written for ficbending at livejournal
it's not that we're scared, it's just that it's delicate
I wrote this pre-episode 5. I hope you like. Feedback is love.
Beautiful, Bolin thought when he saw her in that blue dress. It wasn't that she was the prettiest girl in the room. That was Asami, clinging to Mako's arm and wearing every poison glare, even Korra's, darted at her with grace. It wasn't that she had the loveliest of voices or the deepest of pockets. It wasn't that the dress was even particularly nice, really it wore her, so did the shoes. She looked out of place with her skin burned red and rough by the sun showing. It was simply that there was no other Korra. She was the Avatar and he was her first friend. It was that she was a vision in his mind that never faded.
Bolin wanted to tell her. The words scratched where he could not itch. His ears hurt in how often the words repeated themselves. His lips were raw from biting them to keep from saying, "I like you." The words were stupid, bad movie-like where a guy like him got the girl. 'She doesn't need to know.' He told himself. She doesn't need the stress. Not when they had a match to win. She didn't need to know how he felt about her when he followed her eyes. They searched the room for a flash of red, his brother's scarf. Mako. He loved that name, that face so why shouldn't she.
"Thank you for the flower and the cupcake." Korra said in soft voice. She was tired, but her mind was racing. It wouldn't let her get any sleep so she watched the calm sea hoping it would quiet her thoughts. It didn't. Tonight, despite its pleasant, lulling appearance it was roaring up and engulfing her. Bolin had joined her, said something about liking the view. She believed him.
"That was my gift for you saving my ass so you don't have to thank me." Bolin muttered.
She just looked at him, into his green eyes that somehow hadn't lost their hope, and smiled: be quiet. Like a friend, like a sister she knew every word before it left his mouth. "I'm saying it anyway. Especially the cupcake, I needed it."
"Yeah, you liked it? I made it myself," Bolin boasted.
"Really?" She knew he was lying, but she liked to entertain him.
"Yeah-no," He breathed deep before explaining, "I've been trying to learn, though. Mako says I should leave that to the girls, no offense, but I don't know I kind of like it. The last batch I made didn't turn out too great, but they were better than the ones before it. Even Mako said so…they didn't make him sick this time! I've been making him try them, can't eat them all myself. I'll get fat, fatter."
"You're not fat," She laughed. Bolin beamed a little. Not at what she said, but her laugh. She had changed, she seemed…older, more like Mako, but her laugh-it hadn't changed and that made it easier for him to accept that he hadn't been there for her like he wanted to be, like she deserved.
He wished he was strong and could protect her, but more than that he wished the world they lived in didn't need a girl, not the Avatar, just a girl to be protected. In this world he could sleep without having Amon's voice hammer its way into his head until he could sleep no more.
"You've just got a baby face," Korra wasn't looking at the water anymore. She was looking at Bolin. At the boy who was more a comfort to her than he could ever imagine. "It's cute."
'Cute? Great.' She thought he was cute and somehow that was worse than anything in the world.
"Were you afraid?" He was serious for once. She had told the world she wasn't, but he wanted an answer for his ears only.
"I bet you weren't. You're the Avatar, you're you."
'You're you.' He said that like it was better than being the Avatar, like he just wanted a brown-haired girl who still abided a curfew and not some legend.
"I was afraid." Korra admitted. "More than I've ever been in my life."
Her hands sat cold in her lap, aching to grasp his. He was drawing pictures no one would ever see on the pale marble steps they rested on. She wondered if they were meaningless doodles or was he etching out his next words or maybe, she liked to imagine, he was painting her portrait. The way her hair moved in the wind, her blue eyes, and her scarlet "think later" mouth.
It would be the first time she really felt his skin on hers. When it meant something other than pulling him along, to run faster and actually get up on Naga's back. Meant more than being cold; even though she was, she was shivering. But her hands just stayed in her lap.
"Nothing's going to happen to you, Korra. I won't let it."
She wanted to shush him with her lips. To stop the words that she didn't know how to make sense of, that made her feel weak.
"Thank you," She looked into the distance. She had to as her eyes burned. She had to look at anything but him. At the bright moon in the cloudy night sky that trailed every dancing blade of grass, the lap of waves, the shadows of confused boys and girls. "For the talk. You're a good friend."
"…Goodnight, Korra. Sleep well." His eyes lingered on her back. The heave in her shoulders turned his feet to lead, but he still walked away. He had to.
They weren't sure how to start so they never did.