"Bill, why aren't we married?"
The demon dropped the pair of pants he was folding as his eye widened. He looked back at the mother of his child, a look of doubt on her face and an unfolded t-shirt in her hands.
"W-well, we..." He stuttered, unsure of how to respond to such a question.
Why weren't they married? They sure did love each other. He had thought about proposing to the brunette before, but then Erin came along and that idea was thrusted into the bottom of his 'Life Plans' list. A child sure did take up a lot of time and energy. Especially a half-demon one.
"I don't know." He quickly replied, picking up the pants he had dropped and folding them neatly. "Why the sudden interest?"
"Well, we've been living together for ten years and we haven't considered it yet." Mabel stated as she stored the t-shirt in its drawer. "Quite frankly, I think we've been living in sin."
"There's no such thing as 'living in sin'." Bill said as he floated the folded pair of pants into the closet. "Trust me, I know."
"Even so, I think we should really think about it. What will the other kids in Erin's class think when she tells them her parents aren't married?"
"They'll think we're hip people that keep up with the trends." He grinned, ignoring his girlfriend's disapproving glare. "Nobody marries anymore. Marriages these days always lead to divorce, so why risk it? It's better that we just live together without any major commitments."
"I guess..." Mabel sighed sadly and sat on her bed. "It's just that I've always pictured my wedding day, ever since I was a little girl. The beautiful decorations, the guests all dressed up, me walking down the aisle in a gorgeous white dress..."
Bill froze as the image of Mabel in a wedding dress popped into his head. He quickly shook his head and pushed it to the back of his mind. He would save that one for later.
"Besides, I don't want to be the only one in my family who isn't married. Even Dipper and Pacifica did it."
"If those two jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?"
"You know what I meant." She deadpanned, releasing another sigh. "I just think it's a big part of life, that's all."
"Is it really that important to you?"
Mabel looked up at the blond, who seemed to have turned his full attention to her, a sympathetic look on his face.
"More than anything else." She responded, giving the demon a small smile.
"Fine, let's do it." Bill declared, clasping his hands together in determination.
"Really?!" Mabel squealed happily as she got up and ran up to give Bill a hug. "Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!"
"Yes, yes, you're welcome." He smirked and patted her head as he returned her embrace. "I aim to please."
"You have no idea how much that means to me." Mabel said, pulling back a bit to look up at him. "When do you think we can do it?"
"Right now!" He replied excitedly.
"What?!"
Bill didn't even grace her with an answer; he simply snapped his fingers and suddenly an old man in a white robe appeared next to them.
"What-a happened? Where am I?" He asked as he looked around confusedly, his accent a weird mix of German and Italian. "And why am I back in my papal clothes?"
"Hiya, Benedict!" Bill greeted him with a strong pat on the back. "Or is it just 'Joseph', now?"
"Bill Cipher? Is that you?" He squinted as he eyed the demon over. "You look a lot more human than I remember."
"It's a long story, I'll tell you about it someday. Now, I brought you over to claim my end of our deal. I want you to marry us."
The blond gestured towards Mabel, the old man grinning deviously at the sight of the brunette.
"So that's what this is about." He chuckled. "The great Bill Cipher has finally gotten soft, eh?"
"Listen here, Ratzinger, you better not test my patience." He poked the old man's chest menacingly. "I made you Pope for a small price that I left open until today, and you only resigned because you were too weak to handle the pressure. If anyone here has gotten soft, that one is you. And you better not have forgotten that I still have ways to hurt you."
He brought his hand up to the former Pope's face, a blue flame appearing when he opened it. The old man's eyes widened and he gulped at the sight of the demon's magical fire.
"Alright, alright, I'll perform the ceremony!" He declared nervously, holding his hands up in front of himself in a protective way.
"Good."
"Wait, are we seriously getting married here? In our bedroom?" Mabel asked, gesturing around the room.
"It's as good a place as any other." Bill replied and took hold of Mabel's hands. "Any place is good as long as we're together."
Mabel couldn't help but smile at Bill's statement, her heart melting with it. He always knew the right thing to say.
"Oh, alright." She giggled, pulling him into a hug. "But can we at least get some of my friends and family in here to witness this?"
"Sure. Who did you have in mind?"
"Well... Dipper, of course. He could be your best man. And Pacifica could be my maid of honor. I also want Erin to be the ring bearer, and... Raphi can just come over to watch. He is my associate, after all."
Bill snapped his fingers and suddenly all of the aforementioned people appeared right there in their bedroom. Dipper and Pacifica were in their pajamas, Raphi had nothing but a towel around his waist and Erin was in the middle of poking needles onto what seemed to be voodoo doll.
"What the hell?!" Exclaimed Pacifica, trying to cover herself. "Why are we here?!"
"Bill and I are getting married!" Mabel said, giddily clapping her hands. "And we wanted you to be here for such a special occasion."
"Couldn't it wait until morning? I just got out of the shower!" Declared Raphi.
"Well, tough. We're doing this now, so you all better..." Bill trailed off when he looked at his daughter. "Erin! What have I told you about torturing your teacher with voodoo?"
"To not do it after bed time?" Erin inquired in her usual emotionless tone.
"Exactly. Now, let's get to our roles. Pine Tree, you're on best man duty. Blondie, you're the maid of honor. And Erin, sweetie, you're the ring bearer."
"What about me?" Raphi asked, shivering due to his lack of clothes. "Why was I dragged into this?"
"I wanted you to be here." Mabel replied. "You're my best friend after all."
"I'm flattered, but I still wish I had gotten a heads-up about this. I'm not at all dressed for such an occasion."
"None of us are!" Pacifica added angrily.
"Geez, you people sure are hard to please." Bill groaned and rolled his eye before snapping his fingers and getting everyone dressed in formal attire, himself included. "There. Happy, now?"
"I don't know... Yellow isn't really my color." Said Pacifica as she inspected her dress.
The demon was about to lash out at the blonde, when a loud gasp caught his attention. Turning to his left, his breath almost stopped when he saw his fiancé looking down at her wedding dress in awe. He had given her a strapless white gown with a pale pink ribbon wrapped around her waist and tied in a bow, matching the one on her white headband.
Bill could almost feel himself drool. When he imagined that dress for her, he never thought it would look that good.
"Excuse me, Mr. Master of Ceremonies." Dipper snapped him out of his trance. "Can we please get this over with? I have an early meeting in the morning and I'd really like to get some shut-eye."
"Sure, fine." Bill turned back to the former Pope and smiled. "Ready, Benny?"
"Yes, sure." The old man said as he opened his Bible. "Let's just get this over with."
"Is that Pope Benedict the sixteenth?" Pacifica whispered to Dipper.
"Don't ask." The brunet sighed.
The wedding went on without a hitch, the reception ending as just a nice dinner between family and friends. Despite the fact that at some point Raphi had a little too much to drink and started flirting blatantly with Dipper, they could all agree that would be a wedding day to remember.
After sending everyone away and putting Erin to bed, the two newlyweds retired to their bedroom, where Bill latched onto Mabel's waist and gave her what felt like the most passionate kiss they had ever shared.
"How does it feel like to be my wife, Mrs. Cipher?" he asked in a sultry tone.
"Not too bad, Mr. Cipher." She replied with a chuckle. "How does it feel like to be my husband?"
"Wonderful. Shall we engage in some wedding night activities?" he inquired as he wiggled his eyebrows and gently pulled her towards the bed.
"Lead the way, honey." She giggled.
"Excuse me…"
They both jumped and turned around to see Pope Benedict still in their room, looking a bit flustered.
"Can you please send me home now?" the old man asked. "I would really like to go back to being retired."
AUTHOR'S NOTE (PLEASE READ)
A lot of you wanted to read about Mabel and Bill getting married (and one of you wanted to see more "interactions" between Raphi and Dipper *mentally nudges TheTrueAmerican* xD), so here you have it.
I don't really have much more to say about this… What do you guys think? Please tell me ^^;
I hope you enjoyed this one. I'll be writing some more soon.