101 Rules of Being a Fon Master Guardian

by MistressLeia24

Having an important role such as the Fon Master's Guardian isn't all fun and games. There are rules. Well, not really rules...more like tips. But for the sake of time, we'll call them rules and there happens to be 101 of them. Possible IonXAnise

101 Rules of Being a Fon Master Guardian

A/N: Hello Tales of the Abyss people and Anise fans! Welcome to my first centric comedy! Hold your applause. Firs things first...

Disclaimer: All related characters unless stated otherwise belong ot Namco. I own nothing but the idea of this story.

Okay, basically this starts from the point Anise joined the Oracle Knights and goes until I finish with 101 rules. Each chapter will be a new rule and will have a little segement italicized that basically has a little blurb from Anise lookign back. (So bascially you can think of this as one big flashback.) The whole story will be told from Anise's P.O.V and will have a story line. I just haven't revealed it yet. Please excuse any typos or spelling errors. Don't have a Beta Reader yet and am certainly proofreading by my own eyes. Enjoy!

Rule One: Age is Never an Issue

Truth be told, the Oracle Knights have no set age limit. As long as you're not a complete infant or an old geezer ready to croak at any moment, they'll take you. Well, you still have to get past the approval of the Big Cheese but that was no problem for a cute girl like me!

"Another passageway!?" I shrieked, opening the large door in front of me to reveal a hallway exactly the same as the first. "How big is this stinking chapel!? …I'm almost starting to think that the money isn't worth this sort of frustration. …Almost. But seriously! Where could those cheagles be?!"

It would be an understatement to say I was ticked off. I was more bordering the lines of taking the nearest person, blaming it all on him/her, and beating them to pulp as they cry for mercy. Of course, then I would probably be arrested or disqualified for federal assault.

Running to the very end of the hallway, application form in hand, I yanked open the black and gold (I wonder if it's real gold.) door blocking my path. "Boooo…" I hissed, finding yet another carpeted corridor with little differences from many of the others. The only thing I could spot that really made it stand out, was the fact that it had two doors leading out of it. Great… More space for me to search and waste my valuable time.

Would a simple map be really so much to ask for? Even for an adorable girl like me? Hmm? Or do they just expect me to immediately know where to go? Well, I don't. And neither do I have psychic vision or anything freaky like that.

I was just your average (if by average you mean overly attractive) twelve year-old…who wants to join the Oracle Knights. Well, more specifically the Fon Master Guardian division.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. How could a girl my age even dream of being accepted into the Oracle Knights, let alone the Fon Master division? Well, it's really quite simple.

I needed cash. And not just the measly little five coin tips you get from working as a waitress for six hours one day. I needed like high paying job cash. Like fighting thousands of monsters cash. Like… lots of gald. Ask the parents? Heck no. One, Dad's already in debt up to his fon seals and two, they're both little puppets to the Score. I wasn't complaining or anything but if the Score told them to jump off a cliff and die, they would probably do it. Their favorite counter phrase was "Does the Score say you need it?" or "Have you consulted the Score?"

…In short, it got annoying real fast.

And don't even lecture me about how I should take a job or something like that before going to these extremes. I did work as a "janitor" for the local tavern up until now. My jobs were to gather the guest's sheets and dispose of the dirt that constantly gathered up under every single table. Let me just tell you something, sweeping dirt and dealing with picky guests that say their sheets aren't clean because of that one piece of lint all day is booorrrring! And I only got paid like one gald a week for my great services! Talk about a rip off…

It was actually Mohs that turned me onto the whole becoming Fon Master Guardian thing. Mohs is the high priest of the Oracle Knights and the guy who bailed my parents out of jail when they were in debt. In return, my parents had to work for the Order without pay. (I almost think that rotting in a jail cell would have been better. At least then we could pickpocket the guards and have some cash.) I really couldn't say what type of person he was though. He was intimidating to say the least and I had never really talked to him that much.

The only conversation we ever had was the one involving the whole guardian thing. Mohs had come to check up on my parents one day and had suddenly pulled me aside. I don't know why I was the one he chose to tell, but he explained to me that they were looking for a young guardian for the Fon Master as a replacement for Arietta. (Or Gloomietta as I call her. That girl is always so depressed, I tell you. As far as I know, she moved up to God-General status… I wonder why though…)

Now, I couldn't knock a guy out with one punch or anything, but I do know some pretty vicious spells. I don't mean to brag (well, actually I do but moving on…) but I can handle myself pretty well in a battle field. I'm quick with harnessing fonons and letting loose before any enemy can blink an eye. Just ask my parents. Who do you think took care of all of insect fiends when they infested themselves in our walls? Granted, we didn't have any walls for them to hide in afterwards but you got my point.

I could also control dolls with one of fonic artes for a time being. Usually it only lasted four minutes or so, but hey, that's something. If the Fon Master was ever attacked, I could send an army of Barbie dolls to swarm the enemy. Yeah, Barbie dolls. That would scare 'em away faster than Mom with a new recipe.

Overall, I may look innocent and cute but I'm a real devil when it comes down to it. (Tell no one I said that, you got that?)

Now, I didn't like the whole guardian thing at first but as soon as I Mohs said it paid fairly well, I was at the application table in a flash. Goodbye dust pans and brooms, hello fonstones!

It wasn't as easy as I had thought of course. First, I had to join the Oracle Knights and then I could apply for the position of Fon Master Guardian. Tch, technicalities. But other than the Oracle Knight training and everything, it sounded like a rather easy way in. Sure there were a few obstacles, but a cute little thing like me could handle it. (Just think of the cash, Anise. Just think of the cash!)

...Or that's what I thought before I found out I had to pass the "inspection trial". What's the inspection trial you ask? Well, you see, there are other candidates applying for the position of Fon Master Guardian (it is an honorable job… Oh, who am I kidding? I'm just in it for the gil) and just like me they have to pass a course in Oracle Knight training. Obviously the chapel doesn't have enough instructors for everyone that wants the job, so they have to narrow down the numbers and to do that, they created this oh so creative inspection trial to test all new, possible recruits.

…They sent us on a stinking cheagle scavenger hunt.

Yes, that's right. To decide who gets one of highest jobs of the Order's status, they sent us searching for five cheagles. Real smart and original, don't you think? Ya, this would decide who was the best for trusting the Fon Master's life with. …Not. Dumb idiots. (Though I suppose I shouldn't really call the people that might turn out to be my bosses dumb or idiots. Doesn't that just scream raise?)

Now usually cheagles are noisy, jumpy, and colorful, making them poor hiders. But these cheagles… These cheagles put every cheagle trait to shame and should be banned from being called the word "cheagle." The cheagles that they used are one, quiet, and two, their fur were such simple colors; brown, gray, a really horrible and indescribable green color, white, and black.

And do you know what everything, from the carpet, walls, and furniture, in these hallways are? Yep. Everything's brown, gray, that green color again, white and black. If I weren't the one going through this, I would be laughing my butt off, but since I was the one wandering the halls aimlessly as I squinted at every lamp, design, and portrait along the way, I had to stand here and somehow compress my rage. Wasn't an easy task let me tell you.

And they were so quiet! They didn't even make a peep when you found them. I could have passed sixteen right now and I wouldn't have a clue that they were there.

They weren't normal I tell you. And I have proof! I was starting to think the Order brainwashed them or something. Cheagle brainwashing… I wonder if that's illegal. Better yet, I wonder how much someone would pay me for reporting an illegal crime. I bet I could get proof. Spy/Special Secret Agent Anise is on the case! Start the really cool spy music!

Oh, and the proof that these cheagles weren't natural? The black one that sat like a statue on my shoulder, almost blending in with my one pigtail, was living proof of that.

Glancing over my shoulder for a split second, my brown eyes met those of the said cheagle. The little creature was staring wide-eyed at everything around him…or her with amazing interest like it was Baticul or something. Everything was basically the same as the last corridor; wasn't much to admire or any difference. …Poor creature must not get out much. I wonder if he's/she's ever seen money. I pity him/her if he/she didn't.

So basically, everyone who was participating had to find one cheagle of each color and report back to Mohs in the foyer. The two that got there first, with all five cheagles, would be selected to start training. Simple enough when you take away the quietness, the fact that they blend in, and how big this chapel was. All I had to do was beat out really only two kids.

A sudden heavy sigh escaped my lips. I was so tired of all this roving for the love of Yulia. There were four candidates including myself, and each candidate had five cheagles somewhere in this building. It should not be this hard to find four more of the twenty (now nineteen) cheagles in this building. What are they? Invisible?

I know. I was pathetic. I had been searching for an hour and all I had found was one stinking cheagle. The other three guys or girls must have been almost done by now. (I actually found it odd that I hadn't run into any of them yet. We were searching for the same things, right? But then again, considering the chapel's size, I wasn't too concerned.) Yeah, they were probably all in the foyer, laughing at my stupidness with a hidden camera placed somewhere near me.

I hadn't met the other three candidates yet (I was a tad late coming here and they had already begun the search when I was getting the instructions and the application form I was currently holding.) so I had no idea who my competition was. I could be up against body builders for all I knew. Of course, then I wouldn't feel that much shame losing to them and I could keep what little pride I had. If they were kids like me though…

I was in big trouble. Could you imagine me losing to a bunch of brats? The humiliation I tell you! I'll never live it down! I would be out of an excellent job, working at the inn again, poor, and my parents would still be Score pawns, which didn't help matters at all.

And the chances of them being kids were pretty high anyways. I had heard talk around town that they were looking for a guardian that was close to Ion's (that's the Fon Master and he's pretty young) age for unknown reasons. Maybe they just want him to have a friend or something along those lines. That would also explain why Mohs informed me of the job offering.

UGH!! I was so in over my head. Yulia help me… Or just send money; either way works.

"Eeny-meeny-miny-moe-catch-a-tiger-by-the-toe," I quickly chanted, finally sick and tired of standing here staring at the doors and throwing my decision to Lady Luck herself, "if-he-hollers-let-him-go-eeny-meeny-miny-moe." My gloved finger stopped on the right hand door as the tune ended. Let's hope Lady Luck is on my side today.

Rushing forward, I pulled the heavy door open and peeked around the edge, not wanting to scare off any of the cheagles that might be behind it. Unlike many of the other rooms I had been in, this one was actually different. For one, it wasn't just an enclosed hallway that sucked the energy right out of you. It actually looked somewhat like a catwalk suspended in mid-air over the entrance where we were supposed to meet back up with Mohs. The long bridge in the middle was connected to two side balconies, each having two doors on the very ends of the rectangle shape. A large oblong mirror stood at the balcony I was standing on, providing that funhouse effect when you stared at it long enough.

"Great," I muttered, closing the door behind me and placing my hands stubbornly on my hips. "Three ways for me to choose from. Just dandy."

Might as well check below and see if any one of the contenders were back yet.

Sprinting to the railing bordering the balcony I was standing on, I peered over the edge at the large, open area below. Mohs' tall, purple, and somewhat goofy, hat stood out against the many brown and black robed people scurrying around from place to place. Four cardboard boxes were stationed before him for us to put the cheagles in when we finished. (Yeah, and they were so active to begin with. Careful, if you set them down on the floor they might take two steps away from you!) Luckily, the boxes were all empty.

"Whew," I sighed, straightening up from my bent over position. "I've still got time."

My brown eyes wandered around the area, contemplating which door to take, when they landed on the mirror now behind me. At the location I was standing at, you could clearly make out my adorable (and sexy) physique in its slightly blurred glass.

While my hair still remained in its signature raven ponytails (as cute as ever), my clothes told another story. Now, my parents didn't have any real money to spend on the latest fashionable clothes or anything like that, so I usually have to wear what the chapel supplies them with. They were not pretty, let me tell you. Not even kind of pretty. They were downright ugly/ready-to-hurl bad. It was a down-to-the-floor robe, like those monks might wear (you can shudder in disgust now), and had a tiny Daathic symbol right where the neckline was supposed to be (and instead of a cute V-neck or something, it was just a pile of cloth that was tied together in the back because it was too big). The sleeves nearly swallowed my arms up while the coarse gloves that came with the outfit scratched at my frail finger tips every time I moved. A frayed rope was tied around my waist, letting a smig of my curviness that I was finally developing show. A pair of matching, leather shoes that were pointed at the toe finished off the overall horrifying look.

I shuddered in terror just looking at myself in the mirror. As soon as I became Fon Master Guardian, I was getting a new outfit with my first paycheck. I don't even know if this classifies under clothes anymore. And Mom, Dad, I did not look cute or dignified in this robe. The phrase that could describe me was cute face, but poor fashion sense. And I had much more fashion sense that people gave me credit for.

Focus, Anise, focus. Have to find the cheagles, have to find the cheagles. Do not think about sickening clothes; only cheagles… Only cheagles. Only cheagles. Only cheagles. Only che-.

"Mieu!!" cried the almost forgotten cheagle (sorry, he/she was just so quiet) on my shoulder, cutting my thoughts off. On a more important note, he/she actually spoke! It's a phenomenon, I tell you!

Running down the length of my right arm, the little creature desperately thrashed its arm in what looked like a pointing motion at a small dab of brown that appeared to be moving along the wooden floor of the other balcony. Wait a second, moving?

"Cheagle!" I suddenly shouted, louder then I meant to. All the people below probably heard that and were currently staring up at the right balcony while wondering if they had a ghost. Yeah, right people. On a side note, weren't the cheagles supposed to be hidden? Not moving about freely.

Unfortunately, the russet cheagle had also heard my sudden outburst of surprise. A small squeak escaped its lips and resounded off the walls as it scurried towards the nearest escape route, which was the first door on my left.

Like it could even open a door that heavy, I thought as I began my mad rush across the ramp to capture the little critter. I felt my little black friend (note to self: thank him/her later) dig its nails into the cloth on my shoulder in an effort to stay on. Sorry 'bout this little fellow. All I had to do was grab it and I would be one more step closer to getting out of these rags called clothes. Come to Mommy now…

I could already tell it was panicking, but as soon as it turned around to see me approaching, it went into freak out mode. I wasn't that scary, was I? Well, in this robe, I'm probably terrifying enough to give cheagles nightmares so…yeah. Oh, now why does it have to run away so fast?

Reaching the door, the frightened cheagle suddenly began jumping at the brass doorknob in an attempt to open to the door. To my surprise and utter dismay, its tiny paws actually connected with the cold metal. A small click could be heard as the door flung open and the cheagle jumped from its perch on the knob.

I stand corrected. Cheagles can open doors. Booo to cheagles.

"Wait!" I yelled, reaching the middle of the bridge and watching helplessly as the cheagle rocketed down to the now accessibly hallway. Like it was going to listen to me, the girl chasing it. I don't even know if cheagles understand English. "I just wanna catch you!" I continued, despite the fact that the creature wasn't visible anymore and the fact that it wouldn't ever respond. "And maybe sell you afterwards, but that's another story!"

If the people down below weren't looking up now, they were deaf.

My legs managed to carry me to the other side without tripping over the edge of my robe. I reached the door in a mad rush and began running down said hallway. "Come back here!"

It wasn't my age that would keep me from joining the Oracle Knights and becoming a Fon Master Guardian; it was chasing cheagles.

I knew I should have taken Cheagle Chasing 101 before coming here!

A/N: Well? Liked it? Loved it? Disliked it? Despised it? Hated it? Loathed it? Let me know! The inspiration for this was the fact that Anise doesn't really have a fic just staring her. Sure she has a big supporting role in some but most of the time it's a Sync or Ion oneshot with her as the love interest. I don't exactly know if I'll have a pairing in here yet. (If I do, it will most likley be IonXAnise though.) If you would like to see some romance, please tell me in a review. But other then that, it will mostly be Anise centric. The next chapter will add a bit more detail and form to the story as this one was only for info.

Oh! And for all of those who are also reading Runaway Princess, I am working on the second chapter. About the Barbie doll reference... I don't think it's too farfetched. The Abyss world does have pizza so... -shrug- A rag version of Barbie wouldn't be far off, don't you think?

I don't know when the next update will be, but I hope you all enjoyed reading this. If possible, review please. Everyone smiles when they read a review. And to all those who do your review, you all are awesome!