I wrote this quite some time ago, and figured that maybe the readers of my previous stories would find this interesting. (I have all KINDS of things I wrote about Goliathus…he's so freaking real to me sometimes.) It's like reading an actual journal entry or one of Ami's reports on her rather unusual therapy patient. (She is a psychologist, in case you forgot.) I went over it and the only real changes I made were to spell-check… sigh….this is from an era when I could write, and write well. I actually get a bit teary-eyed because I think maybe my brain is failing me. I just can't seem to write like this anymore….I sincerely want my heradus muses back. Where did they go!

Please lend a review if you liked this and maybe I'll release more of them. Oh and don't bother to read this without reading "Soul-changing", or you'll have absolutely no freaking clue what this is all about.

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Resistance Tests

(Ami)

Well since this is his weakness right here...not so much the hunger as the ability to resist it...I insisted we come up with a simple line of test procedures to try and strengthen his almost non-existent willpower. This would be quite important to say the least, since in extreme situations even human friends could be part of his menu, whether he really wanted it or not.

I also, being female, thought of the more intuitive possibilities, such as this possibly being used against him by enemies, who could force him to eat humans and once again sleep. (Therefore being useless...hibernating for a sum of 23 years once more.)

Of course the vampires would love that, wouldn't they? Then Goliathus would be out of their hair for a time.

But then we wouldn't get to see him for a long time either, and of course that's not something I want to happen. That's a looooong time in human terms, folks.

So anyhow, all was agreed, and we started the tests. We would use grade levels for success, from 1-10. 1 being like no hesitation whatsoever, and 10 being complete control. The test was certainly nothing complicated. We would simply wait until Goliathus was nice and hungry, then bring him into the meeting room, behind the gate (that we don't use anymore really). Then we'd bring in food and simply witness his reaction. Usually, he is quite eager to get to it. His first reaction is to wait, which in itself is a small victory (he has learned to be more patient), but this can quickly become replaced by anger when we refuse to give it to him. (Even if he does know he is being tested.) The anger seems to confuse him, he knows he has no real reason to think any of us would do this purposefully to starve him. But still, he usually starts growling, or even making noises of protest. (Huffy growls.) The next action is to start pacing. His thoughts become more jumbled, demanding. Before he gets too angry, we usually give him the food. Within five minutes he is back to being calm and reserved.

Then there is the test without the gate. Just to let him in the room, with the food on the table. The first several times he simply tilted his head as if slightly perplexed (for we always feed him in the Atrium), but then devoured the contents of the buckets without further thought. (We did not tell him straight off these were tests, though being as smart as he is, he probably was suspicious.) Later on when it was revealed to him what we were doing, he made more of an effort. The next few times was him simply staring for maybe ten minutes, then wolfing it down. Hmm...not a big success. I allowed several of these little tests to go on without intervention. We never got past level 2, some argued it was still 1.

I then would be sending thoughts to him from up in the Observatory. Simple ones, such as "Wait" or "No.". This went okay at first, since he always listens to me. But the more time went on, the less he was willing to obey, until he finally outright ignored me and went for it. The best was only twenty minutes.

Then I would stand in the room myself. The first time he purred when he came into the room. ( :grins: This is because I have often hand- fed him, which he loves.)

He simply stood there, a bit confused, but grinning. I kept my thoughts very positive. Goliathus remained placid and kept purring at my simple presence. A couple of minutes went by and then he moved towards the table. I told him no and moved it away. He blinked at me, but sat down. (Of course he knew this was another test, and also understood why we were doing this.) Later on, he reminded us of his hunger and insisted. Again, I said no, told him to wait. (But I left it on the table.) A bit miffed but still fairly calm, he stayed where he was. I sat and watched the clock. Another ten minutes strolled by, we had now broken the previous record of twenty minutes with thirty minutes. Goliathus shifted uncomfortably. I kept soothing him with words, which he responded to, but the purring eventually stopped. He kept eyeing the table. I still told him to wait.

Forty minutes now. At this point, his talons are digging into the floor slightly, leaving marks. He is mentally sending me nothing, only glancing at me now and then. I continue to be positive and praise this new record. Goliathus only grunts, guess he wasn't so thrilled.

Finally, he starts talking again and insists he cannot stand it much longer. I tell him he has to learn resistance, or it could lead to misfortunes in the future. I explain exactly what kind of scenarios I worry about. This makes him look thoughtful, and he doesn't argue with it. Still, now nearly an hour has passed, and he is now occasionally sucking his teeth or looking extremely anxious. (Common behaviors.)

I can only think of keeping the atmosphere positive, and let him know I think we are really doing very well here.

I'm quite pleased when the full hour has passed...and then some. It's now been 75 minutes. (Long, grueling minutes for him, I'm sure.) Goliathus suddenly stands up, and goes to the table. I insist he still wait, but he doesn't seem to want to listen this time. So I make my own move and grab the handle of the bucket before he can. This warrants a warning growl in my direction, followed by immediate silence. (He does not like that he still finds himself threatening me.) I give him a look but sit down, placing it beside me. He pleads that I let him eat now, but I shake my head.

This begins the usual "tantrum", though incredibly subdued. Rather, he gets angry and starts throwing mental words at me making it clear. I calmly talk back telling him the goal here is to learn resistance, not simple obedience. He's good at that, anyhow.

In a rather snarling huff, he sits back down, his eyes conveying a mixture of extreme irritation and frustration. Another twenty minutes go by, but with him constantly shifting position and looking so irked.

He calms a bit, and asks if we can end it now. I tell him there is really no set time frame, and no, we really can't end it now anyway. It will go on for as long as it must. This doesn't sit well with him. He seems confused now, test or not, and questions why I would starve him like this? Is it really just a test?

Well since that emotionally got to me in the way it was asked, and since he is starting to think in that manner, I quickly move and place the bucket back on the table. Wordlessly, I sit back down, looking a bit upset.

Blinking, he sits there for a few moments, then slowly goes to move. I don't interfere and so in mere seconds it is gone, with more requested.

So we consider this stage four, but mainly because of me being there. Without me, it still goes only has high as maybe two. We're in for a long, long road, I think.

---End.