A/N: Michiru's dream is loosely based on what happens in the manga. The rest is pretty much based on anime canon.
In the Shadow of the Apocalypse
She watched the last battle from afar. One by one in her Mirror she saw her distant sisters die; Mars and Mercury and Jupiter and Venus, saw them fallen and bloodied and still, just four corpses amongst many so more. The people of the Moon fled and died in terror before an army of Earthlings gone mad with hate, and a red haired queen laughed at their pain while she stalked through the carnage to find the true objects of her desire.
The forbidden lovers whose fate Neptune feared would be her own. Prince Endymion was cut down defending his beloved Princess, and soon after the gentle light of the Princess went out as she died alone, in tears, screaming for her fallen love with no one to protect her.
And across billions of miles of empty space Neptune heard Serenity's grief and felt it within her; the endless gut-wrenching cries that went on and on as the Silver Millennium fell into darkness.
She was a warrior and everything in Neptune was seething with the need to fight, but as soon as the invasion had begun she'd received the Queen's last order to stay at her post in the Outer Solar System and do nothing as the Moon Kingdom crumbled. Even now, as the world fell, they were not permitted to be a part of it.
"Neptune," came the urgent whisper of Uranus's voice in her mind. They'd long since stopped needing any other way to communicate across the vast distances that too often separated them, and Neptune didn't need Uranus to say more to know what she was proposing.
"We can't, Uranus. We've been ordered not to leave our posts."
"I don't care. I can't stay here and do nothing." Neptune's heart contracted in both sympathy and fear at the anguish in Uranus's voice. Uranus knew the Moon Kingdom was lost and that entering the battle was a suicide mission. She was asking Neptune to go with her and if Neptune didn't Uranus would still go anyway and either way they were probably both going to die.
Not her, Neptune pleaded silently, in the depths of her mind where she sometimes dreamed of a life she knew she was never going to have. I can lose the world but I can't lose her.
"No, Uranus," said the stern voice of Pluto, sounding in both their minds. "The Queen's final order was that we were to remain at our stations."
"What possible purpose can that have?" Uranus's despairing voice demanded. "We're soldiers. Why can we not fight for our world? Do we not deserve even that?"
Neptune felt it an instant before it happened. Something dark and terrible stirring, calling to the talisman that was a part of her. Triton Castle vanished and she was hovering in the darkness of space with the Silent Planet below her, and she watched in growing horror as some form struggled to break free from within the planet's dark molten heart.
"Saturn," she whispered.
Uranus and Pluto were beside her, drawn here just as she was, and their three talismans began to resonate in a way they never had before, speaking to each other and the ominous planet below in a vicious new language of destruction, suddenly deaf to the desperate pleas of their owners.
The legends then were true. This was where the last solider slept, the warrior of ruin whose awakening would cause the destruction of the world. This was why Serenity had ordered them to wait. This was why she had forbidden them from joining the final battle. They had been chosen to bring about the end of the world they had fought so long to protect.
All along they had only been tools to be used. Weapons of mass destruction. The last resort to confound the enemy's plans.
"Pluto – Neptune – We can't let this happen," Uranus yelled, defying destiny even as they teetered on the brink of the apocalypse.
"We're too late," Pluto said, her garnet eyes dark with unshed tears. "We've failed. We've failed in our duty to save the world."
"Pluto! Pluto!" Pluto was oblivious and unresponsive to their cries, lost in some darkness of her own as the last soldier was born from her planet and her Glaive of Silence began to descend in a slow eternity to sheer what was left of the world in two.
Everything was lost. Their Queen and their Princess and their comrades and their Kingdoms and Neptune's heart was bleeding as surely as if an enemy had dealt her a mortal blow, but in these last few precious moments she still had her. She was the only thing left Neptune believed in; her warmth the last flickering light of hope in the freezing reaches of outer space.
"Uranus."
"Neptune."
Their gloved hands reached out and joined. Neptune saw the end of the world in the rare shimmer of tears staining Uranus's cheeks, but it only made the love burn brighter in her windswept eyes as she chose to look at Neptune and not the falling Glaive.
"Don't let go," Neptune begged, her voice choked with so many things there wasn't time to say. "No matter what happens, don't let go."
Uranus's husky whisper seared into her soul. "We'll find each other again, Neptune. In the next world. Promise that you'll find me."
Even now, with the Glaive half-fallen, she didn't believe in death. She didn't believe it could tear them apart.
Neptune let out a sob and kissed her as they hovered on the sharp edge of destruction; her final act of defiance against her fate. She tasted the bitterness of goodbye in the mingled salt on their lips and was still clinging tightly to Uranus's hand as she watched the Glaive come down.
"Uranus, I lo—"
And then Neptune lost her. Uranus was cut from her and Neptune was cut from herself and her soul was rent in two with an agonising pain worse than any she had ever known. The Glaive fell and fell and fell and the world exploded in blood-red crimson and the cold desolation of silence was all that was left.
Michiru started awake in the darkness, smelling the stench of her own sour sweat, her limbs trembling in time to the frantic pounding of her heart. With her senses still confused and reeling she groped towards the other side of the bed, almost breaking into tears when she encountered cold sheets instead of the warm body she was almost sure should have been there.
"H-Haruka," she whispered brokenly.
She pushed herself upright in the empty bed, trying to shake off the dream, trying to quiet her rough, panicked breaths. There was a low hum coming from somewhere that she couldn't quite place, until she realised that of course it was the TV in the next room. Like a creature drawn by irrepressible instinct she shoved back the coverlet and rose on her unsteady legs, making her weaving way out to the living room like a staggering drunk.
Haruka lay sprawled asleep on the couch in front of the TV, and in the ghostly reflection of Technicolor light Michiru could tell how exhausted she looked. The months of searching and fighting were taking their toll even on Haruka's strength, and last week…Last week they had found out where the talismans really were.
And Michiru knew she'd gotten the lighter end of that particular hellish deal, because she wasn't the one who had to watch Haruka die.
She didn't intend to wake her, but Haruka must have sensed she was there, for her eyes fluttered open and Michiru couldn't decide whether the shadows residing beneath or within were deeper.
Tilting her head towards the enthusiastic young man currently gracing the TV screen who was trying to sell them a legion of cookware, Michiru asked in a hushed voice, "Infomercials, Haruka?"
"There was a movie on before. I guess I fell asleep." She stretched and looked up at Michiru, and even though they were in the midst of desperate struggle, even though any day might be their last, even though Haruka was grey round the edges with stress and worry and battle fatigue, her lips still curled into a lazy, contented smile as she asked huskily, "Did you miss me?"
For a moment there, Michiru had thought she might be all right. She often was after the dreams, if she could only steady herself with Haruka's presence. But this time nothing could stop it crashing through her mind again; she could see the sharp, immortal beauty of her past love superimposed over the youthful face of her tomboyish teenaged beloved in the present, could still taste Uranus on her lips as they shared that last, bitter kiss in the looming shadow of an apocalypse.
"Uranus," she rasped, shakily, pleadingly, not even knowing what she was asking for.
Haruka's eyes widened.
"Mich—"
Whatever Haruka intended to say, Michiru couldn't wait. She bolted to the bathroom, barely reaching the toilet bowl before she was retching, seeing the silent planet turning in its sinister orbit, the dark soldier stirring, Pluto staring and unresponsive with her eyes full of despair.
Seeing the pain of failure on Uranus's face, and the love still blazing in her eyes as they died together.
Within moments Haruka was there with her in the bathroom, murmuring reassurances and holding Michiru's hair back, wiping down her face for her with a damp washcloth as she sat back, gasping.
"Okay?" she asked, eyes grave with concern. Oh the look she'd had in her eyes then; so much sorrow, so much love, so much faith that Neptune would find her.
"Give me…a minute."
When she was sure she wasn't going to either collapse or throw up again, Michiru forced herself up, brushed her teeth, gargled several times and washed her face again, trying to scrub the memories away.
Haruka was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, waiting for her. With her breath minty fresh Michiru slid back down onto the tiles beside her, the thought of moving further much too hard.
"Another nightmare?" said Haruka, her voice gentle as she combed her fingers through Michiru's sweaty, tangled hair.
Michiru just nodded, her forehead pressed to Haruka's thigh, her arms twined around the leg conveniently within reach. She wondered how on Earth she'd ever done any of this without Haruka, without that understanding warmth and patience always at her side. Thinking about it was another nightmare all by itself.
"Why don't you tell me about it?"
The question was met with silence.
"Michiru." Haruka sighed. "Just because you get visions all the time and I rarely do, it doesn't mean you have to endure them all by yourself. You're not alone anymore, remember? Let me help you. Please."
"I can't Haruka. Not here."
Not here in their home where they'd made some semblance of a normal life snatched between one battle and the next. Where they lived together, ate together, slept together and even laughed together in rare moments of relief. Where Haruka's eyes followed her with a wondering reverence Michiru would never grow tired of.
Michiru felt more than saw Haruka's assessing gaze. A hand was placed under her elbow, gently guiding her to her feet. The smile Haruka gave her was unbelievably tender.
"In that case," she said, "We're going to take a shower, and then we're going driving."
"It's two a.m.!"
Haruka quirked her eyebrows at Michiru in subdued amusement. "So? Remember all those times before we started living together when you used to call and ask me to take you driving at all hours of the night? What's different this time?"
In that trembling instant, Michiru might have loved Haruka more than she ever had before. Always, Haruka knew, and would do anything just to make the world weigh a little less. Michiru leaned into her with a sigh, resting and feeling her warmth, so much like her warmth before. The warmth she'd had as she believed with her last breath that they'd find each other again, that their love would be able to cross unimaginable distances of space and time.
Just as she knew so many other things, Haruka knew that her hands and her lips were amongst the few things that could make the nightmares fade, and in the shower she kissed and caressed Michiru gently, whispering comfort into the storms of her tears. And Michiru kissed her back and held Haruka tighter, both because she'd lost Haruka and found her again, and right now needed her more than ever if she was to believe there was something in the world still worth fighting for.
"How do you always know what I need?" she breathed into Haruka's mouth afterwards, slitting her eyes open to find Haruka watching her.
Haruka's low laugh mingled with the drip of the turned-off shower head. "I pay attention." She placed a last, lingering kiss on Michiru's forehead. "Studying you is way more interesting than school."
They went to the ocean, of course, without Michiru needing to ask. Haruka took off Michiru's shoes for her like she was some kind of princess, kneeling on the sand and looking up at her with a soft glimmer in her eyes that was meant for no one else. Far more casually, she kicked off her own shoes, and barefoot they waded ankle-deep into Michiru's element to let the deep blue waves wash over them.
The ocean was vast, so vast it could take even Michiru's grief without choking on it, take the words she had to say and bury them in its depths where they wouldn't return to haunt her. She leaned back into the warmth of Haruka behind her, into the arms cradled about her waist, steady, undemanding, and she traced Haruka's hands with her own, wanting to never forget again what they felt like.
"You dreamed of how we died in the Silver Millennium, didn't you?"
The question slipped out quietly between them, as Haruka drew Michiru further into her embrace.
"W-what?"
"Michiru," Haruka's low whisper chided her. "After last week, it makes sense. I know you've wondered as much as I have what went wrong back then; what mistakes we made that caused the world to fall. We need to know if we're to stop it from happening again. Now that you've seen it, you have to tell me. I can't…I can't lose you again."
Swallowing, Michiru looked out over the ocean, letting it calm her, letting it take her pain as it took ships and lives and cities when it wanted to; letting her wild element comfort her. "I'd always imagined," she began, "that we died during the invasion of the Moon Kingdom. I thought that maybe, if fate was kind, we'd fallen side by side in battle, taking our enemies with us. But that's not how it happened. We weren't even there. You and I and Pluto were ordered not to leave our posts in the Outer Solar System, and we had to…We just had to watch and do nothing while our world was destroyed."
"What?" Haruka hissed in disbelief, her fingers suddenly tense in Michiru's grip.
Michiru's lips twitched in grim humour. "You weren't happy about it back then either. You asked me to go with you and fight anyway. But there wasn't time. We had our talismans in the dream, and before we could decide what to do, you and I and Pluto were all drawn to Saturn, the silent planet. Our talismans began to resonate, just like they did last week. Only that time they didn't bring the grail. They caused the last solider to awaken."
"Saturn," breathed Haruka. "The solider of destruction."
"You remember?"
"No. I just…When you spoke of the last soldier…I got a flash of…something."
"I remembered about her in the dream. She awakens only when the world is close to ending. Her mission is to destroy what's left, and herself along with it, so that the world can be reborn. Queen Serenity must have known our talismans were the key to Saturn's awakening. That must have been why she ordered us not to fight, so that we'd be there…"
Haruka finished for Michiru, voice full of bitterness. "So that we'd be there to clean up the mess. We weren't even given the honour of dying in battle like warriors."
"I saw it all happen, Haruka." The ocean became a blur through Michiru's tears, moaning in sympathy at her grief. "There was nothing we could do. Saturn's Glaive was descending and Pluto was in some kind of despairing trance where we couldn't reach her. You and I…" Her voice roughened like choppy waves in a storm. "We were holding hands and I begged you not to let go. We kissed, knowing everything was ending. You told me to find you in the next world, and then…It was over. I couldn't feel your hand anymore, Haruka. I couldn't feel your hand."
She was almost accusing, unfairly so, breath hitching in misery and anger. "You let me go…"
"I'm right here," Haruka whispered, her lips against Michiru's ear. "You found me again, just like I asked."
"You didn't make it easy!"
Michiru half-turned her head to deliver the rebuke, and felt Haruka's mouth shift to hers in a sincere, stinging kiss.
"I know. Sorry. I was an idiot." Drawing back a little, Haruka propped her chin on Michiru's shoulder. "Do you think Saturn is close to awakening again?" she asked, barely lifting her voice above the sound of the ocean. "Is that why you dreamed about her? Is it possible our talismans caused her to stir somewhere in this world when they were brought together again?"
"I think…" Michiru hesitated. "I've been dreaming of something else as well. A Dark Messiah. The one who will bring about the Silence if the Messiah of Light fails. The Dark Messiah and Saturn…They look alike in my dreams. Maybe this time she's working for the enemy. Or maybe she just lives for nothing but destruction. Either way, I'm certain you're right. She must be somewhere on this Earth, reincarnated like us. Human."
Too close to breaking, Michiru didn't say more.
"Then we'll have to find her and stop her before she awakens." Immediately picking up the thread Michiru had dropped, Haruka stated unflinchingly what they both knew. "We'll have to kill her."
Michiru's heart hurt a little at the coldness of Haruka's tone, at how much of a soldier she'd become; no longer needing it explained to her, no longer not understanding what they were going to have to do. It was the search for the talismans all over again. Of course it had been too much to hope they'd have a mission as easy as finding the Messiah and fighting a few monsters along the way.
Somewhere out there was a girl just like them, maybe scared and alone, probably not even knowing what was happening to her. And they weren't going to show her compassion or mercy or love. They were going to kill her, for the good of the world. Sacrificing her life the way Queen Serenity had scarified theirs.
Michiru looked down at her hands, intertwined with Haruka's, and knew she didn't want Haruka to be the one to do it. She didn't want her with blood on her hands and self-hatred in her eyes. She didn't want what that would do to her.
Please, she prayed, to what god she didn't know, Please let me be the one to do it when the time comes. Please not Haruka. Let her keep what innocence she has left. Let her be spared from murder.
"Don't worry Neptune." Michiru heard Uranus in Haruka's voice; the voice of a warrior, the voice of no regrets edged with love sharp as a sword. "This time, I promise I won't let go of your hand. This time, I'll save the world."