A Lucy/Mina fanfic from Lucy's P.O.V. Set at the end of 1x03. Based on episode 2 and 3, however it doesn't follow the exact order of what happens in the episodes. Lucy appears to be a strong, beautiful woman to everyone but when it comes to Mina she just doesn't know what to do. This probably won't be a one-shot, but I don't know how closely I'll stick to the events of the series if I do write more. This became increasingly more fluffy as it went along... I sincerely apologise. Rated T just to be safe as I don't know where my brain will take this fic. :)
Mina. Mina Murray. The name slips silently off my tongue, and each time, I savour the poetic rhythm of it. A name almost as poetic as its owner; but not truly coming close. How can a woman appear so superficially beautiful to those around her, whilst simultaneously bearing the intelligence to exceed so many of the so-called gentlemen she is educated alongside? She is unique, special, far more special than Jonathan Harker will ever understand. He gives her no credit; his ideas of a 'proper English wife' have been ingrained in him since childhood; no credit that she possesses a mind far more complex and able than his will ever be.
I hear Mina say "I passed..." in a tone full of evident excitement and relief. In that moment my pride in her has overtaken any other emotion, we're giddy with delight as I smile and interrupt with "Not only passed, but top in her class." She is grinning, her perfect smile makes my insides squirm with content, her eyes glisten with a hint of pride in herself, but none of that could come close to the immense sense of pride I feel for her in this moment. I automatically finish Mina's next sentence, it barely registering as it leaves my lips, "...she's the first female student to come top of her class in college." A light blush crept across her cheeks that made me feel warm inside, as though the heat of her cheeks was warming me. I feel a slight pang of jealousy as I think how Mina is putting her intelligence to good use whilst I'm stuck being the 'proper' lady, why can't I use my intelligence like her? Then, the moment of pleasure is gone and all I can feel is jealousy. I'd been watching her intently as she excitedly relayed our previous conversation to Jonathan, but in the next moment I couldn't look any longer. She embraces Harker and plants a gentle kiss on his lips. He barely kisses her back, I know this because I snatch a glance at Mina's captivating cobalt eyes as they flicker over Jonathan's features. If I was in his place, I'd have held her close and that kiss would have explained to her the things words couldn't... and then there's Jonathan, barely even caring. My tone falters slightly as I tell Mina's darling Jonathan that I've booked us a table at the Savoy, I couldn't care to sit with the ungrateful man at a table... but I didn't expect him to turn it down. Did he do it to impress Mina? No, no, he chose to go to Grayson and work instead of celebrating with us. He chose work over Mina. Her independent nature is evident now and she can't help but confront Jonathan. He doesn't know whether or not he wants her to pursue her dream of becoming a physician, I've thought that for a while, now I know for sure. Mina is slowly realising it aswell. I hate that he's messing with her in this way but I just want her to realise that it's not always perfect.
Dearest Mina.
I'm sat here in my bed, it's the middle of the afternoon and the only thing I can think of is Mina. A rose lies beside me, with its individual petals discarded, atop of a note written in my neatly looping handwriting. It's not fair. It's consuming me. I can never have her... I know I can't. But you cannot help who you fall for. She's my best friend, she's always been my best friend. I remember when she first met Jonathan, a boy of seventeen who Mina fell for immediately. He's not from the same background as us, if anything, he's a complete commoner. My family would be appalled if I fell for someone like him... but that's my family for you. I don't know where he grew up or how our paths came to cross... but I know that as soon as they saw each other, Mina didn't stop talking about him. I had never felt the sort of jealousy I felt in those next few months. I didn't understand it back then, but over the coming months and years I fully understood why I felt so jealous when she spoke about her darling Jonathan. I'm expected to marry a gentleman of status, someone who can care for me and provide for me... as though I am a child, if my father had allowed me to study as Mina does perhaps it would be different. I've been brought up to believe in the proper Victorian lady, but as I look at Mina the first thing I see is someone so strong and independent... proof that not all women need to be molly-coddled their entire lives. Mina's the only person I can completely be myself around. I'm happiest when I'm with her, that's how it's always been. We are completely content in each other's company.
"If the cure for my loneliness and your broken heart are the same thing..." I hold myself strong in front of Mina; not daring to show my inner emotions; smiling widely at her, my heart pounding.
She whispers to me, "How did you know?" as her eyes flicker to the ground. She doesn't have the glint in her eye that is usually there. She overheard Jonathan's protestations about her being (or not being, should I say?) a 'proper English wife' and I can see by the look on her face that she's heartbroken.
"Dearest Mina, do not shed a single tear for Jonathan Harker..." my words are quieter than I had anticipated, gently laced with comforting tones. "...we'll forget him together, at my house." It was out of my mouth before I realised... not that I regretted it the slightest bit. As I step forwards towards Mina, I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from running a finger along her jaw, carefully calming the anger concealed within her slight body. Mina doesn't get angry, not openly at least... however, she felt angry about what Jonathan had done and that was as clear as day. I wanted to hold her close but that's not my style, I don't feel comfortable doing that; at least no whilst I'm sober anyway. I make a few choice comments and begin to suggest that the two of us go out that night. Mina blinks desperately to try and hide her tears, but I know she's hurting... and that's Jonathan's fault entirely.
A lukewarm tear rolls down my cheek and I snatch it away with a corner of the bed sheet. I need to get a hold of myself. I don't cry. Pathetic. I try not to let Mina monopolise my thoughts but that's virtually impossible to do. I feel my anger towards Jonathan mellow as I brush my fingers through my hair, the repetitive action calming me and lulling me into a light sleep. I allow my eyes to gently close again; even though it's the middle of the afternoon; as I think about last night, falling deeper into dreamland... closer to Mina.
She's radiant, her cheeks glow as the mid-morning sunlight creeps through the curtains up at the window. I don't want to look. It feels wrong watching her whilst she sleeps, but she just looks so peaceful. I take my book off the bedside table and begin to read, not really taking in the words dancing around on the page. It feels like I've been awake for hours already, I can't bear to wake Mina, not yet... after all, I'm surprised she looks so peaceful after the previous night.
Mina doesn't really drink alone, definitely not on the scale that I do, but when we're together she can drink me under the table. How un-ladylike of us. I laugh thinking about how un-feminine we can sometimes be when we're together. Both me and her have wealth and beauty on our side; just as any good lady should; but Mina's put the intelligence she possesses too good use; unlike me... but evidently, that's not desirable to everyone. We sit in a club, barely paying attention to the other people around us. Drink after to drink. We get giggly when we're drunk; carefree. We lay our heads on each other's shoulders momentarily before we're overcome with another wave of laughter. Suddenly, our foreheads are touching. My heart is pounding against my ribs. She still looks so innocent, even with a drunken delirium clouding her judgement. A strand of her chestnut hair un-coils from her neat up-do as she leans against my forehead. My breath catches in my throat, causing me to go dizzy... or was it just from the close proximity I'm in with Mina? Her perfume smells of enticing flowers and I have to use all my will power to stop myself kissing her. Would she mind? She's the one leaning on me... it may only be for a few moments, but I hold her gaze several seconds too long and then she breaks into another fit of giggles and moves away. For a moment, I regret not kissing her, but imagine if she'd taken offence. Of course she'd have taken offence... wouldn't she? I can't risk it, I can't lose my best friend over something like that. We laugh together, drinking until almost dawn. We stumble home to mine in the early morning sunrise, my heart pounding every time Mina collides with me on the walk back. I can usually hold myself together, alcohol doesn't affect me like this often... how much had me and her got through that night? It doesn't bear thinking about but one thing I knew was that it felt awfully liberating.
My eyes flick over the words on the pristine pages, looking from the book, to Mina and then back to the book. There's a slight smile lingering on her lips, I wonder if she's dreaming... and for that matter, what she's dreaming about.
When we get to the door, Mina sees there is a bouquet of delicate red roses standing on the step. I don't for a second think they are for me, so she picks up the card as we both giggle, our delirious state increasing. She hands the card to me, as I'm more used to being this delirious, and I read it aloud. "When it comes to dreams one may falter, but the only way to fail is to abandon them. Congratulations." The card wasn't signed. Was it Jonathan? Even he doesn't revert to grovelling as rapidly as this. Mina said it wasn't Jonathan. I hope he's somewhere feeling immensely guilty for what he said about Mina. Who else could such a spectacular bouquet be off? She scoops them into her arms and we stumble in through the door, subsequently apologising each time we crash in to one another. Who could have sent these roses? The person who's sent them to her clearly cares an awful lot. Could it be Jonathan? Possibly? No, it must be someone else, the message on the card wouldn't make sense to be from Jonathan... but who else could it be? I'm glad someone cares for Mina enough to send this bouquet but I feel agonisingly jealous all over again. If it wasn't Jonathan who'd sent these flowers with a card full of encouragement... then there's someone else desperate for Mina's attention. Someone else hopelessly vying for her love, just as I am. Mina looked almost as though she knew who had sent them, she'd even glanced around before we headed inside... looking for someone. I'm desperate to know who it was, but for now I'll savour my time with Mina. As she places the beautiful bouquet down on a nearby table, each rose's intoxicating scent swirls towards my nostrils. They smell almost identical to the perfume Mina is wearing tonight. I unconsciously reach down and pluck one from the centre of the bunch, carefully avoiding the sharp thorns guarding each stem. I breathe in it's scent and then suddenly I hear music start up in the next room. I could swear Mina is trying to kill me with her behaviour tonight. I slowly walk in to the next room, constantly telling myself to hide my emotions... even though the alcohol in my system is screaming at me that this is my opportunity, but I know it isn't. Mina grabs my right hand and guides me in to the centre of the room, trying to stop herself giggling hysterically. "Care for a dance, Captain Westenra?" Mina asks flirtatiously; continuing our playful joke from earlier in the evening; as we begin to dance. I cannot keep myself from smiling as I repeat Mina's words in my mind. It must be at least 5am by now, the sun's fingers creep through the nets up at the window, and here's me and Mina dancing around the room hand in hand. I'm holding on to both of her hands now and we're swirling around the room together in time to the music. This is ridiculous. Is this actually happening or am I just dreaming? Ouch. I clip my elbow on the corner of a chair and lean my weight forwards on to Mina slightly more to steady myself, still clutching the russet rose between my fingers. Definitely not dreaming. I laugh. Mina stops and I consciously tell myself not to stare at her because my heart is already pounding desperately against my ribs at this whole situation. Mina's cobalt eyes glance towards the grand clock on the wall, her eyebrows shoot upwards as she realises the time. Without even having to speak, I know she's heading up to bed now and as she walks out of the room I follow behind her. She spends so much time in my house that she knows her way around almost as well as I myself do. There's never been any question of why the two of us sleeping in one room would be construed as anything other than two good friends... which is exactly what we are; and must remain. I must have fallen asleep as soon as I got in to bed because when I wake up I barely remember anything except pulling the covers over me, already dozing off. Which brings us back to the sunlight streaming through the window and me pretending to read whilst snatching glances at Mina's peaceful, sleeping frame.
I place the book down on the bedside table where I found it and slowly ease myself off the bed so not to disturb Mina as the sun dances on her flawless cheeks. I walk across the polished floor of the bedroom, over to the ornate desk. I begin to twist my hair back up roughly and clip it into place, then decide that it is more hassle than it's worth and I place the pins back down on to the desk. My eyes are drawn to my barely used block of note paper neatly arranged on the desk in front of me. It's barely used because I never write to anyone, I find it far too time consuming. I take the pen in my hand and begin to write, not thinking about what I'm writing for one second. My carefully curled letters falter slightly as my hand shakes. This is ridiculous, again, I'm not a nervous person... perhaps it's my hangover making me shake? I know it's not, but I do anything to convince myself that Mina isn't making me this nervous. I finish my note and read it through, before even reaching halfway down I realise it makes no sense at all. I crumple the paper up tightly in my fist and throw it into the waste basket at the side of her desk. I take another piece of paper and pick the pen back up between my fingers and write in the most elegant cursive I can, "Dearest Mina..." then I stop to think about what I'm going to write. I feel the knots in my stomach become agonisingly tight. I write the truth... well some of it at least. I write how I'm only happy with her, how she inspires me... I tell her almost all of the truth; except my own true feelings for her. Once I've finished writing, I sign, "Your best friend, Lucy Westenra" with a flourish at the bottom of the paper. I cautiously pick up the rose which I must have laid on my desk before I went to sleep earlier that morning. I walk over to the bedside table on Mina's side and lay both the note and the rose down carefully with a smile dancing on my lips. I slowly walk back over to my side of the bed, the sunlight was glaringly bright now and I look at the clock that was gently ticking on the other side of the room. It's already afternoon. I sit myself back down on the bed atop the warming blankets and look towards Mina again. I watch her eyes flicker under her lids, she seems to be beginning to stir and I can't help but smile. I gently run my finger along her lips, lingering there until she opens her eyes with a smile. My heart is racing as I wonder if she's going to say anything... but she doesn't, all she does is smile.
"You're up," Mina whispers after a few moments, my stomach flutters at the sound of her voice.
"Thinking." I reply honestly. What else am I to say?
"Oh, thinking..." Mina's breathy voice responds, I feel my stomach writhe as I try not to be to obvious about my feelings.
"I do think you know, every so often." My automatic reaction; joke around.
Mina, inquisitive as ever asks me, "And what are you thinking about?"
I don't stop myself, I don't even think at first. I just reply, "You. You inspire me to..." then I realise I can't say what I was about to so finish the sentence with, "I don't know, greater independence, I suppose." I look away from Mina as I'm sure it's glaringly obvious to her that I'm lying, especially considering she knows me so well.
"What time is it?" Mina asks, her voice still breathy and laden with sleep.
"Two, we gave half the day to the night." I answer with a gentle laugh... well, until I see the look on Mina's face as she practically leaps out of the bed.
"Two?" She repeats frantically, a slight hint of anger creeping in to her voice. I feel bad for not waking her now.
"Mina, what is it?" Mina's urgency is echoed in my reply, however I remember exactly why she's so frantic. I don't need to await the radiant brunette's response, however I do.
"I missed Professor Van Helsing's class," she mumbles as she heads towards the door. I feel guilty. I've been awake for a few hours now and I should have remembered she needed to be somewhere, but she'd just looked so peaceful... it would have been like waking a sleeping baby. She leaves in a hurry and once she is gone, I cast my eyes across to the side of the bed where she'd been sleeping and my heart sinks. The rose and the note lay untouched on the bedside table. I lean over and pick them up, no longer bothering to mind the thorns dotted along the stem of the rose, and drop them on to the bed beside me. I cover my legs over with the duvet and pick up the rose and pull out a single petal, just turning it over in my hand before dropping it beside me. I continue this until all the petals lay in a pile beside me and another single tear meanders down my warm cheek. I wish that I could tell Mina how I feel, but now she hasn't read the note, I probably won't tell her. However, I'll keep the note... you know, just in case.
I hope you guys didn't find it too boring or rubbish, I'd greatly appreciate it if you could leave me a review or something... you know, reviews motivate me to write more. I really enjoyed writing this first chapter, so I'd like to write more if you'd read it. X