Disclaimer: *Sighs a 'I don't own JACK in this story, maybe the creativness' sigh.*
Warning: Language, whiney Reno. That's about all the extremes in this Fic.
Hello lovely people! Me again. I edited this fic adding more awesomness to it, along with cleaning up some spelling issues. Whoopsies! This is just one of MANY short stories I have written for FFVII
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What are you waiting for? After this story go check the others out!
Review please!
~Sabby-Sama
Tannning
"Yo, why me?" The redheaded Turk, Reno whined. He was in 7th Heaven sitting at a bar stool with Tifa, Yuffie, and Aerith surrounding him.
"Because, we have a coupon! If four people go, 10% gets cut off of the total visit price!" Said no other than the great Wutaian ninja, Yuffie. "You HAVE to come with us."
"Why can't you take another chick with you? Take Elena, just leave me the hell alone!" Reno shouted out as if he were being abducted by aliens and was giving Elena over as a sacrifice, but instead, a group of women. He squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears with his hands hoping they would all just leave him be with his Vodka shots. Especially the ninja, her voice was ear shattering!
"Reno, you are coming tanning with us, and that is final wether you like it or not." This stern motherly voice came from Tifa, who had her fists on her hips, and bent closer to Reno so he could hear.
This was what the whole argument was about. Tanning. Yuffie got a coupon in the mail from Del Sol Tanning Salons and she just HAD to use it. But for it to be valid there had to be a fourth person in the party, so they desiced to bring Reno.
"If ya wanna take a guy so bad to go tanning with you just to see them naked or somethin'; why don't ya just take Cloud? He needs a tan as bad as he needs to get laid." Reno said grinning at his cleverness. Oh, Reno.
"Cloud's pale beyond repair, and besides, that's why Tifa's in his life!" Yuffie exclaimed, laughing at the embarrased look she saw on Tifa's face.
"How 'bout that Vincent guy? He might be into weird shit like that. He is kinda creepy already." Reno snorted thinking about a very awkward conversation he had with Vincent once.
"His skin is like, attached to that damn cape. Yuffie would know that more than anyone." Tifa bit back at the ninja. She winked at her. Yuffies face grew red in anger. There just might be a hissy fit soon..
Reno was running out of people to get dragged into this situation. For once in his life he couldn't think of a cunning excuse.
"Oh! I know, take Rude!" The redhead said hoping that this would be his ticket out of this mess.
The three girls laughed. Yuffie snorted," Have you seen Rude lately? He can only get bleached." Reno opened his mouth but she quicky cut him off before he got to speak. "And don't bring Barret into this either, he's got the same problem!" Reno slumbed in his stool.
"But a man going tanning is just so GAY. I don't need a tan. Besides, i'm already too sexy for my shirt." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and put his hands behind his way in a failed attempt to look sexy. Tifa and Yuffie rolled their eyes at his conceitedness. Aerith, who was not included in this conversation much finally spoke in a sweet voice.
"Please, Reno?" She had her arms behind her back in her usual position, a questioning smile on her face. He looked off to the side where she was standing. Reno sighed in defeat
"Fine, ya chicks owe be big time. I'm only doing this because I was politely asked. Something TWO CERTAIN PEOPLE. Didn't bother doing. Let's just get this point across, I ain't fuckin' gay. Got that? And if I become a Gay Magnet it's all ya faults" Reno shot daggers at Tifa and Yuffie. They both cheered and Aerith smiled widely and clapped her hands excitedly while jumping up and down. Reno gulped down his last shot of Vodka. He was going to need it.
"Well what are we waiting for? They close at 5:30, Lets go!" Snapped an impatient Yuffie. She grabbed Reno's wrist and dragged him outside the bar.
A Del Sol tanning center finally had a grand opened in Midgar about a week ago. It was six blocks from the bar so they walked. Everyone anticipated the tanning of their lives, while Reno dreaded it. Why didn't I come up with a better excuse? I must be getting rusty, yo. Reno thought while walking. The girls were all gabbing rapidly about the tans and how sexy they would be once they left, blah blah blah. Reno shut them out. They got to the tanning salon faster than Reno thought they would. SHIT.
Walking in, the place was filled with women. Reno felt awkward because he was the only man in the place.
Aerith had gone up to the woman at the counter, and showed the coupon to her. Reno leaned back against a wall and rubbed his temples. I need a cig..
"Ok guys, it's out turn!" Areith said excitedly in a high pitched squeal. Their group walked to the back of the tanning salon where everything was. Reno was the last one.
"The coupon is for spray tans, so that's what we need to get for the discount." Yuffie explained.
One of the employees came up to them and started to lecture them about the saftey rules, what to do in the spray tan machine, ect. Reno wasn't really paying attention. He was just worrying about how this would destroy his reputation of a manly, badass Turk at ShinRa once everyone saw him. They all took their clothes off in seperate rooms, Reno with some hesitation at first. They wrapped a towel around themselves. There was only one spray tanner so they had to take turns.
Of course, they all insisted on Reno going first.
"Just get it over with. You'll be fine!" Tifa pushed Reno forward into what he thought looked like a space pod that would launch him into space. That would have been better than going through with this.
Once inside the pod, he pressed the button and closed his eyes. Reno freaked out at how cold the sprays of artificialy colored liquid was. Once it stopped spraying him he put his towel back on after stumbling around for it since he was afraid to open his eyes. The pods doors opened up and he nearly tripped out of it.
The girls jaws dropped at they started at Reno with wide eyes.
Tifa, "OH."
Yuffie, "MY."
Aerith, "GOD!" She finished with a squeak.
Reno opened his eyes quickly and he darted them from each of their faces, trying to read their expressions. What where they freaking out about? Did he somehow lose an arm while in the machine or something? He checked. Nope, still ther- "OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THIS?" Reno's voice came out as a startled squeak way worse then Aerith's. That was so not manly
The redhead spun around to look at the full body sized mirror behind him so fast he almost lost his towel. His eyes bulged out of his head as he panicked. Orange. He was ORANGE.
He turned around slowly and looked at the girls, his hands forming a death grip on his towel. He glared at them with such rage they froze in place.
At work the next day...
"Reno, Rufus needs to see you in his office." Rude said as he opened the door to their office. He snickered at Reno's orange skin for the billionth time in the past 4 hours. "Shut the fuck up." Reno snapped at Rude. Rude closed the door and the redheaded Turk with the now orange skin stood up and made his way to Rufus's office.
"Yo, you wanted to see me, Boss?" Rufus turned around from the window in his swivel desk chair and glanced at him, hands folded on his lap. When Rufu's saw him for the first time that day, a giggle threatened to break the now wavering professional look on his face.
"Yes, I'm not sure if you noticed but your... orange skin is being a distraction to everyone else in the building."
Reno's eye started to twitched.
In an alternate universe~
Reno stepped out of the pod and the girls eyes boggled out of their heads.
Tifa, "DROP."
Yuffie,"DEAD."
Aerith,"SEXY!"
Reno had a fabulous sun kissed skin tone. His skin was GLOWING. He looked at him self in the mirror and ran a hand through his untamed hair and grinned. "I was always sexy, yo. I'm just drop dead sexy-ER." Reno winked at his reflection.
Walking to work the next day..;
Reno had his uniform jacket slung over his soldier as he strut to the ShinRa building. His car got towed yesterday since he left it parked in the so called "handicapped" parking space at 7th Heaven. Those lying Midgar cops...
Whistles could be heard from across the street. Reno turned his head to look hoping to see a hot babe getting hassled by a group of men. But instead, there were a group of guys looking at HIM.
"Hey, sexy! How you doin'?" One of the men shouted in an attempt at a cat call.
Reno kept walking, rolling his eyes as he gave the guy the finger. "Faggy fairies." Reno mumbled under his breath. Yup, he had officialy become a Gay Magnet. His worst fear. He sarcasticly thought;
How lovely, yo.