Author's Note
This is a one shot based of the song "Kiss It Better" by He Is We. It is absolutely heartbreaking and I just about cried writing it. MAJOR character death. Be warned. It'll get you right in the feels. Semi happy ending but not really. Read at your own risk.
P.S. I was forced to remove the lyrics. Also I forgot to add the disclaimer that I do not own Once A Time or any of its characters. I am aware that the removal of the lyrics drastically reduces the dramatic effect but rules are rules. I hope you still enjoy it.
Present
Regina lay on the uncomfortable mattress in the cell on her back. Her eyes have long since gone dry without a tear left to shed. The sheriff, David, sits outside the cell with his head in his hands.
"How am I going to tell Mary Maragaret?" His voice is hoarse from crying and, even though Regina knows this, she feels the need to cover her head.
Unfortunately, the pillow is not heavy enough to crush her skull. She wished more than anything she could leave this cell and do away with her self. In what world would it be worth living without Emma Swan? Before she could stop it her mind wandered back...
A Few Hours Earlier
Regina and Emma had just left Granny's diner. Despite the most recent Curse, that seemed more like a blessing if she were being honest, they were laughing. Life in Storybrooke was proving to be much easier without magic.
She had decided that today was the day. She was finally going to tell Emma how she felt, just as soon as they got back to her home on Mifflin street. Then Emma was going to swoon and tell her how much she loved her in return. She hoped it worked out that way, anyhow. After all, Emma had been by her side through everything. Emma had had faith in her.
She was smiling whole heartedly when she heard the gun shot. It was close and her head immediately swung toward the sound. She saw a hooded figure retreating and a gun lying on the ground just a few feet away. She was about to give chase when Emma fell into her arms.
"Emma?! Emma!" Carefully lowering the both of them to the ground, she felt the sleeves of her shirt start to wetten.
"Gina...I'm hit..." Her voice was pained and her breath was coming in short gasps.
"ANYONE! CALL 911!" No one responded and Regina regretted leaving her cell at home.
Present
"Regina." She couldn't move. Not even to turn her head toward the grief stricken voice of her previous nemesis, turned new best friend.
Instead she kept her eyes shyt and willed the scenes away that plagued her mind. She should have known. She should have been prepared. Everything was going too good.
A Few Hours Earlier
"Emma, no. You're fine." Tears had already started to well up in her eyes.
"Make it...better Gina. I'm not...ready to...go." Emma's voice broke from emotion and Regina's heart broke with it.
"No, Swan. Don't you dare die on me." The tears spilled down her cheeks, totally unrestrained. "Oh, God, this is all my fault." A gentle hand cupped her face.
"It's not...your fault Gina. You...didn't know...this would happen." Blood was pooling around them now and Regina knew. Emma Swan, savior or not, wasn't coming back from this.
Present
"Regina, please talk to me." Her voice was even hoarser than David's and she did look at her now.
Guilt knotted her stomach as she looked into the red-rimmed eyes of her friend. If she had never fallen in love with her daughter, she wouldn't be standing there, disheveled and broken. Her hair wouldnt be sticking out at the sides as if she'd been trying to pull it out. Her eyes wouldn't be damn near hollow. She said the first words she'd spoken since Emma's death, and probably the last words she would ever speak.
"I am so sorry." The death of Emma Swan had managed to do to Regina what years upon years of heartache and torture had not managed to do: it broke her.
A Few Hours Earlier
Regina got a tight grip on Emma's hands and held them close to her heart. She tried to will warmth into the too-cold digits. She wished she could will her own life force into the other woman.
Without conscious thought and with tears still flowing down her cheeks, she covered Emma's face in gentle kisses. She made sure she didn't miss a single inch of her True Love's face while whispering to her. She wished she didn't feel the need to lie.
"Everything will be alright, my love." Emma's eyes had widened at that.
Only briefly, it would seem. For they closed forever shortly after. Regina held Emma close as her body grew cold, her cries echoing all around her.
Present
"Regina, it's not your fault." Snow, ever the positive thinker, was still trying to make her feel better.
Regina was past that. There would be no feeling better. There would be no peace. Ever again.
A Few Hours Ealier
Regina was holding Emma and sobbing when her eyes caught the gling of the streetlights off the gun. Rage boiled in her gut and she knew what she had to do. For the first time, she was going to get her vengeance.
"I couldn't avenge my lover all those years ago." She placed one final kiss on Emma's cool lips. "But I'll avenge my lover tonight."
Present
The townsfolk had been looking for a reason to lock her up. Now they had one. She had murdered a man in cold blood. The reasons mattered little and David couldn't fight all of them.
She should be angry. She should be fighting for her release from this cell. She should be ready to fight this thing and prove that, for once, she hadn't been in the wrong. She just couldn't. She didn't have enough of a heart left to care. Emma had taken that with her.
Present
Emma's last words bounced around in her mind. Even on her deathbed, she'd been trying to assuage Regina's guilt. Why had she wasted so much time? Why hadn't she just told Emma how she felt?
A Few Hours Ago
As gently as she could, she lay Emma on the ground. She'd seen death far more often than she cared to think about and wished she could believe that Emma was just asleep. Though the color was draining from her face and her eyes open just a sliver, she looked so peaceful.
Regina allowed herself one more glance at her dead love before turning to the gun. She picked it up, a dark satisfaction at the weight in her hands. Despite the heels she was wearing she took off running in the direction he had gone.
Within fifteen minutes, she found him. He was sitting on a curb with his hooded head dropped into his hands. His body was shaking as if he was sobbing. Her anger boiled beneath her skin. How dare he. She stepped up behind him and put the gun to his back, pointed directly at his heart. Then she saw the light shining off his hook. She almost stepped back in shock.
"Go ahead and pull the trigger, your majesty." His voice held none of the usual contempt despite his best efforts.
"Why?!" She could hear the anguish in her voice and made no effort to disguise it. He looked at her over his shoulder with his hollow eyes.
"The bullet was meant for you." He pulled back his hood and stared into her eyes, knowing what was coming next.
She wasn't sure what made her pull the trigger. The guilt, the grief, the hatred she'd already felt for the dirty pirate. Whatever the reason, she did pull the trigger.
The relief she hoped for, however, didn't come. She watched his lifeless body fall to the ground and felt no satisfaction, just emptiness. She fell to her knees and screamed out her sorrow until, she too collapsed to the ground. She lay on the ground sobbing until David had showed up.
Years Ago
"Oh, come on Regina. It's just a game." Emma's eyes danced with mirth as she crushed Henry at a video game.
"A game loaded with violence abd profanity." She crossed her arms over her chest and quirked an eyebrow.
"Lighten up, Queenie." Her smile had been what had Regina relenting.
"Fine. But only for a little bit." Emma had grinned then, her infectious smile lighting up the entire room.
Several Months Ago
"I'm just not happy with him anymore, you know?" Emma was thoroughly trashed.
Regina sighed and poofed them back to her house. She pushed Emma onto the bed only for the blond to grab her lapels on the way down.They ended up in a tangle of limbs with their faces only inches from each other.
For several moments, neither of them could move. Regina awkwardly cleared her throat and stood, bidding Emma a good night. Once outside the door, however, she leaned against it and willed her heart to slow.
A Few Days Ago
"You want to go on a date? With me?" Emma had olaced a hand on her forehead then. "Are you sick?"
Regina had scoffed at that and began to gather her things. She could have just said no. There was no need to be insulting.
"Gina, wait. I didn't mean it like that." She sounded sympathetic and Regina turned to her with a quirk of her eyebrow.
"Then how did you mean it, Swan?" God, she never should have asked.
"I'm just shocked. I didn't realize you were interested." She had the presence of mind to look sheepish.
"Well I am. So what do you say, Emma? Would you like to have dinner with me on Friday?" She already had the whole night planned out. From Emma's disgusting dinner at Granny's to her confession.
"Absolutely, Gina. What time?" Her smile then made Regina smile back at her.
Present
The Emma she yearns to remember, smiling and joyous, struggles to stay at the front of her mind. It's losing the battle to the bloody, defeated version she'd seen just hours ago. She didn't want that Emma as she fell into a heartbroken slumber. Then she would dream of her death for sure. She wanted to dream of her life, she could have her back then.
Present
Emma's last words echo through her mind like a mantra even as Snow and David invade her grief. She understands that no pain compares to that of losing a child. She just wished they would leave her be.
"How are we going to tell Henry?" Regina wished her heart could break at the thought of their poor son losing both of his mothers.
It couldn't, though. She felt nothing but her loss, her guilt, and her grief. Even the heart of the truest believer wouldn't be able to save her this time. He couldn't save her from herself.
Her eyelids grew heavy and she wished like hell sleep would come easy. In her dreams, she could hold the blonde again. In her dreams, she could hear her laugh. In her dreams, she could love her and be loved back.
Present
She thought of Emma at her best. Emma smiling and laughing with her. Emma scarfing down seconds and thirds of Regina's lasagna.
Present
She thought of Emma learning how to control her magic. Emma arriving in Storybrooke with no idea what was going on. Emma saving the entire town on several occasions. Emma saving her. Emma believing in her even when she didn't.
Finally, after hours of forcing happy thoughts, she was reunited with her love in her dreams. And, in the morning, when they found her body in the cell, he would declare it a broken heart. And in the afterlife, they would be reunited.