1.Throw Vala in his room and make sure she has not seen a man in 10 years
2.Take his Artifacts away and prevent him from seeing them again
3.Prohibit Coffee Drinking in the SGC
4.Have Mckay babble on about his achievements constantly in Danny Boy's room
5.Have Vala take an artifact but pretend that it is a memorable object
6.Have Vala take and use his credit card on useless clothing
7.Stick him with Harlan and have Harlan say "COMTRAYA!" all the time and nothing else
8.Have him go through another alternate reality unknowingly
9.Get another girl to kick his butt on the Prometheus
10.Tickle his ear when he is sleeping