Guilt swarmed through his head. Pain welled up inside his chest as he heaved the contents of his three previous meals, out onto the dark and wet sidewalk. He couldn't feel his limbs anymore. He couldn't feel anything. All that he had known was gone now and there was no way to get it back. The space that was left could not be filled and would remain empty until his lonely body gave in and died.

At this moment he wish he could do just that. He wanted to fall to the ground and stop breathing. He wanted all the pain to go away. He wanted the voices in his mind to shut up and leave him alone. Everything hurt. His body felt as though it was on fire and turning slowly to ash. There was nothing he could do about it.

He stumbled back into his one room flat and fell loudly to the floor. He hadn't cleaned, clothing was piled everywhere around him. There was reeking food in the fridge that he refused to throw out. The sheets were thrown off the bed, crumpled and dirty on the floor. The heavy, black curtains had been drawn over the windows, so that he could have an artificial night. He didn't want to go outside but he didn't want to stay in this room. Instead his mind wanders to the most difficult place for him to go. Home.

He can't think about that place without dragging himself farther into the black hole he has created with his life. Everything in that place reminds him. Everything had been touched and affected someway by the one person he cant think about. His house, the beach, the cliffs, his family, the trees, the roads, the garage, the bikes, his car, the pack, everything. She had been a part of all of it. They had been a part of all of it, but never again.

This is when the tears started. His eyes were red and swollen from the constant flowing watercourse that emerged from his eyes. Looking beaten and bruised, the circles under his lids grow darker everyday. His hair fell in his face now. He hadn't cut it in god knows when. His appearance falters. He imagines how scary he must look to the people around him. The ones he sees when he finally immerges from his room look at him with suspicion and horror. Is he a murder? A criminal? Does he ever bathe? How can he continue living like this?

He doesn't know.

He doesn't pay for his room. The landlord is too scared to ask for rent. His size is scary but his unmanageable facial features are enough to frighten the toughest of people.

He doesn't have money and he doesn't work.

His life has turned into a meaningless set of days. Time passes with no effect on him. He does not count the days. He doesn't know the current day, nor does he wish to know. He will sit in this room until his hunger becomes unbearable and then he will leave for food.

When he phases, there is no one to mumble thoughts into his head. They are too far away to speak to him, but they must know that he is there. They have chosen to leave him alone and he is grateful. His mind stays silent although he is swimming with emotion as he runs. He finds prey weak enough to take down and feasts. There is no need to put up a fight. His body was built for strength, but he has no will to use that power. He has no will to continue living with his gift, but at the moment, it is the only thing keeping him alive.

When he returns back to his fortress of a residence, he lets his mind wander. It is late in the evening and he is all alone. Once again he lets his thoughts drift to happier places he can no longer imagine achieving. He sees himself as a lost cause. No happiness can come to him as long as he has chosen this path. He chose not to sit and wait. He chose to run.

A year ago, he would have been hopeful and eager to continue his life, but not now. He used to have goals and dreams and wishes. He used to think about the future and smile at what it would bring. He would think about all the things he could have and he was hopeful. He used to be a naïve teenage boy, who thought that if you fought hard enough, that you would get what you want. He was wrong.

He had fought. He had used every last trick he had in the book to advance his chances at a happily ever after. He had spent every waking second vying for his chance, which sadly he never got. He would never be able to beat his opponent; someone who did not deserve to get his wishes and most certainly did not deserve to get a second change, when he himself had received none. His life that once revolved around winning the game, had turned against him. He was never going to get what he wanted and he accepted that.

He accepted long ago, that this life he imagined, was not in the cards for him. Fate would not play out the way he wanted it to. He would not get the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world. Even more than he wanted his own life. Her.

She was the reason that he had kept living all this time. He wanted to end his life, to no longer live without her, but he couldn't do it. As many times as he had given up, the same force always took him out of it. Her angelic face would wake him from the deepest trance he was in. She could pull him out of the hole he was in and bring him to his senses. But this feeling did not last for long, because he would falter soon after her image had left him. He would remember that she had not chosen him, and that he was alone.

She would be sitting in a large house on the edge of the forest, in the arms of another man, clutching a diamond engagement ring. He knew that this ring had been the final straw for him. He knew that as soon as that unholy ring was placed on the fourth finger of her left hand, that nothing would be that same again. Every chance that he thought he still had, had vanished. There was no hope for him after that. She had made her choice. There was no going back.

She had tried to tell him calmly that she had made her decision. He hadn't wanted to listen. She explained how important he was to her and he told her that he was giving her up. He couldn't wait in the wings anymore, like he had promised. He couldn't stand by and watch her slowly disappear. Her decision had ripped his heart to shreds, leaving no room left for apologies. Everything she had said that day was a repeat for him. She had said those words before. Her goodbyes meant nothing to him. Her 'I love you' was empty.

He was empty.

That is why he left.

That is why he is gone.