Lisbon let out a noise of disgust. Yes, too focused on revenge to even consider anyone else... Or even consider how many people he helps! She thought enviously.

With agitation boiling under her skin that was more directed at herself then at Jane, Lisbon shoved her finger down onto the door bell before even considering what she had just done. Instantly, regret filled her chest. The regret she felt when she accidentally ordered the wrong thing at Taco Bell or when she missed the "closed case pizza celebration" for a new episode of True Blood. Or... When she was the cause of one of her team member's pain. The later was the closest to the regret she felt now.

Lisbon shoved the unwanted emotion away and set her shoulders even more squarely and defensively. Instinctively, she reached for her badge for self assurance and comfort, but then remembered she didn't have it. Still, when the CBI investigator heard soft foot steps beyond the door, her heart brutally collapsed into her black work shoes.

The door opened swiftly to show a surprised, yet thoroughly irritated Patrick Jane. He was in his usual outfit: vest, dress shirt, simple pants. Fleetingly, Teresa wondered if he ever got out of his work clothes or if his work (the work of finding Red John) was always with him.

"Lisbon...?" He said half questioningly. For a moment, Teresa felt a secret feeling of triumph. A secret victory for hearing Jane talk with a question in his voice. But instantly, that was erased when he smiled his arrogant half smirk. I really shouldn't have come. Said her head, but her mouth spoke easily.

"Hey. I just thought I'd stop by to make sure you're alright and that the.. Incident won't screw up your work." She said casually. Jane's smirk rose slightly, yet as usual, his eyes remained dead.

"And you couldn't think of a better time to do this other then 2 AM?" He asked, doubtingly. Lisbon froze on the inside, not realizing how much time had passed, but moved through the conversation easily.

"I had to stay late at the office. I knew you wouldn't be asleep and, obviously, you aren't. So, yes, at 2 AM, Jane." sarcasm tainted the last bit of her sentence. Jane forced a smile that was all too fake.

"Then, as I said earlier, I am fine, Lisbon." Teresa glared at him, letting the agitation from earlier be felt. Here she was sacrificing half her night and the well being of her soul, yet he continued to deny what they both very well knew. That he was no where near alright. And what was most frustrating of all was this simple fact: he knew perfectly damn well that she was aware of his feelings. Yet, calming herself a bit, Lisbon tried a nicer approach.

"Jane, do you remember that time when you made me do the 'trust fall back test' because I didn't trust you? We-" Jane interrupted.

"I was referring to work-related trust. And yes, I absolutely have that with you," His voice switched to sarcasm, "And of course I trust you with all of my personal thoughts as well because of said 'work related trust' " Lisbon smiled at his little game, deciding that her "nice approach" had failed. Horribly.

"This is work related, Jane. If you're telling me that Red John doesn't influence your work then I will recommend you to the CBI Psychiatrist." She said smartly, but inwardly enjoying the little game they played. Jane's smile rose slightly and he looked away from her eyes for the first time that night, in this Lisbon sensed that he would "smoothly" change the subject because she had beaten him. A little wink of triumph glinted in Lisbon's eye before it was crushed by his next words.

"Hmmm, just curious, but if you just came from the office then why are you not wearing your badge? You are not the type to merely leave it lying about. My guess is that you have a very special place for it at your home, perhaps even a safe? No. Not a safe, but a special place to be sure. And your hair is a little wild which, since it is always placed in perfect order, tells me that you have been outside quite some time since there is a breeze. Oh and one more thing, you were wearing a different shirt today, similar to that color, but slightly different. Which means you left the office and went home, prepared for bed. Perhaps slept? No, no you didn't sleep. You relaxed and felt guilt and felt quite... A lot of pity for me so you roused yourself, tired as you are, and drove over here and paced outside my door way for roughly... 3 hours. Am I correct?"

Lisbon covered her usual reaction to his amazing deductions with a sharp, high pitched "No" that just proved his point even further. The smirk had remained on her face even as he had studied her eyes and face to catch for the hints he needed for truth.

Jane laughed a vacant and distracted laugh before removing himself from blocking the doorway and holding out an arm that pointed towards the house.

"Well I certainly can't leave you out here pacing, Lisbon." He chuckled again while Lisbon said nothing, swallowed her embarrassment, and walked inside. Instantly, Jane made his way towards the kitchen and turned on some soft lamps so Lisbon wasn't like a blind woman in a forest. She couldn't help to be slightly surprised by his lodgings, expecting more disarray. However, she noticed her fault knowing that Jane liked to pretend everything was perfectly normal. She could bet any money he still slept in the room where is wife was killed, with Red John's symbol still written in blood upon the wall.

"Would you like some tea?" Jane called softly from the kitchen, "I don't have any coffee, but tea's got caffeine too."Lisbon mumbled a grumpy "yes" and sat on Jane's couch. The entire area reminded her eerily of Kristina's home... More like a Spa, then a place where someone actually lived. If it had been anyone else, Lisbon would have felt slightly uncomfortable, but she was so on edge about the person she was about to deal with, the furniture was hardly a distraction.

A couple minutes later, Jane walked through the kitchen and into the living room holding two steaming cups of tea. Just like the perfect host. How ironic. Teresa thought with a small, inward laugh. Jane sat next to her, with a fair distance between them, however it forced Lisbon to turn to her side to face him... Which she intended to do for however long she was here. A curious thought began to curl itself around Lisbon for some moments: why did he sit there instead of across from her? However, she dropped the thought after seeing she couldn't conclude anything. For some minutes, there was silence as they each gazed off into their own objects of reverie. Lisbon's on what exactly she planned to ask him about and Jane's on Red John's riddle. Without really drawing himself out of his reverie, Jane said softly, "I lied. He did tell me something."

Lisbon nodded quietly, "I know." Jane paused briefly before repeating the riddle in a monotoned voice. Lisbon was briefly perplexed by the riddle before giving up on trying to solve it. Surely, it was what he had been contemplating for hours and if Patrick Jane couldn't figure it out, she certainly couldn't.

"Jane." He pulled his eyes from the high window beside him and focused them on her, "You need to stop." Instantly, Lisbon saw him shut down. Slowly, the shine in his eyes died away, his mouth became slightly set in a rough line and his face muscles tensed. All of these changes were subtle that someone who hadn't been working with the man for years wouldn't have been able to detect. He smiled, but it was almost a sad smile. He must have known she would tell him this, but had probably been hoping for it to come later.

"You know I can't, Lisbon. Not till I can tear him apart myself." His voice was calm and serene. Lisbon had always been perplexed and frightened by the calm way Jane talked of Red John's future death. Her fear was beginning to dig it's claws into her. The CBI agent tried to shut it down before it affected her thoughts, words, and tone of voice. The only cure that she could find, was anger. Cold, searing anger. Pausing after his statement, she drew on every wrong he had done her and every time she had been irritated at him. Drew upon the envy she had for him, and the disgust she felt for his careless attitude. Once the spear was sharpened, she plunged it with full force.

"Have you not seen enough people torn apart by revenge? Jane, look at the people you see everyday. What do you think they want to do to their wife's or child's or husband's killer? They want to hunt them down just as you do, but these people move along. Why can't you? You are talented, enjoyable to be around at times, over all a decent person, yet you through that away. As if it means nothing to you. Half the people at the CBI would kill to have the ability you see you throw it away is disgusting. You are so focused and blinded by all that you don't have that you do not see what you do have." Jane's smile fell and he pressed his lips closely together. Lisbon knew she had pushed a button, one that she had preferred not to push. Everyone at the CBI was aware on how Jane took out his anger on you, he told you everything about your life. Everything he knew. And when that cold anger seared into you just by his look, you could do nothing but freeze and listen. Lisbon had never felt that, but knew, in seconds, that she would. Jane's eyes flipped into their cold, glaring state. A stare that made Lisbon feel as if she was naked in front of him and everything was visible. She nearly went to cover herself, to protect it from the nuclear missiles that were being targeted at her soul, but swiftly she halted her physical reaction. The CBI "hard ass" attempted to pull her eyes away, but they stuck to his like cement. This had been her fear, the thing that had kept her pacing for 3 hours. As soon as he opened his mouth, Lisbon attempted to fortify herself, but knew, that he would breach those fortifications and win.

"You are lonely. Beyond lonely. You are a workaholic whom knows that people would despise her if she were not in charge of them. You work constantly because you don't want to dwell on the thoughts that attack you everyday. Regret about your mother's death, self pity over your hard life taking care of your brothers and father, fury that your brothers cannot get along, and intense pain over the physical abuse you endured from all three men. You seem to have it all together, but in reality everything is falling apart in shambles and soon you will break, Lisbon, and everyone will see it. You yearn for a lover or a husband, but are so self pitiful and self centered that you don't even care to look, too afraid of getting hurt yourself. You also yearn for a family of your own, but are afraid that the alcoholism that you fight will affect that chance. Sometimes, you don't even sleep. You just sit and think about how horrid your life has been and how many things you've lost. You replay the last argument you had with your father before he died over and over, and the last insult you flew at your mother. You are no different than me, your past conducts who you are, Theresa. You haven't had a date in years, and haven't had sex with anyone for months. The last one was a colleague, though I am unsure whom. He hit you, that's why you haven't ventured out anymore. You bottle your feelings inside toward everyone you know in the CBI. However, I see them clear as day. Would you like me to tell you what you feel?," Jane didn't wait for an answer and continued, "Towards Hightower you feel a respect yet hatred towards her that my behavior dictates whether you live or die (because obviously you would be suicidal without your job), towards Rigsby, you feel some jealousy because he has what he has with Van Pelt. You wish you were that reckless, that you could live without constraints because you've never had that. Cho, you feel simple respect for. You two have a deep friendship that no one sees and you often go and see him on weekends. Van Pelt, you feel complete and utter jealousy. You hate her for her sweetness, youth, good looks, and free will. You wish you were her or had been her. And towards me," Jane's voice still stayed monotoned, but Lisbon could hear that this was the climatic moment of his long winded insult, "You don't keep me on the team because I 'close cases' as you tell everyone you do. You know you could hire Kristina to do the exact same thing without half the trouble. Yes, you don't like her because (again) you are jealous, but the reason your jealous is what is interesting. At first, you didn't like her because she pushed me the wrong way. She was a liar and you wanted to protect me. But then, you only became jealous when I asked her on that silly date. That's what is interesting. You don't keep me around because you want to close cases, it's for three simple reasons. First, part of you wants to see my revenge succeed, secondly, the majority of you wants to steer me away from it and thirdly, you enjoy having me around. And not in the colleague type way."

Strong pipes had ripped their way through Lisbon's body to make her as stiff as a board. Her mouth was slightly agape as if she were about to say something, yet no words came out. Never had she seen such a deep analysis of anyone before. Not even done by him. A silent triumph danced in his eyes that made her want to rip his throat out, but she moved not one muscle. Finally, a couple words drifted from her mortally horrified mind.

"That's... Not true..." It was barely breathed. She knew somewhere that it was pointless denial, that Jane could see everything. What shocked her is that she had actually convinced herself that he couldn't read through everything in her. Not like he could others, she thought for sure that something of her had been hidden from him, but... Of course, that had been wishful thinking.

"Yes it is. I suggest you leave. Now." Jane spoke calmly in his arrogance, but a light anger resounded in his voice. Lisbon almost rose to her legs and disappeared from his presence and his humiliation. A second later, however, cold, hard determination settled into the pit of her stomach. She wouldn't leave. She wouldn't move. He would not get his way. Lisbon brought her eyes back into focus, closed her mouth and stared vexedly back at him. Jane wasn't surprised, but the sheer anger boiled over onto his face. The corners of his mouth turned down and his brow furrowed slightly. However, his eyes acted like windows into an otherwise pitch black room. Sheer disgust glared out of them and straight into his colleague's. Lisbon stared back with the same steel, not withdrawing for an instant.

"I mean it. You need to stop. I am not rolling over for you again, Patrick." Her voice came out in a cold sheet, stabbing him directly in the gut. For an instant, Lisbon pictured blood gushing from the wound and finally seeing the core of this mystery.

"I will still cut him and laugh as his blood pools at my feet." Jane responded with the same amount of ice, but Lisbon could sense the breaking of a glacier coming. Gradually it chisels down until, in one moment, everything crashes down into the sea drowning forever.

"Is that what Claire would have wanted, you think?" Lisbon's voice was soft in volume, yet harsh in tone. She knew this would be the final straw before he snapped. Lisbon had been holding that card close to her for years, waiting for the proper moment to use it. Claire Jane, Patrick's wife. Of course, she had had an alias in his file. Lisbon had checked deeper.

Jane stared at her for a few moments, his fury not knowing what to do. And the pure agony of hearing her name ripping shreds through his walls. Lisbon watched the levels of collapse, a collapse similar to the Ottoman Empire. Slowly decreasing into raw emotion, something she knew he hadn't touched in far too long. Finally, Constantinople was captured and the Empire imploded. Rising to his feet in too much of a rush, Patrick nearly flipped the coffee table in front of him, crashing the tea cup sitting upon the table to the floor.

"How do you even know her name? How can you sit there and tell me to not want revenge? Do you even understand what it is like to loose the only two people you've ever loved and know that it was your fault? It was completely my fault! Nobody else, mine and mine alone! My arrogance killed my beloved Claire and my dearest Cierra..." The fury was dwindling into pure agony as Patrick stood staring at Lisbon, "My fault, Teresa. And now, after that, picture being tied up while the same man kills two more people right in front of you. You fight and fight, but can't get out. And you know he's coming for you and you can't move. He comes right up to your face and stares at you, he just stared... And laughed. He laughed as I fought and fought. He left me with nothing but more riddles and the fact that he's constantly two fucking steps ahead of me!," Patrick ran to Lisbon now, placing his face inches from hers. Tears streamed down his face at a constant pace, yet sobs did not attack him, "Do you understand that kind of agony, Theresa? Can you even imagine that kind of agony? I didn't think so." His voice had slowly come to calm acceptance as he sat back upon the couch, his gaze lifting from hers and returned to it's task of gazing out the window.

Now, Lisbon wished she had withheld the name inside of her. She had nothing she could say to comfort him. She wished she were Van Pelt at this moment, with a strong sentimental side. One that could comfort such grief and pain. But again and again nothing came. Still, even has her determination faded slightly, Lisbon knew she had to deter him from this destructive path... Even if she was blind.

"Patrick..." She said slowly, in a cautious and soft tone that felt odd on her tongue, "It doesn't need to be this way. You don't need to live in a world where nothing else can ever matter again. You can move on... Kristina...," Lisbon felt a great pang in her heart as she spoke, "Kristina can help with that. I see the way she looks at you, Patrick. You can recreate your life with her... You don't have to wallow in misery. And don't you see? This is exactly what Red John wants you to do. He wants to ruin you. He wants you to seek him and try to destroy him and ignore everyone and everything else. You are playing his game, but you want to play yours. So, escape from his endless trail of lies and puzzles, and trap him in yours. You are clever and you can trap him, but not when you are ruined and try to do it as a 'Lone Ranger'. Use the people around you and don't let him posses you." Jane's gaze was being pulled back to Lisbon's. He calculated the logicalness of what she said. And... It did make sense. With prior data forming in Jane's "memory palace" he was able to deduce this truth. Red John's games were always hidden and the person stuck in them, never realized in what way they were stuck. Now he knew, and now he could escape. However, for the first time, Patrick had to include his emotions into the equation. He didn't know if he would be able to let go of Red John. It had always been a two way street. So, logically, he decided not to give any false hope. Gazing at Lisbon with a certain sense of awe, he still couldn't ignore something that she had said. The very thought sent a small chuckle out from his lips.

"I suppose I was fairly convincing with Kristina, then?" Lisbon looked at him, not able to hide the small puzzled look upon her face. Jane wiped his face with a hand and absently felt the cold metal of his ring against his flesh.

"I just want her to admit that she's lying, but that's a secret." he smiled and placed a finger before his lips. He saw a small spark erupt in Lisbon's eyes, before it was burried under seriousness.

"That's not the point, Patrick." Instantly, Jane's sobriety returned at the mention of his first name.

"I know. And... In a sense, you are correct. And I will think on it," Lisbon began to look away in annoyance when Jane grabbed her arm to capture her attention, "I mean it. I will think about it." At that, Patrick couldn't help smiling slightly. Teresa couldn't help a smile breaking out upon her lips, either. A victory had been won, she knew, and though it may end up leading to nothing, she felt a small hope for Jane.

"My cue to leave then." Lisbon said calmly as if nothing had occurred, but the smile still remained painted across her mouth. Jane looked up at her in sarcastic confusion.

"What? Leaving? Hmmm, nope. You're not allowed to." Lisbon glared at him, the smile weakening. Sighing heavily, she sat back from her position on the edge of the couch. Patrick chuckled a light chuckle.

"Oh, don't act like you're being forced. You don't want to go back to your loneliness and I certainly don't want to walk up those stairs."

"Ahhhh, so I'm just here for your temporary amusement, then Jane?" She asked sarcastically.

"Hmm, not particularly. If I needed temporary amusement, I could call my dad up and have them bring the circus," a grin flashed across his face as he noticed his subtle comment sink in to Lisbon, "No, I enjoy your company. Not in a colleague type of way." Lisbon laughed at his small joke, but felt an uneasiness in her. She was worried now. If he meant the way she felt towards him, they would have serious problems... Wait. How did she feel about him?, her mind asked. But before much thought, she knew the answer and knew that if he did reciprocate her feelings, then she would need to leave very, very soon. Jane's chuckle brought her back to the real world.

"For someone who claims to read me like an open book, you seem to have missed one of the most important things," after a moment's deliberation Patrick reached down to his wedding finger and slid off his wedding ring. A tan line remained, but he felt a small load be lifted. He set in down on the table glancing at the broken tea cup for an instant. "Why else would I ask you out so often to get 'coffee' with me, Teresa?"

Lisbon felt her CBI mode come in instantly and her smile faded into a frown. Jane didn't miss a beat, however, "I know, you are worried about breaking the CBI rules, but that's exactly what you want to do. You want to be rebellious. Besides, you're a good liar and so am I." He laughed lightly, but deeper meaning lurked behind his casual tone. The entirety of what he had done and what he was saying was setting into Lisbon in slow, uneasy steps. He wasn't joking, she realized, he wouldn't take off his ring if he were. She looked up at him and instantly knew her task of leaving had become that much harder.

"No. Jane, you know we can't. I will not break the rules." Her voice was calm and business like. Jane only smiled and it was then that Lisbon noticed how close he had come to her. He leaned into her inches from her face.

"I can't either, but you will and so will I." he whispered and without another word placed his lips timidly against hers. He hadn't expected to be so unsure and unpracticed. Patrick was always so sure of himself, yet Teresa always proved to surprise him even if she had never realized it. It was a long, soft kiss. Neither of them moved and neither pushed, just enjoying the soft touch of their lips together. Patrick felt no regret for what he did and for once, he felt a foreign emotion. The emotion of raw happiness.

Finally, he couldn't stand the small tease any long and pushed harder against her lips. Just a romantic push, he couldn't even claim being ready for anything more. Her mouth opened to his slightly, but he didn't push her beyond that as he kissed her again and again, holding her close to him. It felt almost... Completely foreign. As if he had never kissed before in his life. Teresa had laid her hands lightly against Patrick's chest, feeling the slow heave of his breath and the lean, small muscles beneath. As the kisses finished she found herself making a comfortable pillow against his chest. His arm laid against the small of her back, barely touching her as if unsure whether it was ok or not. Teresa laughed a bit.

"We're not High School children, Patrick. Don't get all wussy on me, otherwise I'm going to think I just made a huge mistake." She said with dry sarcasm. He laughed a bit and the sound resounded in her ears.

"It's been a while. And besides, you are making a huge mistake. Just cause I took the ring off doesn't mean I can't put it back on." Lisbon punched him on the side playfully.

"Yea, yea." Laughing again, Patrick pulled her into a lying position and they each positioned themselves in a way that her back was against his stomach and he could whisper into her ear. At first impact, Jane has heard a light gasp escape Teresa's lips.

"And that is one move I will never not be able to do." His voice was weary as his body felt the true impact of the exhaustion of the night. Before sleep over took him, however, he thought of the red smile sitting along his bedroom wall, taunting him even on this night.

The End.

–-

A/N: Alright, I'm basically going to use this section to describe the origin, meaning, and symbols in this story. I like to explain things to my readers so that perhaps, if they go back and read the story again, they can see it in a completely different way.

The origin of this story is from my insomniac nights. I have nights when I simply can't sleep because I begin thinking of a story. The first time this story came into my head was after I watched the Season 2 finale. I always pictured that there was more then what Lisbon asked Jane at the end of the episode. I knew that there had to be more then just that. I also felt Jane's grief very acutely. This is, of course, due to an excellent portrayal by Simon Baker and the script, but I believe that the season finale was truly a masterful performance done by Simon. Anyway, I began to picture what would happen if Lisbon showed up at Jane's house afterwards. I pictured the scene a million different ways during multiple nights of thought. I began to script it and lay out the description in my head, but I was always second guessing myself on what would actually happen. So after many nights, I finally came up with something I was happy with and wrote it. However, the version you are all reading has probably been edited 5 or 6 times. Cause I'm still not completely happy with it.

The meaning of this story is fairly self explanatory as a whole, but when you begin breaking down the details it has a much deeper meaning then what is seen on the surface. First of all, the title. I chose this title because I've always connected a tea cup with Jane. He's always drinking it and it's, obviously, his trademark. So, in the story I knew there had to be tea. When Jane finally boils over, he nearly flips the table (as is described) and breaks a tea cup in the process. For me, this symbolized the old Jane "breaking" and a new one beginning, however parts of shattered pieces can be placed back together and I tried to show that this was more of the end result when I made Jane's thoughts drift to Red John. I wanted my readers to understand that Jane's obsession with Red John isn't over, that it would take much effort from Lisbon and Jane for it to be over. This gave the story a "bitter/sweet" ending. The reason I switched between parts describing Lisbon more and Jane more is because each of them would react to things more dramatically then the other. I wanted to keep the story fairly fast paced so I switched between the two to describe the scene with more "feeling". Cause... I like to write about feelings. The story is also meant to have a kind of "Romeo and Juliet"feeling, but not in the traditional sense. I have always viewed Romeo and Juliet as a rushed and childish love story, Lisbon and Jane's "love" is somewhat like that. They are over influenced by their emotions to make rational decisions at the moment, making them more susceptible to feelings of "love". Think about it: Lisbon and Jane are fatigued and have felt anger, agony, embarrassment, and love all in the same night. They will be reckless. This is how Romeo and Juliet are. They rush into things and make rash decisions and, in the end, have serious problems. The same applies here for Lisbon and Jane. I view their relationship more of extremely stressed and near a breaking point until Jane finally gets over killing Red John.

Hm... Well that's about all I can think of at this point. If you have any further questions, go ahead and ask them in the review section. I hope you enjoyed this short story and expect more from The Mentalist and more Jane/Lisbon. Bye bye :).