Author's note : This is the first time I've written anything. I loved the McKeller scenes in The Last Man and I wanted to explore some of the relationship as it seemed to me in the episode. I'd be interested in any feedback anyone has.

The Anguish of Rodney McKay

The wind howling across the open grave forced the minister to shout to be heard but Rodney McKay wasn't listening. Jennifer's father stood beside him quietly crying. McKay didn't cry, he couldn't cry, he just felt numb. The same thought kept running through his mind, this shouldn't be happening. The injustice of it all stung him as his mind drifted.

He was in bed, their first night in their new house on Earth. The first house he had shared with anyone. Jennifer was beside him, as beautiful in sleep as she was awake. How had he ever lived so alone, so detached? None of the things he'd achieved mattered as much as they used to, he didn't care if people recognised his work any more. Life was different, better in fact, he was a better man. She saw things in him that nobody else had, she treated him like a good person and for the first time in his life he felt like one. Kissing her brow he silently thanked her for believing in him and settled into a contented sleep.

He was in a corridor of the SGC and his world had just crashed down around him. The best doctors in the world couldn't save her, he couldn't save her. For years people had expected him to solve any problem and for years he had produced solutions when it counted and now he could do nothing. Jennifer had spent months working night and day to save people and her reward was to die just as things had started to go right in her life? It just wasn't fair and there was nothing he could do about it. What was he going to do now? How could he live without her? McKay felt as if he were drowning in fear. And then the answer came to him.

He was sitting by her bed. He hadn't left since she'd been diagnosed Her condition had deteriorated sharply but she was still beautiful to his eyes. McKay could tell she was worried about him, even on her deathbed she was more concerned for other people than herself. She had told him to go home and rest but he couldn't leave her. He hadn't mentioned his plan again, the thought of him devoting his life to it had clearly upset her but without her he didn't have a life. Gently her hand squeezed his, interrupting his reverie.

"Hey," she said, smiling weakly.

"Hey," he smiled back, hoping she couldn't sense the despair he felt. She could though, she knew him too well.

"Oh Rodney," she said, "Don't be sad about this, be happy at the time we had."

"I am," he said, "You've shown me so much, given me so much. I just wish I had a better way to show you how much I love you."

"You don't need to Rodney, I know. Whatever you do, remember I love you."

There was so much still to say but he never got the chance, her eyes closed for the last time as she finished speaking.

The minister had finished. Zelenka was shaking his hand, grief and compassion etched on his face. Distantly McKay realised it was kind of him to come back for the funeral. He stayed by the grave for a very long time. At last he turned away, his mind focused. Jennifer was a special person that had given a great deal to the world. He would have gladly died to save her. Now he would live to save her, however long it took, whatever it cost him. The timeline would change and their love might never kindle but it didn't matter, he loved her too much to let her life end here.