"We've got a special treat for you coming up next. Here's 'No One Will Ever Love You' sung by country music superstar, Rayna Jaymes and guitarist Deacon Claybourne," the radio DJ's voice sounds from across the hall.
Rayna groans. She hasn't talked to Deacon since the incident in the elevator. This song is the last thing that she needs to listen to right now but for some reason she can't seem to avoid it. Hell, she can't seem to avoid him. She can never avoid him. Something reminds her of him around every corner. Spending so much time with someone for over twenty years leaves its mark on your memory. It leaves its mark on your heart too. She hears her own voice resounding through the room. The memories begin to flood her mind. She feels like she is drowning.
I know why you're lonely
It's time you knew it too
No one will ever love you
No one will ever love you
No one will ever love you
Like I do
Her eyes begin to water but she fights back the tears. She won't allow herself to break down. She tells herself that she is stronger than that. She will not cry. She sees Deacon watching her from across the room. She heads to the elevator, attempting to make her escape. She likes the idea of locking herself in her hotel room for the night. It won't be as hard to avoid him in there.
Her phone vibrates. She looks down to read the message.
Are you okay?
She sighs. Apparently, she can't escape from him at all. He insists on chasing her and on finding her. He insists on waiting for her and loving her. She ignores the text message and hurries to her room. As soon as she reaches the quiet penthouse, she falls on the bed. The tears slip out of her eyes. She is unsure of why she is crying. Is she crying for Deacon? Her failed marriage? Her inability to move on?
She hears a knock on the door.
"Go away," she calls.
She already knows who it is on the other side. She doesn't know if she has the strength to face him right now or the strength to resist him.
"I'm worried about you, Ray," Deacon answers.
She doesn't respond.
"Open the door. I just want to talk," he tries.
His voice is gentle and kind. He knows exactly how to convince her. As much as she fears making a mistake, she welcomes the familiarity of his soothing voice. She craves the familiarity. She wants him to be her rock during this time of turmoil. She also dreads letting go. She doesn't want to fall any farther but maybe it is already too late to worry about that.
She reluctantly allows him to enter the room. He is clearly worried about her. He sees that her eyes are red. He pulls her into a hug. He rubs her back softly. She leans into him hesitantly. After a few seconds, she begins to let her guard down. She wraps her arms around him tightly. She is afraid to let go. She is afraid of what might happen if she looks into his eyes and sees his desire for her or his love for her staring her in the face.
"I'm sorry to worry you. I just have a lot going on right now. I'm trying to hold myself together while everything falls apart," she says.
She collects herself. She has always been strong. If she allows even a moment of weakness, she knows what will happen and she is not sure that she will be able to handle the consequences. She has managed to bury her biggest weakness for over 13 years. She has come close to breaking many times, but she has always maintained her strength. She has always hidden her feelings.
"Rayna, I know you. Hell, I've known you for more than twenty years. You can talk to me. I only want to help," Deacon tells her.
She glances up briefly. She senses his sincerity but she knows that he is still hoping that she will choose him. She knows that he is hoping that they can be together now. Hell, she had hoped the same thing at first but then reality had set in. There would be too many consequences.
"I appreciate it, Deacon. Right now, I just need to be alone," she lies.
She wants him to spend the night. She wants to forget everything and enjoy the moment, but she knows that it would be a bad idea.
"Okay, Ray. Call me if you need me. I won't be far away and you know that I'm here for you just like I've always been," Deacon answers.
"Thank you. I'll see you on the plane tomorrow," she responds.
"Good night, Ray. You're the strongest woman I know. If anyone can handle all of this it's you," he insists.
He leaves the room. Now she is alone with her thoughts. She knows that the thought of being with him is just a fantasy. It would never be simple between them. Their past would prevent that. They had dated for eleven years and she had never been able to stop loving him. Even though they have now been apart for thirteen years, the spark is still there. She feels it when she is with him and she knows that he feels it too. It is just so complicated. She is already getting a divorce; she can't make it any worse than it already is by adding insult to injury. Teddy is a cheater but she refuses to stoop to his level. She refuses to drag the girls through an even bigger mess.
A relationship with Deacon would have too many strings attached. They could not be casual together. It had always been all or nothing for them. She isn't ready for that right now. And yet, her heart flutters at the thought. Deacon is the only man who has continuously frequented her thoughts for more than twenty years. Even now, she continues to dwell on the possibilities. She wonders how much longer she can deny herself. Deacon is the only one who can really make this whole situation feel better for her. He has the ability to heal her. Unfortunately, he also has the ability to tear her apart completely. He has never hurt her intentionally and he never would but she fears that his internal demons are always there in the background waiting to strike.
She thinks that a love as strong and complicated as theirs is almost like a fairytale but she can't help but wonder if happy endings even exist.