Title: A Bullet Kills
Author: hopefulwriter27
Rating: PG
Summary: Grief is a horrible thing. It kills as much as a bullet.
Author's Notes: This takes place after the 9/9/2010 episode of ATWT. Spoilers for that.
There's a bullet in his chest. It rips through him, expanding, tearing, damaging until there's nothing but pain and horror and utter disbelief.
"Luke?"
His name is whispered.
Why? Luke thinks. Why is he saying my name? Can't he see I'm dying?
"Luke?" It's more forceful this time. Not angry, which is unfamiliar. Worry. Sadness.
He presses his fist against his chest, trying to stop his heart from falling out. "Go away." Let me die in peace. The water before him reflects mud and silt. Ripples scatter like fleeing insects across the surface at every plummeting raindrop.
"Come out of the water." It's plea, not a command, so Luke doesn't listen.
Instead, he lets his hand fall into the void the murky water provides. He spreads his fingers wide, surprised to find them clear of blood. Finally he speaks. "It hurts." The words rasp across his throat, burning, scalding a path down his body and across his mouth.
Little waves of water cascade outwards as his hand trembles.
I can't handle this.
"I know." Feet shuffle towards him, the sound is louder than the booming thunder that shakes the ground. Tennis shoes squelch in newly made mud. Water laps at the back of his knees. A hand touches his shoulder. "I know it hurts," Noah whispers into his ear. Luke doesn't turn to look. "But you can't be out here. It's dangerous."
Lightening tears across the sky and suddenly Luke can see his own reflection. "I remembered." The smell of bleach and potato chips tickles his memory and Luke closes his eyes and wishes. "He liked storms." Sickness bubbles in his chest and Luke can't control his sob. "He said they were nature's way of clearing the air." Tears mix with rain, and Luke doesn't care. "I just wanted to share this one with him."
The hand on his shoulder clamps down and another wraps around Luke's arm. "You can remember with him, but Luke he wouldn't want you to get hurt because of him." He's pulled backwards until he's out of the water.
Something snaps. "Everyone talks about what Reid wanted. He wanted to get Chris a heart. He wanted to give Chris his heart. Reid would want me to move on and be happy. What about what I want!" Luke spins around, forcing the hands from his body. Noah takes a step back, startled. Luke yells through his tears, "I want a life with Reid. I want lazy Sunday mornings and arguments about what movie we're going to see." He steps forward and pushes Noah back. "I want passionate make-up sex and to grow old together."
Noah flinches, and suddenly, Luke's drained. He can't fight or cry.
"Luke," Noah says again.
Luke looks away. There's nothing to do. Nothing to say. Nothing will make this better.
What's the point? His eyes flicker to the pond. To Reid. No, not to Reid. Reid's dead.
It's in him, the bullet.
Killing him.
Ripping his insides out.
I wish I were already dead.