I lay awake in the cool summer night. My thoughts are like those pestilent gnats that just won't leave you alone. They swarmed and buzzed, wreaking havoc on my carefully ordered view of the world. It took forever and a day to for me to form an opinion, but it took impressive logic to change my mind on any subject. But now, all of my ideals and beliefs were turned to ash. All because of that damned Severus Snape. Before, my world was carefully organized into good and evil, Gryffindors and Slytherins. Now, it seemed that a bomb had blown through my barriers of logic and reason. Nothing was as it seemed before.

Flashback

I carelessly doodled on the side of my parchment, unconcerned with how the various ingredients of Felix Felicis combined to create the potion that caused luck. 'I'll need my own swig of that stuff just to pass N.E.W.T.S. next year,' I thought to myself grimly, shoving my half-assed essay into my infamous Batman backpack. I looked over at Sirius, who I realized was looking shifty. Getting up from the plush burgundy armchair, I went and sat next to him on the loveseat.

"What's new Pussy Cat?" I asked, referring to my nickname for Sirius and the famous Tom Jones song. He grinned at me in the same way he does when he takes a prank too far, a look I had grown used to.

"Not much, Batman," he said, slinging his arm around me. James and Peter looked up from their essays in distress at Sirius's maniacal state. We were the only ones left in the common room, staying in the school per Moony's request. He told us, like a father would children, to have our homework done by the time he came back from his transformation.

"Out with it, Sirius," James said sternly. "What have you done this time?"

Pads leaned forward conspiratorially, a mad glint in his eye. "Let's just say that we won't have to be dealing with Snape for much longer." This immediately piqued everyone's attention, including mine.

"Well don't leave us out of it!" Pete exclaimed, mousy face wide with excitement.

"What'd you think up, Pads?" James asked, hazel eyes as big as a house elf's ears.

"Do tell," I said, understanding Sirius's excitement now.

"Well," he started, "I told old Snivellus how to get into the Whomping Willow and-"

"You did what!" James yelled, standing up and grabbing his wand. Peter's face paled as he looked between James and Sirius in concern. I stood too, grabbing my mahogany wand in preparation.

"You idiot!" A furious James screamed, grabbing fistfuls of Sirius's shirt and hoisting him up. "You're going to kill him and get Remus thrown in Azkaban you little-!"

"This is not the right time, James," I said in irritation. I was already grabbing my and James's cloaks, planning how we were going to rescue Snape without him finding out who we were or about Remus's condition. He looked at me and nodded grimly, accepting his cloak from me. We bolted to the portrait hole and down the steps like we were being chased by a herd of dragons, hoping we weren't too late.

Out of breath and with a stitch in our sides, we arrived on the ground floor after avoiding both Filch and Mrs. Stephens, the caretaker's rheumy-eyed cat. We dashed out onto the Hogwarts grounds, blood and adrenaline pumping through our veins, just in time to see a figure disappear beneath the Whomping Willow. The two of us transfigured ourselves into our Animagus forms almost simultaneously, him a proud stag and I a bat. Bats don't look nearly as graceful as birds in mid-flight but I had much more control than one, able to make fast turns and stop unexpectedly. Just like me on my broomstick as the Gryffindor Seeker.

Covering the distance quicker than James, with the help of my webbed wings, I navigated as best I could through the whipping branches of the Whomping Willow. I narrowly avoided a branch from cutting my head off, but was lacerated across the tip of my wing by another branch for my efforts.

After shaking off the pain, I unexpectedly slammed into the trunk of the massive tree. I gathered my wits as I limped to the knot in the trunk and pressed my whole transfigured body against it. Immediately, James sped inside the carefully concealed hollow near the trunk. Knowing my presence would be an encumbrance rather than helpful, I escaped from beneath the hulking tree. Adrenaline was surging through my body and I had difficulty transfiguring back to my human form but eventually succeeded.

Until now, I had been running completely on autopilot. Doing what my gut told me to do as a knee-jerk reaction. But now, my head was spinning and I felt dizzyingly sick. I was terrified, both for Remus's and, I'll admit it, Snape's sake. More than that, I was mad. I was furious at Sirius's blindness toward the repercussions his actions could have on other people. But most of all, I felt betrayed. It wasn't like it was my life he had put at risk, but the piercing pain of deception said otherwise. James and I could both be thrown into Azkaban for a month just for being illegal Animagi, let alone the accusations for accessories to murder. 'Attempted murder,' I reminded myself. 'He isn't dead . . . yet.'

After several tense minutes full of worry, I begin to wonder if Moony had killed them both. But no, just as this thought entered my head, I see a figure exit the small tunnel. What looks like a corpse is following him, ghostlike and charmed to follow the silhouette. I feel the urge to run until I realize that it's James and the nightmarish thing following him must be Snape's corpse. 'Oh God,' I thought, 'What have I done?' And, to both my surprise and James's, I start to bawl. Huge, wracking sobs shake my body as I bury my face in my hands, pressing my palms into the sockets of my eyes, all of the torturous things I'd put him through coming to light. I was desperate to remove the vision that was seared into my mind; Severus Snape being eaten alive by a werewolf, who was one of my best friends. Guilt curls up in my stomach, I feel like I had been punched in the gut and was now gasping for air. How could I have been worried about going to Azkaban while Snape could have been dead, gone forever? This starts a set of even more violent sobs than before.

Suddenly, I feel familiar arms wrap around my small shoulders, and a familiar voice whispered; "Don't cry, Nikki, it's okay, it's okay. He's just unconscious." Immense relief welled up inside my chest, surging through my body like a dam had broken. My sobbing recedes to a quiet snuffling, then nothing. James helps me up, and I wipe at my cheeks furiously, desperate to remove any evidence of my tears. The three of us continue up to the castle, James and I followed ominously by Snape's enchanted body.

I was still shook up from earlier and embarrassed that James had seen me cry. I tried to seem as normal as possible as I avoided his gaze. I looked out over the lake, the moon's light reflected off of its surface. The pearl-like smoothness of the water was emitting a burning light that seared your eyes. The satellite was no brighter than usual, but in relation to the surrounding darkness it was a blazing fireball, the incandescent white light blinding against the fathomless black sky.

End Flashback

I stood up, crossing my chambers to reach my window, its picturesque view morphed into something from a child's nightmares. The tall, forbidding shadows of the trees overlapped and intertwined, forming a grotesquely beautiful landscape that looked so much different in daylight. Above them, the full moon loomed, aloof and unconcerned with the petty concerns of mere men.

I couldn't fathom how Sirius could have done such a horrible thing. Was there a dark side of my friend that I had no idea about? Or did he just have a moment of pure stupidity? He had to know that he was effectively killing Snape by telling him about the Willow, right? Did he think that Snape deserved death? Sirius would never answer these questions by himself, and I could only make the matter worse by asking him about it.

And what about Snape? He had gone into the tunnel, suspecting nothing. Why? What had Sirius told him that made him explore that dark, foreboding passage? Surely he must have realized it was a trick? I knew not the answers to these questions, either. I was determined to find out, though. I was determined to find out what really happened That Night.