Author's Note: Well this is just some crackyness that struck me at the stroke of midnight. Enjoy!
"Yo Jack!" Miko shouted from across the base. "Can ya throw me my math book? I need it." Raf and Jack exchanged odd looks.
"Why in the world would you need it?" asked Jack from the place he was doing his homework. "It's not like you're actually gonna do your homework." Miko let out a loud, annoyed sigh.
"Dude, I wasn't gonna read it, I'm gonna use it to get down that six-pack of pop I brought last week."
"You mean the stuff Mrs. Darby took from you?" Raf asked without looking up from his English assignment.
"Yeah. I need it for my science experiment," replied Miko.
"Whoa, how is pop part of your project?" questioned Jack now looking over at the girl with pink highlights in her hair.
"Easy," began Miko. "I'm gonna heat up the pop to see what it does. Then I'm gonna add eggs to it to see if I can make them blow-up." Raf looked up at the words 'blow-up'.
"Miko, you'll tick off Ratchet again," Raf deadpanned. "We don't need to do another full-base scrub." Jack shuttered at the thought.
"Fine," snapped Miko. "If you won't help I'll use…this!" Miko picked up a large silver object from underneath the GroundBridge monitor. She plopped it on top of eight other books she'd found lying around the base. She jumped up and quickly balanced herself before she could tumble.
"Miko," groaned Jack as he watched her struggle to reach the case.
Then she managed to grab hold of the red case just as the silver thing slipped out from under her.
"Frag!" Miko yelped as she tumbled to the ground. She got right back up, stuffed the books underneath a nearby, human-sized table, and chunked the silver thing back where she found it. Miko picked up the slightly dented six pack and stalked off to a "safe room" as Ratchet had put it.
"What are we going to do with her?" Raf asked Jack.
"I don't know. eBay?" Jack suggested.
"What is this eBay you are talking about?" Both Jack and Rafael jumped as the deep voice of Optimus Prime filled their ears. They noticed he wasn't alone. The other four plus weren't far behind him.
"Oh it's just a website," Jack explained (though you couldn't really call it explaining).
"What website?" Arcee asked instantly.
"Well," began Raf, "it's this website people can buy and sell stuff on, ya know, over the internet. You place a bid on an item and if you win then the seller sends it to you via mail."
"And you were suggesting we put Miko on eBay?" asked Ratchet. Jack snickered at the thought of stuffing Miko into a box with an address sending her right back to Tokyo.
"No," said Jack. "We already have." Raf laughed lightly.
"Wait a minute," Bulkhead started up in horror. "You're tellin' us you sold Miko on eBay?" Jack and Raf grinned to the other.
"Yep," said Raf, still grinning. "And bought the newest set of My Little Ponies with the money we made." Bumblebee beeped and whirled loudly, his limbs flailing madly. Raf cracked up and fell out of his chair.
"Bumblebee is right," Optimus continued. "According to the law, you are not permitted to sell human beings over the internet. Well it says you are not allowed at all." It was Jack's turn to fall over. Not caring that his head got bashed up in the progress, he started laughing just as much as Raf (if not more).
Jack and Raf were laughing so hard they missed Optimus's next words.
"Ratchet, contact Agent Fowler, we must find Miko before the Decepticons do." Ratchet did as he was told and dialed up the man in question. After several moments Fowler picked up.
"This is special agent William Fowler. How may I be of service?"
"Agent Fowler, this is Optimus Prime."
"Prime!" came the man's startled voice through the link. "What are ya callin' for?"
"We need you to help us track down Miko."
"What happened? Did the 'Cons take her?" Fowler asked quickly.
"Jack and Raf thought it would be funny to sell Miko on eBay, whatever that is," droned Arcee.
"They did what?" shouted Fowler. The boys stopped laughing.
"Wait. Agent Fowler?" Jack asked the screen.
"Yes. Now what is this talk about you selling Miko on eBay?" The pair froze. Raf spoke up first.
"Agent Fowler it was a joke. We didn't really sell Miko, we were just saying what we should do with her and Jack thought we could sell her on eBay. Honestly we were just messing around and then the 'Bots came in and freaked out at the thought of Miko being sold on eBay. After we explained it to them of course."
"Oh," stated Fowler. "I see where this is going. Alright then, I'll leave you on your one." Fowler then terminated the link.
"Okay let me get this straight," snapped Ratchet. "Did you or did you not sell Miko on the internet?"
"We didn't," the boys said in unison.
"See? Look," Jack said as he pointed to the Japanese girl storming into the room. She looked like someone had dunked her in a swimming pool full of liquid chocolate.
"Don't," growled Miko. Jack and Raf beamed. Bulkhead swooped down to pick up his charge.
"Miko!" he yelled. "You weren't sold on eBay!"
"What?" questioned Miko as she gazed slipped over to the boys.
"Hey Miko," called Jack. "You wanna sing the eBay song?" Miko perked up at once.
"Why do you even ask?" And the three humans started singing.
"'Yeah
A used ... pink bathrobe
A rare ... mint snow globe
A Smurf ... TV tray
I bought on eBay
'My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay
'Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay
'I'll buy ... your knick-knack
Just check ... my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay
'Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay'"
At this point Bulkhead set Miko down.
"'I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got or Visa, what ever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough
'I'll buy ... your tchotchkes
Sell me ... your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...)
I'm highest bidder now
'(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
(Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)
'Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)
'Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)
'What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y'"
The trio ended their session with a deep five Autobots stared down at the small cluster of humans, who were all beaming.
"Well that was…" began Arcee not knowing what to say. 'Bee beeped faintly but stopped quickly.
"Well I think that was the most annoying thing you've ever done," grouched Ratchet as he turned to glare at the monitor.
"That's good to know," said Miko, an evil grin lighting her features. "Who's up for round two?"
Arcee and Bumblebee ran for it.
Author's Note: Wonder if they learned that in music class. It would help explain why it's probably the only class Miko ever does anything it =D
If you were there for round two, would you run for it? Reveiw! I get some of my ideas from you guys!
-Blueberry