Falling into Madness
Based on Story Prompt #6 by kweandee (I had so much fun writing this!)
Morgana's face contorted with rage as she watched the three figures from afar. Arthur and Gwaine were standing in a stream, barefoot, their breeches pulled up to their knees and their shirts off. They were splashing at Merlin who sat on the shore cleaning a pair of boots. Laughter rung out across the distance and echoed off the cliff walls, which had the unfortunate effect of amplifying the noisy fun they were having.
Why was Arthur laughing? It was mere weeks ago that Morgana had raised a shade of Lancelot in the pool of Nemhain and enchanted Gwen's bracelet, causing her to love Lancelot once more and betray Arthur. Arthur, though unwilling to execute Gwen, had her banished. Morgana knew this would have broken Arthur's heart. He should be slowly going mad. Instead, here he was, like he didn't have a care in the world, frolicking in a bloody stream!
Then Arthur began to sing. She couldn't make out all of the words but it seemed he was teasing Merlin by singing a song about him. She had to hold in a shriek of anger. Uther and Arthur had slowly driven her mad with their hypocrisy regarding magic and their feelings of Arthur's entitlement to the throne. How dare he be ok whilst she suffered. She would make him pay. Yes, she would get even. She would send Arthur mad.
"Enjoy yourself while you still can, dear brother. Madness awaits." An evil grin spread over her face.
xxx
Merlin took pleasure in the warmth of the sun shining down on him. It was one of those rare balmy days in Camelot and Arthur had wanted to take advantage of it. Arthur had suggested to Gwaine that they go out for a hunt, it was implied that Merlin would tag along. Hunting had been forgotten when they'd come upon the stream, Arthur and Gwaine stripping off and wading in to cool down from the hot, early afternoon sun.
Arthur and Gwaine splashed about, laughing boisterously. They kicked water toward Merlin, where he sat beside the stream, cleaning mud off Arthur's boots. The water sprayed Merlin's clothes and he blinked as water hit him in the eye, evoking louder laughter from the exuberant pair. Not that Merlin was complaining. He could think of worse ways to spend his afternoon than watching his King and one of Camelot's most loyal Knights splashing about, bare-chested.
Merlin found both men rather fanciable. Gwaine was sexy with his well-defined muscles, long flowing hair and his come-to-bed eyes. And Arthur, he'd always aroused Merlin with his broad shoulders, shapely bum and his sensuous lips. And his eyes... his eyes! Words were insufficient to describe his big, blue eyes. Pity he's such a royal prat, Merlin thought as Arthur began to tease him in a sing-song voice.
"There lives a man named Merlin
As useless as can be
He is a hopeless servant
Who, sadly, belongs to me"
Gwaine was laughing at Arthur's song. "Ohhhh, poor Merlin," he called but didn't stop chuckling. Merlin tried not to smile as he sat there just shaking his head.
"He's afraid of getting wet
He's scared of the world
And that's how I discovered
That Merlin is, in fact, a girl"
"Doesn't even rhyme," Merlin cried out. Arthur ignored him.
"He's a scruffy looking servant
With really big ears"
"Hey!" Merlin called in defence.
"I find him so annoying
And... and..."
Arthur paused as he tried to come up with something that rhymed with ears.
"And he always interferes," Gwaine sung.
Arthur threw his head back with a short burst of laughter. "I like that," he told Gwaine patting him on the back.
"The people of Camelot are very fortunate to have a mature King, such as yourself, to rule them," Merlin shouted, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Is my voice too loud, Merlin? Am I hurting your large, protruding ears?" Arthur threw at him and laughed wildly at his own joke.
"You asked for this," Merlin muttered under his breath, his eyes flashing gold as his magic knocked Arthur over onto his butt. Gwaine doubled over with laughter, holding his legs just above the knees, trying to catch his breath. Merlin relished in a guilty little smile.
The stream was shallow and even sitting, the water only came up to Arthur's midsection. Arthur's reaction surprised Merlin. Instead of getting angry or embarrassed, he laughed along with Gwaine and leaned back, immersing all but his head under the water. He watched Arthur with an expression of fondness on his face. This was the most relaxed and kicked-back that he had seen Arthur since Gwen's banishment from Camelot. It was actually a relief to see him laughing and enjoying himself.
Once their laughter had subsided, Gwaine helped Arthur to his feet and the two men waded out of the stream. Merlin stood and handed Gwaine's shirt to him who took it giving Merlin a quick wink. He smiled in return and turned to hand Arthur's to him.
"I'm too wet to put that on just now." There was an imposing quality to his voice. Water dripped off his body as he moved closer and Merlin couldn't help but feel attracted to the casual, masculine sexiness thing that Arthur had going on right now. He grabbed at Merlin's shirt and proceeded to use it to dry himself.
"No, don't," Merlin cried out, trying to push Arthur from him. "Stop it."
"Scared of a bit of water, eh Merlin?"
"Bastard," he half-whispered as he squirmed out of Arthur's grip. All he managed to do was turn away before Arthur grabbed him from behind, his arms coming around him as he pressed his chest to Merlin's back. Merlin felt the wetness soak into his thin clothes as Gwaine stood by laughing.
"Starting to feel a little drenched, Merlin?" Arthur bullied. Merlin groaned in annoyance, but in all honesty, there was no other place in the world he'd rather be, right now, than in Arthur Pendragon's strong arms.
xxx
Morgana pushed the hood of her black cloak from her head as she stared down at the piece of jewellery she had chosen for Arthur's curse. It was an ornamental ring with a red stone. On the part of the ring that you would see if peering at your palm something was inscribed. The engraving was one simple word, etched in the language of the Old Religion. Madness.
Morgana looked to the other side of the bench. A dead rat. She'd killed it using the poison, belladonna and had sliced it open. She picked up the ring and pushed it into the dead creature, then holding her hand over the rat she recited a chant with dark ancient words, three times over until the rat felt very hot. At the last moment she removed her hand as the dead animal burst into flames. Her magic created fire of great intensity and in a short time the rat had disintegrated to ash. All that was left was the ring.
She breathed out another ancient word that roughly translated as 'abate'. The ring lost heat and she picked it up and held it to the light, admiring the ring's ruby that now glowed with the subtle magic that only a sorcerer's eyes could see.
Now she just had to find a peasant who needed a bit of coin and who wanted to shake his adored King's hand. The curse of madness had been invoked and there was no reversing the spell. Soon Arthur would be reliving his worst experience and it would slowly drive him mad. Morgana's eyes sparkled in anticipation.
xxx
The three men rode back to Camelot, teasing and ribbing each other along the way. It came as a bit of a surprise to Arthur when he realised he was thoroughly enjoying himself. He hadn't had this kind of fun since Guinevere had betrayed him and he had to admit it was good to laugh again.
He'd never say it out aloud but he really enjoyed Merlin's company. Though challenging and mysterious, Arthur found him strangely intuitive and totally amusing. He admired the witty and sarcastic quips Merlin sent his way but he also liked his softer side. This was a side Merlin rarely showed, but he seemed to reveal it in the moments Arthur needed it most. He trusted Merlin more than he trusted anyone, and trust was in short supply these days.
Lately, he'd found he'd also begun to appreciate the times he spent with Gwaine. Other than finding him a trustworthy and reliable Knight, Arthur was beginning to feel the bonds of real friendship between the two of them. Fortunately, Gwaine was as good at finding a way out of trouble as he was at falling into it and Arthur found himself looking at life from a different angle when it came to Gwaine. As time had gone on, he found that Gwaine had grown and grown in his estimations.
As they reached the outskirts of the city they dismounted and led their horses. Arthur heard Gwaine mumble something and thought he heard the word 'Sire'.
"Are you talking to me?" Arthur asked, turning to his Knight.
Gwaine was looking at his horse's backside. He acted mock-surprised as he turned to Arthur. "I thought I was talking to you. But now I see it's my horse's arse. You can see where I'd get confused, Sire?"
Merlin dissolved into fits of laughter. Arthur stared at Gwaine with intimidation in his eyes, holding his gaze for approximately ten seconds before turning back around.
This was how it was between the three of them. Sometimes Merlin and Gwaine teased Arthur, other times, like earlier that afternoon, Gwaine and Arthur picked on Merlin and then there were moments Arthur and Merlin ganged up against Gwaine.
"I can't believe he's going to let you get away with that!" Merlin proclaimed. "If I had said that he'd knock my head off my shoulders."
"Probably knows he can't take me," Gwaine provoked. "Am I right, Arthur?"
Arthur turned around slowly.
"Arthur? Did you say Arthur?" a voice asked from next to the trio. He turned to look at what appeared to be a farmer. "Sire, it is you," the man exclaimed and sunk into a bow.
"It's nice to meet you," Arthur nodded.
"I was so grateful for the financial support you gave us farmers, earlier in the year. It wasn't much of a harvest. Not much you can do when it's the weather's fault," the farmer babbled. Arthur nodded as the farmer rambled on a little while longer. He noticed that Gwaine and Merlin were suppressing laughter.
"Thank you, thank you. Now I really must be getting on." Arthur tried to excuse himself as politely as he could muster.
"If I could just ask for the honour, to shake the King's hand. Your Majesty, it would mean so much to me?" the farmer propositioned.
Arthur shook the man's hand quickly, if only to get rid of him. In that moment he felt a sudden jolt of... a memory. A memory from long past and then it was gone, the farmer was on his way and Gwaine and Merlin were letting their laughter out.
"He was completely in awe of you," Merlin said disbelievingly then added, "Pity he didn't see you land on your arse today."
"Well, I'm just surprised he could tell him apart from his twin brother here," Gwaine teased, gesturing to his horse's rear end.
Arthur rolled his eyes and groaned as the other men chuckled.
They headed toward the castle.
xxx
Morgana felt the moment her magic had taken its effect and a brilliantly evil smile lit up her whole face. It was still quite a few hours from sundown but by this time tomorrow Arthur would be insane.
xxx
The three men reached the stables where they returned their horses.
"Gentleman. Are either of you up for ale and maybe some gambling in the tavern?" Gwaine was having a fine day and didn't want it to end yet.
"Sounds good to me," Merlin answered hesitantly. He glanced at Arthur for approval for time off.
"You two go ahead," Arthur said nodding approval at Merlin.
"I can't tempt you to join us?" Gwaine asked Arthur with just the smallest undertone of flirtation in his voice.
Flirting was one of Gwaine's favourite pastimes and it came very easily to him. He often flirted with Merlin and Merlin wasn't shy in flirting back, commonly initiating playful and harmless advances. On the other hand Gwaine had to be very cautious when flirting with Arthur. He was never sure just how he would take him. He was the King of Camelot, after all, and up until a few weeks ago had been courting Gwen.
Gwaine enjoyed Merlin and Arthur's company immensely. Merlin had been the first person that Gwaine had been able to call 'friend' in a long time. He now felt strongly that he could add the King to his short list. It was easy for Gwaine to admit to himself how much he desired his two friends. It was harder to admit to himself how much he wanted to be a part of their little clique.
Gwaine was frequently a witness to Merlin and Arthur's very intimate friendship. The two men appeared to have the ability to read each other's minds. Their constant ribbing and tomfoolery was part of the warm affection that they shared. The trust between them was obvious and Gwaine wanted in. There was also the occurrence of their constant eye-fucking across crowded rooms. Participation in that little activity would be nice too. He had become closer to the two of them than he'd ever hoped. Now he wanted to get closer still.
Gwaine awaited Arthur's response. He looked like he was throwing things around in his mind. Unfortunately for Gwaine, Arthur decided in the negative.
"Some of us have a Kingdom to run."
"What a load of bollocks. Let the men visit the tavern then, Merlin," Gwaine replied as his voice developed a goading tone. "We'll leave the Princess to do Princess things." He hoped this would provoke Arthur and get him to change his mind. Merlin snickered.
As Gwaine and Merlin started to leave Arthur suddenly doubled over, calling out as if in pain. His hands flew to his head and his features twisted in discomfort. Before Gwaine even had time to understand what was happening Merlin was by Arthur's side gripping his shoulder with concern.
"Arthur, what is it?" Merlin asked uneasily. "Arthur?" Merlin questioned again when he didn't respond.
"I'm fine. I'm alright," Arthur assured him, standing back up to his full height. Merlin took no chances and guided him back to the bench against the stable wall, sitting Arthur down.
"What happened?" Merlin asked.
"I... I don't really know. It was just a sudden memory, so strong I could feel it. Just startled me is all," Arthur explained.
Merlin looked to Gwaine with confusion in his eyes. Gwaine mirrored the expression back and shrugged.
"You must be distressed. Well, why wouldn't you be?" Merlin offered. "I can only imagine how hard it would be dealing with Gwen's departure-"
"Merlin!" Arthur thundered, grabbing Merlin's shirt and pulling him down to eye-level so that his face was only inches from Arthur's. "I am not distressed. Got that?" Gwaine was aware of how sensitive he had been recently when it came to discussing Gwen. He couldn't believe Merlin had had the nerve to bring it up.
Merlin peeled Arthur's fingers from his shirt and stood back up, a frown on his face. "Ok, fine, you don't appear distressed at all," he scoffed, looking to Gwaine with a disbelieving expression.
"What was the memory of?" Gwaine asked.
"Just something from a long time ago," Arthur answered mysteriously. "Strange, I had a small flash earlier too."
"When?" Merlin questioned.
"Back on the road, when we ran into the farmer, just as he shook my hand."
A look of panic crossed Merlin's face and he asked to see Arthur's hand. Arthur was confused but held his hand out to him.
"What's this?" Merlin asked. Gwaine moved in closer and could see what Merlin was talking about. On Arthur's right hand, at the top of his palm, right under his middle finger was a little mark that looked like a burn. But there was something more to it. It looked like a word, scrawled in an unknown language.
"This is sorcery!" Merlin declared.
"Hold on a moment," Arthur said. "I think we're getting ahead of ourselves."
"Merlin's right. I figured that guy's ring was too flash for a simple farmer," Gwaine announced. "We should take you to Gaius."
Arthur half-laughed. He looked up at his two companions, glancing left and right between the two of them. "Ok, ok, if it will shut you two mother hens up, we'll go to Gaius," he agreed.
Gwaine had a bad feeling about this.
xxx
"Madness," Gaius told them. "In the language of the Old Religion."
"Madness," Arthur repeated, frowning. "What does this mean?"
"Well, I'll have to look into it further, Sire, but from the circumstances you have explained to me and looking at this mark I would say that you have been cursed."
"Cursed? With what? Madness?" Arthur asked. He was immediately uncomfortable.
"I'm afraid so," Gaius responded. "It gets worse. I believe this to be a curse crafted of very powerful magic. You will start to feel as if you are reliving the experience that you are remembering."
Arthur thought back to his episode in the stable just now. He had felt like he was being punched in the head, one of the beatings he'd received from a dark time in his youth. The memories that were resurfacing were memories from an event that Arthur had tried very hard to block out. He had, in fact, been very successful at this. The event had almost crippled him once upon a time. He certainly didn't want memories of it rising up from the deep canyons of his subconscious. They were horrific and if he had to relive the experiences associated with the incident... well, he knew it was enough to literally send him mad.
"This sorcerer of a farmer, should we track him down?" Gwaine wondered.
"He'll have been a pawn. He was no sorcerer," Merlin said with certainty.
Arthur stared a moment at Merlin before turning his glance to Gaius. "So, how do we reverse the curse?" he asked.
Gaius looked down, a troubled expression on his face. He didn't have to explain, Arthur knew this meant there was no way to reverse it.
"Arthur, you said you were remembering things from long ago. What are the memories of?" Gaius asked.
Arthur paused and looked toward Merlin and Gwaine. He could see that the two of them were dying to know the answer to Gaius' question. However, these were memories that he didn't want to share. This was an event in his life that he didn't want even his two closest friends to know about. It would invite their pity and sympathy. Arthur wanted no man's pity.
"I'd like to talk with Gaius in private," he announced. His voice was commanding and gave no opportunity for argument. Gwaine nodded, but Merlin caught Arthur's eye with a somewhat wounded expression. Arthur looked away quickly. Gwaine and Merlin made their way into Merlin's little side room, leaving him alone with the Physician.
Arthur waited until he heard the door shut before he explained himself to Gaius. "The kidnapping," was all he said.
"Ah," Gaius responded, and there it was. The look of pity on Gaius' face. And it was a look that Arthur detested.
Arthur had been only twelve years old when he became the victim of kidnapping. A large ransom was payed to return Camelot's only heir back to Uther, but in the five days Arthur had been gone he'd undergone horrific and gruesome experiences, some of which were physical and some of which were mental.
Beatings, whippings, being chained up, hot coals on his feet, water thrown over him before being left alone in the cold cell, cockroaches crawling over him in the dark, these were some of the monstrous actions done to him physically. Being told his father wasn't going to pay the ransom, taunting him with sadistic threats, moments of mock execution, these were the barbaric things done to him mentally.
Uther had hidden the fact that Arthur had been kidnapped from the people of Camelot; his reasoning being that if miscreants knew that Uther would pay money, kidnapping Arthur would become a common occurrence. Arthur was grateful nobody knew. Uther never asked Arthur what he had been through, but Arthur was sure he'd discussed it with Gaius. Gaius was the one who had remedied his physical wounds and Gaius was the only one he'd discussed his mental suffering with.
After a considerable amount of crying to Gaius and feeling like a victim, Arthur had taken his thoughts and memories on the kidnapping and buried them deep down, so deep that he almost believed the memories to be gone. Turned out they were only lying dormant. Until now.
"I'm so sorry, Arthur," Gaius said, his voice full of compassion as he placed a comforting hand on Arthur's shoulder.
"I know," Arthur nodded.
xxx
Merlin paced impatiently back and forth in his room as Gwaine sat, resigned, on Merlin's bed. What was Arthur hiding from him? What was so private? Didn't he trust him?
Gwaine reached out quickly and unexpectedly, grabbing Merlin's wrist and pulling him onto the bed next to him.
"Calm down, would you?"
"Why can't he tell me what these memories are?" Merlin asked, but he knew Gwaine didn't have the answer. "I know everything about him," he went on. "At least I thought I did." Obviously not.
"He trusts you. It's obviously just a very personal thing for Arthur," Gwaine reasoned.
He sighed, caught up in his insecurities.
"Merlin," Gwaine began, placing both his hands upon Merlin's shoulders and getting his attention. His usually playful brogue was now deep and determined. Merlin waited. "I suppose Arthur knows everything about you?"
Merlin considered his magic. He'd obviously never told Arthur about it. He'd kept a lot from Arthur over the years, mostly because of his magic. He was also keeping his romantic and lustful feelings from him, but he assumed this was something Arthur wouldn't want to know about anyway, despite the returned affection he occasionally felt from him.
He threw a coy smile at Gwaine, knowing he was right. Arthur did trust him; he just wanted privacy concerning certain things. It didn't mean that Merlin didn't want to know what Arthur's memories were, but he was prepared to respect his privacy. Unless Gaius wanted to tell him, of course.
"See, I'm right." Gwaine dropped his hands from Merlin's shoulders.
Merlin nodded as he looked into Gwaine's seductive eyes. He reached out his hand, gently squeezing his cheek. "Not just a pretty face," he flirted before letting his hand fall away. Gwaine bit his lip, his gaze alternating between Merlin's eyes and his mouth. Just then, Gaius called them back.
"Arthur and I have discussed the matter and we think it best he remains in his chambers to ride this thing out. If I'm right about this curse, it is designed to drive a person mad within twenty four hours. Now, I will see what further information I can gather with regard to this specific curse," Gaius explained. "In no circumstances should Arthur be left alone. This thing is going to get bad."
"We'll keep him company, won't we Merlin?" Gwaine offered cheerfully.
Arthur rolled his eyes at Gwaine but Merlin could see the relief in his expression.
"There is no need to worry the people or court of Camelot. Gaius, inform them that I have a simple fever," Arthur instructed. Gaius nodded dutifully.
"You two go ahead, I'll be right with you," Merlin murmured. He kept his eyes from Arthur's, yet somehow, he still felt the heavy stare and the implied warning not to pry.
When he was alone with Gaius, Merlin voiced his first concern. "Can this kill him?"
"Merlin..."
"Tell me the truth, Gaius."
"I believe the curse is designed to send Arthur insane. From there, I suppose it could kill him."
"Can my magic reverse it?" There was little hope in his voice. He'd seen Gaius' reaction earlier, when Arthur had asked if the curse could be reversed.
"No," Gaius answered honestly. "This is extremely powerful magic, Merlin."
"Morgana?" Merlin guessed.
"Could be."
"Can my magic do anything at all?"
"I'm not sure yet. However, I believe if there is a way to help, the answer has to do with the mark on Arthur's hand. This is where the sorcery entered his body," Gaius rationalised.
Merlin hesitated before asking his next question but his curiosity got the better of him. "What is Arthur remembering?"
"Merlin!" Gaius admonished, his eyebrows knitting together disapprovingly.
Merlin nodded, shame spreading over his face. He excused himself, leaving the awkward moment behind him.
xxx
Gwaine and Arthur sat next to each other at Arthur's dining table. There was an obvious tension in the air that was making Gwaine uncomfortable.
"You don't have to stay with me," Arthur blurted out.
Gwaine thought about throwing something light-hearted and funny back at Arthur, instead he chose sincerity. "You must be scared of what's about to come," he stated.
He nodded but didn't meet Gwaine's eye.
"I bet Merlin's trying to get information about my memories out of Gaius, nosy little toerag." Arthur drummed his fingers on the table as he spoke.
"Merlin is a sweetheart," Gwaine defended. "He's worried sick about you."
This seemed to knock the bravado out of Arthur and he dropped his head into his hands. "I know," he admitted. Arthur rubbed his face in his hands, he looked so troubled. Gwaine resisted the urge to reach out and comfort him physically, unsure what Arthur would do with that. Instead he used his words.
"I'm here," he offered. Arthur turned to him with a thoughtful expression. Gwaine continued, "I'll do what I can to protect you." A short silence hung between them as Arthur continued to study his face.
"You're a good man," Arthur responded and gave Gwaine a genuine smile, full of warmth. Gwaine's heart thundered in his chest and he looked away before Arthur read everything he was feeling for him in his eyes. Thankfully, Merlin walked in the door, taking the attention away from Gwaine. Relief flowed through him as his heart returned to a normal rhythm.
xxx
Arthur saw genuine concern in Gwaine's eyes and he smiled fondly at him but there was something more, behind Gwaine's eyes. Something else. Before Arthur had a chance to look any deeper, Gwaine turned away quickly. He stared at Gwaine's profile for a few seconds, feeling puzzled, before Merlin walked in the door.
"Disappointed that you couldn't get any gossip out of Gaius?" Arthur snapped. The guilty look on Merlin's face gave him away. Arthur trusted Gaius' loyalty on this completely but he could tell that Merlin had tried to find out. "Son of a bitch," Arthur mumbled under his breath.
"I wasn't gossiping, Arthur," Merlin began his voice slightly raised. "Believe it or not, I actually care about you. I wish there was something I could do about this curse but I can't do anything. I just have to sit by and watch you suffer..." His eyes were beginning to water as his emotions got the better of him. "...And I don't even know what you're suffering about. So excuse me if I give a damn!"
Arthur watched Merlin, mystified at his intensity and how he was taking this curse onboard as if he should be able to fix it himself. Merlin looked away. Arthur got up and walked around the table to where Merlin stood.
"Merlin." He placed an arm around his shoulders. "It will be alright." Arthur's voice was full of tenderness. He wasn't sure what was making Merlin so sensitive but he could see that Gwaine was right, he was worried sick.
"I should be telling you that it will be alright," Merlin answered turning to him with a small smile. His cheeks were wet with tears.
"Ok then," Arthur replied meaningfully. He took his arm from Merlin and draped Merlin's arm around his own shoulders switching around their positions. "Tell me it will all be alright."
Merlin gave a little laugh, and then he looked into Arthur's eyes, his expression becoming determined and resolute. "It will all be alright," he said and added, "I promise." He felt Merlin's strong grip on his shoulder and he wanted so much to believe him.
Arthur didn't know what to make of him as they stood so close. "You're a mystery, Merlin." He was surprised by his own rough sounding voice and his fluttering heart. Merlin looked perplexed, frowning deep like he was trying to figure Arthur out. Maybe Merlin found him a mystery too.
They were almost in a hug anyway, but Merlin made it official, putting the arm that wasn't around Arthur's shoulders, around his waist and moving in so their bodies were touching. Arthur held Merlin too. It was brief and slightly awkward but he was grateful for the gesture, nonetheless.
"Thanks, I appreciate that," Arthur nodded as they came apart. Why he was suddenly feeling shy Arthur had no idea. He looked down to see Gwaine looking at the two of them incredulously, his arms folded.
"Don't worry about me," he shrugged. "Just pretend I'm not even here. Oh right, you were doing that already." Though his tone was sarcastic he flashed a quick smile to show he was joking.
"Sorry, Gwaine," Merlin grinned and took a few paces over to him, leaning down into a quick and comfortable looking hug with the Knight.
"That's better," Gwaine announced.
The three men made small talk, obvious attempts to diffuse the velocity of what was coming. And then suddenly, without warning another memory hit Arthur like a powerful wave and he was at its mercy.
Arthur was naked, cold and humiliated. His arms were raised above his head, manacled and chained and his face was to the wall. Then a sudden, stinging pain on his back. Arthur cried out. And again. Over and over the lash was brought down onto his back, his buttocks, and the backs of his legs.
Arthur could hear a mewling sound and realised he was listening to himself. Shit, he was crying! He was twelve years old, too old for crying. The man with the whip was grunting and breathing heavily. It must have been a hundred lashes before the brute stopped and left Arthur on his own. Arthur had stopped crying about half way through as it had taken all of his focus not to pass out. Now, alone in the cell, Arthur's eyes closed and he welcomed the sweet oblivion.
Arthur could only see a blur. He heard voices calling from far away. Shapes and colours started to come into focus and then he could see two faces, and they were repeating his name worriedly. And then he was at once aware again, back in his chambers, sat at his dining table. Merlin and Gwaine were stood over him, begging him to respond.
"Yeah," he croaked. "Yeah, I'm ok. I'm alright."
"Arthur," Merlin breathed the relief obvious in his voice.
"Mate, you gave us a hell of a scare just then," Gwaine told him, the relief also evident from his voice too.
"God!" Arthur sighed rubbing his face. His hands came away wet and he looked at them with confusion. "What the-"
"You were crying," Gwaine explained.
"What?" Arthur barked, horrified.
"It doesn't matter," Merlin said quickly. "What happened? You were out of it for about three minutes."
Arthur was shocked. Three minutes. And he was crying. He was literally reliving his experiences from the kidnapping. That's exactly what Gaius had said would happen, but to experience it so vividly was still a shock to his system. He felt sick. The whipping had been humiliating and painful but there were other things that had been worse. Would he have to experience those too? He realised that he was now exhausted. How was he going to make it twenty four hours? Dread formed in his stomach as he began to believe that this curse might actually send him insane.
xxx
The room was silent as the three men ruminated on the afternoon's events. None of them were very hungry, eating only fruit in lieu of any substantial meal. It had been over an hour since Arthur's last 'episode', and Arthur had been very cagey about it. Merlin wished he'd just open up and explain himself. Judging by what Arthur had been like when he was 'in his memory' it must have been pretty horrible and talking about it wouldn't be easy.
He wished that Gaius would come up with some more information, but to be fair, it hadn't really been that long and Merlin knew how long it could take to track down information, pawing through magic books.
Merlin had been thinking about Arthur's safety and if there was anything he could do with his magic. He'd been wondering how he could coax Arthur to speak of his experiences. Now his mind contemplated the moment they'd shared, soon after he had entered Arthur's chambers. It had been lucky that he'd had his arm around Arthur. What with the close proximity of the pair and the way Arthur was looking at him, he had thought his legs would buckle beneath him.
He looked over at Arthur who was deep in his own thoughts. Then he looked at Gwaine who threw a small comforting smile in his direction. Merlin nodded his head in return. At some point they considered who would do this to Arthur. Morgana seemed to be the obvious answer.
A loud knock on the door broke the three men out of their musings. Arthur had told Merlin that he'd instructed the guards, that the only people to come and go from his chambers were Merlin, Gwaine and Gaius. Merlin was hopeful that this was Gaius.
"Is that you Gaius?" Arthur called out.
"No, it's me, Sire." The voice belonged to Agravaine.
Arthur was up immediately. He pointed at Gwaine and then to his privacy screen. Gwaine nodded his understanding, disappearing out of sight.
"I said no visitors," Arthur called again and Merlin could tell he was just stalling.
"I'm not a visitor, I'm your uncle," Agravaine shouted through the door, his voice sounding impatient.
Even while Agravaine was talking, Arthur was moving. He pulled his boots and shirt off in a flash and got beneath his covers. He pointed at Merlin next and then at the door. Merlin nodded. He understood why Arthur was doing this. He wanted his uncle to believe he had a fever. It would look strange if he'd requested no visitors and yet allowed Gwaine into his private chambers. Yet Merlin was Arthur's servant and would be expected to be by his side through his sickness.
Merlin opened the door and Agravaine swept in, giving him a frown as he walked by. Merlin shook his head in disgust once Agravaine had turned his attention to his nephew. Unfortunately, Arthur was unaware just how evil Agravaine was and how he was betraying him. It wasn't long ago that Merlin and Gaius had discovered that Agravaine was working with Morgana. Maybe that's why he was here now. He may be checking to see that the madness curse had taken hold so he could report back to her.
Merlin glanced at the floor as he listened to Agravaine prattle on about the King's safety and his concern for his health. He hoped that Arthur didn't have another wave of memory.
Agravaine left giving Merlin another filthy look. Merlin locked the door behind him.
Gwaine came out from his hiding place, Arthur pulled his shirt back over his head and Merlin went about lighting the lamps and the fireplace as Camelot cooled down. Outside the window, the sun was just passing from sight and he tried to ignore the feeling of impending doom as the night approached.
xxx
Arthur was chained to the wall. He sat forward on his knees, too sore from the whipping he'd received the day before to sit on his backside. The sun had just set and he felt the coldness creeping in. With only his breeches for clothing, he wrapped his arms around his bare chest for warmth. He felt so vulnerable.
Arthur heard footsteps. Getting closer. Closer. Then a bucket of water was thrown over him. Laughter echoed on the cell walls as the footsteps retreated. The water felt colder than Arthur had ever experienced. Then it dawned on him. It was winter and was probably snowing on the mountains. Someone had chilled the water with snow. Bugger! He shivered uncontrollably. He was sure it would be a miracle if he didn't freeze to death.
xxx
"His skin is freezing," Gwaine exclaimed as he held the back of Arthur's neck. "Let's get him in front of the fire." The two of them picked up and half-carried, half-dragged a trance-like Arthur in front of the fireplace.
"I'll get his blanket," Merlin said running to the bed and pulling the cover off. Merlin whispered something under his breath as he rushed back to Arthur and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders.
"What did you say?" Gwaine asked.
Merlin shook his head and waved away Gwaine's question focusing on Arthur. He rubbed his back, quickly up and down, stimulating the heat quicker into Arthur's frozen body. As the three men sat on the floor and Gwaine held on to Arthur's side he noticed the blanket around him felt exceptionally warm. Gwaine had a feeling that something out of the ordinary was happening but he had no time to dwell on it. Arthur's eyes started to swim into focus, his shivering began to subside and colour returned to his cheeks.
"Not again,' Arthur groaned with a raspy voice, and now the heat was making his cheeks a little rosy. Fuck, he's gorgeous, Gwaine thought.
"You were freezing," Merlin told Arthur.
"I know, I know," Arthur nodded and cocked his eyebrow at Merlin humorously. There was no humour on Merlin's face, just pure tension.
Gwaine watched on with a certain kind of envy as Arthur tried to bring a smile to Merlin's lips. It astounded him, the lengths Arthur went to, to make sure Merlin was alright even though it was Arthur who had been the one actually affected.
"Is it hot in here or is it me?" Arthur tried as he let the unnaturally hot blanket fall from his shoulders. Merlin didn't break a smile. Arthur glanced at Gwaine and raised his eyebrows as if to ask him if he had any ideas how to cheer Merlin up. Gwaine shrugged a little, not offering any help. He wanted to see what Arthur would do with this.
"Feeling hot and steamy, Merlin?" Arthur attempted as he stared into Merlin's eyes. He was clearly tired from his little memory attack and his whole demeanour was relaxed and casual as he gently teased him.
"This is worrying, it's not funny," Merlin explained but Gwaine could see the hint of a smile beginning to appear on his face.
"Oooh, baby. You're making me so hot," Arthur ventured. He spared no effort in his attempts to break Merlin, using a deep sexy voice, inching close and leaning in. It was certainly the most flirtatious smile that Gwaine had ever seen on the King and the most playful he'd ever seen him act. It worked too, Merlin began to laugh. Arthur let his head fall on Merlin's shoulder and laughed with relief.
Gwaine couldn't lie to himself. He was jealous! He was inappropriately horny and jealous! However, he was also fascinated by these two men and still hopeful he could get closer. He looked on, nodding his head in approval.
xxx
The three men sat on the floor by the fire. Arthur turned to his right; Merlin was fidgeting with his fingers. He turned to his left; Gwaine was playing absentmindedly with the necklace he wore.
"For pity's sake!" he exclaimed. The two other men turned to Arthur, confused at his outburst.
Arthur paused as he thought about how best to explain his ordeal to his friends. They were here now. Here for him, patient and uncomplaining. They obviously cared a great deal about him and they would never judge him or think less of him because of what happened, of this he was now certain.
"I was kidnapped."
Arthur read the shock on their faces, but if he stopped for questions he didn't think he'd ever continue. "I was only twelve, I was gone for five days, the kidnappers demanded a huge ransom, my father paid and I was returned."
Gwaine had shut his eyes. Merlin was looking at him with deep concentration.
"The experiences that I'm reliving are the things that happened in those five days. In the stable I was reliving a beating, but the magic wasn't as strong then. Then it was a whipping, and just now I was experiencing being left cold and shaking as they poured freezing water over me. Every time I dried another bucket was thrown over me, all night until morning." Arthur was aware that his voice cracked in parts of his story, but he didn't fight it.
"As this curse continues, I'm sure you'll see me experience a few other things I went through, so let me tell you about them. Then I'll be taking questions." Arthur gave a weak smile. Gwaine nodded, and Arthur could see the curiosity in the Knight's eyes. He turned to Merlin; his expression was harder to read. He decided that Merlin was masking his real reaction.
In the warmth of the fire and the safety of his friends he found solace enough to get his story out.
xxx
Merlin was shocked. How could he not know this about Arthur? He listened to his story and felt as if he would break at each new revelation, but he held in his own emotions, convinced that should he allow even a hint of softness, he would crumble and be of no use to Arthur.
xxx
Gwaine was appalled at the story that was coming out of Arthur's mouth. Arthur was even braver than Gwaine had ever thought. He could see that he found it hard to talk about, his voice was shaky in some of the difficult parts, and he was embarrassed in other parts.
Arthur spoke about the fear he had felt when the monsters that had done this to him had lied and told him his father wouldn't pay the ransom. They'd told him that he would be forever their plaything.
"I was more hurt that my father wouldn't pay than I was scared of what they had in mind for me," Arthur explained and tears rolled down his cheeks. "Thankfully, it was a lie."
Gwaine could feel the sting of tears in his own eyes and he reached out a hand without thinking and covered Arthurs hand in his. Instead of pulling his hand away, Arthur clasped his hand in his and held it until he finished his story.
xxx
Arthur was grateful for the silence his two companions afforded him as he made his way through the difficult and often humiliating experience. He was also grateful for the hand Gwaine had offered him to hold. When he opened it up to questions, Gwaine had a few, a detail here or there, a how or a why. Merlin on the other hand remained silent.
Arthur was answering one of Gwaine's questions when another shock wave hit him.
Arthur was chained up so that he was lying on his sore back. His arms were stretched out above his head, hands manacled to the wall. His feet were also manacled to the floor. They'd moved him from his cell into somewhere underground and poured some kind of sticky fluid over his naked chest. His breeches were also covered in the sweet smelling liquid. It was almost completely dark but Arthur could see enough to notice a portion of the wall rising with a creak of rusty chains and the dark black roaches that swarmed out toward him.
They were all over him, trying to crawl in his ears, in his mouth as he screamed and he was choking on them. They were sneaking up the bottom of his breeches, he could feel them creeping up his legs. He twisted and pulled at his manacled hands and feet making them bleed. And he screamed and he screamed and he screamed...
xxx
It had been more than three minutes now and Arthur was still screaming while he squirmed and wriggled around like a mad man. Merlin felt terrible but they'd stuffed a rag into his mouth to stifle the screams lest Arthur's guards think they were torturing him or killing him. Gwaine and Merlin had reached a level of complete panic.
"Get Gaius," Merlin shouted. Gwaine hesitated. "Go," ordered Merlin. Gwaine nodded and took off.
As soon as the door was closed Merlin went with his instincts and grabbed Arthur's right hand, feeling the pulsing witchcraft coming from the mark there. He called out in the ancient tongue, his voice deep and impassioned and then he was there with him, inside Arthur's own mind.
Merlin saw a boy of twelve, undoubtedly Arthur Pendragon. He was chained up and covered in thick, black cockroaches. His screams of terror were deafening as he thrashed about. Blood dripped from his wrists where he struggled against his binds.
"Arthur," he cried out in anguish. The boy stopped screaming and looked up at him, confusion on his face. "Come back to me, Arthur," Merlin told the boy dropping his voice to a soothing level. The eyes were, of course, Arthur's exact eyes and Merlin found the image in front of him very disturbing.
"Come back to me, Arthur. Come back to me. Come back to me," he repeated many times until the dark room faded away and he was back in Arthur's chambers sitting on the floor. He pulled the rag out of Arthur's mouth and held him in his arms for a few seconds.
"Bugger," Arthur gasped, his voice hoarse from screaming. Merlin gave him some space as he watched him take in his surroundings and begin to calm down. "That was a bad one," Arthur declared. He got to his feet and walked over to the bed. "Got to get away from that fire, I'm boiling up." Arthur sat down and swung his legs up underneath him.
Arthur's shirt was soaked with sweat so Merlin got up and grabbed one of Arthur's fresh nightshirts. He helped him out of his shirt, and then used the cloth and water from the wash basin that was next to the bed to wipe the sweat from his chest and back. Arthur let Merlin work, deep in his own thoughts.
As Merlin picked up a small towel and began to dry him off, Arthur started to eye him in a confused manner. "You were there," Arthur voiced.
He knew exactly what Arthur meant but he didn't let on. "I'll always be there for you."
"No, you were there, in my mind, calling me back," Arthur further explained.
He acted confused, but it was a show. "Must be the delirium." He'd never felt worse for lying to him.
Merlin tried to distract Arthur, sitting closely in front of him, and helping him on with the fresh nightshirt.
"It was the roaches," Arthur explained with a grimace, his voice still very scratchy.
"You were thrashing about and screaming, I thought as much."
Arthur looked around the room, baffled. "Where's Gwaine?"
"Went to get Gaius. We were worried."
Merlin offered Arthur a cup of water that had been next to Arthur's bed. Arthur drank greedily and gratefully. Merlin watched Arthur and he literally ached for the young terrified boy and the horrific incident he'd just been a witness to. Fuck, that was too hard to watch!
"My heart has just stopped hammering," Arthur laughed, but his laugh was uneasy.
"Mine is still hammering," Merlin admitted and he took Arthur's left hand and held it to his heart which still drummed heavily in his chest.
Arthur's expression was pensive as his hand moved from Merlin's chest to his face, cupping his cheek. He could feel the metal of Arthur's ring on his face and though it was ill-timed he felt arousal pumping through him. Somehow his eyes had closed. He turned his lips towards Arthur's palm but didn't dare kiss him. Instead he brushed his lips lightly against his skin.
When he moved his lips away from his palm, Arthur's hand moved subtly over Merlin's cheek. He dared to open his eyes and found that Arthur's breathing was more obvious. He looked somewhat dazed, but there was also a passion in his eyes that Merlin knew he couldn't be imagining. The unspoken emotion between them was almost palpable.
Arthur withdrew his hand and Merlin leaned forward touching his forehead to Arthur's ever so briefly before backing away. He wanted more, but he didn't dare push his luck, especially here and now.
Merlin got up and walked over to the curtains, parting them slightly to glance out at the night and to get his breath back. He glanced over once; Arthur was looking at him with curiosity. Merlin felt totally transparent, he turned his attentions outside again and no more was said until Gaius and Gwaine entered the room.
xxx
Arthur was thunderstruck! When Merlin had brushed his lips against his hand he'd thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest. Then he'd leaned forward and touched his forehead against Arthur's and for a second he'd thought Merlin was going to kiss him. He wondered what his response would have been if that had happened.
Arthur knew he could no longer deny that there was an unspoken intimacy between himself and Merlin that went beyond friendship and beyond the mild flirtation that they shared. Was Merlin as surprised as him? He studied his closest friend as he stood over by the window. Merlin glanced briefly in his direction and from that one discernible look he decided that Merlin was aware of his feelings towards Arthur. Interesting, he thought.
This curse was one of the most harrowing things Arthur had ever experienced. He needed Merlin and he hoped he wouldn't close off because of this. Just then Gaius and Gwaine entered his chambers.
xxx
"Arthur, you're alright," Gwaine said, breathing a sigh of relief.
Arthur rolled his eyes, "For now."
Gwaine looked over to Merlin standing with his back to the window and eyeing the room. "You ok?"
"That was a long one and a bad one," Merlin responded. "Gaius have you found anything?"
"I can confirm what I told you all before," Gaius explained. "The intention of the curse is to send a person crazy within twenty four hours. This is done by making one relive his worst experiences over and over. It will progressively get worse as the sorcery used flows deeper through Arthur's body. As the twenty four hour mark approaches it will be all Arthur can think about. The curse cannot be reversed and there is no sorcery strong enough to completely combat it."
"What's the good news?" Gwaine asked.
Gaius looked bleak.
"Can we give him something so that he'll sleep through it?" Merlin suggested as he walked closer to the other three men.
"Absolutely not. Arthur must have a way to keep his grip on reality."
"What happens after twenty four hours?" Arthur questioned.
"You will either go mad, or if you are able to hold on tight enough to your sanity, you may escape the curse."
"Has anyone ever escaped the curse?" Arthur asked.
"I think I read about one or two cases where this happened."
"One or two, huh?" Gwaine laughed humourlessly. He knew Gaius well enough to know he was lying.
"I wish I had better news, Sire. I will keep searching with the hope of finding something that can help you."
"Gaius, the rest of the castle is climbing into their beds right about now. You should do the same," Arthur advised.
"I have no intention of giving up," Gaius declared.
"Gaius," Merlin mumbled and motioned with his head to talk to him privately out in the hallway. Gaius wished Arthur goodnight and good luck and followed Merlin out the door.
"You look like hell," Gwaine said, taking a seat at the foot of Arthur's bed.
"Thanks a lot," Arthur laughed.
Gwaine wasn't lying. Arthur had black circles under his eyes. The whites of his eyes were also starting to look red and bloodshot. Arthur's voice was rough too, most probably from the screaming as well as the exhaustion. His expression revealed that he was feeling defeated. Gwaine wasn't surprised after hearing Gaius' news.
"So, no one's ever escaped the curse," Arthur said, reality sinking in.
"Perhaps one or two."
"We both know that was Gaius' way of avoiding despair," Arthur acknowledged. "No, I figure I'm pretty much doomed."
Gwaine didn't want to agree but at the moment he couldn't see a way out. "This is un-fucking-believable!" was all he could offer.
"Language," Arthur warned playfully. Gwaine just laughed and flicked his hair from his face. "You have a filthy mouth, Sir Gwaine."
"And a filthy mind to go with it," he hurled back. His tone was suggestive and he allowed his eyes to sweep over Arthur's body appreciatively.
For a moment Arthur seemed to freeze. Gwaine held his stare. Now was not the time to hold back for so many reasons.
Arthur let out a small laugh which had only the slightest trace of nervousness in it. "You're an incorrigible flirt, you know that?" If Gwaine wasn't mistaken Arthur's eyes were flirting back.
Gwaine grinned but kept his filthy mouth shut.
xxx
Merlin bent his head down close to Gaius as the two men spoke in hushed whispers, mindful of the guards just down the hallway. He told Gaius that Arthur had revealed his experiences and Gaius told him he thought that would be the case. He also explained how he had been able to use his magic to bring Arthur back to the present. Gaius was very pleased with this.
"You must do whatever you can, Merlin. Arthur still looks quite good at the moment but the curse is taking its toll. I cannot emphasise enough that this curse will send him mad. If you can ease the experiences he is reliving, bring him out of the fugue quicker, then he may stand a chance."
"Gaius, it was so awful," Merlin told the Physician as tears welled up in his eyes, remembering the roaches all over Arthur.
"I know," Gaius sympathised and pulled him into a comforting embrace.
Gaius and Merlin said their goodnights and he went back into Arthur's chambers, ready to do anything he had to, sacrifice anything, to save Arthur's mind and his life.
It wasn't long before Arthur fell into another echo of the past, screaming as if in pain as he lay on his bed. Gwaine put the rag in his mouth, stifling the noise to a degree and looked helplessly down at Arthur. Merlin couldn't let Arthur suffer just to protect his own secret. He stepped forward, grabbed Arthur's hand and harnessed his powers as words spurted from his mouth.
Merlin was once again in Arthur's mind, watching the boy scream in agony as hot coals were being applied to his feet. Arthur's feet were in stocks and therefore he could not pull them away. The cruel and pitiless torturers laughed together as they inflicted the excruciating pain. Merlin, instinctively, used his magic to throw all three men at once against the wall. Young Arthur looked at Merlin with alarm and confusion. Merlin told him to "come back to me," once again, over and over until they were back in Arthur's chambers.
As Arthur blinked his way back into reality, Merlin glanced at Gwaine. He was staring at Merlin, his expression a mix of disbelief, awe and fear. Merlin felt pained to see fear in his friend's face. He looked down at Arthur who at first looked only confused. He watched as Arthur looked between Gwaine and himself and realisation dawned over his features. Merlin let go of Arthur's hand and readied himself for whatever he wanted to throw at him.
"What was that?" Arthur asked.
"Magic," Merlin simply said.
"Magic? Merlin, you just used magic," Arthur rasped, pushing the words out of his obviously painful throat.
"I'm sorry, I had no choice. I needed to help you. I'm sorry I've lied to you. To both of you," he added looking at Gwaine.
The fear seemed to have disappeared from Gwaine's face. At least that was something.
"What are you saying, Merlin?" Arthur questioned sceptically as he pushed himself up onto his elbows.
Tears began to fill Merlin's eyes and cloud his vision. "I'm sorry. I'm a sorcerer. I was born with magic. I've-"
"Wait," Arthur said rubbing his hand over his face, irritated and angry. "A sorcerer. And you've kept this from me, all the years we've known each other? Even once my father died?"
Merlin's tears were falling now. "I'm sorry-"
"Stop saying sorry!" Arthur tried to shout, though with his sore throat, it didn't come out very loud. "You have lied to me, and I trusted you more than anybody else." Arthur's voice was filled with anguish.
Merlin watched Arthur's eyes well with tears and ached at the betrayed look in his eyes. He didn't dare apologise again, in fact, there were no words sufficient.
Arthur lowered his voice and spoke slowly and deliberately, "Get. Out. Of. My. Sight."
Merlin nodded and wondered over to the window. He felt crushed but he breathed in and out and got control of his emotions. He was not going to leave Arthur now; no matter how upset he was at Merlin. His powers were needed to bring Arthur through this and that's what he intended to do.
xxx
To say he felt devastated would be an understatement. Arthur felt so hurt, so betrayed, so angry. He felt confused, uncomfortable and disturbed. Maybe this information would be the thing to tip him over the edge, not the curse. He was so damn exhausted he couldn't even make sense of anything.
Merlin, a sorcerer! How could it be? That fantastic mystery of Merlin's personality came down to this? Why hadn't he told him? He thought he had trusted him. Arthur was just too worn out for this right now.
Arthur wished Merlin would leave the room but instead the young sorcerer (Oh my God, he's a sorcerer!) stood by the window, his back to the room.
"Are you ok?" Gwaine asked Arthur quietly.
Arthur shook his head. "I'm spent. Just leave me to sleep a bit until the next bloody attack hits. I think I might already be insane because I couldn't possibly have just found out that Merlin is a sorcerer."
"Well, I must have gone insane too then." Gwaine patted his shoulder and left him alone.
As Arthur lay there alone, his last thought before drifting into the briefest of sleeps, was that maybe Merlin would be able to save him from the curse. He was sure it wouldn't be the first time Merlin would have saved him using his magic.
xxx
Arthur was asleep and Merlin was still stood by the window, staring outside. Gwaine looked between them; he felt the pain of both men, understood them both. He walked over to the wall next to the window and leaned against it. He folded his arms and stared at Merlin, waiting for him to acknowledge him.
When Merlin refused to look at him, Gwaine decided to speak. "I knew there was something special about you." Granted he didn't think it would be this special. "That blanket you threw over Arthur's shoulders, you heated it with your magic, did you not?"
Merlin finally looked at Gwaine. "Yes."
"You could have told me about your magic, you know? I would have kept your secret," he offered with a smile.
Merlin smiled back gratefully but his smile was sad. "I didn't want to put you in that position. I didn't want to put Arthur in that position either." Gwaine supposed he could understand that. In fact, it was rather thoughtful and considerate of him not to unburden himself.
"Are you angry with me?" Merlin asked and Gwaine knew he had never seen his friend so serious and sombre.
"No," Gwaine responded sincerely.
"Thanks," Merlin said smiling sadly again. "He's so furious at me." He looked toward where Arthur slept, his back to the window.
"Give him some time, Merlin. This is fucking huge. Arthur was brought up to distrust magic, then he finds out the one he trusts most has magic. He feels betrayed. You remember how you felt when you found out he had a secret from the past that he'd rather you not know. Not only that, he's dealing with the stresses of this curse, he's exhausted, he's vulnerable, having to relive the worst fucking experience of his entire life. His whole life has been turned ups-"
"I get it, Gwaine," Merlin cut him off. "I'm just upset to lose his friendship."
"Merlin," Gwaine said, smiling. "Blind men could see how much Arthur cares for you. You aren't going to lose his friendship."
Merlin looked hopeful, his defences beginning to fall. Gwaine took a couple of steps so that he could place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Merlin stared at him with those big, beautiful eyes.
"The two of you have an unbreakable bond," Gwaine explained. "All day he's been making sure you're alright, has he not? And your devotion is obvious, look at what you've just sacrificed for him."
"He's not just my King," Merlin clarified. "He's my closest friend. I love him dearly and I would gladly die in order for him to live on." Merlin became emotional after that, tears forming in his eyes. Gwaine gripped him tighter on his shoulder and watched him fighting not to lose control. Merlin's fragility had never been so apparent and Gwaine cursed himself for feeling attraction for his friend at this unfortunate moment, as Merlin struggled with his composure and lost.
"I hate this," Merlin sobbed.
"Oh hon', come here, it's alright," Gwaine said consolingly as he pulled him into his arms and held him close.
xxx
Arthur awoke to Merlin and Gwaine's voices. He had his back to them but it was late at night and the castle was dead silent, he could make out every word they were saying. Gwaine was telling Merlin that he could have told him about his magic and he would have kept it a secret. Merlin responded that he didn't want to put Gwaine or Arthur in that position.
He heard Merlin worrying about Arthur's fury and Gwaine defending him. Then Merlin said he was scared of losing Arthur's friendship. He felt such hurt for Merlin. It must have been hard for him not being able to tell anybody about his magic. Gwaine spoke about Arthur and Merlin's friendship, their bond, and assured Merlin that he wouldn't lose Arthur. And then he heard Merlin's voice, so vulnerable and so full of emotion:
"He's not just my King. He's my closest friend. I love him dearly and I would gladly die in order for him to live on."
Merlin, then, began to cry. Arthur ached inside for him as he heard him weeping, most probably into Gwaine judging from the muffled sobs. Arthur wasn't ready to face him yet, but he felt the anger draining out of him.
That's why Merlin had taken this curse onboard; he thought he should be able to fix it. Arthur had sudden flashbacks of Merlin overly concerned or emotional throughout the years and now he knew why. Merlin was always finding ways to save Arthur, to save Camelot. Gaius almost definitely would know, so at least he'd had someone to confide in. Arthur just wished it had of been him. Still so many questions...
When Merlin's tears had died down and silence had settled over the room Arthur was at the mercy of his memories once more.
The kidnappers told him that Uther wasn't going to pay the ransom and therefore they had no further use for him. A coffin was brought in and he was told he would be buried alive. Arthur struggled with what little remaining energy he had left as four burly men grabbed him and stuffed him into the coffin. The lid came down and Arthur was in darkness.
Panic started to rise, Arthur's throat tightened, his heart thumped in his chest and he began to pound against the coffin lid. He didn't really care if he died. His heart had died anyway, when he'd learned that his father wouldn't pay to get him back. It was dying slowly of starvation, or suffocation, or whatever happened when you were buried alive that terrified Arthur.
And now he was having trouble breathing through the panic as he felt the coffin being carried. He was wheezing, panting, hyperventilating when all of a sudden the coffin was dropped and the lid flew off as if by a magical force. Arthur sat up in the coffin and saw a young man standing nearby. Something didn't fit. Something felt odd. Arthur had a good feeling about the man who now began to ask him to "come back to him" repetitively. And he wanted to be anywhere but here, so he followed him...
Arthur found himself back in his chambers. A rush of cognizance hit him and he looked at the sorcerer standing over him. Merlin had called him back once more. Arthur was aware of Merlin's hand gripping his tightly. When he felt his hand loosen, Arthur gripped tighter and wouldn't let go. He stared into his friend's eyes with desperation. This was all he had to give for now, and it seemed enough for Merlin who just stared back and gave a gentle nod. At one point of the night Merlin whispered those unavoidable words once again, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Arthur merely whispered in return. And thank God, it was still his Merlin looking back at him.
The night ahead was intensely agonising, but every time Arthur came to, Merlin was standing over him protectively. His two friends soothed him, washed the sweat from him and continually changed his clothes. They gave him water to drink, they touched his face comfortingly and assured him he'd make it through. By first light he felt more hopeful, although the exhaustion and torment had taken its toll. Even in his waking and more alert moments Arthur couldn't shake the memories of his kidnapping. He knew with certainty that if it hadn't been for Merlin's sorcery he'd be insane by now.
xxx
Gaius arrived at sun-up and Merlin was grateful he was there with them, though he could offer no further information regarding the curse. Watching Arthur suffer throughout the night was absolutely heartbreaking. Merlin's use of magic and lack of sleep had left him feeling exhausted but he was determined to do all that he could for Arthur.
By now, Arthur had run out of nightshirts whilst sweating repeatedly throughout the night. To Merlin, his bare chest only made him appear more defenceless, even though his body was clearly muscular and strong.
Around midday, Arthur barely had a sane moment and Merlin was constantly inside Arthur's mind, defending him from his torturers and guiding him back to reality. However, he knew that it had been almost twenty four hours since the farmer had shook Arthur's hand, bringing forth the curse, so he took a deep breath and pressed on.
Gwaine was unwavering and Merlin was filled with gratitude toward his friend. And though Merlin dreaded the conversation that he'd have to have with Arthur, he also felt secure that Arthur would not turn away from him. He felt confident in his enduring relationship with the remarkable King of Camelot.
Finally, at long last, Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine and Gaius watched the mark disappear from Arthur's hand and all were aware that he had made it through. Arthur slumped backwards on his bed with a sound that was a combination of exhaustion, relief and triumph. Gwaine, Gaius and Merlin threw their arms around each other, tears mingling as their faces unabashedly rubbed against each other.
Arthur sat up in his bed, disbelief on his face. "Un-fucking-believable," he said smiling at Gwaine who grinned back. Arthur's gaze turned to Merlin and the intensity in his eyes left him weak in the knees. "Merlin, I don't know what to say."
Merlin just shook his head in response, trying to convey that no words were necessary.
"Arthur, it's a miracle," Gaius told him, affectionately stroking the back of Arthur's neck as he sat down before him.
"Gaius," Arthur murmured leaning into the crevice between Gaius' neck and shoulder. "It's no miracle. It was Merlin."
Merlin welled with pride at Arthur's words. Gaius looked between Arthur, Merlin and Gwaine. "I believe it was a joint effort," he declared and added, "I'll tell the court that the fever has passed and the King just needs some time to recover."
Merlin could tell that Gaius was emotional and that he was leaving the room to deal with his emotions in private. He hugged him close and heard Gaius' whisper of "well done" in his ear.
As Gaius left the room Gwaine slung his arm around Merlin's shoulder. "Merlin, you dark horse, come here." He pulled him into a hug. Merlin chuckled lightly as he embraced the Knight. The two of them then turned to Arthur who looked totally and utterly worn out.
"Rest, Arthur," Merlin told him. Arthur lay back on his pillow, obviously not needing to be convinced. Within seconds Merlin could tell that he was asleep. He breathed a sigh of relief. Arthur was going to be alright.
xxx
Gwaine sat on the left side of Arthur's bed watching him sleep. His gaze then turned to Merlin sitting next to him, and he contemplated this manservant of King Arthur's, the powerful sorcerer who'd gotten Arthur through the madness curse. Merlin looked almost as buggered as Arthur did.
"You should get some sleep too," he told him.
"I'm not leaving him," Merlin said as he stared down at Arthur.
"I'm not leaving him either." The two of them gave each other a knowing smile. "I think the two of you are going to be fine," he assured Merlin.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, more than fine. In fact, I'm a little jealous of what the two of you have going on," Gwaine admitted, deciding that a bit of honesty couldn't hurt right now.
"We..." Merlin began but never finished his thought. Instead he looked into Gwaine's eyes earnestly and asked, "You know how much you mean to me, don't you?"
Gwaine's heart was beating too fast and he felt the need to make light of the moment. "How much?" he asked waggling his eyebrows flirtatiously.
Merlin chuckled and hit him on the chest with the back of his hand. His expression grew serious as he muttered the words, "A lot."
Gwaine looked back at Merlin. "A lot sounds good to me," he responded wholeheartedly and the feeling of belonging he had was unsurpassed to anything he'd ever felt before.
xxx
Morgana felt anxious. Arthur should be insane by now, however, something felt wrong. Just then, Agravaine walked through the door and by the expression on his face Morgana could tell it wasn't good news.
"Gaius has announced that the King's fever has passed. He'll be fit to resume duties in a couple of days."
There was a moment of silence as Morgana took in what Agravaine was telling her and then a harsh, piercing shriek, that shattered one of the windows in Morgana's shack, shook the room. Agravaine looked around uncomfortably.
"How?" Morgana howled.
"I'm not sure, maybe Gaius had a remedy," Agravaine offered.
"No!" Morgana shouted. "This curse couldn't be reversed." Morgana gripped her temples, absolutely enraged. A deranged cry escaped her mouth; she closed her eyes and momentarily lost her grip on reality. When she came to she was breathing heavily, her chest heaving. As Agravaine disappeared back out the door, Morgana's eyes glowed with rage as she realised her plan had failed.
xxx
Arthur awoke feeling reasonably rested but still so tired. It was dark in his chambers and the events of the last day flooded through his mind. He sat up in his bed and it was then that he noticed the two men lying asleep, either side of him. Arthur was beneath his covers, however, Merlin and Gwaine lay atop, barefoot but fully clothed.
Arthur's soft laugh awoke both men from their dreamland. They sat up and looked at Arthur delightedly.
"You two look as tired as I feel," he told them. They responded with sleepy smiles. "Come on, get under," he smiled, pulling the covers down so the two of them could hop underneath the bedding. Whoever said 'three's a crowd' didn't know what they were talking about.
Arthur was facing Gwaine as the three of them lay back down and he noticed Gwaine, improperly checking out his naked chest. The two men looked at each other and he could see the flirty glint in Gwaine's eye. Arthur gave him a wink and a casual smile before he murmured, "Go to sleep." Gwaine smiled as his eyes closed and within seconds Arthur could tell that he'd fallen asleep.
Arthur rolled over onto his other side, now facing Merlin. The two men held each other's eye for about half a minute before Arthur finally spoke.
"We have a lot to talk about," he told him and Merlin nodded. He could see the worry in Merlin's eyes and felt it was important to continue. "I'm not angry with you, Merlin. I have many questions... for later."
"Arthur-" Merlin began but Arthur stopped him.
"Shhhhh," he told him as he reached out under the covers and grabbed Merlin's hand. The words he'd heard Merlin telling Gwaine, about Arthur being Merlin's closest friend and loving him dearly came to him in that moment. He wanted to tell Merlin that he loved him too. Arthur hesitated, and never let the words escape his lips. Merlin smiled at him warmly, anyway. Merlin's smile made him feel so safe and secure and his eyes fluttered closed as he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
xxx
Merlin lay in Arthur's bed gazing into those indescribable, big, blue eyes. He'd entered Arthur's mind so many times in the last day that he found it had a lingering effect. Residually, he could still be in Arthur's mind, for now.
Merlin could feel that he harboured no anger toward him regarding his magic, just curiosity, and then Arthur's thinking turned to friendship.
"I love you too," Arthur's thoughts told him. Merlin knew in that moment that Arthur had been awake and listening as Merlin had spoken to Gwaine by the window. He'd overheard Merlin's declaration of friendship and love.
Merlin smiled at him contentedly and watched his eyes flutter shut as he drifted into sleep, their hands remaining clasped together. Merlin savoured the moment and held onto the bond between them as his own eyes closed and he floated into peaceful slumber.
xxx
The End
A/N: I have now posted an M-rated sequel to this story called The Best Things in Life Are Three. So if you want to see the boys get it on, please check it out.
